I’ve been thinking about love a lot lately. Even more than usual. Maybe it’s because Venus was in retrograde for 40 days until today.
Venus is the planet of love, creativity and money. When Venus goes retrograde, which is roughly only 18 months, those areas of our lives are affected. Essentially what happens is that anything that is not working in those areas, come up to the surface to be reviewed, changed, let go of and transformed. That means unresolved exboyfriends show up straining for attention, we start to question whether we are truly enjoying our lives or just letting them pass by, and our money issues amplify so hard that we have to face them or be burnt. It’s a great time to reflect what your long-term vision is for your life in terms of love, pleasure and money.
On the day Venus went retrograde I made a promise to myself the day that I would use the next 40 days to transform my relationships. I would gently examine the way I love myself and others and be honest with myself around what is working and what is not. I wanted to address the fact that I love so easily but am disappointed when those I love don’t fulfil my vision of who they are as I always see ppl in their highest potential. And, I that am very accepting but I don’t always practice enough discernment. Or, I’m a romantic, I love love so much that I’m not always ***ahem: ever*** practical about it. One of the biggest lessons the universe keeps teaching me the last few years is that to love someone is not always enough reason to stay together or for it to work. This Venus retrograde I wanted to learn how to be smarter in love. As I write in my poem I’ve got this now.
Here are what actually happened and things I learned about love this Venus Retrograde:
1. Not a single ex-boyfriend contacted me. Not one. This, to me, is worth celebrating because it means there is absolutely no discord remaining in my past relationships. No drama. No soul contracts. Nothing. I’m a free and clear agent. And nothing could make me happier.
2. Which leaves the relationship I have to myself. I integrated a new level of self-love. For the first time of my life, I learned what it means to truly take care of myself and meet my own needs. Over and over I met myself where I am and gave to myself what I needed at that moment. Coming from a background where neither of my parents were in a position where they could do that for me, let alone model it for me, this is a revelation for me. It wasn’t about making do. It was showing up for myself over and over again, and not abandoning myself when things felt difficult which was the subconscious pattern I had secretly been harbouring. It meant that I learned to trust myself even more, by proving myself how trustworthy I am.
3. I revelled in the fact that I have the most money in my savings account that I have ever had, I’m talking several 5-figure digits, and every single cent of it comes from my work in my business as a women’s empowerment mentor, writer and creative. My income comes from working in private client sessions with women across 3 months to a year and selling multiple classes that provide women with the tools to break free and truly co-create their lives in alignment with their authentic path. As well as more recently, a private 1:1 retreat in my home. If being a single, independent woman with her own money that feels like a cushion to rely on is not self-love then… I don’t know anything. I’m not bragging here, rather, I am swooning with pride.
4. Finally, the answer to any problem is creativity. This Venus retrograde taught me so much about the value of creativity. I need to, and we all need to, stop looking outside of ourselves for what we “need” and instead look within for what we already have. We can’t just be consumers. We must be creators. Venus is the planet of love and creative expression and we live in a world that is breaking down under the weight of an unbalanced outdated paradigm based on a consumer society that is unsustainable. In order to turn things around, we have to become resourceful and think about how our own creativity can become a micro solution in every-day moments as part of our macro predicament.
The last 40 days did not play out in the way I thought they would. They were much richer and more profound. My romantic love life barely even registered this time around. And it felt good to be with me instead of invested in another. I used to believe that real love was a passionate, blazing heat that swept through my life and destroyed it in its tempestuous fire. What I learned instead was that true love is a gentle cornucopia of presence, like a tender embrace that remains long after the person is gone.