I can’t remember when my journaling shifted from gentle memoirs to deep introspection and a therapy-like approach…
Most days begin with some kind of exaltation centred around how I feel. Followed by an unravelling around why I feel that way, and whether I consciously want to continue feeling that, and then, what I can do to either a) change the feeling if I don’t like it; or b) amplify the feeling to have more of it.
To illustrate, 15 journal entries from mid-July to August began like this:
- Something has changed — like there was a BIG energetic shift last night…
- I’m not exactly sure what is going on with me but I’ve already cried twice today.
- I feel like so much childhood trauma is coming to the surface right now. I’m crying (again)…
- Well, that was an emotional few days! I moved through and cleared so much.
- I’ve been so teary and crying easily lately. (This entry was expanded into this article.)
- Something really wonderful I’ve noticed is that I have a lot more energy lately.
- I feel so good today. Just so good.
- My moon-time came unusually early this month… I’ve been exhausted and feel fat and bloated and inflamed and…
- Dear universe. I want to feel really good. Show me the way(s) I am standing in my own way.
- I guess I received an answer [to my last journal entry] almost immediately because I’ve got a stomach infection.
- Happy August, birth-month, Leo season and New Moon!
- After 6 really full days, today I finally have more energy, both mentally and physically.
- Lousie Hay says that infections (like, of the stomach) are anger, irritation and annoyance.
- I feel so much better today. Grateful, hopeful, excited… and also slightly anxious about getting to the bank in time.
- And just like that my birthday day came and went. It was nice — not particularly special — but I felt so much love coming my way from all around the world.
Over time, as I observe my daily-ish entries from a neutral perspective, I get to know myself, and what is really happening. There’s a pattern that begins to show up, weaving a story about my current circumstances and how I can own them, take responsibility for them and change or nurture them, depending on what is surfacing.
Understanding and knowing that the way you feel is the closest to your own inner truth that you are ever going to meet changes your relationship with yourself. You begin to pay attention to the dialogue and open up a conversation with yourself where you explore what is real and meaningful for you, not based on external validation or other’s expectations, but on what you feel, and become aware of your own sovereignty and individuality.
I recently used journaling to inform a difficult decision — ended a short-lived relationship — with this method. I noticed, in the months before, how light I felt, how filled with joy and ease, and easy happiness my entries were. In contrast, the months during the relationship were filled with confusion, self-doubt, a sense of heaviness, apprehension and like something was not quite right.
Our feelings are indicators of our inner experience. They act as a conduit between body and mind, letting us know where we stand. When I feel good, I know my actions are in alignment with my inner self. When I feel bad, I’m out of alignment, and something has to change.
Sometimes it’s something within me that needs to be addressed and worked through, sometimes it’s something in my environment. I always begin with clearing my blocks first, before I take the steps necessary to change the external experience I am having. That way, I ensure that I am taking responsibility for my life, instead of reacting from a place of unresolved inner wounding.
Around here, we do things a little differently...
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