Are You Carrying Other's Karma? {What You're Responsible For + What NOT}

It seems that everyone I have been speaking to in the past week, including myself, is in some way, learning lessons about distinguishing between our own and others’ karma. It is so common, especially for women, to take responsibility for other people’s “stuff” and carry their burdens in an effort to help, and simultaneously escape dealing with our own.

Many of us have imprinting that relates to our self-worth and how it is connected to how we serve others by taking on their burdens. Imagine the freedom you will feel when you let those burdens go back to their rightful owners. This does not mean becoming cold and hard and uncaring. It simply means disconnecting from what you cannot accomplish anyway and sealing up the energy leak of feeling responsible for the burdens of others.

This is probably the most difficult area of clarity and confusion because of certain karmic agreements and choices that manifest as commitments. Trying to protect others from themselves interferes with their growth process and only prolongs the inevitable.

Neutrality around other peoples’ issues that are not your responsibility but that you happen to be around, is extremely important. You can provide a supportive container but you cannot dictate the outcome of their process. By the same token, your process is your responsibility and no one else can do your growth or your process for you. The issue then of responsibility is a 2-way street of allowing others to take responsibility for their lives and you take responsibility for yours.

WHAT YOU’RE RESPONSIBLE FOR:

Your own health and healing.

  • No one can heal you but they can help you heal. And your health is your responsibility. You always have the power to choose whom you listen to and how you support your health.

 

Your choices and decisions.

  • No one can make or force you to choose or decide something you don’t want to. If you feel pressured by another person’s agenda to make a certain choice, examine their motivation and then make your own choice which may or may not be the same.
  • Your agreements or commitments to do something.
  • You are responsible for following through with what you agreed to do. If you can’t, then your responsibility is to delegate appropriately. This is especially true in projects and partnerships.

 

Your relationships.

  • Whatever you get yourself into is yours to deal with, to nurture, to experience, to complete, and to initiate. Your relationships will be tested as many relationships suffer from projections and expectations about providing something that should be the responsibility of each individual.

 

Your personal environment.

  • Beauty, clutter, orderliness, ambience, etc. are all your responsibility. Ask for and get help if you need to. What happens in the greater environment is also your responsibility in the collective sense. Just an awareness of this is an important step in taking responsibility for the planet and its evolution.

 

Your karma.

  • No one else will do it for you. This is a good time to examine your personal karma and where your responsibility begins and ends. Sometimes it is difficult to know when karma is complete and when a burden can be released. The key is neutrality. When you can become neutral, you can release it.

 

Your body.

  • This is an area where people give their power away. You have the final say and the choices are yours of how you want to take of your body. You can get help and guidance, but it is your body and no one else’s. Be responsible.

 

Your ego.

  • This is a good one. No counsellor or psychologist will fix you. They will only offer guidance on how you can work more positively with your ego. There is a lot of personal growth possible in the area of responsibility. Denial of addictions and ego-driven behaviours may be acknowledged in the act of taking responsibility. The task is yours alone.

 

Your experiences.

  • Your experiences are yours. No one else will ever experience the world as you do. Honour and appreciate that about yourself and take responsibility for how you experience life. If you experience it through suffering or hardship, you may want to take responsibility for changing that experience to one of joy and satisfaction.

 

Your happiness.

  • Your happiness is not dependent on how others love or treat you. It is your responsibility to be happy from within. Don’t expect your partner, your children, your boss, your family, your community or anyone else to make you happy. Only you can make you happy. Find a way to really embody this responsibility to yourself.

 

Your projects.

  • You can collaborate and get support, but if it is your project, you are responsible for the people you bring in, holding the vision and the details, and delegating tasks appropriately when needed.

 

Cleaning up your own messes.

  • If you messed up, clean it up without judgment. Forgive, apologize and move on. Don’t hold on to blame, guilt or shame. They are energy leaks.

 

Correcting your mistakes.

  • Take responsibility. Repair when you can, learn from what did not work, and move on.

 

Personal endings and completions.

  • When you know something is finished, don’t wait for someone else to point it out. Take responsibility and empower your completion by ending it well.

 

Personal beginnings.

  • Don’t just end up in a situation by default. Take responsibility and really choose the beginning of something like a project, a job, a place to live, a relationship, or a process. End old things. Sometimes you need to end something before you start something new.

 

Personal growth and change.

  • If you know something needs to change, don’t wait for change to come to you. Take responsibility and take action and be proactive with your change. This is especially true for those of you in job or relationship situations where you are afraid to make the change you know is necessary. Don’t be afraid to be the first one to take the action you both know is inevitable. It will only empower you in the end and is the responsible thing to do.

 

Your Intentions and Dreams.

  • These should be yours and not someone else’s. Take responsibility for dreaming your own dreams and setting your own intentions for yourself and not for someone else.

 

Your prosperity and abundance.

  • This is a potential area of lots of blame and martyrdom which disempowers you. Your abundance is up to you. Your prosperity will follow. Take responsibility.

 

Your own behaviour and reactions.

  • If something is up, it is yours to deal with. Watch projections and accept the responsibility that your reactions are not based on someone else’s actions but on something within you that needs attention.

 


WHAT YOU’RE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR:

Another’s healing and health.

  • You can only hold the container and provide the tools.
  • Another person’s choices or decisions.
  • These include family members and your children when they become adults. Refrain from needing to be right and trying to protect another from choices you would not make for yourself. Don’t give advice unless you are asked.

 

Another’s happiness or fulfilment in life.

  • This is especially true in relationships. Your partner’s happiness is NOT your responsibility.

 

Other peoples’ karma.

  • If you take responsibility for this you will be excessively burdened. Let people handle their own karma and don’t interfere. It is not responsible.

 

Fixing another’s mistakes, messes or ego-driven actions.

  • This is a form of enabling and does not give the other person any power to learn from their actions and to be responsible for the consequences.

 

Another’s experience as being positive or negative.

  • Everyone experiences life differently. You cannot dictate or be responsible for how someone chooses to hold their experience. Even if you do not understand it, don’t argue with it. It is not your responsibility.

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