I had just finished writing my third ever blog post. It was live. But no-one knew it was there. Sitting in the internet-ether, all alone. Unread. Unnoticed. Nobody cared. Except me. So I copied and pasted the url into my Facebook page, wrote a witty introduction, and held my breath. I felt like vomiting.
What if people hate it? What if people think it’s the worst writing they’ve ever seen? What if they laugh at me and talk about my impending failure as a human being, behind my back? I might as well just die…
But I exhaled. And hit ‘Post’.
I think maybe 3 people, out of the 500 friends I had back then, noticed. And read it. In hindsight, it was far from my best literary work ever, but I had to start somewhere. Anyway, how does one start wiring on the internet. It’s not like writing the millions of essays I wrote during my psychology degree. And it’s not like writing my epic group emails that I sent all my friends when I was travelling in some weird exotic country. It’s more like wiring in your journal, or to your very best friend, and spilling your most intimate secrets, with a hint of sharing your best tips from said experience.
At the beginning, I wrote in my blog, about anything and everything I could think of that I wanted to share, almost every day. Back then, I got 30 hits per day. Most of them were probably friends and family, with a few randoms scattered in, who somehow accidentally landed on my blog. I wondered about those 30 people. Who were they? What did they think about what I wrote? Why were they even reading it?
Eventually I overcame that fear. I just kept posting and holding my breath, until one day, it didn’t feel scary anymore.
Overcoming fear, self-sabotage, and putting yourself out there include some of the most gargantuan steps forward that any girlboss’, blogger, coach and online digital biz owner has to face. They come at every level. From small steps: sharing you blog post on Facebook; to big ones: standing up on stage or presenting to tv — life — for a moment, becomes terrifying.
First there’s the desire. I want to do great things in the world. I am ready. I have a brilliant message to share. I have so much to give.
Then there’s fear. What will people think of me? What if I’m not really ready? My message been DONE so many times… What if none wants to hear it? Am I just kidding myself?
Followed hot on the heels by self-sabotage. I have nothing to give. I am nothing. I might as well just shrink into my shell. I know nothing. I need to study more to prove to the world I am worth something. I have to try harder. I’m not good enough. I should just wait until I’m ready. I won’t do it today — tomorrow — maybe. Or after I’ve finished this other really big, important project for someone else. Oh, is that my partner / best friend / cat calling? Let me take care of their needs first. Let me just postpone this uncomfortable feeling of fear for now.
Do you know this story? I bet you do. I know I do. We are very familiar — this game and I — a little to familiar.
There’s only one way to overcome fear, self-sabotage and put yourself out there: with courage.
What courage looks like is this: doing that thing that scares you. Again, and again, and again. Until the fear goes away. Recognising your fear as a sign post for following your heart and expanding beyond your comfort-zone, from a safe, familiar space, to a place where the extraordinary happens.
If you’re scared, just keep moving. It’s only when you stop moving forward; stop taking action and stop looking in the direction of your dreams, that anxiety can fill you and freeze you in one spot. As long as you keep doing something, and keep taking action, you won’t feel stuck, and will easily overcome fear and self-sabotage. That’s why is so important to have support and an action-plan. So you can consistently take micro-actions every day, that result in you creating something great.
I believe that with the right guidance, courage, determination and commitment, anyone can create a successful freedom-fuelled business. Click here to learn how we can work together.
You can access all the articles in this 8-part series, here:
- Identifying your skills, and deciding what kind of business to start.
- Understanding your great, big, guiding why. (By using your heart and intuition to make decisions.)
- Overcoming fear, self-sabotage, and putting yourself out there.
- Creating a platform, building an audience and using social media.
- Finding balance and boundaries, to live out your freedom-fuelled life.
- Changing your mindset around self-worth, value and money.
- Honing and defining your niche and your message.
- Nurturing relationships and connecting with influencers to elevate your brand
Image from FreePeople.com
Around here, we do things a little differently...
Sign up to join the 10,000+ subscribers to my popular love-drenched notes sent directly to your inbox.
You're signing up to receive emails from Vienda Maria