by Vienda | 6 Jul 2024 | Biz + Blogging, Books, Creativity, General, Intuition + Manifestation, personal update, Psychology + Soul
my life of “it’s enough” instead of “I want more”
We’ve swallowed the lie whole. It’s in our bones now.
Our egos have been programmed into the structure.
This relentless pursuit of more. Always more. Your benchmark keeps changing. You never reach the finish line. The wanting never ends.
In this capitalist world that constantly whispers “more, more, more”, standing still and saying “I have enough” feels like a rebellion. A quiet revolution of the soul.
At a party given by a billionaire on Shelter Island, Kurt Vonnegut informs his pal, Joseph Heller, that their host, a hedge fund manager, had made more money in a single day than Heller had earned from his wildly popular novel Catch-22 over its whole history.
Heller responds, “Yes, but I have something he will never have — enough.”
enough kms/steps walked
enough friendships
enough discipline
enough money
enough clothes
enough love
enough joy
enough
There is a certain magic in embracing enough.
It’s the moment you stop struggling against the current and simply float. Suddenly, you realise the river’s been carrying you all along.
As we meet mid-year, I’m learning to trust in the existing abundance.
I’m tuning into the rhythm of sufficiency that beats in every cell of my body. It’s a gentle pulse that says, “You are enough. You have enough. This moment is enough.”
In the soft light of dawn, in the quiet moments between breaths, in the space between thoughts — that’s where I’m finding my enough. It’s not a destination, but a way of being — a lens through which to view the world.
A life of abundance disguised as simplicity. A life of richness measured not in things, but in moments. A life of recognising that the cup isn’t half full or half empty – it’s overflowing, if only we have eyes to see it.
In this noisy world that’s always clamouring for more, let’s be the ones who dare to whisper “enough”. Let’s be the ones who find infinity in a grain of sand, and eternity in a wildflower.
Because when we know we are enough, we have enough, we do enough – that’s when we truly begin to live.
A THOUGHT EXERCISE:
Make a practice of writing your list of enough.
Not could it be 10x better – but does it feel in your heart like enough?
* Family — Enough
* Friends — Enough
* Home — Enough
* Work — Enough
* Partner — Enough
* Mentors — Enough
* Memories — Enough
* Blessings — Enough
* Recognition — Enough
* Opportunities — Enough
* Financial independence — Enough
by Vienda | 22 Jun 2024 | Intuition + Manifestation, Travel + Freedom
who am I when I am just looping in this endless existential crisis where I’m not sure what is real and what I want to pursue anymore
Do you want to do the talking?
Ok. I reply moving in front of her and approaching the door manned by four people with two clipboards between them.
We’re just crossing names off the list, one of them tells us.
Actually, we aren’t on the list. I smile.
I am a terrible liar but excel at making the truth really fun and compelling
We were in our flat up there. I point at the top floor of a set of late Victorian-era mansion blocks overlooking where we are standing. And we saw the party and heard the band playing and decided to invite ourselves.
That’s a good one! One of them laughed in response.
The four gathered and discussed options. Finally one looks up questioningly at his compadres, Ross left two tickets at the door for her friends but we don’t think they’re coming maybe you can have them.
I know Ross! Marina exclaims.
Yeah, sure wink wink! Someone replies laughing. No really! She is my neighbour!
At this point, we’re both cracking up at how absurd it all is – two adult women attempting to crash a party. Ok, well make sure you go for a swim, they accede. We will, we brought our bikinis! I reply with a grin. We all laughed and were ushered into the Lido summer party.
We stripped into bikinis by the pool and saunaed and cold plunged and saunaed and cold plunged again until they closed the pool and got dressed and watched the live jazz and funk band and drank cheap cold white wine out of little plastic cups and danced.
It’s easy to be happy, now. I turn to Marina. I just need more of this in my life. More spontaneity, more risk, more playfulness, less rigidity.
A few hours earlier we had been lounging on her sofa overlooking the Lido in which party we were now enmeshed into talking about the happiest times in our lives and how things felt different now.
I’m fine. Everything is fine. I have incredible friendships, I have enough money and a nice place to live. Fresh food local food is abundant. I actively count my blessings and choose to see the beauty of life. But I don’t feel that euphoric feeling of love and joy and excitement for life like I used to. And that makes me sad. And maybe I am a little depressed. But mostly I feel like I am just looping in this endless existential crisis where I’m not sure what is real and what I want to pursue anymore.
I have had so many moments in the past couple of years crushed by a distinct wave of lack of ambition that sucks the oxygen out of my lungs and makes me wonder what I am doing. The flavour of this feeling is akin to my burnout climax in 2022/23 but I am starting to realise I am not burned out by my work but by the accelerating demands of the modern Western world.
In this incredibly dystopian version of capitalism we are being told more is better. We’re told to push harder, to take as much as we can from anything and anyone to get ahead. No wonder we’re left feeling lost. Deep down, this isn’t who we are as humans. We’re not built to be endless consumption machines.
Let’s have a reality check.
This “take take take” approach comes from LACK, not ABUNDANCE. It is a lack of resources. It’s a lack of abundance. The system we live in which is ‘growth at all costs’ is the antithesis of abundance.
A personal reality check.
Until 2020, I’d skillfully sidestepped this reality. Stranded in the UK after my life in Mexico, I found myself sliding down a slippery slope of overwork. The rush of financial success was intoxicating, and with little else to occupy me, I dove in headfirst.
Because what else was I to do and honestly, the taste of financial success and public validation and money flowing in so readily was addictive and fun, and what else was there to do?
And there I lost myself…
In that spontaneous pool party, we crashed, surrounded by strangers who quickly became friends, I rediscovered it. That spark was right there, effortlessly within reach. Life’s magic reveals itself in these kismet unplanned moments, when the future feels ripe with possibility and human connections bloom unexpectedly.
As the last notes from the jazz band faded, the lead guitarist approached us. I love your energy! he grinned. You brought this party to life with your dancing!
We giggled, confessing our impromptu adventure: watching from a high-up flat, deciding to crash the event, sweet-talking our way past the door.
I knew I liked you before, he laughed, but now I love you.
Abundance has a language and it’s not money. It’s relationships, health, experiences, and depth… because what we want at the depths of our souls is to be humbled.
We are drawn to experiences that humble us because they remind us of a profound truth: we are already complete. Embracing this completeness – recognising that we have, do, and are ENOUGH — is a radical act.
A quiet rebellion against a world that constantly tells us we need more.
Beneath the surface, there’s a deeper loss and longing — a profound ache — that no new job or shiny purchase could ever soothe.
What we truly crave is a foundation that is steadfast and real. We are looking for substance. We are looking for something we can place our feet on that won’t fall away.
We all have these big existential fears because we are terrified of failing at life. So we protect ourselves by contracting, fitting in, grabbing more, and trying harder.
These past few days, I’ve been retracing the steps that brought me to this trajectory of my life.
I do not like it here.
I find myself ensnared in the relentless machinery of Western capitalism, a system that’s stealthily invaded even the havens I once sought refuge in.
I feel uneasy existing in a world over-saturated with screens and social media. As someone who was once eager to vulnerably share myself without hesitation, I have begun to feel the burden of strangers’ unflinching projections and expectations.
What’s more, I have had to come to grips with the ephemeral nature of my digital presence.
Every word I’ve penned online hangs by a thread, at the mercy of faceless corporations. At any moment, they could wipe away my work and art, erasing years of my life with a simple keystroke.
I have returned to the value of physical spaces that must be balanced with a career built on a digital footprint.
At this juncture, I return to a few simple questions:
What makes me come alive?
What brings me joy?
What do I live for?
The answers come readily. They are simple and easy.
Unexpectedly, the benchmark does not keep changing. What I want is less rather than more.
But they do not fit into my society’s deemed trajectory of a ‘happy’ and ‘fulfilling’ traditional life path. That’s challenging for me, sometimes.
There exists within me a very human part that yearns for social acceptance and validation. On some level, I still fear rejection from the tribe. A tribe I have disowned many times before.
by Vienda | 21 Sep 2023 | Intuition + Manifestation, Psychology + Soul
When we don’t have enough money, enough love, enough joy or pleasure… when our core needs are out of balance, what do we do?
I spend a lot of time looking for ways to bring harmony and balance into my life. I can hold a greater capacity for more, bigger, beautiful, evolving and confronting experiences because I reach for the medicine of opposites.
It’s a concept that originates in both Ayurveda, the principle that “everything can be medicine” and Traditional Chinese Medicine, the basic idea of the ‘yin- yang theory’.
Ayurveda recognises that our daily choices and lifestyle habits have the potential to influence our overall balance and promote homeostasis. Like increases like, and opposites cancel each other out. It is natural to warm ourselves when it is cold, to moisturise our skin when it is dry, to eat cooling foods when we are hot, and to need more rest when we are stressed.
TCM nods to the two natural, complementary and contradictory forces in our universe, the principle of opposite polarity and duality. The meaning of yin and yang is that the universe is governed by a cosmic duality, and sets off two opposing and complementing principles or cosmic energies that can be observed in nature. Yin and yang elements come in pairs. The moon and the sun, female and male, dark and bright, cold and hot, passive and active, and so on. It is believed that to be healthy, one needs to balance the yin and yang forces within one’s own body.
This is not only true for our bodies.
It’s true for our minds, thoughts and as a result life experiences as well.
At its very core the medicine of opposites states that all is energy and all energy needs to be in balance to achieve well-being. The theory is all-inclusive, intuitive and seated in your own inner knowing.
Everything has inherent qualities of polarity in its energy.
The magnificent miracle of life is that we are essentially tiny oceans bound by skin somehow walking around having conversations, inventing smartphones, writing on the internet, reading memes and spending far too long watching cats do weird stuff.
The water in our bodies is balanced out by the hardness of our bones. That’s the medicine of opposites at work. Otherwise, we would be highly sophisticated slugs.
This medicine of opposites plays out in every sphere of life. We are living in a world of interdependence.
Applying the medicine of opposites to our challenges, how do we intentionally harness this cosmic principle to bring about positive changes and in essence, more harmony in our lives?
When we don’t have enough money, enough love, enough joy or pleasure, a sense of direction, stable health and wellness, a life that we adore, the perception of belonging, feeling connected to something larger than us… when our core needs are out of balance, how do we find that balance again?
We do the opposite.
— When there’s something we want to avoid, we lean into it.
— When we feel financial lack, we seek abundance in our lives.
— When our intuition has abandoned us, we repair our connection with it.
— When we want more of something, we find out where it already exists.
— When creatively stuck, we don’t give up, we summon our inner muse.
— When life feels like it’s ending, we recognise the cyclical nature of it.
I teach the concept and application of the medicine of opposites in my work. It’s the primary principle of my approach in life. Life topics covering: money, creativity, intuition, manifesting, starting life all over again (renewal), and running a heart-led online business…
by Vienda | 27 Jul 2023 | Intuition + Manifestation, Travel + Freedom
It’s been two months since I left the tiny bubble of Mallorca and tore open my life for anything conceivable to enter. In that time a lot has happened.
I woke up rolling amongst sheets and pillows this morning, my cat stretched out against my back in his feline slumber, a cool summer humidity hanging in the air. Last night I had promised myself to take an early morning walk around the village I call home for the last few days so I step out onto the aged hardwood floor and softly pad barefoot down into the kitchen to make warm lemon water, refill the cat bowl with food and open the back door to the garden.
A whoosh of fresh sticky air from a night of opaque rain infuses the room as I fill the kettle with just enough water for my drink — a supposed energy-saving trick a friend of mine had shown me — and pour some filtered water and then hand-squeeze half a lemon into my thermos mug while I wait to fill the rest with hot water.
Back upstairs with my mug, I wash my face and spray it with lavender hydrosol. The only thing that keeps my sensitive skin from flaring up in protest against the constant climate changes I render it to. A light cover of bb cream, mascara and blush later I continue sipping on my morning lemon concoction as I shimmy into an old pair of Levi’s that have been worn too loose from wearing and a soft grey men’s sweater and pick up my phone to go back downstairs to slip on brown loafers, pick up my basket with purse and keys waiting inside, coax my cat back in before locking the back door and depart from the front.
It is a grey July day. Not so much summer as I know it but I appreciate the rainforest vibes of this green British isle while the world is burning in other parts.
Morning walks before the world is fully alive bring about a different kind of peace. Ones that make my thoughts feel clearer and more certain than at other times.
As I walk I remember the panic attack I had on the northern line tube in London this day a week ago.
As soon as I stepped into that car I felt it. It was hot, the air stale and stifling. I could not, did not want to, breathe it in. The people around us, big and filling up all the space. My companion watches me freeze and recoil at my environment, panicked and unable to move or communicate. He asks me if I want to get off and I say “No, I just want to get there,” as I gasp for small pockets of air wishing I could hold my breath until I can come back up from underground. At our station, I rush out through the barriers focused on the open space and trees outside and cross the road without looking back. Finally free, I immediately burst into big, heavy, body-shaking sobs.
Removed from the intensity of that moment on my walk I notice how sensitive my body is to subtle emotional changes and thoughts as they stream through my subconscious.
On the surface level, my response was simply a small moment of claustrophobia, enhanced by the heat and crowds and the very strong coffee I had had earlier adding a backdrop of anxiety to my day. Deeper, it was a cosmic blend of fear, feeling out of control, overwhelm and grief bubbling over from within me that I could no longer hold in.
It’s been two months since I left the tiny bubble of Mallorca and tore open my life for anything conceivable to enter. In that time a lot has happened.
I have moved twice and am about to move a third time, my cat in tow. I met someone and am slowly falling in love. He has asked me to move to Bangkok with him on account of his work. Which I am willing to do. And with that, I am grieving: a) the end of a life that was entirely my own for the past few years; b) having to relocate my cat with a friend for some time and being parted from him; and c) feeling a lot of fear and loss of control because it’s all happened so fast. Meanwhile, continuing my work with private clients, my 4-week writing course, and my annual mentor training that is opening again for enrolments in September. It’s a lot.
I stop to pick up a flat white and flirt with the cute barista at my favourite coffee shop, and then walk through town to pick up raspberries, strawberries and cherries at the market stall before heading down to the river.
Change always takes a toll and I have a lot to integrate.
Two people choosing to merge their lives to run parallel to each other is imperfect and messy. Each has their own set of habits and coping mechanisms. When emotions run high our uglier parts are revealed and it takes tremendous courage, compassion, respect and patience to hold space for one another. Relationships are enriching and challenging.
I walk past the narrow boats and then take a sharp right up the hill back to the cathedral that dates back to 600 A.D. and a gothic time of medieval mystery.
I know everything will turn out exactly as it must. I need to get out of my way and let go of the illusionary notion that I am in any way in control. I need to breathe space and trust into what is happening and remember that I asked for all of this in my dreams and prayers. I need to remember what I am.
The universe expressing itself through the kismet life form that I am.
by Vienda | 25 Apr 2018 | Intuition + Manifestation
While I touch on the importance of self-care in my new course IntuiMethod because when we take care of ourselves we become a clear channel towards what our body, heart and soul most needs, I focus mostly on the psychological aspects and practices that amplify your intuition. They are the ones that make the biggest difference, but there are a few simple and fun self-care practices that I thought would be fun to share with you.
As you may have noticed, when you feel stressed, are in fight or flight survival mode, and your adrenaline is running high, which is how most people function on a day-to-day basis, it is really hard to tune into the subtle messages and inner knowing of your intuition. Instead, what we do is we rely on our linear, logical minds to direct us forward. The problem with that is that our minds cannot *think* beyond what they already know, so they get stuck in a cyclical pattern which just gives you more of the same.
To step out of that reactive conditioning and actually return to alignment so you can hear your intuition you have to find ways to relax the body enough so you can feel it again instead of avoiding your bodies sensations by staying stuck in your mind. Here are some of my favourite useful and inexpensive products that help me do exactly that, so I can amplify my intuitive voice and follow the IntuiMethod.
GABA — Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid is a kind of neurotransmitter in the central nervous system that helps to ease nervous tension, reduce stress and anxiety, promoting a positive mood and a feeling of well-being. I pop a 750mg tablet in my mouth after a big working day when I feel my central nervous system is extra flustered and it makes me feel so relaxed and kind of stoned. Some people call it “natural Valium” and I have friends who used to use it after big nights out partying to inhibit a comedown.
Calm Nights — We all know that sleep and dreams help us get unstuck from our waking mindset. They allow us to see solutions that aren’t apparent to our logical, conscious minds. Studies show that more than one-third of the subjects in any given study reported that deep sleep or dreaming about a problem guided them to an intuitive solution. But if you’re not getting that deep REM sleep so you can access your intuition? Try Calm Nights, a powerful blend of magnesium, GABA, Suntheanine, L Theanine and Melatonin. I use it sparingly but it works like a dream.
Evening Primrose Oil — It has a compound known as phenylalanine that can help with pain relief, and is increasingly used with remedying headaches, as well as reducing inflammation. Pain, headaches, inflammation, all these body conditions tend to make us want to avoid our bodies and therefore avoid our intuitions, so taking Evening Primrose Oil regularly helps dispel this avoidance and amplifies your ability to connect with your intuition.
Bach Rescue Remedy — I use the “comfort and reassure” one which I keep in my handbag. I tend to reach for it especially when I am travelling as all the bright lights and weird smells and people coughing and fake air in airports and on planes really disrupts my calm and balance. It helps me stay present, connected to my intuition and patient.
Lavender essential oil — I love dropping lavender essential oil on my pillow before I got to sleep but you can also diffuse it during meditation or journaling or place it on your wrists or ankles before you go out. Its role is to increase calmness that enables us to relax and let intuition be the guide.
Dry body brush — Dry brushing improves the function of the nervous system and rejuvenates the nervous system by stimulating nerve endings in the skin. When your nervous system in feeling good, clean and clear, you are a clear channel for your body to transmit intuitive messages to you.
Epsom salts — If you’re empathic (aka: human) it’s possible that you sometimes feel confused, scattered, exhausted, fatigued and irritable because of the whirlwind of life that is going on around us. Epsom salt in a hot bath soaks away all the external noise so you can come back to the subtle, gentle voice that is always guiding you to your own truth, inside.
Almond Oil — While you’re in that bath, pop a glass bottle of almond oil in it and let the hot water in the bath gently heat the oil so that when you get out you can generously slather it onto your skin. This is a trick I learned from my Ayurvedic practitioner who taught me that it is important to care for my drier Vata dosha type with lost of warm oils. Almond oil is now for pacifying a strung out central nervous system so you can feel your intuition again. Most interestingly, the word ‘Almond’ comes from ‘Amygdala’ — a part of the limbic system of the brain — the key role of the amygdala is the function of decision-making, memory and emotions. It is believed that applying almond oil can help keep these in balance.
See all the products listed here:
by Vienda | 23 Nov 2016 | Intuition + Manifestation
Intuition is seeing with the soul. — Dean Koontz
Intuition is a phenomenon of bridging the heart and the mind, through an intangible sense or feeling. It describes the ability to acquire knowledge without inference or the use of logical reasoning. The word “intuition” comes from Latin verb “intueri” translated to the word intuit, “to contemplate”.
Intuition is often interpreted as the ability to understand something instinctively, without the need for conscious reasoning.
It is an ability available to all of us, commonly known to be an aspect of our right brain function, and requires strengthening, just like a muscle. The more you use it, the easier it is and the faster it responds.
The universe sends us directions through our intuition; and we receive them through an inner voice, a tug in the heart, a sense, a vibe, a deep inner thought, a feeling, a certain subtle knowing, an energy that directs us along the way. We each feel this intuition in a different way and because it is subtle, it can seem elusive. If we pay attention we can connect to it in the centre of our body, like a deep inborn guidance system wired to the divine.
Have you ever been in a situation where you heard a very quiet, yet distinct intuitive warning, and ignored it, only to look back in hindsight and think “I knew that was a bad idea!”?
Yes? No? Maybe?
I have been in that situation tonnes of times!
It was around the time that I decided to start listening to my intuition more, that I noticed just how often I was getting myself into trouble, by ignoring the wisdom that the universe was consistently sharing with me.
I was 23, and I decided, after many, many mishaps — more than I’d like to admit — that I was finally ready to heed the strong persistent signs, voices and feelings that were arising as my intuition. So I set an intention, and made a pact with my intuition that I wrote in my journal.
Why not write one yourself?
Set the intention to connect to the universe and write a letter to your intuition, making a promise and a pact to start listening, paying attention and heeding its call.
Here’s a template to get your wheels turning…
Dear Intuition,
I am sorry I have been ignoring you for so long. It’s not because I don’t appreciate you, but because I was taught not to listen and trust you, or that you are wrong.
Thank you for the way you have _____________.
I now make a pact and a promise to connect to your guidance and hear your wisdom.
Please guide me when I _____________.
Please speak louder when I _____________ and show me the signs even if I _____________.
I may not always heed your call as I learn to recognise you more. Please be patient with me and show yourself in ways that I can understand.
Thank you for being my _____________, my _____________, and my true _____________.
I love and appreciate you.
[your name here]
Soon after I wrote a letter, very much like this one, literally days later, I found myself in another one of those ‘situations’.
I was meant to go on a date with a very cute boy; a dreadlocked ballet dancer. On the morning of that day, I woke up, stretched and went outside to our backyard in my panties and t-shirt for a few minutes to catch some sun. Moments later, the back door slammed shut, and for the first (and last) time of living there, was suddenly locked out of my house.
Barely dressed, I walked around the sides of the house, looking for ways to break in. Nothing. The neighbours weren’t home and there was nowhere I could go. So I sat down and waited.
I heard my phone ring. I ran around the house and saw it, happily buzzing away on my bed, with no way to reach it. I was late for my date.
Several hours later my housemate arrived back home, and let me in. I apologised profusely to my date and rescheduled. Only to discover that this very cute boy, had some serious anger problems, a drug addiction, and was on too many counts entirely wrong for me.
In hindsight, I realised that my intuition was trying to tell me very loudly (as I had asked) not to meet this boy. But I was stubborn and determined and had to find out for myself.
This particular incidence prompted me to completely surrender myself, my life, and my decisions to the wisdom of the universe, as communicated to me by my intuition.
Over the past 12 years, since that fated day, my intuition has grown in strength and precision, and is now my only counsel for the choices I make and the way I live my life.
What it took, was to learn to listen, hear and take action on the direction of a gentle guidance, that often doesn’t have a logical explanation.
I had to practice, from moment to moment, being very still within myself, to check in, ask for guidance and pay attention to the direction I was being guided in.
Practice taking time throughout the day, checking in with how you feel, and adjusting your choices and environment to align with what feels right for you.
Photo: Camille Moir Smith
