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Your parents and grandparents are (definitely) stopping you from having the life that you want (and deserve).

 

your parents and you

 

Let’s begin with the fact that each and every one of us is 100% responsible for our life experience. This is not about blaming others for our circumstances. In fact, that’s shrugging our responsibility off our shoulders. Nonetheless; Your parents and grandparents are (definitely) stopping you from having the life that you want (and deserve).

 

This is how it works.

 

Most of us (if not all), are born into specific family lines, which are riddled with unconscious, abusive or addictive behaviour, that has the capacity to destroy individuals and harm those around them. My personal family lineage carries within it alcoholism, poverty, shame, abuse, anxiety, fear and depression. I have shared some of those experiences here and here.

 

Some people say that these elements are hereditary, throw their arms up in the air, and choose to be victims of their lineage and past.

 

And then this is what happens.

 

We repeat the same patterns from the past, wrapped up carefully, and repackaged in ways that appear different. We choose relationships that are abusive and controlling, because that’s what we know, what we are comfortable with, and are used to. We turn to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain, because hey, it’s socially acceptable and that makes it ok, right? We unconsciously choose to be victims of fate, and blame the name-less Gods in the heavens for our misfortunes. We live with depression and believe that there’s nothing we can do to change it. We don’t ask our worth, don’t value ourselves and are consistently underpaid, because “the world is a cold and careless place”, not because we have a poverty pattern running through us.

 

Essentially, we choose to be powerless and not take responsibility for our lives.

 

Because; Oh no. It couldn’t be us.

 

But that assumption wrong. It is us.

 

There is another choice.

 

In fact, I believe that our generation has been given an invaluable gift: the courage, tools, and ability to say no. This negative, undermining, self-destruction and sabotage ends here. No more. No more alcoholism, poverty, shame, abuse, anxiety, fear and depression.

 

We have the power to close that cycle, and end it in our lifetimes, not just for ourselves but for the generations in front of us. Not only can we end and heal those negative cycles. We can heal the past and the wounds of our parents and grandparents by choosing to do so. As far as that timeline stretches in either direction.

 

We have the power. And we owe it. To ourselves. To our future. And to our past.

 

How?

 

It’s simple and complex.

 

The simple answer is: by being aware and conscious. When we bring our fullest self-awareness into every moment, be start to notice when we do and say things that are out of alignment with our true nature. It feels edgy, we respond too quickly, choose re-actions out of habit rather than presence, and we repeat the patterns that harm us. With that awareness, we empower ourselves with seeing what these genetic patterns actually are.

 

The complex answer is: changing those patterns can be hard. Often they are so deeply ingrained into our DNA from generations and generations of repetition, that once we become aware of them, removing them is the only answer, just as one would want to remove a cancerous cell from an otherwise healthy body. It takes commitment, a willingness to get uncomfortable, the inner strength to face those patterns head on, and a determination to see it through, despite how emotionally or physically painful the experience may be.

 

The result is true freedom. Freedom from the damaging constraints of an unhealthy lineage. And freedom to create a life that is truly your own.  Freedom to be you. And exhalation from the weight of generations past.

 

We have the choice and power to change ourselves, our physical, emotional and spiritual bodies, and the future. Which is a beautiful, beautiful inspiring thing.

 

I myself have been working through lineage patterns, for the past couple of years now. It was the next step, after I had cleared all the negative patterns from my own, short yet potent life so far. It’s a challenging, yet incredibly worthwhile and fulfilling process. And it gift to me the ability to create anything that I can imagine in my life, as I have shared here.

 

And what is truly exciting, is being able to help my clients who are going through that process in their own lives, as they wade through the muddy waters of lineage history, and choose to transform into crystal clarity.

 

Do you feel called to clear your past, discover your freedom and create and brilliant new path for the future. I have just opened up 2 new spots for my 3 month coaching program. Click here, to book a free 15 minute ‘get to know each other’ session, and discover more.

 

 

Photo credit: JBird.

So, I’m still no-poo-ing, 1 year later. (+ 5 things I learnt along the way.)

No-poo-ing 1 year later.

 

Yes. It’s true. I’m still no-poo-ing, 1 year later.

 

When I first wrote all about no-poo, I too, thought it might just be a phase or trend, but it’s a wonderful new habit that has stuck, and I’m utterly convinced that it’s the best way to care for my hair ever. My hair was only just touching my shoulders then, so see how much it’s grown!

 

But I have definitely learned a few things along the way. Here are 5 of those things:

 

  • You are unique, so make sure you treat yourself like it. You have to get the bicarb soda, and water to vinegar proportions just right to suit your personal hair type. I personally have very fine hair, and a lot of it, so it tangles and damages really easily. Which means less bicarb to begin with, and more vinegar diluted in water, than many other people on the internet proclaim to use.

 

  • Your hair ends up smelling like salad. I knew that, plus, I like salad, but when my boyfriend gently mentioned it a couple of times, I got the hint and decided to do something about it. My solution? A few drops of essential organic lemongrass oil in every vinegar/water solution. He loves the smell now. It’s fresh and clean and a totally uplifting.

 

  • Men like to no-poo too. Speaking of my boyfriend, not only does he now love the smell, he’s actually started no-poo-ing himself. He has had issues with dandruff and an itchy scalp for years now, and ever since he’s started using my no-poo method, he’s been itch and dandruff free. Not only that, he also says his hair is the softest it has ever been before. Ha! Totally suckered in. Plus, he likes the idea that he’s saving the dolphins by doing no-poo. No toxins, no chemicals not bad stuff floating into our nearby oceans.

 

  • Raw eggs become your hair’s best friend. As mentioned previously, my hair tends to hang out on the dry end of the scale, which means it wants plenty of love and treatments to keep it looking shiny and healthy. “Oh, but the toxins!” you’ll hear me say. But, what I have discovered is this: 1 raw egg yolk, mixed with a dash of cold water, and used as a shampoo instead of bicarb and vinegar, about once a month, is a miracle-worker. I always have the softest, lush-est, most delightful hair the day after, and it saves me having to buy icky, expensive and toxic treatments. Plus, now that we have 5 chickens for the time being, it couldn’t be any easier!

 

  • Argan oil rocks. So, to combat my general hair dryness from too much sunshine, surf, and all things fun, I’ve been experimenting with hair oils. Almond, coconut and olive oil are all lovely, but somehow too heavy and fatty for my fine strands. I end up looking (and feeling) like a greased up monkey, clapping cymbals, which, trust me, is not a good look for me! Argan oil, however is as gentle as a saint, and make my ends feel happy, light, and protected.

 

We have a new experiment coming up soon; Making our own toothpaste. I’ll let you know how that goes…

 

A journey to Freedom: 10 learnings from #10WeeksofFree.

 

http://thebootstrapassembly.com

 

Late last year, I awoke from a dream, which contained all the content for one of my most popular coaching programs to date: #10WeeksofFree. I ran it for a second time earlier this year, and was graced with a group of the most stunning, beautiful souls one can imagine.

 

One of these was Tracey Gobey from The Bootstrap Assembly. So when this incredible, passionate and multi-creative woman sent her biggest turning-points and lessons from #10WeeksofFree, to me, I was totally blown away! And of course, I had to share her words with you. Behold:

 

 

A journey to Freedom: 10 learnings from #10WeeksofFree.

 

When Vienda sent a note out to ask for feedback on her #10weeksoffree program, I felt that a few generic statements back to her about my experience wasn’t enough. I wanted to share a richer story about how much the program has changed my life.

 

This was also the first time I ventured into this type of coaching. I am pretty good at signing up for business-related courses but this was a new zone for me. Typically anti anything that resembled woo-woo, I felt that I should try something different. I am so glad I did and I now think a little bit of woo-woo is a good thing.

 

Let me start by telling you a bit about myself. Throughout my life I have been incredibly successful at most things that I turned my hand to.

 

A tennis career that took me around the world and paid for my college education, a successful corporate career with promotions and more money than I cared to spend, a home owner by 26 (all on my own) and a great marriage to boot.

 

Seemingly I was ticking all the boxes we are supposed to tick. To add to all of this, my husband and I recently set out for an epic one year road trip around the USA, we are currently in month three in Texas after having explore the south-west, taking in amazing sights like the Grand Canyon, living in an adobe home in New Mexico and skiing Lake Tahoe (all off the sale of my apartment).

 

So, I’m good on paper right?!

 

But in spite of all this, I was stuck in a paralytic state of fear and uncertainty about what I was supposed to do with the rest of my life. You see the corner office, power suits and sky-high heels don’t really tick my boxes any more.

 

So what was my problem?

 

My problem, I am coming to learn is that I was not truly FREE.

 

“Freedom” or “being free” of course means different things to different people. For me, it was (and to some extent still is) a bit of a mental battle – I know what I want, I’m just not sure which path I want to take to get to it. Perhaps it is in this fact alone – all this choice, an abundance of options and opportunities that lies my greatest challenge. Finding my path to simplicity and alignment.

 

I don’t have it all figured out (I’m not sure we ever do), but I am in a more peaceful place and know that my journey through this crazy ride called life will be a lot smoother.

 

So when I think about my own freedom and how it has been impacted by my journey through #10weeksoffree, these are some of the learnings that are now guiding me. It is in little actions that I am learning to take every day, which are getting me closer to my version of free.

 

  1. That’s it 100% OK to not know all the answers and have solutions to everything straight away, all the time.
  2. That I can’t predict the future, I just have to live in the now and the rest will take care of itself. Worrying about the future doesn’t do anything but create pain and fear in the present. It’s so not worth the effort.
  3. That I do not have to solely value myself on the work I do, or the hours I spend doing it. I give value in every moment – it may be making a beautiful meal for a loved one, a kind word to a stranger, taking time out for myself. I am valuable – I am enough!
  4. That it’s OK to start things and sometimes not finish them. By nature I’m a creator and an explorer – these are my strengths and I should cherish them, work with them and not mark myself down on them.
  5. That I can make up my own rules. And know that when I follow them instead of other people’s idea of what I should be doing, I will be living a more authentic life.
  6. To always follow my fun. Do what makes me feel great and I enjoy…and not feel guilty about doing so.
  7. To let my feminine side have more of a say in how I live my life. I have been very successful in a male dominated world and if that’s not the type of world I want to live in anymore then I need to shift my attention – this means listening to my intuition more, to breathe instead of push through things, more calm less hustle.
  8. To be OK with making mistakes or not getting the exact result I wanted. That a failure should not mean giving up on something, but rather finding a new way or trying to do it a little differently.
  9. To allow myself the space and time to be still. To sit with feelings, fears and doubts and not try to find an immediate solution – let the universe do its magic in these times.
  10. To be OK with just saying “f**k it” and letting things go. One door closes and another will open – they always do, I know this, I just have to trust it more.
  11. I know I said 10, but who doesn’t like bonuses…I think I may have found my gypset tribe through this journey.

 

So that was #10weeksoffree for me. It was amazing journey (and continues to be) and opened up a whole new way of thinking and being for me.

 

*Those of you who have been asking me about when I am running #10WeeksofFree again, sign up for my newsletter to stay in the loop.*

 

Growing pains and Gypset Adventures. (All access – no holds barred, emotional breakdown.)

By Louie Luxe.

 

 

I woke up this morning, feeling that pain in my heart again, a kind of sadness, but not, which I spoke of last week. I’ve been trying to intellectually understand and rationalise why I was feeling this way, for a week now. Moving between just trusting the unknown, and my inner processes — and wanting to understand, so I can fix it — has made the past week a strangely emotional one.

 

Until I realised something. This morning, amongst my musings, it all became so clear to me. This uncomfortable pain I was feeling; this sense of sadness; of letting go; is also coupled with a new beginning. And what I have been feeling, is growing pains.

 

You see, I’ve been working a really special project, which has seen me stretch and grow in ways, as never before.

 

And sometimes (always), when we create something so big, that it takes every part of you to commit and stay with it, it’s a bit (very) scary.

 

What happens, is that when we step out of our comfort zones, in order to create an experience that is beyond anything we have created before, we have to let go of old paradigms. We expand. We say goodbye to old beliefs. We open up. We take steps in directions where we don’t know what might happen next.

 

It feels like falling. And not knowing what will happen next, or if you’ll hit the ground.  It’s exiting. It’s exhilarating. It’s terrifying.

 

And it brings up all the blocks, fears and limitations. But when we continue to go forth with it, what we get, is growing pains. And then, beautiful, spectacular results.

 

Which brings me to what has caused all this commotion. Allow me present to you: The Gypset Adventure.

 

6 Months of support, source of strength + bi-weekly group coaching calls in the Gypset Live Mentoring.

A lifetime of new friends + allies from every corner of the world  – find your tribe in the exclusive Gypset Facebook group.

5 Month immersion in the soul + spirit meets financial + practical ‘SHE IS…’ digital eCourse.

3 days of live + personal putting-gypset-biz-life-into-practice at our unique 3 day Gypset Adventure retreat, in an international location.

8 Unique resources created by Vienda and Hayley in the form of eBooks and MP3 recordings as a gift, sent to your mailbox; download = instant.

 

I’d like to invite you to join me.

 

I’ll be sharing a lot of stories around this exciting adventure, over the next 6 weeks or so, but just to give you a little insight, here are the 5 elements that make up the Gypset Adventure.

 

Starting on Wednesday 1st of July, here is where the journey will take you. From Group, to online, to at home, forever, and face-to-face support, we’ve got you covered, in 5 Parts:

 

1.

Gypset_Headers_660x220_FINAL6“She Is…” Gypset Digital eCourse Series. A 6-month guided journey, with all the practicalities, principles and inner-work required by you, to make your Gypset dreams a reality. Delivered with love straight to you via beautiful videos, audio’s and PDF’s to whip your butt into aligned action, and soothe the queries of your soul. Yours to keep, forever and ever.

2.

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 6 Months of fortnightly coaching calls, to supplement the lessons you are learning in the Gypset eCourse. Get on the phone for laser-coaching by Vienda and Hayley, together, every two weeks, from around the globe, for the rest of the year, until it’s time to take your gypset journey to the world, and…

3.

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Turn your efforts and actions into results. You will be joining your Gypset sisters and your mentors for our 3-day International Work & Play Retreat, Gypset:Bali.  3 days of travel, lifestyle and business live work-shopping, hot-seats, and adventures, to celebrate live with your sisters from around the world. This retreat is the summation of everything you have worked towards, the accumulation of everything that you need to take continue this journey forever, and a celebration of everything to come.

4.

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 Gypset Private Facebook Group. This is where you get to start connecting to, and growing your circle of traveling sisters around the globe, chat, and ask questions with Vienda and Hayley, harness the support of your group while you’re on the go taking action, for continued support. Community is everything, and when you’re a Gypsetter, you require a very unique tribe. Consider yourself sorted.

5.

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Solo-Moment Support. 8 x hand-crafted digital resources to get you through anything, yours to keep forever and use on the road to keep you grounded, inspired, and focused on your goals and connected to your dreams. (*extremely helpful*) Plus, Whimsical, Sassy, Beautiful Gypset Surprises… Because –Wanderlust!

 

Want to know more? Check out the full details here. I’d love to have you with me, on this particular adventure.

 

Top image by Louie Luxe.

 

Post-full-moon-blues, sleepless nights and juicer-pulp carrot muffins.

Post-full-moon-blues juicer pulp muffins.

 

I have been feeling really sad, ever since the full moon on Monday.

 

I can’t really explain what or why. Maybe it’s because this full moon was in Scorpio and has us delving into the deep mysteries of the heart and our truth. I’ve been sleepless for too many nights and teary eyed. Apparently that’s to be expected according to this astrologist.

 

I feel like I’m mourning something that hasn’t happened yet. Or happened so long ago, that I can’t remember it. Maybe it’s a past-life thing, just as my angel cards said, when I went to see my waxing lady on Tuesday.

 

Whatever it is, I know I just need to sit with it. And feel it. And allow my heart to speak its truth. Even though it feels uncomfortable and sad.  I also know I just need to trust myself and life. I think I’m hitting something that psychologists call ‘an upper limit problem’ when you hit a certain level of life that is beyond anything you’ve experienced before and because it’s so new, there’s a danger of self-sabotage if you don’t stay fully present and aware of it, without reacting. In the past, I might have run. Fast.

 

So, instead, what I do, is bake: How to turn juicer pulp, into the most delicious, moist and healthy gluten-free carrot muffins. Because feeding people makes everything feel better.

 

Post-full-moon-blues juicer pulp muffins.

 

 

Post-full-moon-blues, sleepless nights and juicer-pulp carrot muffins.

 

I am really conscious about food waste, it’s something that I abhor. Why would we ever waste any of nature’s precious resources in any way?!! Which means that every time I make freshly pressed juice, because it’s so good, I feel a little bit sad about throwing all the pulp away. Luckily, at the moment we have 5 happy chickens who will devour some of it, but other times, I bake with it.

 

Which brings me to the obvious start: I made a massive 1.2 Litre carrot, apple and ginger juice for my love and I for breakfast, and then placed the pulp in a big metal mixing bowl, to bake with later, in between all my other tasks, and before meeting with my beautiful coaching clients, starting from noon.

 

Juicer-pulp carrot muffins.

 

What to do:

 

Start by preheating the oven to 180C, and oiling a muffin pan. Then get your bowl of juicer-pulp.

 

  1. Add 3 eggs;
  2. 1/2 cup coconut oil;
  3. 2 teaspoons of vanilla essence;
  4. And blend all the wet ingredients together with1/2 cup of sugar. (In this instance I also added a bit of left-over yoghurt mixed with water, because the pulp seemed a little bit dry.)
  5. Add 1.5 cups of gluten-free plain flour;
  6. 1 teaspoon of baking powder;
  7. 1 teaspoon of bicarb soda;
  8. 2  heaped teaspoons of cinnamon;
  9. And blend everything together with a fork until smooth. Or with your hands (like I do).
  10. Then take handfuls of the mixture, roll them into balls and evenly distribute them amongst all the muffin-pan holes.

 

Juicer-pulp gluten-free carrot muffins

 

Place the tray in the oven for about 40 minutes. When ready pull them out, and enjoy! These are definitely best when shared.

 

juicer-pulp gluten-free carrot muffins

 

Even though baking doesn’t take the sadness away, there is a beautiful process that happens when creating and making things with love, for other people to enjoy. It’s a time to sink within, and allow my hands to be busy, get dirty and my mind to just be still. I get to experience the sensory pleasures of life, without having to make sense of them or explain my sadness.

 

juicer-pulp gluten-free carrot muffins

 

5 Favourite rituals to create sacred spaces between one moment and the next.

5 Favourite Rituals

 

Rituals are the sacred spaces between one moment and the next. They bring a formal acknowledgement of what was, what is, and what might be.

 

Rituals bridge the gap between your inner and outer worlds — your spirit and your body — unifying them into tangible experiences. They place a gentle line of separation from one thing to the next as you move through life.

 

You don’t need crystals, incantations or spells in order to live a life filled with magic and ritual. The magic of rituals occur through the alchemist’s (that’s you!), ability to change one experience for another; negative to positive, fear to love, lead to gold. If this is a new concept to you, I strongly recommend reading Paulo Coehlo’s The Alchemist.

 

I have been using really simple, little rituals in my life, to transform the energy around me and what I am feeling, for years now. I do it because I know that when I create a higher vibration for myself, I experience and enjoy a more abundant, beautiful, happy, loving reality. There are many tiny little rituals you can do, to change your energy field and clear it, throughout the day.

 

Learning to be aware of energies, and use rituals to transform them, let go and release them, is one of the most valuable practices you will ever know.

 

Here are 5 of my favourite rituals to create sacred spaces between one moment and the next.

 
 

1. Doorways.

 

Doorways can be used as a portal from one experience to another. Sometimes if I’ve just had a challenging experience or feel a heavy energy in a room (from someone or something else) I’ll use a doorway to release it. As I walk into the doorway I’ll be aware of that energy, and as I walk through it I gently focus my mind on releasing it to its rightful owner and letting it go. When I come out on the other side of the door, I am free from anything burdening me, and any negative thoughts that before were plaguing me.

 
 

2. Shake it off.

 

I like to ‘shake it off’ when I’ve just had an experience that feels uncomfortable, unsafe, or wildly outside of my normal. This includes seeing dead people or animals (it sometimes makes my skin crawl — I think I can feel them), noisy, aggressive spaces, or when I see people physically, emotionally or verbally fight. These kinds of experiences create, an energy, a static, that glues itself to people, known by spiritual author Eckhart Tolle as “the pain body”. We have a choice to either absorb it or transmute it. In these situations I will literally, gently shake my arms, legs and body, to share that energy off me. This ritual is also useful after giving someone a massage, if a heavy feeling or energy has come over you, that is clearly not yours. It’s probably to theirs either, but something that has clung to them. Just shake it off.

 
 
3. Showers.
 
Apart from the fact that I’m quite obsessed with showering — I really love it — it’s also my favourite releasing ritual. I use showers as a physical way of washing the energy of the day off my body, so that I am clean and clear of any residual notions from the day gone past. Whether its been a great day, or a less-than-good day, I wash away everything, by thinking of all the days happenings while I stand under the warm stream, and imagine everything just sliding right off me, and into the drain. Through this ritual, I wash away everything that has been said, all the experiences that I’ve had, and simply just let go. This way, I go to bed refreshed not only in body, but also spirit and mind, ready to relax, recuperate and allow my body to recharge for a new day.
 
 

4. Journaling.

 

This ritual is best for when your head won’t get off the carousel and keeps going around, and around, and around on the same subject matter. Write it out. Write all those thoughts, ideas, beliefs, fears, hopes and dreams into your journal, and let them go. Holding onto stagnant, repetitive ideas, means that you are blocking the flow for a solution to find you, or for even better, amazing miracles to transpire. When we stay in our heads, we limit our ability to perceive and receive. It literally closes our hearts to better things. Releasing those thoughts in a healthy way, creates space and opens your with back up again, without feeling like you have lost anything. Because the words, and thoughts are kept safe right there, in your writing. Journaling gives clarity and helps us let go.

 
 

5. Incense. 

 

Incense is really helpful and useful for changing the energy of a physical space. Though cleaning a room/house/space is also a really effective ritual to change the energy of a space, today I am sticking with the lazy-girls-guide to rituals! I burn incense whenever I feel that there are changes going on in my life. Incense removes the energy from the past, and creates space for the future. I also often use it when I move into a new place, am about to move out, and am packing my life up. (Which, for me, is often.) It clears the energy that once was there, and allows something new to be manifested in that space. It’s a form of cleansing that allows you to physically transform the energy of the space that you are in.

 
 

Rituals are really fun and effective ways to be an alchemist of your own environment and life experience. They aren’t weird, creepy or limited to witches only. They are simply about the awareness of the energy around us, the things that we cannot see, yet that move in, out and through us on a daily basis. When we harness this awareness, we become empowered. If you’d love to know more about rituals, check out my Gypset Guide to Releasing Rituals 7 Day program. It’s great for letting go of big things that you’ve holding onto for far too long.

 
 

 

6 Transformative things I have learnt about life from my mother.

Vienda picking mandarins.

 

I’m feeling quite sentimental and nostalgic this morning. It’s been almost a year since I left India, and came to Australia. Back then, my intention was to just stay for 3 months, spend time with my family, and then continue on elsewhere. But, as life has it, that’s not what happened.

 

One of the main reasons I came to Australia, was because I felt an overwhelming need to spend time with my mother. I am getting older. She is getting older. The opportunity to spend quality time together and to make peace with our tumultuous past was too valuable to ignore. And even when it’s scary, I always listen to my inner guidance. I know that there is something to this, even if it doesn’t make logical and intellectual sense.

 

The family issues that I had come to heal, and especially mother-line wounds, ran deeper than I had first suspected, and 3 months wasn’t enough time to unravel and resolve this threads that were tying me in knots. Things happened. Words were said. Feelings were felt. And things didn’t go the way I had imagined or hoped that they would. On the outside, they went much, much worse. But on the inside, what happened was exactly what I needed, to set me free. (The exact story of what happened will be told. One day.)

 

And as I look back at this incredible challenging time that I faced last year, I am grateful. Because, inadvertently, throughout the years of what has been a dysfunctional relationship, there are many transformative things that I have learnt about life from my mother. Today, I will share with you 6 of them.

 

 

6 Transformative things I have learnt about life from my mother.

 

1. Acceptance is paramount for a happy, fulfilling life.

I spent most of my childhood believing that my mother was pretty much perfect. She was one of those self-righteous parents who believed that she knew it all. And I believed her. Until I grew up, and realised that there is no such thing as one way to be, or do things.

She often complained and was sad that she didn’t feel accepted by others, when in truth, this experience was simply a reflection of her own non-acceptance of others. Her attitude was derived from a sense that her beliefs, actions, or affiliations are of greater virtue than those of the average person. Self-righteous individuals are often intolerant of the opinions and behaviors of others.

What I learned from this, is to remain open-hearted and accepting of the myriad ways that life can be lived, seen and perceived. There is no wrong or right way. There is simply the path that we each choose.

 

 

2. Mother’s (or anyone, really) are wounded children too.

For so many of us, we can look into our past, and see how the interactions and relationships with our parents formed so much of who are, and who we have become. As adults we have the opportunity to review these beliefs and habits we have learned, and choose to let the ones go, that no longer serve us, or the direction we are growing in. This is a really valuable time because we have an incredibly empowering choice to make:

Take responsibility for ourselves, who are, and who we will become.

OR

Blame our parents for the (mostly innocent) choices they made, and not do anything to change.

We are all wounded children. Including our mothers. My own mother, in her late 50’s still woes the fact that she didn’t receive love from her own mother in the way that she wanted to be loved. It saddens her deeply. She is so deeply wounded by this concept that there is a lack of love in her life, that she cannot feel or experience the love that she has in her life, now.

What I have learned from this, is that it’s really important to heal our wounds, so we can be fully present, and enjoy life as it actually is now, instead of through a filter of what we once believed was true. I have also learned to have and hold great compassion, as this pain she feels is very real for her, even though it also a choice.

 

 

3. Pain is an addiction.

We all have our ‘things’. Our own personal addictions. They come in many, many forms. Another way of viewing addictions is: the level of Being, or experience that feels comfortable and normal to you, but is in fact, destructive on some level. Creating and causing pain is one form of addiction. Deepak Chopra says that the addiction to pain is rooted in the beliefs and motivations that give it justice.

My mother has, sadly, experienced a tremendous amount of pain in her life. From her stories, it sounds like her childhood was filled with painful, hurtful, horrible experiences which left her feeling rejected, unwanted, and like she didn’t belong. Unless we heal them, we tend to repeat the patterns that we learn in childhood, forever, and so, for her, feeling pain is her normal. In fact, when she isn’t feeling painful experiences in her life, she will go out and unwittingly create some, so she can return to her level of comfort, which is pain.

What I learned is that it’s invaluable to look at our own addictions, and clear the way, for a better, sweeter, kinder life. We all have them, and it’s up to us to release them.

 

 

4. Without awareness, patterns repeat themselves.

As I mentioned above, pain was a pattern that, for my mother, then became an addiction. Our patterns are the things that we subconsciously learn in life, and that then continuously repeat themselves until we decide to unlearn them. Some patterns are good. Some patterns are destructive.

For my mother, the patterns were around feeling unwanted, judged and rejected. That’s what she experienced as a child, and then, has continued to experience throughout her adult life. She consistently attracts experiences into her life that match those negative patterns, meaning that, over and over again, in different situations and with different people, she feels unwanted, judged and rejected. (Including with me.)

From this, I learned that our patterns can be examined and changed, as long as we are willing to do the inner work. Luckily, and gratefully, I’ve cleared those patterns from my own life many years ago, but it took self-awareness, willingness to change, and a level of curiosity to clear them.

 

 

5. Being a victim is a choice.

Based on her life experiences, my mother feels like so many people have done her wrong, and that she is a victim. I get that. But I don’t agree. You see, this is what I believe:

If we want our lives to change, we have to change.

As long as we remain in the victim mentality we are giving our power away to all the people in the world, who could possibly do wrong with us. When we choose to be empowered, we get clear on our ability to create our experiences, by cleaning up our thoughts and beliefs, getting clear on our boundaries, and most importantly, treating ourselves in the ways that we wish to be treated. No one can treat you in any way, unless you let them. While she might struggle with this concept, especially because it confronts her addiction to pain, being a victim is her choice.

Through being an avid observer and student, I learned that we always have a choice in every moment. Being a victim is one choice. Being self-aware and empowered is another. I know which one I prefer.

 

 

6. You get more of what you focus on.

My mother’s days are filled with the sadness of the pain that she has experienced in her life. She focuses so closely on this pain, that it engulfs her entire world and Being. As a daughter, this hurts, because no-one wants to see their loved ones suffer, be it emotional pain, or physical. (And often, unresolved emotional pain — eventually turns into physical pain.) My mother focuses on that pain so succinctly that she creates more of it. Pain in her relationships with all of her family members, in her friendships and with her intimate partners. It’s really, really sad.

This has taught me, that you always experience more of what you focus on. When you focus on love, on joy, on happiness, on peace, on the way that people uplift and support you, you get more of that. When you focus on the hurt and pain, you get more of that, too.

 

My mother has been such great teacher for me and I am very grateful for that. We might not have the sweet, loving mother-daughter relationship that Hollywood films are made up of, but there is definitely a deep love there, and I don’t think our relationship could be more perfect. It teaches us both, exactly what we need, in exactly the right moments. And it gives us a platform to grow, evolve and truly break free from the paradigms of limitation, by allowing us to examine life from a perspective of how it comes together, in the building blocks of beliefs, mindsets and reflected experiences.

 

Having gone through this journey of healing my own mother-line (and father-line — but that’s a story for another time) I am able to help others on their path, do the same. Because this is what sets us free. Being really honest, aware, compassionate and open to change has helped me shoot for the stars and live a life that, for many, only dreams are made of. I have examined the limitations that have been mirrored so beautifully to me by my mother and used this mirror to heal myself and my life. And as I have changed, my life experiences have changed. Life continues to open up, to blossom, to become sweeter and more beautiful, as I continue down this journey of unraveling and unlearning the beliefs, ideas, thoughts and patterns that hold me back, contract me, and stop me from being what we all truly are: limitless.

 

Soul Plan ::: Do you want to feel… powerful?

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Soul Plan. Do you want to feel… powerful?

This is dedicated to:

The thinkers, the creators, the courageous and the spirited people of the world.

 
SOUL PLAN. A new generation of powerful future-mapping and planning. Registration closes tomorrow.
 
Having awkwardly muddled my way through the first two years of running a heart and soul-driven business, I have somehow, managed to figure out a way, where I can carve a path that allows me to do things my way. In way that is fun and easy. The gypset way.
 
Those of you who have been striding alongside me through that time, would know that gypset is an amalgamation of gypsy and Jetset which refers to an emerging group of creative thinkers who are ditching constrictive society. We are people who want to be free to live, do business and make unconventional choices, on their own terms. Mostly, it’s about having freedom.
 
And the most fascinating thing that I have discovered on this journey, is that, even the greatest freedom requires some parameters. Some structure. Otherwise, there is no contrast. Nothing to compare the freedom that you have, to. And no way of being clear that you are, actually, doing things your own way.
 
And the other thing that I have learnt, is that the reason I crave this freedom, is because it makes me feel powerful. I like the idea that I am the creator of my own Universe. Of my life experience. So, when I break it down:
 
 
Power is… confidence and freedom.

You feel most powerful when you have BIG dreams, and then actually go ahead and achieve them.

You feel powerful through knowledge. Gaining knowledge of oneself, and the world around you.

You are most powerful when you allow yourself to be who you are. And take focused action from that place of power.

That sense of power is instilled even more deeply, when you know exactly how you are going to move forward with your hopes, ideas and dreams.

You are only ever yourself, so when you empower that, and be that fully, is when you feel most free.

You can do this.

You don’t have to live in fear of making mistakes, and not getting it quite right, or worse, not giving it a go at all.

I’d love to help you.
 
 

This is why I am so excited about this brand new Beta coaching program titled SOUL PLAN.

3 months: May, June, July 2015.

3 x 2 hour intimate coaching calls on how to connect with your intuition, change your habits and attitudes about the life you are creating, get focused and do what you say you want to do.

Because I’m still testing this program out, I’d like to invite you to register for Soul Plan for $300 per month (saving you over $500) to the first 10 inspired folk, who feel called to join me for this program.

This is the last structured coaching program I will be offering until September 2015. And maybe this year.
 
To learn more about Soul Plan and register, go here, or schedule your first Soul Plan call straight away, here.

Registration closes tomorrow, Friday 24 April.
 
Tune in to your intuition and explore whether this program is the right fit for you.

Remember, the way I work is all about intuition. So always listen to that. I know I do.

And if you can’t quite tell the difference between intuition and fear, I’ll let you in on a secret, that I teach all of my clients: Intuition is the voice that gently whispers a single, simple message. It doesn’t have to explain itself because it always speaks truth. Whereas fear, has a much more nagging, persistent voice, with 1-million-and-1 reasons why it is right, and why you should listen to it.

Simple, right?!

 

Image from Free People.

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