you’re right
“Your conclusion that there isn’t enough of something—whether it is enough land, or money, or clarity—stems from you learning, without meaning to, a vibration that holds you apart from what you want.” — Abraham Hicks A few years ago I had a boyfriend who was the most frugal, ungenerous man I have ever met. He would always choose the cheapest options in the supermarket, suggest low-to-no-budget dates and if we did go to dinner he would meticulously calculate the total and then split it with me. Generally, he hesitated to offer any gesture that might cost him financially. He was so cheap that everything we did felt small, suffocating and limited. During the four years of our relationship, our financial situations shifted. I met him in the second year of my business when I was barely making enough to get by but by the end of the four years, I outearned him by almost double. The difference between him and I was that I did the work. her wealth — the live 5-week women’s money training — is starting soon. enrollments close on Sunday, February 25th. learn more and join here. He had a ‘lack’ mentality. So he scrimped and calculated and pinched. I was familiar with this type of thinking. I also had been brought up to...
little miracles
“What was your miracle today?” The text reads. I just sat down in my new favourite cafe, a small red, white and pink oriental/hipster/millennial vibes place that’s cute and kitsch with an obvious identity crisis, laptop in tow. I pull my phone out and read those words, words we have been sending back and forth to each other. An invitation to look for the miracle that happens each day. Yesterday’s miracle was a delightful Greek lunch date with a man I consider just a friend which poured over into an art gallery and music adventures through Cape Town’s city centre streets and ended with a kiss. The other miracle was the deep sleep that followed. I order a ‘red cappuccino’ from the stocky African man behind the counter, flustered and sweating in his busyness — essentially a shot of strong rooibos tea made like a coffee — and return to my seat at a bench that has small cards labelled with “for laptops”. I don’t notice the elderly man who sits down next to me until he turns and asks “Where are you visiting from?” I smile at him and say I live in the U.K. wondering how my Europeanness stands out. He tells me his daughter lives there naming a town in Surrey that I do not know. We chat about travel and Cape Town, how the...
wealth, her way (your way)
The other day a friend and I met up for dinner and we talked a lot about financial independence and how important it is to be financially independent to feel well, to have good self-esteem, and to be able to make choices that benefit all. Over several 4-bites-per-serve sized seafood mains that should have been tapas, shared out equally, and glasses of white wine from the vineyard we looked out on, we relished our momentary opulence. Ultimately, we agreed, that what we all want is to feel secure, circulate wealth, enjoy our lives and do good. The past six months have brought about some pretty drastic changes across the globe. Costs of living heightened, wages barely increased, some people lost jobs and it all felt kind of extreme and demeaning and unfair. Just as we had come out from under a domino of disasters, did we need another reason to feel squeezed in our lives? No. But. We get to do some really cool shit with money. We get to live in homes with running water and heating or cooling respectively to our needs. We get to choose the foods that we like grown under the conditions of our preference. We get to go to places and see art under soft lighting or artists under spotlights sweating for their craft. We get...
go, do, eat guide: Mallorca
Folklore tells us that in Mallorca the majority of the population lived in the country, from the country and mostly in poverty. Agricultural land was the most prized possession which was located mostly inland away from the more barren, rocky sea-side. As is common in patriarchal culture, the most productive and fertile land was handed down from father to eldest son(s) and the least desirable land was inherited by the lesser members of the family, the women. Until the 1950s came around Mallorca when became a luxury destination with stars such as Liza Minelli and Frank Sinatra who came and stayed at the Grand Hotel in Palma and went to Palma’s finest club, Tito’s. Across the next 10 years, the island experienced a transformation of epic proportions with 360,000 tourists visiting the “Isla de la Calma” — the island of tranquillity — and the once undesirable land underwent a building boom to house these visitors. The women suddenly became rich, while their older brothers continued their agricultural struggle inland. A great discord began between families. One that continues to rival siblings to this day. I was based in the southeast, San Augustine (or Sant Agusti in Catalan) a short 15-minute drive outside of Palma....
remember that you are hope…
On Tuesday we were sitting in the sand at my favourite Cala, a brisk 30-minute walk away from my home in Mallorca. I had to pull my sunglasses off the wipe away the tears. She had just shared a concept made tangible by the well-known psychotherapist Francis Weller that speaks to the collective grief we all share at coming here. To have a human experience and not receive the love we thought we would get from our parents, nor the community to receive us, nor the depth of emotional intimacy from one another, nor the opportunity to serve something larger than oneself. Our souls are left searching for some meaning, a reason for why we are here at all, if those parts of ourselves aren't met. My eyes immediately welled up. "I feel this so deeply" I replied to her. The great illusion is that life eventually arrives after enough effort and searching. Life never arrives. Instead, we continue to search and live our lives in pursuit of greater understanding, greater compassion, and greater levels of creativity that we add to the world. This is life. It’s fun, it's painful, it's happy, it's depressing. Consider the fact that you’re on a planet spinning...
so much can change in 20 seconds
It takes 17 seconds for a thought to take on an entity of its own. My meditation teacher said this morning. Every morning since the start of the year I have been meeting her and a group of others at 8 am to meditate together to change the frequencies in our bodies so that we get out of our damn way. When you focus on a thought for 17 seconds, you activate the vibration of the thought. And when you focus on a thought for 68 seconds, the vibration becomes powerful enough to manifest itself in real life. She says. We do 20 minutes of focused awareness each morning, just to be sure. Time. Focus. Awareness. These are the tools of our human supernatural sorcery. How we choose to spend our time becomes central to our life. Where we put our focus grows, expands and evolves as if focus itself is the water to a seed. What we bring into our awareness commands the perspective we have in each experience. I have not been shy in sharing that life, as I was experiencing it, has challenged me for the past 18 months or so. The tipping point occurred when, one day in mid-October 2021 as I was preparing for my journey to relocate to Mallorca, I suddenly felt a sharp spasmodic pain run across the left side of my lower...
goodbye 2022
Some years are like being caught in a plunging wave that at first, beckons you with a playful curl and then, drops you into the frenzy of its internal tumble, before spitting you out against the sandy ocean floor with violent speed, leaving you floundering, fighting against the ocean's mighty force to reach the surface and urgently fill your lungs with air. Over and over again. That was this year for me. 2022 has taught me to navigate the waves of life as a surfer does. With equal parts hope, determination, resilience and surrender. I learned that I have more strength and capacity than I ever thought. It taught me a level of emotional maturity that was new to me that helped me handle the knockdowns. It gave me opportunities I didn't know I wanted. It asked me to reclaim my life as my own. As a woman and a human in this very strange cosmic experiment that we call life. My most recent piece of writing was about how when the question ‘what would make me feel good?’ isn’t big enough anymore, the question ‘how does life want to be expressed through me?’ replaces it. Read the article here. In 2023, I am: Splitting the forward-facing parts of myself as A Person On The Internet into 3. Holding the...
how I manage my time ⏳
This is originally from my newsletter, so if it inspires you, please subscribe to receive future articles of the same ilk. You have to realise there are two types of people in the world. Half of us thrive from consistent routines and structures, and half don't. Neither one is better. You have to know what you are running with and map your life out accordingly. I have an entire free self-study course dedicated to figuring that out called 'Pause & Pivot' that you can take right now. And if you belong to the half that thrives from less structure and more from frenetic free flow... Then you are like me. In human design, they use the term 'consistently inconsistent' for people like me. If the upper left arrow in your chart points to the right then you are a person who thrives when you have the freedom to do things in a different order every day. You will likely struggle to adhere to consistent routines. And that's ok! When I share my day-to-day on social media, I often am asked how I manage my time. I promised to share my system. I live my life adhering to my values, which, if you have watched 'Pause & Pivot' you would know are truth, freedom, beauty and love. And the way I manage my time is that...
a story from 19 years ago…
Nineteen years ago, I was sitting in the middle row of my enormous lecture hall as our professor peered at us over his glasses "eight out of every ten of you will have in the past, or will in the future experience some form of depression and anxiety" he said. We looked at each other quietly wondering who in this room might admit to it. It was 2001 and mental health still had a stigma attached to it even though we were all here to become mental health professionals. Three years later I stood at the front of that lecture hall and gave a talk about the hazard of labels, including anxiety, depression, ADHD and so on. I proposed that, while it is important to acknowledge the emotionally, hormonally, and physical-health driven rollercoaster of life would it not be more reasonable if we embraced those as the human experience and focused on creating a society that made the world will live in a safe place for the full spectrum of human affairs. Afterwards, my lecturer congratulated me for my well-delivered unorthodox ideas and amusedly reminded me that if we didn't give people names and labels for the highs and lows of life, we would be out of jobs. I decided I didn't want that kind of job, then,...
The 5 phases of RENEWAL
Today, October 11th marks exactly 1 year since my arrival in Mallorca. Unlike a year ago, when I landed to sunny skies, vibrant flowers and an ache of deep grief in my heart that gave this island a chromatic dullness... today it is pouring down with the first proper rains of the season, vibrant flowers and a renewed sense of joy and possibility in my heart that provide this island life with an animated delight. What a difference a year makes. What a journey this has been. How much I've had to move through. And you, probably too. I want to write about the hypnotherapy sessions I've been doing, but I'm still in the midst of them, so I will save them for when I feel more complete and all the pieces have settled. But alongside that, with the craniosacral sessions, and all the practices I teach in RENEW, I've been able to cultivate and curate a whole new perspective and experience of the world. One that is more honest than ever before, while also being more playful and light. I don’t want to be one of those people who keeps going on about how challenging life has been the past couple of years. But there are two reasons why I do want to keep speaking about it. 1. I know I’m not the...