Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray. — RUMI
By the time I was 23, I was very clear on 1 thing: that the conventional way of life is not for me.
What I was absolutely unclear on, was how I was going to do things differently.
It turned out to be ok. Life swept me away in its current for a few years.
Straight after finishing my degree in psychology, I started working for international music festivals — music is my second love next to people — and lived out of a suitcase for 5 years — travel, a third love. I didn’t do anything for that to happen. It just happened because I did the things I loved.
At 27 — tired of events and the circus that is the music festival scene — exhausted by emotionally-stunted DJ’s and producers with cocaine-inflated egos, I was ready to start a new life. But what and how?
I reached for the most effective tool that I have at my disposal 24 hours a day: my journal. I asked myself 3 questions.
Question: What are my highest values in life?*
* See a “how to” guide to selecting your own values below.
Answer: Freedom, connection, presence, creativity, growth and beauty.
Question: What would my life look like if I was living my highest values?
Answer: I would be living near the ocean, waking up naturally and following the inner cues of my being to navigate each day. My work would be helping people and being creative on my own schedule with plenty of time and space to truly be present with myself and those I love. My days would be an expression of my connection to spirit and my choices come from a moment-to-moment alignment with my values.
Question: How can I start doing that, now?
Answer: NFC*
*no fucking clue
Let me be honest with you. At the time I had no idea how to get to where I wanted to go. But what I did have was determination, self-belief, and complete trust that my dreams want me as much as I want them.
I held onto that vision for what my ideal life looked like and began identifying what I wanted my life to feel like. I wanted it to feel fluid, always in movement. I wanted it to feel full of experiences and people that support and uplift each other. I wanted it to be on my own terms as opposed to the terms identified by conventional standards.
And then I asked for guidance from the universe.
Two things became very clear.
1. In order to do things differently, I had to decondition myself from my cultural conditioning and family patterning. I had to start from the inside to create a life that reflected what I wanted on the outside.
2. I had to start leaning into the discomfort of doing things differently and start creating momentum. So I started throwing everything I had out into the world to see what stuck. Step by step, I followed the little intuitive sparks that showed me the way to where I am now. As it turns out, my innate knack for taking words and spinning them into things other people can feel, my love for psychology and travel, and my ability to curate a visually beautiful experience jettisoned into a new life for me.
Now, when people ask me “how to take the first step to start a new way of life” my answer is, ask yourself those same 3 questions, and then allow yourself to be guided by the Universe. Don’t try and control the outcome or the path, but rather, surrender to what is showing up for you, and be willing to go on an adventure.
*VALUES EXERCISE
1. Determine your core values. From the list below, choose and write down every core value that resonates with you. Do not overthink your selections. As you read through the list, simply write down the words that feel like a core value to you personally. If you think of a value you possess that is not on the list, be sure to write it down as well.
2. Group all similar values together from the list of values you just created. Group them in a way that makes sense to you, personally. Create a maximum of five groupings. If you have more than five groupings, drop those least important. For example:
[one_fifth padding=”0 0 0 0px”]Abundance
Growth
Wealth
Security
Freedom
Independence
Flexibility
Peace[/one_fifth] [one_fifth padding=”0 0 0 0px”]Acceptance
Compassion
Inclusiveness
Intuition
Kindness
Love
Making a Difference
Open-Mindedness
Trustworthiness
Relationships[/one_fifth] [one_fifth padding=”0 0 0 0px”]Appreciation
Encouragement
Thankfulness
Thoughtfulness
Mindfulness[/one_fifth] [one_fifth padding=”0 0 0 0px”][Balance
Health
Personal Development
Spirituality
Well-being[/one_fifth] [one_fifth_last padding=”0 0 0 0px”]Cheerfulness
Fun
Happiness
Humor
Inspiration
Joy
Optimism
Playfulness[/one_fifth_last]
3. Choose one word within each grouping that best represents the label for the entire group. Again, do not overthink your labels. There are no right or wrong answers. You are defining the answer that is right for you. See the example below – the label chosen for the grouping is bolded.
[one_fifth padding=”0 0 0 0px”]Abundance
Growth
Wealth
Security
Freedom
Independence
Flexibility
Peace[/one_fifth] [one_fifth padding=”0 0 0 0px”]Acceptance
Compassion
Inclusiveness
Intuition
Kindness
Love
Making a Difference
Open-Mindedness
Trustworthiness
Relationships[/one_fifth] [one_fifth padding=”0 0 0 0px”]Appreciation
Encouragement
Thankfulness
Thoughtfulness
Mindfulness[/one_fifth] [one_fifth padding=”0 0 0 0px”]Balance
Health
Personal Development
Spirituality
Well-being[/one_fifth] [one_fifth_last padding=”0 0 0 0px”]Cheerfulness
Fun
Happiness
Humor
Inspiration
Joy
Optimism
Playfulness[/one_fifth_last]