Forcing myself into a linear model of productivity doesn’t work for me.

Forcing myself into a linear model of productivity doesn’t work for me.

  So many people are awakening right now... coming to terms with the fact that the lies we have been sold all our lives, in fact, aren't important at all. Materialism doesn't matter. We are all equal. Happiness comes from within. Love is all that matters.   But we live in a world that keeps telling us that our status and value in life is defined by the things we own and the position we hold in society. And that if you disregard these concepts you will be outcast, cold and alone.   It makes integrating and living in alignment with the insights of our awakening inside the world as it currently exists near impossible. We begin to feel disconnected and have to defy society to maintain our sense of right and good in the world.   When we have an intrinsic belief in how good the world could be if these superficial, shallow values were no longer placed high on superficial, shallow pedestals, we begin to wonder how we can create a world where our insights and awakening will be embraced and maintained. A world where we can remain connected to these higher truths in such a way that we can easily access and experience them.   Wanting to answer this precise predicament was what drove me to create the...

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I was fired by my first therapist / How I learned emotional fluency

I was fired by my first therapist / How I learned emotional fluency

  "I think that's the end of our time together." She said peering over her nose at me as she closed her notebook. I was 19. In the third session with my therapist. "Is she firing me?" I thought, incredulous. We had not even scratched the surface.   "Why?" I asked. "Because you won't open up to me. You haven't told me anything. You're not willing to reveal yourself to me."   She was right. I wanted her to dig. To ask the right questions to unbound my heart and words. I wanted her to give voice to the frozen emotions in my throat. I wanted her to read my mind and my body and tell me what was going on. I didn't want to have to tell her. She couldn’t bring me to speak or open up. I didn't know how to.   I didn't know. I had zero emotional literacy. I didn’t know how to drop my guard. How to be vulnerable and share. I lacked the emotional fluency and the connection to my inner world to express what I had repressed my entire life because I had learned it was not safe to do so. I needed to go to therapy to go to therapy.    I grew up in a dysfunctional home environment with a troubling parent-child dynamic. My emotional needs were not met, my feelings were dismissed, and I took on adult levels...

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Like all of you, I am doing my best.

Like all of you, I am doing my best.

I hesitate as I write to you today... I've deleted and rewritten this first sentence five times already, unsure of what to say, what not to say. What's true, honest, kind, nuanced enough. Maybe it's also ok to just be imperfect and human right now.   Currently, I have friends who have lost their homes or are existing in isolated little islands of land cut off from anyone else in NNSW and SEQLD in Australia due to floods. I have friends who have been standing and sleeping on the steps of the Parliament House in Wellington, New Zealand peacefully requesting the right to continue their lives and businesses without being inoculated. Until a police force brutally moved them along. I have friends who recently did the same in Canada. I have friends, both Russian and Ukrainian, who feel heartbroken and helpless standing by watching as a man with much unresolved trauma and too much power wield deadly threats.   I am aware that these sorts of heartbreaking things have been happening in lots of places for a long time. I am aware that in my privilege I only care to think of them when they affect those that I love. I am aware that there is more that I don't know and might be dismissing or failing to address. More...

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Start the momentum. Fight inertia. Fight resistance.

Start the momentum. Fight inertia. Fight resistance.

Something that keeps arising for me in my mind is that the starting point in discovering how you want to live your life is always to think about what makes your soul soar, what makes your heart leap for joy, what makes your pulse quicken, what puts a big smile on your face…   So many people do not fulfil their potential or take advantage of their incredible talents because they have a heavy sense of responsibility and feel that it is just a pipe dream. I know that we are meant to lead remarkable lives. We are meant to fulfil our dreams. We are meant to live with joy and love in our hearts not feel downtrodden, exploited and trapped.   So how do we go about changing our lives to reflect that? Step by tiny step. You adjust the way you live each day. Gently leaning into the kind of lifestyle that suits your individual nature and the ways you want to spend your time. Maybe just a few minutes a day but it is progress. Set aside an hour a week to move towards that. Start the momentum.  Fight inertia. Fight resistance. Fight those voices in your head and the cynics around you who say you can’t do it, you haven’t got what it takes, it is too difficult.   There is something I want to invite you to: Next...

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how to untether & reclaim my life

how to untether & reclaim my life

  When I was 28 I quit the western way of life and booked an open flight to India. After 4 years at university, 5 years working at music festivals, and 1 year working behind a desk in a London dance company restoring my body to health after the years of festival-frenzied drug-taking (yes, a trauma response but that's a conversation for another time) I dropped my expectations. I packed a bag and flew to Delhi and then onward to Goa. It was 2007.   Facebook had just become a worldwide phenomenon and I refused to start an account despite my boyfriend's insistence. A week before I flew out he asked me to marry him, my second proposal up to then. There have been 3 more since. A proposal that I knew in my body came from the fear of losing me. I said "yes" but didn't mean it, didn't have the integrity nor the voice to speak my truth. I was leaving anyway. I thought it didn't matter.   It took me 3 weeks to acclimatise. My days melted from one into another. I would wake up late, eat fruit and yoghurt at one of the beach shacks, swim in the Arabian Sea and lay in the sun, flirt with newcomers and go on daily adventures with new friends. I'd go to markets, ride motorbikes, eat rice and dahl with locals,...

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So much of life is optional, not mandatory.

So much of life is optional, not mandatory.

  So much of life is optional, not mandatory.   But we forget that, don't we? We inflate ourselves with a grandiose succession of 'shoulds' and 'musts' and find ourselves slipping beneath the surface of why we came to Earth in the first place. I am absolutely certain that we are here to have a profoundly enjoyable experience. To sip on the ecstasy that is a life fully lived. And yet...   The past few weeks I keep bumping up against the fact that my entire system is currently rewiring itself. Every time I think I’m done, every time I impatiently try to move on, life puts me back into my place, into the present moment and makes me feel every emotion until I am fully purged. I’ve been in a season of doing the slow, incremental, unglamorous work of questioning one belief system at a time.   Redefining my life, my work, the way I use my time, my existence piece by piece. Remembering anything is possible when I work through patterns and conditioning like an archaeological soul excavation. I’ve had to let go of so much and questioned myself so deeply and had to teach my nervous system that it’s safe through it all one breath at a time.   I keep surrendering to these waves of needing to be still...

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BOUNDARIED: Mapping Your Best Work Week: 2-hour Workshop

Take your life back by taking your time back. Take your life back by taking your days back.  Take your life back by taking your energy back. Take your life back by defining your work schedule. Creating your own timeline. On your terms.    Our, (Claire & Vienda), first conversation this year began with a mutual desire to redefine how we spend our time. Exclaiming in unison on a WhatsApp call words tumbled out of our mouths — yearning to create more space, more time, more joy, more play, more living — forming a new and boundaried approach to work.   In a world that celebrates overwork and overwhelm, where everyone is so exhausted but addicted to the cycle of depletion, we want to map out a framework to step out of this paradigm.    We know that, as sovereign women, we have to own and honour the most precious thing we have: TIME.   The pragmatic practice of mapping out your week in such a way that actually serves you is a portal into strengthening self-trust and CEO Sovereignty. While this is such a simple process, it requires awareness of one’s unique energetic waves throughout the day and commitment to staying curious and attuned to what actually best serves you, your creativity and your...

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from blood to blood

from blood to blood

Dec 5 Finally, the blood is here and she is full and juicy and red and gushing. After a 47-day cycle, nothing is more satisfying. So much is coming up for me right now. About life and aliveness. About men and the masculine in my life. About polarity and equilibrium. I miss feeling wild and free and just ALIVE. I've become so domesticated the past 8 or so years. In order to heal the trauma and habitual fight-or-flight patterns I've had to slow down, create safety and self-regulate but at the expense of feeling that buzz of aliveness from the constant drip of cortisol — the only addiction still wired into my cells. I used to live one day to the next, totally absorbed in each moment in perpetual survival mode. It was exhilarated and I loved living in the emotional chaos of one adrenaline rush to another in the form of a lifetsyle that meant never being settled, feeding off uncertainty and danger, defying conventional society. I wanted to change. I chose to heal. I knew I had to stop chasing the chemical highs that were my normal from growing up in an unstable environment. Yet I mourn a version of myself and my life that was once my own. I feel complacent about my life. I feel rebellious and filled with rage at a...

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closing the loops [a ritual]

closing the loops [a ritual]

2021: Trial by fire.   Today, I am closing the loops. An energetic loop is the container of something that began that needs to be closed. A calendar year, a relationship, a trauma cycle, a life. These are all energetic loops.   2021 found me pulled under the current and tumbled in the backwash of a turbulent world that I had actively opted out of a long time ago. I held my breath and froze. I stopped dreaming dreams for myself this year.   I pulled back this year. I sat back on my haunches and allowed the currents of the world to wash past me while I waited. I plucked at the thorns in my heart and planted wildflowers in terracotta pots on a balcony that was not my own. I watched them grow and loved them through the shortest summer and their even shorter lifetime.   I was held afloat by the women in my life this year. Women who saw me and heard me when I felt I had nothing left in me. I hurt for a world that is unfamiliar to me and over and over I keep wondering if it had always been this way but I had not noticed while I was firmly living in a fairytale world of my own creation.   I drove a Fiat across 4 countries this year and learned to parallel park on narrow winding streets that lead...

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everything I know about fully owning my own power

everything I know about fully owning my own power

How powerful is it to know that you are the creator of your own life? It’s pretty profound when that fully lands.   Your intuitive ability to manifest your physical reality is based on your energetic sensitivity and intelligence. Everything that happens in the world is founded on the electromagnetic operating system. We are a part of it too, even though it is not something we can make sense of with our logic. This way of operating is subtle and beyond the basics of the physical realm. Yet we do it, every day.   One of the biggest transformations that happened in my life was when I realised I could consciously choose the perspective or “filter” through which I view the world. Not only did my tangible reality change, but my face and body even changed. One perception is overly critical, judgmental, separate from, and playing offence to the world as we experience it. Another perspective is appreciative, compassionate, inclusive of and acting as if this is all part of a master plan.   I started to pay attention to the innate ways that I interacted with the energetics, our electromagnetic operating system and came to develop a 6-step manifesting framework. Everything I have done, created, achieved,...

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