“How can I find my purpose?”
I’ve been there. I spent endless hours searching, wondering, and “not knowing.” I wanted to discover my purpose so badly. I would journal, walk, think, vent, meditate, ruminate, and stress about it. On multiple occasions, I literally burst into tears of frustration.
Then one day… I realized that you don’t “discover” your purpose. You don’t “uncover” it. You don’t “find” it. You pick something that is meaningful to you and you do it. There’s no reason for you to be contemplating the cosmic significance of your life while sitting on your couch all day eating Doritos. Rather, you should be getting off your ass and discovering what feels important to you.
I don’t believe that people are looking for their purpose in life… As much as they are looking to find meaning and the feeling of aliveness in their life.
We revisit this question “what is my purpose” several times across our lives as we change and our priorities change. Perhaps we begin by thinking of our purpose as our way to MAKE money. But ‘purpose’ is actually so much more than that.
In this masterclass, I take you through the 4 step process that will help you finally answer this continuous and timeless question.
- Find your unique flavour and essence.
- See your purpose right in front of you.
- Promise yourself to a project.
- Commit to your purpose.
You are bridging the divide between the seen and unseen. You, and our world, are made up of empty space filled with energy. Energy that whirs and vibrates and pulses in a symphony of responses to each holy instant. To now. And now. And then now, again.
Cosmic rays, high-energy intelligence from outer space smacking into our atmosphere shower down on the surface of the Earth and pass through you at a rate of about 10 per second informing and causing subtle mutations in all of us.
There is so much happening within and without us.
Subtle, nuanced, ethereal energetic shifts that our neural pathways can only catch as a side glance and our mother-tongue languages miss altogether. But it is here. An inner knowing, a constant wide awake and watchful awareness for these mysterious that we are born into bone and flesh of.
When you are interacting with another, you are offering them an opportunity to interpret their personal reality — how they have been shaped and defined — through the mirror of your presence and Being. One energetic sequence activates and reflects another. A relationship holier than words but defined by the limitations of communication.
You have tapped into the transcendent and important skill of being able to read between the lines. To observe and feel the nuanced energetics that is at play in the person whom you are facing and holding space for.
That requires presence,
your ability to stay out of your head
and softly anchored in your body.
Where you are not thinking about the next thing to say,
but feeling in your body and letting the essence and energy
of the other person land with you.
Through your energetic presence, you are able to help people answer the seminal questions they have always struggled with: How do I perceive myself? How do I perceive the people in my life, and why do I relate to them in the ways that I do? How do I encounter the world in a more meaningful way? And, what is my higher purpose in having incarnated here?
Your presence becomes a grand voyage of self-discovery where your counterpart can encounter the multidimensional aspects of their own inner and outer lives.
Your presence animates their life and allows them to acknowledge their own power, how they use or deny their power, presenting them with an opportunity to step out of their past. This is the mystical grace of human-to-human contact through space holding.
Nobody talks about it or teaches it
because it is intangible…
and hard to explain in words (though I will try).
It can only be felt.
As a devotional act.
Immersed in inner guidance and trust.
An imperfect practice.
In each and every holy instant.
I am speaking to the unseen, unspoken art of reading between the lines when you are mentoring another. Which requires the ability to feel the nuanced energetic intelligence sparking off them beyond and betwixt the things they say. Words are often overshadowing the real truth and truth is what you are here to witness, see and draw out. As divined by your unique perspective and offering to the world.
But it comes at a price. The price is owning your truth, first.
Mentorship is unsexy because it requires personal responsibility.
It means owning what is silently running the show in your life beneath it all.
It means identifying your gifts. And your weaknesses.
It means reaching out and asking for help and support. Which feeds into sisterhood.
It means being vulnerable and having the integrity to know that you don’t know it all. That you don’t have it all together. That you are a messy human like all of us.
Still being willing to play the part in this cosmic dance that we are dancing. To see and feel the parts of life that are the mystery and hold it gently in your hands so we may all drink from its precious source of wholeness and wellness. Without each other we are nothing.
We need each other to be the life spark that reflects us and reminds us of what we are capable of in a physical world that is mostly an illusion made up of legions of flickering vibrations beyond our capacity to hold in our minds. We need each other to remind us that we are limitless and capable and the desires in our hearts are the same flames as the dead stars that sparkle in the skies and this is how we walk each other home.
The Mentor Training enrolments close in 3 days.
Join us if your soul strings are tugging out a new melody in response to this.
Self-actualisation is the process of becoming “everything you are capable of becoming.”
There’s no script for that. Everyone has to find their own unique ways to hear the inner wisdom that can help them live a life of truth. Only you can determine what living your fully expressed truth means for you.
Self-actualisation doesn’t involve perfection or things always going smoothly. You can become self-actualized and still face difficulties. But it’s not something you can do alone. You will always be influenced by the level of guidance, support and mentorship you receive.
We live in a culture that values instant gratification, superficial beauty, lavish possessions and excessive consumption making up for what it lacks in emotional depth, community, creativity and meaningful connections.
When things don’t work out or we don’t get what we want or feel empty inside we often try to fill our time, space and home with more perfunctory things, people and experiences. Every dysfunctional human behaviour is an attempt to escape suffering. We don’t stop for a moment and consider that perhaps what we feel we are really feeling is the disconnection from our truth.
This is where mentoring steps in. A heralded guidance back your own potential, knowledge, wisdom and heart. Your return to self-actualisation.
But first, let’s explore the difference between mentoring, coaching & therapy.
Therapy also called psychotherapy or counselling is a treatment process about healing hurts, re-parenting, and bringing resolution to personal pain. It focuses on problems, their sources, the symptoms that result from those problems, dysfunctions, trauma and diagnosis of disorders. It is a doctor/patient relationship where the therapist/psychologist diagnoses and prescribes remedial ‘solutions’ to the patient.
Coaching is a process of using questions and feedback to facilitate the client’s capabilities and resources into self-generated change and action. Action that is designed to achieve goals and take a client from where they are in life now, to where they want to be. A coach assumes the client is the expert in their own life, and that the coach is simply there to help the client elicit their own answers. This unique distinction enables the client to develop their own capability, creativity and resourcefulness from the coaching process.
Mentoring is an approach that involves providing advice, guidance, and sharing one’s own personal story. The focus here is on a particular skill, knowledge or experience that a mentor has deeper background knowledge in, that is passed on. Mentoring is particularly effective because it offers you access to someone who has been there and done that and can guide you through the same thing. They can understand you and where you are at so intimately because they have experienced it.
Mentoring also tends to be a longer-term relationship in nature. Many of my private clients work with me for a year or more. Coaching, in contrast, tends to be shorter-term, as it is only necessary to help people achieve certain goals. Once a person has achieved a goal, they are typically done with that coaching experience.
Mentoring tends to be a more informal and friendly relationship, than perhaps coaching and therapy because instead of deflecting and separating yourself from your client’s experiences you openly offer vulnerable and truthful insights into your own experiences and challenges which makes them feel less alone. By holding space and witnessing someone without judgement you help them to feel when they are not able to and thereby regulate their emotions and experiences. You co-regulate by being calm, loving and compassionate and liberate people from their “self” stories, narratives by holding them accountable to them.
Neuroscience tells us that brain development depends on a human to human responsiveness. Many of us had times in our lives when those around us were not able to be present with and available to us. Mentoring as per The Mentor Training program ensures that your clients feel heard, seen, witnessed, accepted and enjoyed to restore and repair imbalances in their lives. So they can return to your natural state of living a fully expressed life. A self-actualised one.
What I am teaching is an intelligent heart-mind-body approach to holding space for people in a safe and beholden way. If you have lived life and moved through challenges, whether personally, in a specific career, in your spiritual journey, your relationships and more, you certainly have the natural skills there already. What this training will give you is a framework with which to move forward.
It’s about building trust, knowing and owning your own projections so that they don’t interfere with your clients, and offering a container that allows them to self-remedy. Because we all have access to the answers but need to feel seen, heard, and witnessed in our human journey. Like the way small children always say “watch me!” when they are trying and learning something new… we never stop needing to be validated and supported in our growth end evolution.
Mentoring offers that witnessing that we would otherwise receive from our elders, community and wider family that is lacking in our societies today, from someone who naturally falls into that position because of their unique insights, experiences and predispositions. The fact that you have both: extensive life experience and an intuitive knowing and ability to tune into people and hold space for them, makes this training the perfect springboard into turning these skills into a service that is sorely needed.
Join The Level 1 & 2 Mentor Training program here.
Level 1 takes you a deep dive into your own mind, heart and intuition in order to become an effective mirror and sounding board for your clients and others in your life.
Level 2 gives you the pragmatic structure and processes required to have in place to hold mentoring sessions.
“I feel like I found my people!” she burst into tears looking around at the Zoom-circle of women smiling back at her hands on hearts. Eyes shining with emotion we all nodded in agreement. It was the final call for Her Way 2021. We had come together and found each other.
She echoed the profound ache of every human. The deeply honed instinct to find people with common interests, aims and values, with whom you can share your journey, and feel safe, held, supported, guided, mentored and understood.
The question “What is my purpose and what is the purpose of life?” is a modern one. A reflection of the paramount disconnection that we feel from life and each other. For the most part of 30,000 years, we have come together in small communities and existed as an extension of the natural world around us living the answer to that question. Beholden custodians of the physical world we took care of Earth and she took care of us.
Our purpose is precisely that. To have the living, breathing, tangible experience of being alive, being a part of the natural world and tending to it. It’s a psychedelic trip of seeing ourselves mirrored by the world around us and yet also being of it. Something we have not managed to evade, even today. Though for many of us the detachment we feel from it is much more real.
One of the things I am strongly yearning for is a return to the village, the circle, a strong sense of community. I spoke to my experience with feeling lonely and without community in my podcast episode ‘redefine depression & anxiety caused by loneliness‘ and how this is a new phenomenon in my life, but one that crushes me frequently. My yearning to come together with others with a shared cause is stronger than ever.
There was once a time when we would come together and contemplate the forest floor or the field or the meadow of sweet herbs and flowers and name the plants to each other by way of use: edible, bitter, poisonous, healing. Knowledge that was passed from woman to woman culminating in the encyclopedic plant knowledge we have today. This sharing of knowledge nourished, saved and restored lives across centuries. It was a form of mentorship.
There was a time once when we would come together under the guidance of elders that would tell stories of the world and its nature, our ourselves and our nature, and how we are one and the same. They counselled us on the simple yet profound mysteries of life: as above so below, as without so within. The human experience from the wisened perspective of all the all-seeing crones and her forebearers gave us insight into how to coexist with each other and the natural world.
There was once a time when we would come together in the centre of a village or town and turn it into the marketplace, trading wares, skills, stories; entertain, where we would hold and scold each others’ children; and teach, offer and share whatever we had. Because we knew that together we are stronger.
I am on an assignment to reclaim this sense of coming together. Teaching, learning and growing together, both in the physical world and in the digital. We live in a time with more access to information and different types of tribes than ever before. We can find our people across thousands of kilometres of land, seas and cultures. We can discover more in an hour on google than ever before. But what is missing is the container to hold all these pieces together. A space where we are seen, met and held through our evolution and integration.
It’s why I created The (Level 1 & 2) Mentor Training programs.
Mentoring returns us to the ancient art of sharing wisdom, knowledge and skills. It used to be a natural part of our lives. We are all intuitively drawn to certain things that become a defining theme, profession or craft for us. These unique strengths can be shared and offered to others that can then grow from and build on them. What effective mentorship really requires is emotional intelligence, self-growth, honesty and love. The Mentor Training is a 6-month live program with a mind-heart-intuition approach, to learn the method and cohesive framework to become a skilled and impactful mentor.
If you feel drawn, there’s something here for you. Let it simmer within you and when you are ready, join us. We can’t wait to meet you.
Discover The Mentor Training here.
This is a short excerpt from an email I sent to a private client. I have a feeling that someone else, maybe you, needs to read these words too.
When you are living in alignment all the things that your heart and higher self yearn for can make their way to you with such fluidity, speed and ease.
Alignment is when our thoughts, life choices, and direction all honour our core values. Alignment is when we listen to our intuition and move through the world embodying our true selves. Alignment is function and action with ease.
If you are new to core values, I teach you how to define your core values in my course ‘Pause & Pivot’. It’s instant access, and it’s free. Sign up for it here.
There has been a habit in your life to approach things with black and white thinking: as if you have to choose one thing and abandon a part of yourself in order to be successful/accepted/liked/safe etc.
This is the biggest thing I want you to change. You can have it all, and all at the same time, but perhaps not all at the same time at 100%. And it doesn’t need to be.
Life is made up of so many complex paradoxes all occurring at the same time and that’s what make sit so incredible, magical and mysterious.
Give yourself permission to be who you want to be: an artist, an active member of the arts and music movement, someone who can look at her life with pride and say “I fully lived my human expression in this life! I did not hold back or think or disregard large chunks of who I am.”
It’s time to live with integrity to all parts of yourself. And the time is now.
I look forward to seeing how you navigate things in a new way now and activate the parts of you that are deeply yearning to be seen and heard. Don’t allow perfectionism or external validation to limit your capacity to live the life that is meant for you. Advocate for yourself and the full spectrum of skills, talents, yearnings and dreams that you hold for yourself. They exist within you for a reason.
So many people are awakening right now… coming to terms with the fact that the lies we have been sold all our lives, in fact, aren’t important at all. Materialism doesn’t matter. We are all equal. Happiness comes from within. Love is all that matters.
But we live in a world that keeps telling us that our status and value in life is defined by the things we own and the position we hold in society. And that if you disregard these concepts you will be outcast, cold and alone.
It makes integrating and living in alignment with the insights of our awakening inside the world as it currently exists near impossible. We begin to feel disconnected and have to defy society to maintain our sense of right and good in the world.
When we have an intrinsic belief in how good the world could be if these superficial, shallow values were no longer placed high on superficial, shallow pedestals, we begin to wonder how we can create a world where our insights and awakening will be embraced and maintained. A world where we can remain connected to these higher truths in such a way that we can easily access and experience them.
Wanting to answer this precise predicament was what drove me to create the business I now have. I want to create a world, a safe space, within which no one could prevent me from living aligned to my beliefs and values.
There’s an entire generation of ‘girl-bosses’ who have bought into patriarchy strategically reframing hustle-culture and burnout in business as ’empowering’ under the guise of a ‘feminist’ movement. They have taken that concept and then sold it to other ‘girl-bosses’ who then sold it to more ‘girl-bosses’. Which sneakily appears like a multi-level marketing scheme…
Capitalism tells us that our work and the vehicle that is our businesses should always be increasing in every way. But my business is its own entity with its own rhythms and cycles and waves of being on and off. Forcing myself into a linear model of productivity doesn’t work for me.
I don’t buy it.
My business runs in seasons of work and output.
Here is what I KNOW and the 6 principles I run my business on:
If things feel off it’s because they are.
When I don’t know what to do life/the universe makes it really easy: things are aligned if I feel happy, open free, expansive.
If I don’t feel those things, I wait and look at what needs to be resolved, changed or healed before I move forward.
I will wait as long as I need to. It takes time to bring what I want to bring earthside. It has to have integrity and be embodied.
It all needs to feel easy. The moment it doesn’t — and easy means easeful and in full fluid flow with momentum, it doesn’t mean there’s no work or sometimes no long hours invested in it — I need to step away, check in and patiently wait for redirection.
I never ever promote or sell anything that I don’t personally adore. My work is pieces of my soul turned into things for you.
Things don’t happen on my timeline and I trust my business entity to guide me every step of the way.
It’s why I created Her Way.
A year-long container where we can maintain the connection to our innate values that remind us of what is really true and meaningful in the world, facilitated by me.
A way to work and run businesses where you are supported to implicitly trust your innate instinct, that inner wisdom that rises within us anytime we willingly are still enough to listen. Because within you exists a powerful vision of the way things could be, should be, would be.
Her Way begins in April 2022. Join us.