I left Sydney just over a week ago and right now, am on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, enjoying the supremely wet winter weather which is far warmer than where I was and slowly, gently finding my feet. It takes time. It takes time to unwind from busy city living, to find your own rhythm and pace again as well as remain connected with all the things that you want to do.
I am choosing to take it easy. I refuse to be hard on myself. We all do far too much of that. So perhaps I’m not achieving, doing, chasing results or meeting deadlines but in reality those things aren’t important anyway. Instead I am focusing on remaining connected with my inner peace and source of love and making decisions from my heart and intuition.
As some of you know, I have been working on a Create Your Own Business Blog & Website guide. The copy has been completed for some weeks now. It’s just waiting to be put together into a beautiful format. Graphic designers charge about $350 for that kind of work, and I know it’s worth their efforts and talent but for some reason I’m not feeling it. I don’t know wherein the blockage lies, whether its within me or elsewhere, so I am sitting with it….. And waiting for a sign. For something to indicate to me what direction to take and whether to try and design the layout myself or hire someone or wait until someone wants to work on this sweet e-guide with me. As with everything in life, I’ll know when I know.
At this very moment I also haven’t booked a flight yet. Perhaps I will have by the time you read this. Again I am waiting. For the clarity, the precise moment where everything falls into place. I am being nudged in several directions: New York to connect with amazing people and Lisbon for Boom Festival and to see some of my most special friends, yet in my heart my ultimate destination is South America. I’m deciding whether to go directly there or via either of the detours that are calling my name.
I had a dream last night. I wrote an entire book on small pizza boxes that had been laid flat. Brown cardboard boxes without any logos, unused. One on top of each other they were stacked, full of my hand writing, waiting to be typed up. On a beautiful wooden desk. But I was late for my flight and couldn’t type. For my flight to Argentina which in my dream strangely enough was located on the map in the same place that Brazil is supposed to be in waking life. I don’t know what it means but clearly in my dream life I’m ready to go. And I need to keep writing.
Despite all the unknown in my life right now, I am completely at peace and feeling calm. I am friends with uncertainty, we have always had a sweet and loving relationship. I give my trust and receive magic in return. This is how I roll. And travelling gives me the time, the space and the freedom to do so. Nowhere to be, nothing to achieve but to let out what lies deep within me, yearning to be expressed.