I wish that, when I was in my years of wondering and wandering, there had been some kind of guided pathway to discovering my own brand of uniqueness. Alas, like most of us, it took extensive self-discovery to come anywhere close to identifying what I actually wanted to do with my life.


Not only that, it took a lot of recognising that life isn’t anything like the way I thought it would be. I remember going through university, assuming that I would become a psychologist at the end, and simply walk into a fulfilling, well-paying comfortable job the moment my twinkling little toes stepped into the world from under the protection of academia.


I was wrong.


Not only did I realise – by the time I had completed my undergraduate and was about to start my honors program – that I didn’t even want to become a psychologist anymore, but also, that the economy and workplace had changed tremendously since the time my parents were my age. They were the once who fed me with these expectations after all.


Since then there have been many other times that I have questioned my path – which often led to questioning my entire existence. After 5 years when I knew I had enough of my music festival career. After the end of my four-year relationship. But all those years of questioning and wondering and wandering, led me to where I am now. Those years of not-knowing are valuable and guide you to finding your path after all. They are necessary adversaries in the journey of finally knowing.


And now I know. I am here to serve. To help others uncover their own truth and start to embody their full potential. And I do it with all the passion and love in my heart and soul. With my very own brand of uniqueness.


There is a lot of pressure put on people to figure out ‘who and what they want to be’. Some people know from an early age, others spend their entire life-time trying to decide. There are no real guaranteed, no-fail short-cuts for this process. You have to live your life to the full, experience as much as you can and make your choices from those contrasts that you get to experience.


You must always follow your heart, do the things that you love to do, and one day you will find yourself creating a life and career that is made up of the things you have been day-dreaming of.


It might look so very differently than you had imagined. And it might change several times.


Here are 8 tips and insights in what worked and continue to work for me (because we are all ever-evolving and changing).


1. Get the book and do the test Now, Discover Your Strengths by Marcus Buckingham. It will give you an insight into what you are naturally predisposed to, and to choose to do things that you can shine in. It’s a really insightful book, and the answers will surprise you.


2. Go out and experience life as much as you can. Take hold of every opportunity to try something new that excites and interests you. That’s how you find out what is meant for you.


3. Don’t be afraid to say NO to the things that bore you or simply don’t pique your interest. They are simply not for you.


4. Give yourself permission to follow your dreams no matter how weird and out-of-the-box they seem. Just because your ideal life and job doesn’t exist (as far as you know) yet, doesn’t mean that you can’t create it. You have the capacity to make your life anything you want. Anything.


5. Believe in yourself. Don’t allow judgement and doubt to cloud those dreams. Because every great thing starts out looking impossible and ridiculous. About 8 years ago I remember saying to a friend “I wish I could figure out a way for people to pay me to travel and live my life the way that I want!” And well, 8 years later, that’s exactly what I’m doing. Plus I get to inspire thousands of people who read my blog and help hundreds of my coaching clients to turn those dreams into reality too.


6. Always choose whatever is the most fun. Fun doesn’t necessary mean easy. I would have never started my business if I had known some of the challenges I have had to face throughout building and growing it! I will never forget that time I had $300 in my bank account, my rent due, and no clients in sight. But it’s been the most fun, exciting, exhilarating ride ever, and now I am so very grateful that I did take all those risks, despite the many tears shed and the many challenging limitations and obstacles overcome.


7. Don’t put yourself under pressure to have it all figured out. Part of the journey is simply about not knowing. And trying out everything until you know what you like and what you don’t like. Every day you are collecting experiences and making decisions about whether those experiences are in alignment with who you are. One day you will have enough contrasts collected up to have a very defined and specific idea of what you want to share with the world and the best way to give your gifts. And even once you’ve figure that out – it will continuously be refined. It’s a never-ending process.


8. Know that there’s no getting there or arriving or end point; you will be discovering yourself for the rest of your life. Once you get comfortable with that, and learn to accept yourself as part of the process in the present moment, everything gets much easier.


Did you know that if you read for just 30 minutes a day on a particular subject, in seven years you can be a leader in that subject? If you study for an hour a day, you can reach this expert level in under four years, and if you commit to three hours per day, then in less than two years you’ll be on the cutting edge. When you are vastly informed on a subject that you love, radiate with it. | Dr John Demartini

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