I won’t lie: I get a total buzz from their reaction when people discover my biological age. It’s always a combination of surprised shock, disbelief, and a subtle check-in to see if I’m joking. Particularly when I’m hanging out with late-20-year-olds who assume I’m around the same age as them. They’re always like “Whaaaaat!!! I thought you were like, 28!” Me too, my friend, me too.
According to my birth certificate, I was born in 1981 and turned 37 last week. The truth is: I am kind of dubious about my age also. Is it really possible that I am in my late 30’s?! I don’t feel it, and when I look at the general populace around my age, I don’t see myself in them.
I am often asked what my ultimate secret to my youthful appearance. It’s not genetics, my mother looked harried and worn by the time she hit 30. And it’s not that I have the perfect, stress-free lifestyle or diet or rigid exercise plan. I often choose risks over playing it safe, and eating and doing things that I love over what is defined by others as “healthy” or “right”. I believe in life balance and that anything goes in the right context and amounts.
My secret to looking so young lies in my belief system and the practices I have established to stay aligned to that belief system.
In my early 20’s I learned about epigenetics, a science dedicated to how we can override our genetic and habitual impulses, with intentional thinking and perception. The concept is that we can literally transform ourselves at a cellular level by choosing, with every ounce of our being, to believe in something that we want to be, do, have or experience. It’s basically manifestation on crack with scientific backing. (Which is why I am so obsessed with manifesting practices and teach them.)
I recall the exact day that I chose to stop believing in ageing.
It was a Sunday afternoon — I was 23, in Melbourne, Australia at a party on the outskirts of the city — deep in a meditative state sitting in nature listening to music, when I suddenly realised that I had a choice on how I would age in this life. The idea came to me in a single blindsiding intuitive thought. I understood that I could decide exactly how I wanted life to be, and since I had recently realised that time doesn’t exist, I figured ageing doesn’t either.
In that instant, I set a positive intention for myself. “I choose to dedicate myself to my personal growth, expansion and development for the rest of my life. I want to mature into the full spectrum of myself. AND I will stay young forever.”
That’s my secret. It’s that simple. It’s a conscious choice I made 15 years ago.
Having said that, there are 4 things I do to align myself and live out that intention. They are these:
I process all of my emotions. What I have learned through observation and study is that most people don’t allow themselves to have a full emotional response to something in their experience because they have judged certain emotions like grief, anger, fear, sadness, envy and so on as bad. When that happens the emotion remains stored in the body and face which ages them over time. If you look closely, you can see so much of what a person has experienced, on their face and in the way they hold their body as well as their body shape.
I love the concept that emotions = energy in motion. It’s so important to feel all of your feelings without judgement. The only way out is through so my practice is to allow myself to feel everything I feel, to embrace it and acknowledge it, even when it’s really hard. Eventually, sometimes quickly, sometimes not so quickly, the emotions are processed and move on. This way, I don’t hold anything in my energetic field or body and am not aged by the weight or carrying around excess baggage in the form of old emotions.
I choose to stay playful and joyful. Children and dogs and kittens are such wonderful examples and teachers of this. Are they worried about what happened 5 minutes ago? No. They are just delighted by everything that is happening in life right now. I do my very human best to emulate that. Practising presence is the key here. Nothing matters except this moment right here, right now. It’s all a big cosmic game anyway, and no-one can win or lose at it.
I don’t over-eat. This is something I’ve figured out quite intuitively. Everyone has a different amount of food that they need to fuel their body and mind. I seem to have been gifted with a very energy-efficient vehicle and so how much I need to eat to feel optimum is less than many other people’s. Over-eating makes me feel heavy, sluggish and old, whereas eating the right amount makes me feel energized, happy and light. It’s that simple. I think for me amounts are often more important than what the food is. If I am feeding myself the right amounts my body knows how to draw nutrition out of the food it is getting. Having said that I am a big believer in eating mostly natural whole foods that in season. I like to feel cyclically connected to nature which also helps me feel grounded, centred and present.
I move. I don’t go to the gym or do hectic workouts that freak out my adrenals and central nervous system. I am more a gentle creature than that. I walk a lot: I average around 10 kilometres on most days and do yoga often. And I dance, a lot. All the time, if I can. That’s just what works for me. Everyone is different. I am a massive advocate for figuring out your own natural rhythm and then living life by the unique beat of your own personal heart-drum. Our bodies are made to move and I feel that integrating consistent movement into our everyday lives is an important part of staying youthful.
It’s a funny topic to me, this ageing thing. So much of our society is wrapped up in it. There are supposed checklists to cross off with each age and stage, that so many people measure their success and happiness against. An entire commercial industry rests on the fear of ageing (and hey, I love a good face cream as much as the next girl) that negates people’s self-worth with the concept that unless you are different/better you’ll never be good enough. But age is just an external measurement of the time you’ve had on earth. It has nothing to do with who you are and what you are capable of or how you can live your life.
So, unless I come up with an even better idea, I am going to keep doing what I am doing: living the most authentic expression of my life, which has absolutely nothing to do with how old I am and have an incredible adventure doing it. Wby?
