I am sitting, waiting for the words to come.
Today is dedicated to words. I don’t have client calls. I get to spend the whole day writing. It’s one of my favourite things in life. Sitting at my desk, lounging across a sofa, sitting on the floor, nursing endless cups of tea, moving from one project to another, and back again. Allowing the words to quell up inside me and the flow.
It’s grey and rainy and dreary outside. Moody. Exactly the way I like it when I’m sitting, connecting with words.
Change is the only constant, I wrote in an Instagram post the other day. And it seems that change is literally a constant companion. At the beginning of the year I said that things were changing. I don’t think I quite realised the impact of that intention. Since then, everything has been changing: my writing, what I create and how, my relationships with friends and my lover, my clients, the way that I make choices and do life.
Recently everything has been nudging me to look inwards for these next few weeks and months. Slowing down has become high in my priorities.
Often I catch myself, restlessly searching for something to do, something to add to my burgeoning ‘to do’ list, the list that never truly ends or is finished. And in those moments I know I most need to pull back, return to stillness and feel, instead of do.
It feels counterintuitive. It’s exactly the opposite of what the media and cultural demands would have us do and believe. And yet, I know that if I want the changes that I have been calling in to take place, I have to get comfortable with feeling in limbo between perceived expectations and the subtle calls of a richer, deeper, alternative world.
Learning to slow down is part of the change that I have been calling in around being more connected, feeling more ease, and bringing even more trust, intuition and divine guidance into my daily life and work. It means that I take on less, and trust that I am enough. That what I do, and create and believe is worthy of the life that I want for myself.
What is that life that I want? I often ask myself.
The older I get, the simpler it is: adventure, love, creativity, connection, beauty, freedom, expansion and growth.
I want to make amazing things with rad people who have a positive impact in the world, both big and small. From recycling my egg cartons to transformational turning points with my clients. I want to feel alive, which means learning and doing new things, exploring unexplored places, feeling grateful for everything in the world. I want to have choices, to make what I want with my everyday. I want to inspire, and be inspired by free-thinkers, free-spirits and folk who have chosen unconventional paths. I want to evolve and grow as a human being, simply because it feels so good. I love observing how my vision and understanding of myself and our universe expands year to year, allowing refreshing thoughts and experiences to accumulate. I want to make everything as beautiful as I can. My intention is to leave every place and space and human in the very corner of the world that I touch, a little more beautiful, happy, sparkling, than before.
Learning to slow down, is an aspect of that. Slowness brings with it an appreciation for what is. It brings space and time into the present moment. Slowness leaves no room for habitual reaction and instead makes conscious choices an easy rite. Slowness creates room to breath, to create, to connect. Especially to connect. Not only with those we love, but even more importantly with ourselves.
It also creates space to create.
I’ve been receiving the slow it down lesson from every angle. Two weeks ago I released a free course: Releasing Rituals. Hundreds of folks signed up. And then, two days in, it broke. The course stopped sending, and I received lots of emails from you saying “Hey, where’s my stuff?”. I knew this happened because I released it with too much haste, anxious to get it out into the world, instead of waiting for the perfect moment. More than a week later, the course is still sitting there, not getting sent out, and the program developers can’t figure out why. I’m putting it down to divine timing and mercury retrograde.
Slowness is exactly what living in New Zealand has taught me. And, paradoxically, exactly what I was afraid of before we moved here. That life would become too slow. As it turns out, this has been a good thing. For my heart, my soul, my body and my business. It’s always so amusing to me how I like to think I know what’s best for me, and then the universe surprises me with something much better.
A few days ago, we received the confirmation that it’s time to up and move again. My handsome man has received a 4 month contract working in conservation, further south on the South Island. On the last day of this month we will pack up our car and drive 7 hours south, down to a small town called Timaru. Everyone tells me it’s a dump. I’m sure it’ll bring its own kind of magic. I’m pretty good at manifesting the perfect thing into my experience. Plus, it’s only 4 months.
I’m looking forward to hunkering in for those winter months, down in the cold and snow, and focusing on the clients and creative projects that are filling my heart with love and pride. As I’m taking 4 months off from mid-September, I’m wrapping up my long-term clients over this time, and currently taking on a limited number of 3 month mentoring clients, until I close the doors to working with me in this capacity in mid-June.
The Free-Spirited Collective, that gently landed earth-side less than a week ago, and is welcoming in some of the most beautiful souls I could imagine has captured my desire to bring the changes I am experiencing into tangible formats for you to have in your life too. And The Practical Guide to Connecting to Your Intuition and the Universe 4 week class that is launching in June, which includes emails and 1:1 time with me. This project is exciting with possibilities, autonomy and freedom it will bring to you: focus from seeking external reassurance and validation, to being guided by a much more generous and wise inner wisdom.
I’m also looking forward to doing it all slowly. With plenty of space, time, quality over quantity and integrity.
Photography by Jessica Shirley.