Today, October 11th marks exactly 1 year since my arrival in Mallorca. Unlike a year ago, when I landed to sunny skies, vibrant flowers and an ache of deep grief in my heart that gave this island a chromatic dullness… today it is pouring down with the first proper rains of the season, vibrant flowers and a renewed sense of joy and possibility in my heart that provide this island life with an animated delight.
What a difference a year makes. What a journey this has been. How much I’ve had to move through. And you, probably too.
I want to write about the hypnotherapy sessions I’ve been doing, but I’m still in the midst of them, so I will save them for when I feel more complete and all the pieces have settled. But alongside that, with the craniosacral sessions, and all the practices I teach in RENEW, I’ve been able to cultivate and curate a whole new perspective and experience of the world. One that is more honest than ever before, while also being more playful and light.
I don’t want to be one of those people who keeps going on about how challenging life has been the past couple of years. But there are two reasons why I do want to keep speaking about it.
1. I know I’m not the only one, in fact, I’m one of the lucky ones. And the more we admit and share and speak to the fact that life has been filled with provocation and collapse lately, the less isolated and ashamed we all feel in our journeys. Surely, this is all for our highest good, I have no doubt. And also: it’s been HARD.
2. I see people who aren’t equipped to face and feel their own emotions all the way through bypass just how difficult these times have been for all. I see how stuck they are. In their growth as a human, in their emotional maturity, in their ability to relate and communicate their own feelings and experiences, as well as hold space for, and having compassion for others.
We have to talk about things. We have to admit our vulnerability. We have to learn to surrender and hold each other through the challenges that grow us.
Earlier this year I taught RENEW. A 5-week live-led prescriptive journey to move through the chaos of reinvention.
It was an incredible expedition for all of us and the connections and revelations made among the 40 students remain close to my heart. The past couple of months I have reflected more on the renewal cycle.
We don’t live life in a straight line. Life is a spiral: a series of cycles through which we are moving and, hopefully, growing.
There are 5 phases to the renewal cycle.
It is a process of teasing out what is most important for you. Across 5 phases:
Phase 1: FLOW
This is where you expect to find yourself most of the time: positive, goal-oriented, and committed to living the life you have set your trajectory on. This is the phase that most of us find the most comfortable… until it isn’t. FLOW is the place where your skills and the challenge of performing are in agreement. Too big of a challenge and we become stressed; too small, we become bored. But at some point, old challenges become smaller, routines get stale. Subsequently, opportunities for flow decrease. We feel dissatisfied.
Phase 2: SPACE
In phase 2 we might feel trapped by everything in our lives, and have this strong sense of wanting to burn it all down. This may be experienced as ennui and a feeling of being “out of synch” with other people and with life in general. You feel “stuck” and are unsure of how to free yourself.
Sometimes people get stuck in Phase 2 longer than anywhere else in the cycle because they feel . . . immobilized by forces beyond themselves.” In reality, the person in phase 2 is not trapped at all. What they really need is to create space from everything to be able to redefine their lives and begin the renewal cycle again. This is has more to do with the regeneration of positive feelings of self-regard and spiritual trust beyond yourself than with ‘doing’ anything
Phase 3: EDIT
In phase 3, a person turns inward. This is a time to heal, to reflect, and to begin to consider new possibilities. People in this phase are “quiet, withdrawn, often emotional, and unsure of themselves”. A person doesn’t have to withdraw from work or life entirely to EDIT, but instead withdraw some of the energy you put into your old life to edit out anything that is no longer in alignment with who you are becoming.. Editing leads to a profound renewal of energy, purpose, and hope.
Phase 4: AWAKEN
The person in phase 4 begins to explore possibilities, to network, and to train for the next chapter of her life. It is a time of learning new skills and of thinking in new ways. It is an exciting time, a time for dreaming and for creating and for testing out new possibilities. This is where you tap into core values and finally awaken – like a butterfly leaving the chrysalis. You begin to disengage from the previous life that no longer satisfies you.
In phase 4, you get to try on new roles but without committing yourself to any. Eventually, one path will feel “right” at which point you will you write the script for the next chapter of your life and plunge into it, leaving your transition with gratitude.
Phase 5: EXPAND
The Outer Journey always reflects the Inner Journey. Although we don’t always realize it, the cycles repeat periodically throughout our lives. To experience the fruits of our inner journey we have to expand beyond our previous horizons and integrate this expansion into our daily lives. The inner journey is focused on inner work, with renewal and rejuvenation, with feelings and introspection. The outward journey is concerned with work in the world, with achievement and results, with thinking and doing.
RENEW is going to take you through these 5 phases in this order.
One phase is not better than another and all are necessary. Where ever you are, whatever phase you are in, there is work for you to do to learn and to grow. And I want you to trust your process and do each section in your own time as feels right to you without losing the thread. Come back to it at least once per week and pick up where you left off… until you reach completion.
In response to emphatic demand, I have added this new perspective and freshly filmed each section of the course, added journaling prompts to each of the five sections, some more guided meditations and audios, plus an integration sleep hypnosis at the end and turned it into self-study program.
To do in your own time, on your own timeline.
Because renewal is timeless and cyclical. PLUS, you get lifetime access.
Learn more and register for RENEW here.
You are bridging the divide between the seen and unseen. You, and our world, are made up of empty space filled with energy. Energy that whirs and vibrates and pulses in a symphony of responses to each holy instant. To now. And now. And then now, again.
Cosmic rays, high-energy intelligence from outer space smacking into our atmosphere shower down on the surface of the Earth and pass through you at a rate of about 10 per second informing and causing subtle mutations in all of us.
There is so much happening within and without us.
Subtle, nuanced, ethereal energetic shifts that our neural pathways can only catch as a side glance and our mother-tongue languages miss altogether. But it is here. An inner knowing, a constant wide awake and watchful awareness for these mysterious that we are born into bone and flesh of.
When you are interacting with another, you are offering them an opportunity to interpret their personal reality — how they have been shaped and defined — through the mirror of your presence and Being. One energetic sequence activates and reflects another. A relationship holier than words but defined by the limitations of communication.
You have tapped into the transcendent and important skill of being able to read between the lines. To observe and feel the nuanced energetics that is at play in the person whom you are facing and holding space for.
That requires presence,
your ability to stay out of your head
and softly anchored in your body.
Where you are not thinking about the next thing to say,
but feeling in your body and letting the essence and energy
of the other person land with you.
Through your energetic presence, you are able to help people answer the seminal questions they have always struggled with: How do I perceive myself? How do I perceive the people in my life, and why do I relate to them in the ways that I do? How do I encounter the world in a more meaningful way? And, what is my higher purpose in having incarnated here?
Your presence becomes a grand voyage of self-discovery where your counterpart can encounter the multidimensional aspects of their own inner and outer lives.
Your presence animates their life and allows them to acknowledge their own power, how they use or deny their power, presenting them with an opportunity to step out of their past. This is the mystical grace of human-to-human contact through space holding.
Nobody talks about it or teaches it
because it is intangible…
and hard to explain in words (though I will try).
It can only be felt.
As a devotional act.
Immersed in inner guidance and trust.
An imperfect practice.
In each and every holy instant.
I am speaking to the unseen, unspoken art of reading between the lines when you are mentoring another. Which requires the ability to feel the nuanced energetic intelligence sparking off them beyond and betwixt the things they say. Words are often overshadowing the real truth and truth is what you are here to witness, see and draw out. As divined by your unique perspective and offering to the world.
But it comes at a price. The price is owning your truth, first.
Mentorship is unsexy because it requires personal responsibility.
It means owning what is silently running the show in your life beneath it all.
It means identifying your gifts. And your weaknesses.
It means reaching out and asking for help and support. Which feeds into sisterhood.
It means being vulnerable and having the integrity to know that you don’t know it all. That you don’t have it all together. That you are a messy human like all of us.
Still being willing to play the part in this cosmic dance that we are dancing. To see and feel the parts of life that are the mystery and hold it gently in your hands so we may all drink from its precious source of wholeness and wellness. Without each other we are nothing.
We need each other to be the life spark that reflects us and reminds us of what we are capable of in a physical world that is mostly an illusion made up of legions of flickering vibrations beyond our capacity to hold in our minds. We need each other to remind us that we are limitless and capable and the desires in our hearts are the same flames as the dead stars that sparkle in the skies and this is how we walk each other home.
The Mentor Training enrolments close in 3 days.
Join us if your soul strings are tugging out a new melody in response to this.
“I feel like I found my people!” she burst into tears looking around at the Zoom-circle of women smiling back at her hands on hearts. Eyes shining with emotion we all nodded in agreement. It was the final call for Her Way 2021. We had come together and found each other.
She echoed the profound ache of every human. The deeply honed instinct to find people with common interests, aims and values, with whom you can share your journey, and feel safe, held, supported, guided, mentored and understood.
The question “What is my purpose and what is the purpose of life?” is a modern one. A reflection of the paramount disconnection that we feel from life and each other. For the most part of 30,000 years, we have come together in small communities and existed as an extension of the natural world around us living the answer to that question. Beholden custodians of the physical world we took care of Earth and she took care of us.
Our purpose is precisely that. To have the living, breathing, tangible experience of being alive, being a part of the natural world and tending to it. It’s a psychedelic trip of seeing ourselves mirrored by the world around us and yet also being of it. Something we have not managed to evade, even today. Though for many of us the detachment we feel from it is much more real.
One of the things I am strongly yearning for is a return to the village, the circle, a strong sense of community. I spoke to my experience with feeling lonely and without community in my podcast episode ‘redefine depression & anxiety caused by loneliness‘ and how this is a new phenomenon in my life, but one that crushes me frequently. My yearning to come together with others with a shared cause is stronger than ever.
There was once a time when we would come together and contemplate the forest floor or the field or the meadow of sweet herbs and flowers and name the plants to each other by way of use: edible, bitter, poisonous, healing. Knowledge that was passed from woman to woman culminating in the encyclopedic plant knowledge we have today. This sharing of knowledge nourished, saved and restored lives across centuries. It was a form of mentorship.
There was a time once when we would come together under the guidance of elders that would tell stories of the world and its nature, our ourselves and our nature, and how we are one and the same. They counselled us on the simple yet profound mysteries of life: as above so below, as without so within. The human experience from the wisened perspective of all the all-seeing crones and her forebearers gave us insight into how to coexist with each other and the natural world.
There was once a time when we would come together in the centre of a village or town and turn it into the marketplace, trading wares, skills, stories; entertain, where we would hold and scold each others’ children; and teach, offer and share whatever we had. Because we knew that together we are stronger.
I am on an assignment to reclaim this sense of coming together. Teaching, learning and growing together, both in the physical world and in the digital. We live in a time with more access to information and different types of tribes than ever before. We can find our people across thousands of kilometres of land, seas and cultures. We can discover more in an hour on google than ever before. But what is missing is the container to hold all these pieces together. A space where we are seen, met and held through our evolution and integration.
It’s why I created The (Level 1 & 2) Mentor Training programs.
Mentoring returns us to the ancient art of sharing wisdom, knowledge and skills. It used to be a natural part of our lives. We are all intuitively drawn to certain things that become a defining theme, profession or craft for us. These unique strengths can be shared and offered to others that can then grow from and build on them. What effective mentorship really requires is emotional intelligence, self-growth, honesty and love. The Mentor Training is a 6-month live program with a mind-heart-intuition approach, to learn the method and cohesive framework to become a skilled and impactful mentor.
If you feel drawn, there’s something here for you. Let it simmer within you and when you are ready, join us. We can’t wait to meet you.
Discover The Mentor Training here.
When I was 28 I quit the western way of life and booked an open flight to India. After 4 years at university, 5 years working at music festivals, and 1 year working behind a desk in a London dance company restoring my body to health after the years of festival-frenzied drug-taking (yes, a trauma response but that’s a conversation for another time) I dropped my expectations. I packed a bag and flew to Delhi and then onward to Goa. It was 2007.
Facebook had just become a worldwide phenomenon and I refused to start an account despite my boyfriend’s insistence. A week before I flew out he asked me to marry him, my second proposal up to then. There have been 3 more since. A proposal that I knew in my body came from the fear of losing me. I said “yes” but didn’t mean it, didn’t have the integrity nor the voice to speak my truth. I was leaving anyway. I thought it didn’t matter.
It took me 3 weeks to acclimatise. My days melted from one into another. I would wake up late, eat fruit and yoghurt at one of the beach shacks, swim in the Arabian Sea and lay in the sun, flirt with newcomers and go on daily adventures with new friends. I’d go to markets, ride motorbikes, eat rice and dahl with locals, smile and chat with the ladies in their saris, and learn about this new world I found myself in. I ignored messages from my boyfriend and called him as little as possible. I wanted to be devoid of any obligations.
A month in I took a bus 16 hours south into Kerala and did my first Vipassana retreat. 10 days of silence. I left with a small group of fellow meditators, all of us high on the sensual delights of life after being completely cut off for so long. I forgot my phone on the stairs of the meditation centre and my boyfriend couldn’t call me anymore. I decided I didn’t want a phone anyway. We travelled through Tamil Nadu and then I went off alone until I joined up with another girl I met on the way and we explored more of Kerala and Karnataka together.
I did this for 6 months all over the country. There was a continuous natural weaving of people, experiences, places, guiding me forward. All I had to do was exist. All I had to remember was to breathe, to eat, to be. Everything I needed: books, yoga, opportunities, friends, would magically reveal themselves to me like breadcrumbs on a path. At some point I left most of my belongings with friends of a friend in Delhi, carrying only a school rucksack with my favourite 5 outfits, some coconut oil, a few toiletries, my journal, a sheet and a cashmere blanket. I did not need or want more. Life felt so full and every moment so fleeting.
These details, while true, are not important. What is at the forefront of my mind, what I am yearning for so strongly right now, is this luscious freedom, the slowness, the feeling of fullness, the simple life where the only things we think of day to day are where we will sleep and when we will eat and where we will go next. I want to untether and reclaim my life. I want to take back my time. I want to choose a life that is the truest extension of who I am: free-spirited, intuitive, guided by the unseen, a true wanderess. And I want to do it my way.
Perhaps not entirely as boundless as I did then. I have changed. The world has changed. What stopped me from travelling was my desire to have a project to sink my teeth into. Floating through life became tiresome and I was ready to contribute. I wanted to give back. This time, I have the project. It’s work that I love and cherish immeasurably. I am exploring how to loosely hold space for both parts of me: the responsible, deeply caring, observational and intuitive businesswoman and the unfettered freedom-seeking spiritual nomad.
To do so I spend a lot of time sitting with and resolving any subconscious conditioning around my desire to live a fluid life where the act of living is prioritised before working, productivity and output. Something I am working really intentionally at is reprogramming the way I live my life and spend my time. I know that my internal belief systems state the external experience I have. Through massive clearing and cleaning out of what no longer aligns to my becoming, my true self, I am pioneering a new path, a new paradigm.
If you want to join me on this journey, I invite you to join us for Boundaried next week. A 2-hour workshop on Zoom exploring what it means to have radical self-responsibility and be integral with our actions and words. Specifically, with the way, we spend our time. So that it is no longer wasted. To reclaim our lives. For myself, and for you.
For the curious ones: at some point, my boyfriend came to see me in India and I ended our relationship in a very calm and centred way and broke his heart. And a year later got back together and then broke his heart again. Yes, I had a lot of learning and growing to do when it came to relationships. I still do.
So much of life is optional, not mandatory.
But we forget that, don’t we? We inflate ourselves with a grandiose succession of ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ and find ourselves slipping beneath the surface of why we came to Earth in the first place. I am absolutely certain that we are here to have a profoundly enjoyable experience. To sip on the ecstasy that is a life fully lived. And yet…
The past few weeks I keep bumping up against the fact that my entire system is currently rewiring itself. Every time I think I’m done, every time I impatiently try to move on, life puts me back into my place, into the present moment and makes me feel every emotion until I am fully purged. I’ve been in a season of doing the slow, incremental, unglamorous work of questioning one belief system at a time.
Redefining my life, my work, the way I use my time, my existence piece by piece. Remembering anything is possible when I work through patterns and conditioning like an archaeological soul excavation. I’ve had to let go of so much and questioned myself so deeply and had to teach my nervous system that it’s safe through it all one breath at a time.
I keep surrendering to these waves of needing to be still and rest as new information settles into my bones. All these initiations of deeper understanding and wisdom, a continuous cycle of death and rebirth, as old ideas and paradigms are dying in the face of new ones blooming. I find myself incapable of doing anything productive in these moments that sometimes last for days and I keep having to remember to surrender to it. To not fight or resist it.
There’s a rewiring on fundamental topics happening:
- How I nourish myself and what that means in the face of a wellness industry that thrives off convincing me to follow trends
- The intersection of worth, value, output and income and how we have been fed the idea that they are conditional
- How nature, the feminine and creativity are one and the same and require uncompromising protection right now
- That how and where we invest our time is where we invest our lives…
This is why I am excited to present to you: BOUNDARIED. A 2-hour Zoom workshop with me and my spellbinding friend
Claire where we teach you to have the audacity to map out your own hours and the self-authority to do something different to the cultural norm.
Full Moon — Wednesday, February 16th
9am LA / 12pm NYC / 5pm London / 6pm Barcelona / 4am Sydney
2-hour Zoom Workshop
Everything is changing. Everything is changing.
And it feels… terrifying. But also, so good.
We are all biologically and intrinsically motivated by the desire for more. More of the good stuff: more ease, joy, love, pleasure, abundance, time, presence, connection… Because by nature we are pleasure-seeking beings. It’s an urgent need for satisfaction. An inbuilt reaching for our own evolution.
Just like all of you my life and work are ever-evolving, shifting, growing. I am currently in the process of scaling my business and it is stretching me in ways that I haven’t been stretched before. I paid the biggest tax bill ever in December and the VM business became an LTD company because it outgrew my little sole trader setup. I hired a new accountant and set up payroll, and then went ahead and soft-launched two mentoring programs for 2022 to my ‘Her Way’ peeps… And then days later, after a few conversations with people I respect whom I shared my niggling feeling that something wasn’t right with, cancelled those programs, refunded my students and went back to the drawing board.
It was both exhilarating and frightening. Birthing something from inside you that is bigger than you, is no small feat. I’m leaning into some really new terrain and going all-in but my nervous system is saying “are you sure this is safe?” so there’s that inner struggle and the work of soothing and supporting my body so it can hold space for the expanse of what I am calling in.
And it reminds me that there are always two things at play in our evolution:
1. The conscious, surface desire for more. To expand, to grow, to evolve.
2. The subconscious, interior desire to feel safe. To stay with the confines of what it knows.
Every time we learn and grow we face an inner struggle that comes with the discomfort of stretching and growing pains. The unravelling and deconditioning of beliefs, systems and structures, while holding ourselves in a foreign no-man’s land to leap forward into the unknown more-ness of our desires.
I’m so enthusiastic and also, so so so confronted by the largeness of what I want to offer the world, an extension of the insight, healing and growth I have myself moved through the past two years, and I won’t pretend that I don’t feel some impatience and frustration with myself and the non-linear path this journey is taking me on as I wait for the nudges that move me forward. I have to let go and trust.
This article originated from my subscriber-only email. Please join us if you wish to reader such words in the future:
How powerful is it to know that you are the creator of your own life? It’s pretty profound when that fully lands.
Your intuitive ability to manifest your physical reality is based on your energetic sensitivity and intelligence. Everything that happens in the world is founded on the electromagnetic operating system. We are a part of it too, even though it is not something we can make sense of with our logic. This way of operating is subtle and beyond the basics of the physical realm. Yet we do it, every day.
One of the biggest transformations that happened in my life was when I realised I could consciously choose the perspective or “filter” through which I view the world. Not only did my tangible reality change, but my face and body even changed. One perception is overly critical, judgmental, separate from, and playing offence to the world as we experience it. Another perspective is appreciative, compassionate, inclusive of and acting as if this is all part of a master plan.
I started to pay attention to the innate ways that I interacted with the energetics, our electromagnetic operating system and came to develop a 6-step manifesting framework. Everything I have done, created, achieved, experienced and moved through is based on this system. So many people wanted to know how it was that I travelled so much, created and found such impressive and enriching opportunities, had the relationships I had and uncovered the courage to live the way I do.
So I developed a course, a 6-week program called Manifest More, in 2015. Since then, 1000’s people have taken the program and gone on to create their own impressive list of self-actualising achievements.
The 2nd step of the 6-step Manifest More system is to “clear the blocks”. So many people teach you how to manifest things but what you actually need to know is how to get out of your own way so that the things that are already coming for you, and meant for you can land. 99% of the time it’s not about getting more but rather making space for the more that you desire to land.
So I created another course, a 1-hour training on how to clear your blocks in a few minutes called Sovereign. Because we don’t need to lose ourselves in spiritual bypassing and millisecond-comforting spiritual soundbites anymore. Just saying the words, speaking the language, but nothing actually changes in how we feel or the results we experience in our lives. We are so tired of the fluff and BS. In Sovereign, we get super grounded and move through a practice that teaches you HOW to go beyond your own limitations.
Most people want to manifest: money, love, career, health, travel and lifestyle opportunities. We cover every single one of those in detail in Manifest More. But after a few years, I noticed that the ONE area women tended to get stuck in the most, was MONEY.
So I created Affluent, a 13-part guided audio journey into the darkest dread of scarcity, your shadows of not having enough and the central nervous system fears of survival. To show you how good life can be when you face those parts of yourself and finally allow the wealth that already exists all around us, in. It’s a course that I go back to myself from time to time as I peel the layers of conditioning away so I can open myself up to limitless abundance and wealth.
You see, our brains are like very clever detectives. We have beliefs conditioned into them through our upbringing and by observation of repetitive behaviours in our environment. And so our brains are always seeking evidence to support those beliefs and perspectives. So, if you feel like you lack something, or that you are undeserving of something it will go on a hunt to prove you right.
But awareness breaks the cycle.
The Manifesting Bundle had been created to help you rewire all of that.
It’s not just about wanting things but understanding the psychology behind WHY you want them and how it all just leads you towards how you want to FEEL. Because as human beings, we are pleasure-seeking creatures by nature. This is a GOOD thing! It’s our inner compass that keeps us moving towards our own fulfilment and satisfaction. It’s not greedy or self-centred. We have been constructed this way by design.
With awareness, you get to intentionally and consciously choose the perspective with which you view the world. And that perspective then is supported by the energetics of our electromagnetic operating system, resulting in real-life physical things that you can enjoy and submerge yourself in. Because, in my opinion, that’s what this human adventure is all about. To fully engage our senses in the delights of our physical experience.
The Manifesting Bundle is these 3 popular programs and courses bundled together into one accessible unit as interconnected elements of the larger whole to what it means to truly own your own power.
GET IT NOW