I’m sitting on my bed, in my favorite working position – child’s pose – my hands resting over the keyboard, as I write a response to an email topic that enters my mailbox ever so often.
The beautiful souls I work with, usually come to me at a turning point – after a break-up; when they want to take a big leap; upon embarking on a journey; wanting to create a new career that fulfills them both soulfully and financially, and so on.
And the big thing that holds them back from all of this is often fear.
FEELING THE FEAR
The email often goes something like this:
“I’m stuck!! I want to take a big step, but am very aware that throwing it all out there to the universe also puts my family (finances) at risk. I worry what people (ok, my mum) will think. I feel like I don’t have the right or the luxury of taking a risk in order to please myself, but I’m also not happy, I’m tired, I feel bleh and I know something needs to change.
So the million dollar question is – what to do….?”
Such an excellent, excellent question! Here’s my answer:
It’s sounds like you’re stuck in the FEAR section of your life right now.
You’re stuck at the precipice of feeling this massive discomfort, looking back at the comfortable and familiar, and taking a step forward into the unknown.
This is where we get to make insurmountable leaps and bounds forwards and overcome the fears. By getting to know what fear is, you disempower it: you get friendly with your devil.
So let’s reframe fear, into something tangible, something useful:
Fear is simply a sensation of discomfort.
It is also the gateway to your success, to your dreams, to your own version of reality.
Every time you do something different, every time you deviate from your normal choices and routine, every time you break a habit or end a pattern your brain cries “Stop! this doesn’t feel right! Don’t do it!”
DO. NOT. LISTEN.
The only way to overcome fear is simply this: You’ve got to be willing to be uncomfortable.
Discomfort (fear) is an automatic response to anything that’s out of the ordinary.
The ability to tolerate discomfort is absolutely essential to go to the next level in any area of your life.
Anxiety, fear, worry, excuses, nervousness, resistance… All these are normal reactions to new situations. It does not mean something is wrong. It means something is different.
It actually means you’re doing something RIGHT. That you’re on the right path to fulfilling your dreams and embracing the infinite possibilities that the Universe has available to you. It means you are starting to embody you full potential.
And it takes an absolute commitment from your part >> wanting the results of this badly enough >> that you will open this door, saunter right past the fears in your pretty little moccasins, or stilettos, or biker boots, and be amply rewarded with the magic that lies on the other side.
I know it’s scary. But you’ve got two choices:
1. Stay stuck. Keep doing the same old thing.
2. Take the risk. And move forward.
It’s not easy, it’s IS very uncomfortable and confronting. But it is absolutely worth it.
P.S. Just so you know, I get scared all the time! The only difference is, I don’t mind taking risks and being uncomfortable. It means I need to face my limited beliefs, do the inner work, change, grow and then life shows up at a whole new shiny level! Because experience has shown me that it’s so very worth it!
P.P.S. ‘I don’t have the right/luxury’ screams feeling unworthy. YOU are important. You have very special gifts to give to the world. Maybe it’s time to put yourself first and tend that beautiful flower bud that you are, so you can blossom.
P.P.P.S. I love you.
DOING THE INNER WORK
And then she wrote back:
“Thank you so much. Reading this yesterday I felt a weight lift off me, I felt lighter. I smiled. I enjoyed my boys after I picked them up from daycare. For a moment, for quite a few moments, I believed in me.
And then today I came back down with a thud. The lesson? Keep reading your message over and over and over until it sinks in. Every morning. Every day. You are incredible. Amazing. And your kindness and love is humbling. Thank you for being there for me. xox”
RESULTS SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES
And guess what? Two and a half months later, I received the following message:
“Hello gorgeous one. Guess what? I resigned, woohoo! Thank you a million times for your wise words and helping me believe in myself.”
Yep. Getting familiar with your fears works. Keep going. Believe that you can do it, that you ARE worth it, despite feeling stuck and being afraid. It’s just part if the journey.