It’s Wednesday evening and I’m sitting in bed.
We are almost at the end of the month and as I look back over the past days and weeks, I recognise how surreal and bizarre they have been. It already feels like a dream, and like I’ve almost forgotten.
I thought a lot about freedom. The freedom that happens when you stop holding back. How, when I dedicated myself to freedom, at the tender and naive age of 23, I discovered that life wasn’t really how they said it was going to be. And the cost for freedom. A cost that at times seems almost unbearable.
Those first two weeks of April I felt so light, inspired, unstoppable. What was it that made those days so fun and free and easy?
Compared to the second two weeks of April, where the days and my body felt flat, like a heavy fog was pushing me down and telling me to stay low. Why were my energy levels so distinctly different from week to week?
The way I see it, I have been given a lesson in practicing what I preach. To listen. To trust. To let go.
Many days, too many days — unfavourable to me having a productive month — like I had envisioned for myself. Instead of getting stuff done, I touched depths of my internal world and life experience, that I have previously only hoped for.
It feels like a coming home.
After years of grappling with pragmatic stuff, something has started opening up and I am able to relax into things more. Practical things like my work, money, time, what other people think, how to do things ‘right’, and whether or not someone finds me agreeable, have stopped troubling me so. Instead, I feel an incredible depth of trust, and a sense of wonder and curiosity.
A new kind of effervescence is beginning to weave its way into my life.
The more that I live, the more that I see the signs of magic everywhere. Magic that can only be experienced through devoted observation and being open to not knowing, and not understanding. Just trusting.
On New Years day this year, I wrote on a piece of paper what I really wished I had access to, in the world. I wish I kept that piece of paper. What I do remember however, was that it held the very first pieces of longing towards a creative community where spirituality and freedom were grounded into experiential and applied concepts and exercises. Where the ‘spirit’ world is bridged with the ‘real’ world.
The more I connect with my intuitive wisdom, the more I reaffirm that the truth, and the course to happiness; to freedom; to fulfilment and excitement, is truly simple and easy.
Just this morning, I was thinking about all the complicated tools and strategies that we have fabricated, to create positive change in our lives. As if each time we want to change, we have to undertake a grim emotional surgery. As if we are so resistant and stiff and vapid.
I don’t think it needs to be so hard. I think it could actually be really easy. And I also think that we can only do it together, as a tribe, as a community. Woven together through our intrinsic attraction to that which uplifts us and holds us to our integrity. A common desire to rise.
I looked. But the words and dreams I wrote of that New Years day, didn’t exist yet. So I decided to create it.
All my creations start with questions.
What experience am I designing here? Why does the world need this? How can it evolve into something that brings the highest good to everyone immersed in it?
Most of the answers came easily.
They want freedom, just as much as I want freedom. They want to taste it on their blood and feel it course through their veins. And I know there are others, so many others, who want to be a part of a compelling movement that allows them to choose freedom — and change their life’s pathway — in a space that is safe and nurturing and supportive.
The last question however, took some time to answer.
Six weeks ago, I wrote in my journal. I wrote about how I had the structure of this creation down, but I had no idea how to share it with the world. The conventional ways of sharing a product and service didn’t feel right. Not this time. I didn’t want to hawk and push and peddle this thing out in the market place.
This thing is… different. Special. It has a life of its own. I don’t even really know how it’s going to unfold each month. All I have is the basic structure and a strong calling from somewhere deep within me to create this place; this space. For me and for you.
Hours after writing in my journal, I stumbled upon an article. Through this article I divined my answer.
I would give the power back to the people. Instead of creating a program with a price tag, I will let those who feel drawn to be a part of this movement, choose what they wanted to invest in it. In themselves.
This is my very first foray into Pay What You Want pricing. As unconventional as this is, I want my pricing to boldly represent my message of freedom. In this particular circumstance, the freedom to choose the right price for you.
As I sit here in bed tonight, with just 3 days until I release this beautiful project out into the world, I wonder how it will grow, evolve and unfold in the coming weeks, months and years. Trusting that it is becoming something bigger than I can hold on my own, and that will grow beyond my imagination. I know that soon, it will no longer be mine. But rather, ours.
A collective creation for the free-spirited.
Gently, calmly, it is coming out into the world.