Many of us believe that in order to have freedom in our lives, we have to give up some of our comforts; some of the things that we really quite like.
Often, it goes like this.
I am free to (because I really want to):
+ travel, but I’ll have to give up my career/house/family.
+ be spontaneous, but people won’t take me seriously, and will think that I’m some happy-go-lucky flake.
+ have a baby, but not without a partner.
+ start my own business, but I’ll have to give up financial security.
+ save lots of money, but it means that I’ll be missing out on all the fun stuff.
+ be very successful, but I’ll have to work really hard, and become one of those cranky, power-hungry women without kids, a partner or an ounce of sweetness.
+ be my authentic self, and speak my truth, but I won’t be loved and accepted.
+ move to another town/state/country, but I’ll loose my friends and my family will be pissed.
+ go for my dreams but I’ll have to give up security and stability.
I know. I used to believe things like:
+ In order to be financially free and independent, I’d have to marry someone with money.
+ To be successful in my business, I would have to stop traveling, and instead, create a solid base.
+ For people to love and accept me, I’d have to stop my gypsetting ways, and be much more conservative.
I had so many limiting beliefs on why I couldn’t be free to live my life the way that I truly wanted it to. And when I allowed myself to glimpse my fantastic dream of how I actually wanted my life to look like, I would imagine doing it all all at once, and felt completely overwhelmed.
But over time, I figure out 3 very simple ways to have waaaay more freedom, without giving it all up. (Or going into overwhelm.)
1. Replace the BUT, with AND.
All big dreams of creating a life filled with freedom, start seeming impossible. As long as you allow the word ‘but’ to stay in the way of taking the next steps, we can never overcome our limited beliefs that
Pay attention to your language and start replacing but, with and. And then figure it out from there.
I am going to travel and find ways to keep my career moving forward, make my house a useful asset, and involve my family, so we are all happy.
Then do exactly that!
2. Say NO!
We have been conditioned to say yes to almost everything, before even checking in and making sure it’s right for us. Our parents taught us from an early age, to do as they say, in order to make them happy, and be good children. It’s not healthy, supportive nor of service to you, to spend your precious time and life, on other people’s requests. So I’s like you to integrate a new rule, a rule that creates freedom, into your life:
If it’s not a hell yes! in the first instance, it’s a NO!
Don’t let your conditioning take over here, feel it in your gut. When someone asks you to do something are invites you somewhere or suggests and opportunity to you, unless you get butterflies in your tummy, and little ripple of excitement rising up in your chest, and you feel so good about it, politely and kindly say NO.
3. Say YES!
This is a different kind of yes. This is about saying yes to those things that scare the sh*t out of you. It’s saying yes to big leaps, wild dreams, the vast unknown and trying things that you’ve mostly left to be fantasised in your imagination.
Freedom is taking risks. It’s saying “fu*k it!”and going for it. Despite the fear.
Start saying yes, to those things that you’ve been holding back from. If you want way more freedom in your life, you don’t have to give it all up. You just have to say yes, to more imaginative, out-of-the-box solutions. And go for it!
I know, from personal experience, that it’s absolutely possible to live a life of freedom and have all the comforts of life. I have a successful location independent business, I live in beautiful homes wherever I go (no hotel rooms for me!), I have a healthy, thriving relationship that supports my choices and lifestyle, and I have created a supportive network of folk around me that are aways reaching for the stars. Having freedom doesn’t mean having to give up on anything you want. It simply means rearranging your thought patterns and belief systems to embrace all the odds. And of course every dream conceivable.
Image taken in Costa Rica in 2013.