This note is coming to you from seat 22B of a Vueling aeroplane on a 55-minute flight to Barcelona. It’s my first flight since leaving Mexico pre-pandemic at the start of 2020. The cabin is eerily quiet, a few people quietly muffling through mask-covered mouths, we have been spaced out with seats between passengers kept free. A flight attendant is pushing a piece of luggage, whose wheels squeak as she passes, to another part of the plane.
I pull my mask down to take a sip of water from the small bottle I bought in the airport to see me through the flight. Normally I would bring my flask but I am travelling with a tight constraint of hand luggage only for our 3-day-2-night girls weekend.
This flight is bringing me so much nostalgia. Gone (for now) are the days of lighthearted travel and whimsical interactions. The past two years have left us fractured with limited reprise. I personally hardly recognise myself compared to the woman who last boarded a plane.
There are times in life when it asks you to take everything you ever thought was true and deconstruct it in such a way that the only thing that is left is fierce and fiery truth. The woman I am today is no longer shrouded in a cloud of wishful thinking and denial but instead has humbly submitted herself to the truth. And the truth is, that it’s all so much more uncomplicated. It, being: life, purpose, and what we truly need. What really matters is simple.
The past 18 months have been the deepest wintering of my life. Both in terms of my surroundings (there was no summer in the UK last year) and in terms of my soul journey. In times when I thought it couldn’t get any tougher, it did. What happened was a pragmatic and practical pilgrimage to clear the way and make space for true healing, health and joy.
I’ve realised that the real work is in clearing the way. Always.
It seems counterintuitive, doesn’t it?
That the only way to move forward is to stop and look around at what we have always done and decide whether that’s actually what we want in our lives. And then to clear the path through facing our truth, burning it down, clearing the blocks/beliefs/ideologies that we then recognise as false.
It seems counterintuitive because we’ve all been socially conditioned to believe that our worth/success/wealth/deservability is a reflection of how much we do, how hard we try, how many goals we meet. So we do more, try harder, reach for bigger. And it’s never enough.
Which feels deflating and defeating. But the conditioning is deep and strong. So we berate ourselves. “I’m clearly not doing enough”.
But our souls. Your soul, and mine. They know. They know this isn’t true. In fact, it’s so inaccurate that our souls send us depression and anxiety and injuries and breakdowns to remind us. To bring us back home. To truth. To what really matters.
Because it’s not about how much you do.
It’s about how you be.
It’s about your energy and how you interact with and approach everything within you and between you. It’s the energy with which you show up each day, each living breathing moment that you are given this gift, the miracle of life.
I had to check myself and the narrative I had started to create in my mind, thoughts and words in recent times. Life sometimes tears us down, but how we respond to it, is what matters. I didn’t really have a choice. Life compelled me to peel back the layers and address some of the ways I was victimising myself, giving away my own power, playing within lines that neither match my desires nor hopes, and shirked responsibility for some of the ways my life was unfolding. I had to witness parts of myself that I do not like, and allow them to crumble so that nothing stands between me, who I am really am and life, anew.
For the first time in a long time, perhaps ever, I see clearly, what is before me. Who I am. And that every desire, impulse and ambition is tied to an underlying intelligence that we are all part of. Guiding us back to the truth.
That being is all there really is.
And within that ‘being’ exists the messy, non-linear, unpredictable and extraordinary human life experience.
Ok… so when I started this note, I wasn’t expecting all of this to stream out of me like this, but here we are. We’ve just had an announcement from the captain that we are beginning descent so I am leaving you with the things I originally opened my laptop to tap out a note to you for.
The answers to the two questions I have been asked most frequently about my two offerings:
2. 10 steps to figure out your ‘thing’ for when you’re not sure what your ‘thing’ is or how to start it
I know I’ve been gracing you with my thoughts, words and heart a little more frequently recently. Let me know how you feel about it in the comments below. I’d love to hear from you.
Around here, we do things a little differently...
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