https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySs8Z2ugcjE
I recently received a question from Anna in London, who asked: “How do you intuitively know whether a relationship is right for you, or going to work out since it involves someone else?” She went to on to explain that she really felt very strongly and even intuitively, that the relationship she was in was the right one for her, but then after a while, things didn’t work out.
I think there are a couple of things at play here.
- Is that intuition is not a means to control your life or to play it safe: tuning in and allowing your inner guidance system to lead you, doesn’t mean that life is going to be perfect and things are never going to go differently than we think ever again. In fact, our intuition is invested in our growth and is always guiding us to our highest expression of authenticity. And some time that means learning lessons that are uncomfortable.
- Is that we have been socially conditioned to believe that relationships have to last forever. We have all brought into the Disney princess idea of happily ever after because that’s what we have had modelled all of our lives. I don’t mean to say this doesn’t exist: it absolutely does, but not every relationship is going to follow that path, and so, just because you feel a strong intuitive feeling that you are supposed to be with someone, it’s good to trust that feeling because it’s true, but to release the future-tripping expectation around what the end story will look like.
So with both those concepts: 1. that your intuition is guiding your to your highest best self at all times and 2. that relationships are here for us to grow and learn and feeling strongly connected to someone is definitely a thread to follow, doesn’t mean that it’s going to last forever.
Instead, that person is in your life for a reason and a season, however long it might be. Trust your intuition to guide you to them, but also accept and let them go when the time together is over, whether that’s 20 minutes or 20 years.
You can intuitively know that you’re meant to be with someone, and allow yourself to have that experience, without expecting that this person is there forever. I have a really great example of this. Quite a few years ago, I fell head-over-heels in love with this beautiful man, and every cell of my body just said a huge YES about this relationship, though things didn’t quite go as I had thought. After a couple of months, I discovered that he had some pretty serious and debilitating addiction which were just not ok with me. I had to make the decision to leave the relationship despite the fact that I felt like this man was my soulmate, and I do still believe that he is. I learned some of the most powerful and life-transforming lessons and addressed some deep underlying shadows through my experience with him, that I desperately needed to learn and address. He was the catalyst for some huge growth in my life and without him, I don’t think I would have had access to that. In this perspective, he’s my soulmate (one of them) because he gave my soul exactly what I needed even though it didn’t look or end like a happily-ever-after love story.
So if you intuitively feel that a relationship is right for you, then that means that, right now, it is! Love and heartbreak are part and parcel of our journeys here on earth, they are what bring so much depth and breadth to our life experiences and not something to be avoided out of fear that things won’t turn out the way our logical minds want them to.