The first time I went to see a therapist I just sat there, numb and lost for words, while she asked me questions and I answered them with the briefest replies possible. I never used to be able to speak about my feelings or what was happening in my life.
I grew up in an environment that taught me it was not safe to express my feelings and to feel ashamed when I did. My guardians would use emotional manipulation to get what they needed from me (love and obedience) and would override my needs when I expressed them as being insignificant. To survive I shut down, was a “good girl” and became very good a reading the subtle cues on what people wanted from me.
That all turned in my early 20’s.
I found meditation. I found spiritual practices. I found manifesting. I found psychedelics. I found dance. I found yoga. I found journaling. I discovered the comforting voice of my intuition. I met eccentric people who gave me permission to be myself. I found therapy. I studied psychology.
I say I found all these things, but it felt more like, they found me. As a result, I healed. I forgave. I changed.
In this process, I learned the one key thing to clearing and releasing shame and trauma is to openly speak to it. We heal shame and grow our sense of self-worth by airing our truth, over and over and over again.
The advantage of over-sharing is that it leaves no room for shame.
When you have nothing to hide… you having nothing to hide and nothing to feel ashamed of. When you live your life wide open in honesty and modesty you don’t get stuck in the all the shame you are trying to hide. The more you admit your faults, challenges and short-comings, the more authentic you become. And authenticity is everything. Because it’s the only true liberation that a human being can know. To be, wholly, themselves.
For hundreds of years, shame had been used by religions and societies to control people. People who are ashamed of who they are at the very core will not speak out, they will not disrupt the system, they will stay small and meek and quiet. But as soon as those people speak the truth, and shake the shame off, the spell is lifted.
They empower themselves.
Buried secrets need to be exposed and revealed. Shame is where our growth and stretch lives. It’s the places where we have a sensation that something isn’t right and must be corrected. If we have the willingness and courage to turn towards it.
When we share… what happened, how we feel, what our experiences are like… exactly as they are without judgment or amplification, we create a level of vulnerability and openness that heals. Shame is a result of judgment and fear. Sharing unveils the truth.
Around here, we do things a little differently...
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