the difference between mentoring, coaching & therapy

the difference between mentoring, coaching & therapy

  Self-actualisation is the process of becoming “everything you are capable of becoming.”   There’s no script for that. Everyone has to find their own unique ways to hear the inner wisdom that can help them live a life of truth. Only you can determine what living your fully expressed truth means for you.   Self-actualisation doesn’t involve perfection or things always going smoothly. You can become self-actualized and still face difficulties. But it's not something you can do alone. You will always be influenced by the level of guidance, support and mentorship you receive.   We live in a culture that values instant gratification, superficial beauty, lavish possessions and excessive consumption making up for what it lacks in emotional depth, community, creativity and meaningful connections.   When things don't work out or we don't get what we want or feel empty inside we often try to fill our time, space and home with more perfunctory things, people and experiences. Every dysfunctional human behaviour is an attempt to escape suffering. We don't stop for a moment and consider that perhaps what we feel we are really feeling is the disconnection from our truth.   This is where mentoring...

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come together

come together

  "I feel like I found my people!" she burst into tears looking around at the Zoom-circle of women smiling back at her hands on hearts. Eyes shining with emotion we all nodded in agreement. It was the final call for Her Way 2021. We had come together and found each other.   She echoed the profound ache of every human. The deeply honed instinct to find people with common interests, aims and values, with whom you can share your journey, and feel safe, held, supported, guided, mentored and understood.   The question "What is my purpose and what is the purpose of life?" is a modern one. A reflection of the paramount disconnection that we feel from life and each other. For the most part of 30,000 years, we have come together in small communities and existed as an extension of the natural world around us living the answer to that question. Beholden custodians of the physical world we took care of Earth and she took care of us.   Our purpose is precisely that. To have the living, breathing, tangible experience of being alive, being a part of the natural world and tending to it. It's a psychedelic trip of seeing ourselves mirrored by the world around us and yet also being of it. Something we have not...

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it’s time to live in integrity & the time is now

it’s time to live in integrity & the time is now

This is a short excerpt from an email I sent to a private client. I have a feeling that someone else, maybe you, needs to read these words too.   When you are living in alignment all the things that your heart and higher self yearn for can make their way to you with such fluidity, speed and ease.   Alignment is when our thoughts, life choices, and direction all honour our core values. Alignment is when we listen to our intuition and move through the world embodying our true selves. Alignment is function and action with ease.   If you are new to core values, I teach you how to define your core values in my course 'Pause & Pivot'. It's instant access, and it's free. Sign up for it here.   There has been a habit in your life to approach things with black and white thinking: as if you have to choose one thing and abandon a part of yourself in order to be successful/accepted/liked/safe etc.   This is the biggest thing I want you to change. You can have it all, and all at the same time, but perhaps not all at the same time at 100%. And it doesn’t need to be.   Life is made up of so many complex paradoxes all occurring at the same time and that’s what make sit so incredible, magical and...

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Forcing myself into a linear model of productivity doesn’t work for me.

Forcing myself into a linear model of productivity doesn’t work for me.

  So many people are awakening right now... coming to terms with the fact that the lies we have been sold all our lives, in fact, aren't important at all. Materialism doesn't matter. We are all equal. Happiness comes from within. Love is all that matters.   But we live in a world that keeps telling us that our status and value in life is defined by the things we own and the position we hold in society. And that if you disregard these concepts you will be outcast, cold and alone.   It makes integrating and living in alignment with the insights of our awakening inside the world as it currently exists near impossible. We begin to feel disconnected and have to defy society to maintain our sense of right and good in the world.   When we have an intrinsic belief in how good the world could be if these superficial, shallow values were no longer placed high on superficial, shallow pedestals, we begin to wonder how we can create a world where our insights and awakening will be embraced and maintained. A world where we can remain connected to these higher truths in such a way that we can easily access and experience them.   Wanting to answer this precise predicament was what drove me to create the...

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I was fired by my first therapist / How I learned emotional fluency

I was fired by my first therapist / How I learned emotional fluency

  "I think that's the end of our time together." She said peering over her nose at me as she closed her notebook. I was 19. In the third session with my therapist. "Is she firing me?" I thought, incredulous. We had not even scratched the surface.   "Why?" I asked. "Because you won't open up to me. You haven't told me anything. You're not willing to reveal yourself to me."   She was right. I wanted her to dig. To ask the right questions to unbound my heart and words. I wanted her to give voice to the frozen emotions in my throat. I wanted her to read my mind and my body and tell me what was going on. I didn't want to have to tell her. She couldn’t bring me to speak or open up. I didn't know how to.   I didn't know. I had zero emotional literacy. I didn’t know how to drop my guard. How to be vulnerable and share. I lacked the emotional fluency and the connection to my inner world to express what I had repressed my entire life because I had learned it was not safe to do so. I needed to go to therapy to go to therapy.    I grew up in a dysfunctional home environment with a troubling parent-child dynamic. My emotional needs were not met, my feelings were dismissed, and I took on adult levels...

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Like all of you, I am doing my best.

Like all of you, I am doing my best.

I hesitate as I write to you today... I've deleted and rewritten this first sentence five times already, unsure of what to say, what not to say. What's true, honest, kind, nuanced enough. Maybe it's also ok to just be imperfect and human right now.   Currently, I have friends who have lost their homes or are existing in isolated little islands of land cut off from anyone else in NNSW and SEQLD in Australia due to floods. I have friends who have been standing and sleeping on the steps of the Parliament House in Wellington, New Zealand peacefully requesting the right to continue their lives and businesses without being inoculated. Until a police force brutally moved them along. I have friends who recently did the same in Canada. I have friends, both Russian and Ukrainian, who feel heartbroken and helpless standing by watching as a man with much unresolved trauma and too much power wield deadly threats.   I am aware that these sorts of heartbreaking things have been happening in lots of places for a long time. I am aware that in my privilege I only care to think of them when they affect those that I love. I am aware that there is more that I don't know and might be dismissing or failing to address. More...

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Start the momentum. Fight inertia. Fight resistance.

Start the momentum. Fight inertia. Fight resistance.

Something that keeps arising for me in my mind is that the starting point in discovering how you want to live your life is always to think about what makes your soul soar, what makes your heart leap for joy, what makes your pulse quicken, what puts a big smile on your face…   So many people do not fulfil their potential or take advantage of their incredible talents because they have a heavy sense of responsibility and feel that it is just a pipe dream. I know that we are meant to lead remarkable lives. We are meant to fulfil our dreams. We are meant to live with joy and love in our hearts not feel downtrodden, exploited and trapped.   So how do we go about changing our lives to reflect that? Step by tiny step. You adjust the way you live each day. Gently leaning into the kind of lifestyle that suits your individual nature and the ways you want to spend your time. Maybe just a few minutes a day but it is progress. Set aside an hour a week to move towards that. Start the momentum.  Fight inertia. Fight resistance. Fight those voices in your head and the cynics around you who say you can’t do it, you haven’t got what it takes, it is too difficult.   There is something I want to invite you to: Next...

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how to untether & reclaim my life

how to untether & reclaim my life

  When I was 28 I quit the western way of life and booked an open flight to India. After 4 years at university, 5 years working at music festivals, and 1 year working behind a desk in a London dance company restoring my body to health after the years of festival-frenzied drug-taking (yes, a trauma response but that's a conversation for another time) I dropped my expectations. I packed a bag and flew to Delhi and then onward to Goa. It was 2007.   Facebook had just become a worldwide phenomenon and I refused to start an account despite my boyfriend's insistence. A week before I flew out he asked me to marry him, my second proposal up to then. There have been 3 more since. A proposal that I knew in my body came from the fear of losing me. I said "yes" but didn't mean it, didn't have the integrity nor the voice to speak my truth. I was leaving anyway. I thought it didn't matter.   It took me 3 weeks to acclimatise. My days melted from one into another. I would wake up late, eat fruit and yoghurt at one of the beach shacks, swim in the Arabian Sea and lay in the sun, flirt with newcomers and go on daily adventures with new friends. I'd go to markets, ride motorbikes, eat rice and dahl with locals,...

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So much of life is optional, not mandatory.

So much of life is optional, not mandatory.

  So much of life is optional, not mandatory.   But we forget that, don't we? We inflate ourselves with a grandiose succession of 'shoulds' and 'musts' and find ourselves slipping beneath the surface of why we came to Earth in the first place. I am absolutely certain that we are here to have a profoundly enjoyable experience. To sip on the ecstasy that is a life fully lived. And yet...   The past few weeks I keep bumping up against the fact that my entire system is currently rewiring itself. Every time I think I’m done, every time I impatiently try to move on, life puts me back into my place, into the present moment and makes me feel every emotion until I am fully purged. I’ve been in a season of doing the slow, incremental, unglamorous work of questioning one belief system at a time.   Redefining my life, my work, the way I use my time, my existence piece by piece. Remembering anything is possible when I work through patterns and conditioning like an archaeological soul excavation. I’ve had to let go of so much and questioned myself so deeply and had to teach my nervous system that it’s safe through it all one breath at a time.   I keep surrendering to these waves of needing to be still...

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BOUNDARIED: Mapping Your Best Work Week: 2-hour Workshop

Take your life back by taking your time back. Take your life back by taking your days back.  Take your life back by taking your energy back. Take your life back by defining your work schedule. Creating your own timeline. On your terms.    Our, (Claire & Vienda), first conversation this year began with a mutual desire to redefine how we spend our time. Exclaiming in unison on a WhatsApp call words tumbled out of our mouths — yearning to create more space, more time, more joy, more play, more living — forming a new and boundaried approach to work.   In a world that celebrates overwork and overwhelm, where everyone is so exhausted but addicted to the cycle of depletion, we want to map out a framework to step out of this paradigm.    We know that, as sovereign women, we have to own and honour the most precious thing we have: TIME.   The pragmatic practice of mapping out your week in such a way that actually serves you is a portal into strengthening self-trust and CEO Sovereignty. While this is such a simple process, it requires awareness of one’s unique energetic waves throughout the day and commitment to staying curious and attuned to what actually best serves you, your creativity and your...

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