It’s a nauseating feeling: reaching the end of another year, and realising that you’ve done everything other than what you had intended to do.
Only to realise that, while you may have veered right off the path you originally set out on, you’ve encountering exactly what you needed to.
I’ve been feeling a little bit this way, lately. It’s not the most comfortable feeling. It requires a lot of gentle compassion.
It’s been an interesting year.
I’ve been tested, taught, and have celebrated tribulations.
I think that, sometimes, because I so openly and vulnerably, share my message and stories, that some people might get the impression that I’ve got it all figured out. Allow me to burst that bubble.
Confession: I haven’t got it all figured out.
I’m learning, every day, how to do life better.
I’m making it all up as I go along. Just like everyone else.
My life is far from “perfect’. It’s not without its challenges, its ups and downs, its mistakes, its traumas, its tears and its blurry Instagram images. It is, however, perfect for me.
The truth is, this year burnt me out a little bit.
I tried to do everything; all at once. Build and maintain a personal development business, be über-creative, nurture a new relationship, move and travel every few months (while running said business), maintain important friendships with quality time, educate myself, practice yoga consistently, take care of my body in all the ways, show up for others whenever they needed me, lots of change, expansion and growth — all the time, and my own spiritual evolution that has thrown me sideways while I find a balance between surrender, trust, action, femininity and truth.
This year has not been “easy”. But it’s been so “right”.
It has been exactly what I needed: over-flowingly-full with beauty, love, friendship, gratitude, lessons and life experience. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I’ve discovered that my secret of making it all work is that I trust and surrender.
I have absolutely no idea what’s going to happen next, but I trust implicitly in the unknown and surrender to it. I do it, because when I don’t life is really, really hard, and uncomfortable for me.
It is only ever with hindsight that I see the clear pathways I have been taken on to reach the desired destinations of my heart and soul. And yet, truly arriving, never happens. It’s more like a passing through.
One that I intend to transition through with as much grace and ease as I can, because this is what life is made up of. Continuous transitional moments from one to the next. Never stopping. Never standing still. Sometimes slow and sometimes fast.
That’s the beauty of life. You don’t have to have it all figured out, to move forward.
Still trying to “get it right”?
Maybe, just maybe, stop trying. Maybe this is as right as it needs to be, right now.