Wandering is the activity of the child, the passion of the genius; it is the discovery of the self, the discovery of the outside world, and the learning of how the self is both “at one with” and “separate from” the outside world. These discoveries are as fundamental to the soul as “learning to survive” is fundamental to the body. These discoveries are essential to realizing what it means to be human. To wander is to be alive.” ― Roman Payne
Did you know, that the reason why women are so good at traveling alone, is because they know how to listen to their intuitions? We know how to allow that internal instinct to guide us, to warn us when there is danger, to propel us forward to our next inexplicable adventure.
In a little over a month, I’m leaving Byron Bay, on a new adventure: Bali. And for the very first month of that adventure, I’m going on my own. Completely and totally solo.
Wandering this spectacular globe alone, is one of the most liberating things that anyone can ever do. Doing it as a woman, even more so.
I cannot wait to embrace the world with open arms, all on my own, again. To feel the winds of change and respond to them, to feel the soft caress of the sun on my skin, and follow it whim-fully, to meet strangers and smile, curiously discovering their universe through their words — all of which happens so differently — when we are intertwined into the lives and arms of another.
It is less a desire to be away from my most beloved people and places — but more a desire to feel the contrast. I love and know the warm, familiar embraces, the voices, the tones, the stories, the shadows of the trees, the sound the wind makes around the corners of our home, the chickens clucking and rushing over greedily with hope for treats, the smell that is unique to where I find myself right now. But for all those things to hold meaning, I need to feel the contrast of something else to compare them to.
And that contrast comes with experiencing something new. All by myself. With my intuition as my soulful guide. Which is why I wanted to share with you this: My best #gypset tips for solo world-wanders. (And wanderers.)
What that means, is to let everything go as much as possible, so you can be truly free. Expectations from others, relationships, clothes, work, books, projects.
Tell the people who you love, that you love them, and you will see them again, on the other side of this. Tell them that no news is good news. And even though they might not hear from you as much as they’d like to, that they are in your thoughts and in your heart every moment of every day.
Give yourself as little as possible to do, or to take with you, on your wanders, to open yourself up to wonders. Make space in your world and in your life, for the unexpected, and unexplored.
Only take your very favourite and most practical clothes. As in the ones that you feel sexiest in, and yet could still serve you well, if you were to be stranded in some exotic location for more than a day. Leave everything else behind. Especially your hairdryer. You look beautiful with wild, windswept hair.
Heal your hurts.
Anyone who has ever gone traveling after a break-up can attest to the powerful capacity that wandering has to healing your hurts.
The reason why this works so well, is because when we spend enough time alone, being introspective and observant, we become aware of the bigger picture. We can step away from the wall of emotional responses, and that space, allows our hearts to unfurl, to open, and remember: that all there is, is love. And that nothing lasts, but nothing is lost.
Solo-wanders are the cure for all heart-breaks, family feuds, career mishaps and general life-maraudery. They provide that breath of air that we all require when the walls have closed in too tight.
There is a new level of confidence and self-assurance that comes with solo-wanders. You learn to trust your intuition and decisions unquestioningly, even though you don’t really ever know what the outcome might be. There is no “right” answer. So any answer that you choose has to be right.
By consistently backing yourself, you build a level of love and trust with yourself, that is uncommon and sadly, rare. Which means that, whatever you do in your life, and wherever you do it, you know without question, that you are always making the best decision you possibly can, with the information that you have, in each and every moment. And that, my sweet-lipped friends, is a very, very beautiful thing.
I remember when I first arrived in India, all on my own, 7 years ago. I was terrified. I wanted to be there. But I was terrified. It took me 3 weeks to feel my way into this extravagantly contrasting culture. And then I stayed for 4 months.
Once I tasted it, I couldn’t get enough of it. Because I discovered one part of myself that I had not known before: that I was strong. I could sternly tell any Indian man who was peering a bit too closely to mind his own business. I could haggle my way to the best price for pretty much anything. And I knew what I wanted and how to ask for it. Something that took me a few months in India to learn.
The girl who arrived, was not the girl who left. The girl who left, was stronger. She knew what she wanted. And she knew how to ask for it.
Learn to love.
There is a love far more powerful, far-reaching and potent than the more commonly thought-of romantic love, that has been castrated by television and media. That love is the glue that holds our entire planet together. It is “to love” – the action verb.
Learning to love means that you learn to love your body — you take care of it. To love your mind — you cultivate it with things that help it grow. To love others — which result in being of service. To love your work — doing something with soul — passionately and enthusiastically. To love your feelings — respecting and honouring the messages that they give you. And so on.
When you bring this universal principle into every area of your life, alignment occurs. And you begin to feel a sense of unity, and fulfilment in everything that you do.
And all that solo-travel? Is teaching you exactly that. How to be whole, fulfilled, happy and in-love. Without needing anything or anyone else.
Want more of that? Join me for the Gypset Adventure, starting July 1 2015.