It’s the second day of 2016. ‘Sweet 16’ folks are calling it.
I’m sitting in child’s pose on my bed, elbows holding my hands up as I type away T-Rex style. There’s paper scattered everywhere around me; scribblings with my New Year intentions, visions of how I want to feel, business ideas and plans, ideas about how to manage my time better — my Filofax joining the heap of writing that’s surrounding me.
I think I’m still a little hung over. I’m tired, but in that weird, unsettled way, where all of my cells can’t seem to agree on whether to be excited or to chill out, and my body is agitated. For someone who doesn’t drink very much, or very often, letting loose on New Years Eve with a few glasses of wine, and a stolen pint of beer, I’m feeling the after-effects more than others might. And I don’t mind.
There’s something deliciously melancholy and creativity-igniting about this feeling. I understand why some of our greatest writers, poets and artists use drink as their muse. There’s a letting go and allowing in, that comes with being drunk, and with the fragility of a hang over.
So, here I am today. With a promise to myself that this year is going to be different.
But different to what?
Honestly, every year is different. I can’t remember a year where everything stayed the same. I haven’t even celebrated New Years in the same country for over 5 years in a row now. 2011: Sydney, Australia. 2012: Tulum, Mexico. 2013: Brighton, UK. 2014: Cairns, Australia. 2015: Nelson, New Zealand.
But I feel something different. My thought processes, my desires, how I want to show up in the world, is changing. I feel enthusiastic about taking new risks, playing bigger, going deeper. More slowly, simply, with grace and ease. Life is becoming different, again.
And the biggest difference lies not in my external experience, but in the patterns I have come to know within myself. Those patterns that I had to face, that make 2015 so challenging. Those patterns that made we weep so many times. The parts of myself that I had kept hidden, even from myself.
But now… Now I see them. And I don’t reject them. I embrace them and welcome them in.
Those patterns can only be healed with full acceptance. As the enter my heart they dissolve, each one of them, one by one. And this is why things are different now.
Sweet 16. May you truly be as sweet as they say you are.
Tomorrow we move house again. It’s been too long since I’ve been able to nest and style a beautiful home for myself. The last time was in Byron Bay, but we left there almost 6 months ago. I can’t wait.
Our new house is a big, beautiful old mansion in downtown Nelson, with the highest ceilings, the hugest rooms and 3 extraordinary bathrooms, which we are sharing with an incredible eclectic meld of beings. More on them another time.
For today, I am enjoying the strangeness of the year turning into a new time and space to create from. And I am looking forward to sharing some of the exciting projects that are unfolding before us for you here, at VM.
You can expect:
- A website redesign
- 2 group mentoring programs
- The chance to join a new membership collective
- A course on how to work through your patterns and overcome blocks and limited beliefs
- And more clarity, simplicity and ease
Feeling so much YES! right now. I hope you are too.