“You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy.” ~ Unknown
Last week I posted about the fear of being or becoming fat actually being the fear of being unloveable, undesirable, unworthy and simply not good enough. And I promised to elaborate on that.
It is my understanding, from what I have observed, experienced and learnt about life so far, that all negative, unhappy, unkind, insensitive, thoughts, words and actions stem from a lack of love. And in order to create more love in our lives, firstly we must start with loving ourselves.
I love the term radical self love, which I believe was coined by Gala Darling, as it so eloquently encompasses exactly what we must feel for ourselves. Radical self love is knowing, understanding and accepting oneself fully. It means that we allow ourselves to be exactly who we are, reverie in it even, we support ourselves without question and stop criticising ourselves. We stop the banal chatter in our minds and drop the beliefs that we are undeserving, unloveable or unworthy of all the good we would like in our lives.
Radical self love means that you know that, by the mere fact that you exist, you are worthy of love, of success, of wealth, of friendship, of beauty, of safety, of fun, of anything and everything that you dream of, are and aspire to be……..
Why is self love so important? Because what you feel, think and believe about yourself is exactly what you get. If you think you are wonderful, unique and deserving of the best, that is what you will get. If you believe that you are unworthy, unlucky and always finish last, then that is what you will get.
What is it that you want?
Countless books have been written on this topic and the one that I continuously recommend is by Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life. Not only does Louise tenaciously illustrate how and why radical self love is so important, she also gives an entire step-by-step guideline on how to change your thoughts and belief patterns. One of my favourite parts of her book no less is the back pages which explain common physical ailments that are reflected and can be changed by our thought processes.
Not only is self love important as a realm of creating your own universe, it is important in the relationships you create with others. No one will ever be able love you more than you love yourself, so you must love yourself first in order to be able to let others love you. And the more you love yourself, the easier it is to love others. Suddenly your world opens up into a myriad of magic and compassion, and anything and everything becomes possible for you.
“I tell you, the more I think, the more I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.” ~Vincent van Gogh.
The best way I can think of how to describe how to practice self love is to treat yourself as you would your best friend. Somehow, somewhere, we have learnt to put ourselves last, to put up with less than what we would like or expect. So start pretending you are someone external to yourself, someone you truly love and admire, and treat yourself as so. Would you allow your best friend to stay in relationship that is obviously detrimental to them? No! Would you allow your best friend to behave in ways that makes them sick, sad, tired or unhealthy? No! Would you allow your best friend to be in situations or with people that made them feel bad? NO!! So why would you allow those things in your life?
Now is the perfect time to make those changes, every day show yourself how much you love yourself, by protecting yourself, nourishing yourself, pampering yourself and giving yourself the best that you can. Start thinking positive thoughts about yourself and your body, compliment yourself and watch in awe how the world around you begins to change to reflect your new perspective. This is your new life.