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my daily 5-step routine for youth, beauty, spirit & mental health

my daily 5-step routine for youth, beauty, spirit & mental health

  Turning 40 plus being in a near-constant state of crisis the past 18 months means that my self-care rituals and routines have reached level 100. I always wished I had this kind of commitment and consistency to my self-care and if that's the only gift 2020 and 2021 have given me, then I am grateful.   Here is my (almost) daily 5-step routine for youth, beauty, spirit & mental health. On a 'perfect' day in this order, on an 'imperfect' day in a scrabbled version of this from morning to evening.   I am a morning person as long as I don't have to speak to anyone before 10 am. As in, I love mornings... slow, quiet, and alone. I know this is a luxury that many don't have, so if this self-care routine seems inaccessible, take what you can and leave the rest. Don't worry, I am enjoying it singularly on your behalf.   1. Check In I only know I'm awake because my body starts stretching its limbs out. As soon as I do Danger comes for a morning kiss and cuddle while I wrestle him out of the way to reach for my Daysy and take my temperature. I could really just track my cycle using my cervical fluid and moods/body symptoms but after 4 years it's an ingrained habit now. Then I close my eyes again,...

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my anima visited me…

my anima visited me…

  I've been 40 for 1 week, today. It's so strange, this counting lives lived by the number of spins we've spun around the sun. What if we counted, instead, maturity levels and wisdom and capacity to hold and heal the hard things and find love and joy in all the little things. Some people with 50 spins might get a rating of 15 and some with 17 spins might get a rating of 89.   The electricity in my seaside flat went out yesterday morning. Being a Sunday no one could come to fix it until midday today and so I spent 30 hours with my books and thoughts and watercolour paints and an evening writing by candlelight. I wish the electricity would go out more often. The quiet humdrum solitude gave me space for words: a new article, 3 poems, and some deeply insightful journaling came tumbling out of me bringing me a peace I had wished for because words from under pens and tip-tapping fingertips are the only balms that reach me under my skin.   My guiding anima visited me at 4 am this morning. She only comes every so often when I have things I need to know and hear, often after I have beseeched her for guidance in my waking life. Knowing that at 4 am I will listen without retort pinned down by the heaviness of...

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this is 40…

this is 40…

  There are two white hairs in my left eyebrow, eyebrows that I now get tinted every now and then to hide those white hairs. There are a couple of white hairs on my head and in my pubes but I don't mind those much. It's the two in that eyebrow that bother me. There are two frown lines between my brows from frowning over fervent words, over broken hearts, over bright sunshine, over things that frighten me, my entire life. There are soft lines next to and under my eyes as well but I like those. They feel genuine and vulnerable and raw. But the ones from frowning too often annoy me.   These simple mementoes that the human body is transient, that everything dies one day, that the blossom and bloom of life are followed by dissolution. The physical aspects are just one tiny part, I am so much more than what I appear to be on the outside, but a reminder of the physical decay in physical life on a physical planet. I think about death often. I always have. My moon is in Scorpio, it's in my human operating system, and also death has accompanied me from a young age, a cherished reminder to live each day well, fully, wholly, because tomorrow may not come.   What frightens me more than death is grief. Life...

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finding HOME…

finding HOME…

  The truth is that, with all my Earthly wandering and wondering, my deepest longing is to find is a place I can call 'home'. The concept of having a home, feeling at home, and 'home' as a safe space has always been challenging for me. It's one of the wounds I have to unravel in this lifetime rooted in a childhood where 'home' was a place I wanted to continuously escape.    I’ve found 'home' within of myself. I feel so anchored and safe and supported as a human being in the world which makes it easy to flit around. My body is my first and primary home. And I've created many 'homes' for myself.   Slowly and slowly... my time in each place is extending as my nervous system is recalibrating into deep relaxation... and I am finding myself yearning and longing for a sense of having landed in a place that holds my body and trinkets and love.   More recently, two years in Mexico. And now 18 months in Brighton. It’s been sweet, this little home of mine. Safe, gentle, calm, easy. But the blood in my veins and the marrow in my bones is begging me to continue inquiring. This is not it. I hear the winds say.   At the close of September before the cold weather drapes us in its shrouded darkness again,...

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What was the hardest thing? & 10 other questions

What was the hardest thing? & 10 other questions

  I always knew I was going to create a life on my own terms. I also knew that to do so I had to be a little strange, outlandish, run against the current, have people disagree with me, and dislike me. I was ok with that. One of the greatest gifts that being parentless has given me is the freedom to command my life as my own. I have the privilege to create a life that I please out of my values, beliefs, and inner knowings fuelled by oodles of determination, stubbornness, and magnificent dreams.   It was inevitable that I would end up working for myself. I was a terrible employee: I would do that bare minimum; I felt utterly invested and dispassionate about my employer's goals and aims; I questioned the working hours because I knew I could get more results faster and resented having to drag them across a full working day. More than anything, I wanted space and time to actually enjoy my life. I've always been of the opinion that this sweet, short, wild ride on Earth is supposed to be a sensual, playful, joyful one. Served with a side of soul-growth.   But building a business, from the ground up, on a shoestring was no walk in the park. It required me to dig deep, face some of my biggest shadows, and...

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A snapshot of what I studied + did to work as a women’s mentor

A snapshot of what I studied + did to work as a women’s mentor

  I was always a dreamer as a kid, lost in my own fantasy world. I spent the ages of 10 and 11 training to be a mermaid by swimming endless lengths of our neighbour’s pool while holding my breath and sliding my body in wave-like motions so I could propel myself forward without arms. Knowing what I wanted to “be” when I was a child was a foreign concept. But what I did know was that I wasn’t interested in any of the options society offered me.   Here’s a snapshot of what I studied and did to end up working as a women’s mentor:   I completed a Bachelor of Science in Psychology largely out of self-interest but with the potential bi-product of becoming a psychologist at the end. I loved this 4-year course. Amongst many other things it gave me the ability to be analytical; to do real research to find the truth of things; an in-depth understanding of human behaviour; and the knowledge that we are always going to be our best case studies, so my teachings and practice are wholly based on what I know to be true for myself.   I went on to work at global music and film festivals for several years which are the ultimate study of human behaviour in intense environments and under extreme conditions which...

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time management, work + productivity ~ redefined

time management, work + productivity ~ redefined

  I recently spoke about how I manage my time and run my business in one of my mentoring groups and it created quite a stir, so I wanted to share this conversation with you here.   Did you know that 70% of the population isn't supposed to be consistently motivated all the time? Yet many people are looking for a magical time management system to manage and organize their motivation in a linear way.   The key to good time management is deprogramming yourself from the way you think time works.   This means teaching yourself to believe that you can still be successful even if you don't work in linear, dogmatic blocks of time, that are the same every day and every week.   Maybe, like for me, your motivation comes in waves. Sometimes it's there and fully turned on. In those waves, I can get more done in 1-2 hours than most people do in an 8-hour workday. Sometimes it's not there and I surrender and trust that this is a time I am meant to be more inwards, reflective and gestating in preparation for the next wave.   The concept of time management is such an interesting topic because, and bear with me here, what is time even, aside from a social construct to help us measure our presence and...

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Brighton + London — half-day in-person mentoring — this Summer.

Brighton + London — half-day in-person mentoring — this Summer.

  Blooming and flourishing — as an internal experience rather than a performative act — is something that has captivated me in particular across the past year. I had so many opportunities to look at the choices I make over and over again with curious inquisition to check in with myself whether they actually breathe the goodness of life into my bones, or if they are things I do because I presume that there is no other way. I face in myself a desire for life to feel good beyond what it looks like on the outside and the more that I lean into this I find so much of my external life is falling apart.   Which means change and disruption and movement and softening evermore into the unknown. And it means I'm leaving the UK, for a little while at least. This also means that this is the last time I'm offering in-person mentoring on this luscious slip of land.   If you’re in Brighton or London, and you’d like to hire me, here’s what I’m proposing:   — 1/2 day face-to-face mentoring session in Brighton or London at my/your home, a cool cafe or co-working space, whatever location is most convenient for you. During this session, we can: map out a creative plan/biz project/online course for something BIG you...

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How private mentoring with me works, now.

How private mentoring with me works, now.

15 years ago when I received the letter of invitation to continue my studies and undertake a Master in Clinical Psychology so I could become a practising psychologist I halted. In part, because I wasn't sure I had accrued high enough grades to invite an offer; and in a larger part because I wasn't sure I wanted to be a psychologist anymore.   Something about the way that we were expected to categorise and label unique, individual human souls didn't sit right with me. From my own experience with various forms of therapy, there is a limit of how far into the psyche we can reach. Talk therapy is incredible when we haven't had any more to explicitly share our deepest fear, traumas and shame. It opens up a portal for release and transformation.   It also summons the potential for getting stuck in the past, reliving all those things that happened before that hurt over and over again sliding the individual firmly into a narrative of victimhood instead of offering up an incentive that what is really important is what we do with those experiences to grow, to heal, to evolve.   From my understanding, clinical psychology has progressed somewhat since then. There is more room to include the individual, to see...

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my 6:2 day juice cleanse for clarity, hydration & radiance

my 6:2 day juice cleanse for clarity, hydration & radiance

  I firmly believe that outsourcing your health and wellness to a body outside of you, especially one that is rooted in capitalist structures like the State and governments is literal insanity. I have no idea when this happened, that human beings stopped taking responsibility for their own bodies and handed them over to corporations. But I think if there's one thing that everyone should have taken away from the past year is that the most valuable thing you own is the health of your own body, mind and soul.   Life has felt stagnant in unfamiliar ways though so much is happening in the undercurrents, so I keep remembering that one wise soul who told me that contraction always precedes expansion. I don’t recognise myself anymore, the past year had me swaying in the chaos of discomfort but there are glimpses here in my own personal dark magic with uncertain endings, of a new version of me that is to slip out when she is ready.   Seasonally, I tend to do a cleanse of some kind to alleviate the sense of disillusionment I feel with the world at times and expedite the rush and flow of life to move through my body which tends to contact during periods of growth and change.   Around the corner from my...

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