There’s something intimate about seeing the inner workings of one another’s lives. It’s something I think of often, especially with social media taking up so much precious real estate in people’s minds and lives these days. We are intrigued by how we all choose to use our time; comparing and contrasting, learning and envying.
With it comes a strange sense of self-consciousness. A question: am I doing life correctly? This self-consciousness started to run onto the creative areas of my own life recently, blurring the edges, forgetting where I end and the rest of the world begins. Funnily, I am working on a project that sets this particular question aside with the premise that the only way to do life is guided by your intuition. This perception throws the idea of getting it right, right out the window.
As it so happens when I create anything, I fall into a mysterious rabbit hole where I fully embody every aspect of my creation. In this case, IntuiMethod: a practical guide to your intuition and the universe has left me with is a sense of mourning for all those time I overrode my intuition in favour of more safe assurances.
It’s been quite painful to realise that I, self-proclaimed queen of intuitive living, have still often fallen short of my intentions to be fully guided by the unseen, in moments of fear and doubt. What I’m experiencing now is this element of growth, a shedding of shadows, that is entirely uncomfortable and simultaneously necessary to create and birth this thing.
It has me neglecting my usually consistent and vulnerable appearances out in the world as I navigate a sense of vulnerability akin to a naked hermit crab looking for its next shell because it’s outgrown the old one.
There’s lots of change up ahead, but for the moment, I thought I’d share some intimate snippets of what has been happening in the little moments of life, lately.
Lately, I am….
Eating for breakfast: I always start with a pint of warm lemon water, usually followed a matcha latte made with oat milk and honey about an hour later, or oatmeal with hemp seeds and blueberries if I’m feeling really hungry.
Reading: Vagina by Naomi Wolf. I have had moments of outrage, despair, hilarity and astonishment in just the first half of this book, in fact, the first few pages alone led me to have the most passionate and interesting conversation with a cute bartender. If you have a vagina or know people who have vagina’s, this is compulsory reading. I’m also listening to two audiobooks right now: Healing Developmental Trauma and You Are Badass At Making Money and have yet to report back on my insights.
Eyeing up: I’m planning a little adventure around Eastern Europe for the month of June to the tune of something like London —> Berlin — overland by train and boat to Zagreb —> Islands in Croatia —> Montenegro —> Albania —> Corfu / Pathos / western islands of Greece —> back to London. If you are around or have any tips, suggestions and great ideas to share I’m all ears!
Wearing on repeat: A neutral merino wool sweater and leggings because it’s so cold here, still. It’s been day after day of grey which makes European winters look like paradise in comparison.
Inspired by: I’m super into art at the moment. I can’t stop staring at beautiful illustrations, especially those being created by an incredibly talented lady for the IntuiMethod course. I am having fantasies about going to see Picasso at the Tate in May and just want to spend all my days thinking about design, architecture, and making the world beautiful.
Doing before bed: Sipping on Calm Night to help alleviate the incessant mid-night awakenings I have been having. It helps a lot. And I’m watching Collateral on Netflix and reading.
Listening to: I’m currently obsessed with Olafur Arnalds, Jaymes Young and Aftertheparty.
Wishing I was better at: Staying off social media. I have a bit of a weird relationship with it at the moment. I love and appreciate it, especially considering that it is a foundation of my work and income. It’s such a beautiful way to connect and build community. And at the same time, I think it’s easy to mistake it for being central to life, which is clearly not the truth.
Trying to start: Writing more blog posts again. I miss writing and connecting in this long-form way with you. I finally reemerged on the blogging sphere today with this little insight on the shadows that I’m currently working on.