Over the past month, I have been sharing pieces of my heart and soul with you as an invitation to the next extension of the work that I am doing. After 8+ years of working with, teaching and mentoring 1,000s of souls, I am offering you a methodological insight into the workings of how I do it. The Mentor Training program closes enrolments at midnight tonight. This is your last chance.
Across this very creative period of time, I have shared my perspective, context and the many journies I have been on, that have led me to this moment here. Let me reiterate them for you. Just in case you missed one, or want to reread another.
I was fired by my first therapist / How I learned emotional fluency — a story that led me to really understand how to communicate with an open and vulnerable heart, and thereby create space for those around me to do the same.
it’s time to live in integrity & the time is now — a short excerpt from an email I sent to a private client. I had a feeling that someone else, maybe you, needs to read these words too.
come together — I am on an assignment to reclaim this sense of coming together. Teaching, learning and growing together, both in the physical world and in the digital. We live in a time with more access to information and different types of tribes than ever before. We can find our people across thousands of kilometres of land, seas and cultures. We can discover more in an hour on google than ever before. But what is missing is the container to hold all these pieces together. A space where we are seen, met and held through our evolution and integration.
the difference between mentoring, coaching & therapy — Self-actualisation doesn’t involve perfection or things always going smoothly. You can become self-actualized and still face difficulties. But it’s not something you can do alone. You will always be influenced by the level of guidance, support and mentorship you receive.
10 steps to figure out your ‘thing’ — We have jointly decided that the status quo just won’t do. No. Thank you. Because we know… We are here to bring each other home. We are here to perform tiny miracles. Every day. But what if you don’t know where to begin? What if… you don’t know how to bring your things to life? So that you are doing your thing and you are working?
life, anew — I’ve realised that the real work is in clearing the way. Always. It seems counterintuitive, doesn’t it? That the only way to move forward is to stop and look around at what we have always done and decide whether that’s actually what we want in our lives. And then to clear the path through facing our truth, burning it down, clearing the blocks/beliefs/ideologies that we then recognise as false.
reading between the lines — There is so much happening within and without us. Subtle, nuanced, ethereal energetic shifts that our neural pathways can only catch as a side glance and our mother-tongue languages miss altogether. But it is here. An inner knowing, a constant wide awake and watchful awareness for these mysterious that we are born into bone and flesh of. When you are interacting with another, you are offering them an opportunity to interpret their personal reality — how they have been shaped and defined — through the mirror of your presence and Being. One energetic sequence activates and reflects another. A relationship holier than words but defined by the limitations of communication.
P.S. This is your last chance to join TMT.
We have jointly decided that the status quo just won’t do.
Because we know…
We are here to bring each other home.
We are here to perform tiny miracles.
But what if you don’t know where to begin? What if… you don’t know how to bring your things to life? So that you are doing your thing and you are working?
1. Ask the people around you “What is the tiny miracle you need?” “What would make life 100 x better right now?”
Maybe they would say…
: A new house/apartment/office
: Getting fit again after having kids
: Sing my favourite song at my wedding
: Feeling safe and connected to my body
: Starting my pastries and pilates business
: Carving more time out for family/community/creativity
: Writing my first article/blog post/newsletter/book
: Cooking healthy meals for me and my friends
: Learning how to read my tarot cards well
: Rekindling my love and sex life
: More money in the bank
2. Get a piece of paper & a pen. Make a list.
: What skills, talents and experiences do I have that could make those miracles happen for those people?
: What can I do, that comes so easily to me that I’d do it for free, to help them?
: Where do I need permission to think + act, outside the box?
3. Choose something from your list. Decide, “This is my thing now.”
4. Create a service/offering/consultation system/class/course/product to solve their problems.
Serve up the exact flavour of “miracle” that your people are wishing for.
Not the miracle you wish they were asking for.
The miracle they’re actually needing right now.
Create little miracles. Or big ones. Daily.
5. Go tell them.
: “I love sourcing the perfect home for people. Let me help you to do EXACTLY that…”
: “I hear you. I really abandoned my fitness when I first had kids too. Let’s change that, step by step…”
: “Thanks for sharing. Did you know that I’m a professional jazz singer? Here’s something that will help…”
: Omg, I completely lost trust in my body after (insert traumatic event) but I’ve since rebuilt it. Let me show you how.”
: Did you know that I support brick-and-mortar business in getting started after having several of my own?”
And so on… you get the gist.
6. Start offering your service/offering/consultation system/class/course/product to anyone who might need them.
Ask for referrals.
Treat everyone with tremendous love, kindness and appreciation.
7. At first, no one will care or notice you. Also, you will probably not be very good at it. Keep doing your job anyway.
8. Incrementally increase your pricing.
As your experience and expertise expand your value does too.
Ensure that your pricing always reflects the amount of love and energy you pour into your thing.
9. Keep going. Business is never, ever an overnight success.
Stay consistent and remember why you are doing this.
To make a difference. To help others. To create tiny miracles.
Do that, and you’ll never have to convince people to work with you or buy from you.
Soon they will begin telling you why your ‘thing’ is so high-quality, insightful and stupendously valuable.
10. Celebrate. You have figured and are doing out your ‘thing’.
Know that your ‘thing’ will change over time as you do.
Allow yourself and your thing to ‘evolve’ in response to the needs and desires of your people.
Remember that life is long and all we ever need is to help each other create tiny miracles.
Want to be surrounded by other women, like you, doing their thing? So it doesn’t feel so isolating and scary, and when it does you can share it with those that really get it?
Join me, us, and them for The Mentor Training Program. A 6-month container to finally do your thing.
We begin in April.
“I feel like I found my people!” she burst into tears looking around at the Zoom-circle of women smiling back at her hands on hearts. Eyes shining with emotion we all nodded in agreement. It was the final call for Her Way 2021. We had come together and found each other.
She echoed the profound ache of every human. The deeply honed instinct to find people with common interests, aims and values, with whom you can share your journey, and feel safe, held, supported, guided, mentored and understood.
The question “What is my purpose and what is the purpose of life?” is a modern one. A reflection of the paramount disconnection that we feel from life and each other. For the most part of 30,000 years, we have come together in small communities and existed as an extension of the natural world around us living the answer to that question. Beholden custodians of the physical world we took care of Earth and she took care of us.
Our purpose is precisely that. To have the living, breathing, tangible experience of being alive, being a part of the natural world and tending to it. It’s a psychedelic trip of seeing ourselves mirrored by the world around us and yet also being of it. Something we have not managed to evade, even today. Though for many of us the detachment we feel from it is much more real.
One of the things I am strongly yearning for is a return to the village, the circle, a strong sense of community. I spoke to my experience with feeling lonely and without community in my podcast episode ‘redefine depression & anxiety caused by loneliness‘ and how this is a new phenomenon in my life, but one that crushes me frequently. My yearning to come together with others with a shared cause is stronger than ever.
There was once a time when we would come together and contemplate the forest floor or the field or the meadow of sweet herbs and flowers and name the plants to each other by way of use: edible, bitter, poisonous, healing. Knowledge that was passed from woman to woman culminating in the encyclopedic plant knowledge we have today. This sharing of knowledge nourished, saved and restored lives across centuries. It was a form of mentorship.
There was a time once when we would come together under the guidance of elders that would tell stories of the world and its nature, our ourselves and our nature, and how we are one and the same. They counselled us on the simple yet profound mysteries of life: as above so below, as without so within. The human experience from the wisened perspective of all the all-seeing crones and her forebearers gave us insight into how to coexist with each other and the natural world.
There was once a time when we would come together in the centre of a village or town and turn it into the marketplace, trading wares, skills, stories; entertain, where we would hold and scold each others’ children; and teach, offer and share whatever we had. Because we knew that together we are stronger.
I am on an assignment to reclaim this sense of coming together. Teaching, learning and growing together, both in the physical world and in the digital. We live in a time with more access to information and different types of tribes than ever before. We can find our people across thousands of kilometres of land, seas and cultures. We can discover more in an hour on google than ever before. But what is missing is the container to hold all these pieces together. A space where we are seen, met and held through our evolution and integration.
It’s why I created The (Level 1 & 2) Mentor Training programs.
Mentoring returns us to the ancient art of sharing wisdom, knowledge and skills. It used to be a natural part of our lives. We are all intuitively drawn to certain things that become a defining theme, profession or craft for us. These unique strengths can be shared and offered to others that can then grow from and build on them. What effective mentorship really requires is emotional intelligence, self-growth, honesty and love. The Mentor Training is a 6-month live program with a mind-heart-intuition approach, to learn the method and cohesive framework to become a skilled and impactful mentor.
If you feel drawn, there’s something here for you. Let it simmer within you and when you are ready, join us. We can’t wait to meet you.
Discover The Mentor Training here.
So many people are awakening right now… coming to terms with the fact that the lies we have been sold all our lives, in fact, aren’t important at all. Materialism doesn’t matter. We are all equal. Happiness comes from within. Love is all that matters.
But we live in a world that keeps telling us that our status and value in life is defined by the things we own and the position we hold in society. And that if you disregard these concepts you will be outcast, cold and alone.
It makes integrating and living in alignment with the insights of our awakening inside the world as it currently exists near impossible. We begin to feel disconnected and have to defy society to maintain our sense of right and good in the world.
When we have an intrinsic belief in how good the world could be if these superficial, shallow values were no longer placed high on superficial, shallow pedestals, we begin to wonder how we can create a world where our insights and awakening will be embraced and maintained. A world where we can remain connected to these higher truths in such a way that we can easily access and experience them.
Wanting to answer this precise predicament was what drove me to create the business I now have. I want to create a world, a safe space, within which no one could prevent me from living aligned to my beliefs and values.
There’s an entire generation of ‘girl-bosses’ who have bought into patriarchy strategically reframing hustle-culture and burnout in business as ’empowering’ under the guise of a ‘feminist’ movement. They have taken that concept and then sold it to other ‘girl-bosses’ who then sold it to more ‘girl-bosses’. Which sneakily appears like a multi-level marketing scheme…
Capitalism tells us that our work and the vehicle that is our businesses should always be increasing in every way. But my business is its own entity with its own rhythms and cycles and waves of being on and off. Forcing myself into a linear model of productivity doesn’t work for me.
I don’t buy it.
My business runs in seasons of work and output.
Here is what I KNOW and the 6 principles I run my business on:
If things feel off it’s because they are.
When I don’t know what to do life/the universe makes it really easy: things are aligned if I feel happy, open free, expansive.
If I don’t feel those things, I wait and look at what needs to be resolved, changed or healed before I move forward.
I will wait as long as I need to. It takes time to bring what I want to bring earthside. It has to have integrity and be embodied.
It all needs to feel easy. The moment it doesn’t — and easy means easeful and in full fluid flow with momentum, it doesn’t mean there’s no work or sometimes no long hours invested in it — I need to step away, check in and patiently wait for redirection.
I never ever promote or sell anything that I don’t personally adore. My work is pieces of my soul turned into things for you.
Things don’t happen on my timeline and I trust my business entity to guide me every step of the way.
It’s why I created Her Way.
A year-long container where we can maintain the connection to our innate values that remind us of what is really true and meaningful in the world, facilitated by me.
A way to work and run businesses where you are supported to implicitly trust your innate instinct, that inner wisdom that rises within us anytime we willingly are still enough to listen. Because within you exists a powerful vision of the way things could be, should be, would be.
Her Way begins in April 2022. Join us.
“I think that’s the end of our time together.” She said peering over her nose at me as she closed her notebook. I was 19. In the third session with my therapist. “Is she firing me?” I thought, incredulous. We had not even scratched the surface.
“Why?” I asked. “Because you won’t open up to me. You haven’t told me anything. You’re not willing to reveal yourself to me.”
She was right. I wanted her to dig. To ask the right questions to unbound my heart and words. I wanted her to give voice to the frozen emotions in my throat. I wanted her to read my mind and my body and tell me what was going on. I didn’t want to have to tell her. She couldn’t bring me to speak or open up. I didn’t know how to.
I didn’t know. I had zero emotional literacy. I didn’t know how to drop my guard. How to be vulnerable and share. I lacked the emotional fluency and the connection to my inner world to express what I had repressed my entire life because I had learned it was not safe to do so. I needed to go to therapy to go to therapy.
I grew up in a dysfunctional home environment with a troubling parent-child dynamic. My emotional needs were not met, my feelings were dismissed, and I took on adult levels of maturity to “compensate” for my parents’ behaviour. While I cultivated strengths such as self-reliance and independence along the way I had no ability or familiarity with holding space for, acknowledging and articulating my emotions or feelings.
A few years later, when I started studying psychology, I became self-aware of how numb I was. How I couldn’t access how I was feeling moment-to-moment the way that others could. I wanted to change.
How I learned emotional fluency.
1. Learn the language of my body. I had to teach my nervous system that it is safe to feel by constantly checking in with my body and self-soothing if things felt “off”. To begin with the only emotions I could comprehend were “happy” and “sad”. So “off” could be a myriad of things. But I noticed subtle shifts would occur in my body in response to life. Consistent patterns of bodily sensations are associated with each of the six basic emotions: anger, fear, disgust, happiness, surprise and sadness. Emotional feelings are associated with discrete yet partially overlapping bodily sensations: decreased limb sensations with sadness, increased sensations in the upper limbs with anger, sensations around the throat and the digestive system with disgust, sensations in the chest with surprise and fear, and enhanced sensations all over the body with happiness.
2. Name the emotions. After a while, I could start to name what feeling meant what emotion. So I would say to myself “I feel anger.” “I feel sad.” “I feel disappointed.” “I feel joyful.” “I feel hopeful.” and so on. Being emotionally literate is multifaceted. One part is to be able to name emotions really specifically: to differentiate between similar emotions, like feeling sad versus overwhelmed. And beyond that, it’s super helpful to know the profile of each emotion: to be able to define it and understand its message. Sadness is a feeling of loss of something I care about, and it helps clarify what’s important to me.
3. Observe without trying to fix, change or judge what I am feeling. A big part of healing and learning emotional literacy was simply holding space for my feelings as they arose. At first, they overflowed, tumbling out of me like a rushing waterfall but once all the repressed emotions had been held and acknowledged they trickled down to simple responses to the present moment. The way I did that is to name my emotion(s), and then simply let that be for a few seconds. I would let myself feel what I was feeling: be frustrated, angry, or sad. We have been socialized to think of some emotions as bad, and because of that, we tend to try to push them away as soon as we feel them. We too often get stuck in an antagonistic relationship with our emotions, thinking of them as bad and something that we should suppress. But at the end of the day, emotions, even challenging ones like anger, are data. They exist to help us.
4. Use my emotions as valuable information. Emotions are neurohormones that we release as a response to our perceptions about the world. They focus our attention and motivate us toward a specific course of action. What emotions are here to do is give us cues on how to live in an authentic, integral and intuitive way. Amongst many other things, they teach us where our boundaries are, what is important to us and who we feel trust and love for.
I hope that no one is ever sent away because of their lack of emotional literacy again. This is why this topic forms an important part of The Mentor Training program that starts in April. I will teach you the skills that I wish my first therapist had access to giving me when I was so desperate but unable to voice my feelings and emotions. Click here to learn more and join The Level 1 & 2 Mentor Training.
I hesitate as I write to you today… I’ve deleted and rewritten this first sentence five times already, unsure of what to say, what not to say. What’s true, honest, kind, nuanced enough. Maybe it’s also ok to just be imperfect and human right now.
Currently, I have friends who have lost their homes or are existing in isolated little islands of land cut off from anyone else in NNSW and SEQLD in Australia due to floods. I have friends who have been standing and sleeping on the steps of the Parliament House in Wellington, New Zealand peacefully requesting the right to continue their lives and businesses without being inoculated. Until a police force brutally moved them along. I have friends who recently did the same in Canada. I have friends, both Russian and Ukrainian, who feel heartbroken and helpless standing by watching as a man with much unresolved trauma and too much power wield deadly threats.
I am aware that these sorts of heartbreaking things have been happening in lots of places for a long time. I am aware that in my privilege I only care to think of them when they affect those that I love. I am aware that there is more that I don’t know and might be dismissing or failing to address. More than anything I am aware that as a human I have a limited capacity to understand or hold space for it all. Like all of you, I am doing my best.
Here’s what I think helps.
Appreciating what we have. Really truly holding close to our hearts the safety of our homes, the love of our nearest and dearest, the beauty and relief that we can find in nature, with furry friends, in creative pursuits. Having deep compassion for suffering. Acknowledging that life isn’t fair. Without allowing it to make us bitter or hardened, but rather softer, more flexible and willing to mitigate the unfairness. Responding with what we have available to us. Skills, resources, prayer, meditation, curiosity, wonderment, validation, acknowledgement, love.
Life is a strange, wild, messy, beautiful ride.
I’m so glad I’m here. I wish I read the fine print when I signed up.
This moment that I send this email marks the New Moon in Pisces, the last New Moon of this astrological year that ends in 18 days on March 20 with the Equinox. A refresh, and an opportunity to refocus, a new astrological year, perhaps a new everything. Accompanied comes a drive and inspiration for us to commit to a new path. In love, in our professional lives, and more.
I had made a pact with myself, that with this moment, I would share the two things that I have been deep in the creative trenches with for the past two months. But ultimately have been years in the making. Because they are the expression of the kind of world I want to live in. I’m going to quietly leave them here with you now, today, and then circle back again with more in a week or so.
Her Way — A 12-month community for women in business. Though it is never only about business. It’s sisterhood. It’s healing shame and fear. It’s facing fears with courage. it’s overcoming cycles of conditioning. it’s choosing to be of service from your heart. It’s transcending your old normal and replacing it with more, better, easier, kinder. It’s believing in yourself. And it’s a close-knit community of women believing in you too.
The Level 1 & 2 Mentor Training — A 6-month live program with a mind-heart-intuition approach, to learn the method and cohesive framework to become a skilled and impactful mentor.
Wherever you find yourself in the world, under whatever circumstances I hope you are safe and well. You are in my heart. And if there’s something that I could do for you to soothe your tender soul respond in the comments section below. I will do my best.