your number is up. what do YOU want life to FEEL like?

I love living on the perilously fine edge of my own existence. This is where creating your life becomes so very, very real.

And it makes me sad that not everyone is there yet. Because its fun + free + wild + beautiful.
I always knew that life was so much more than social expectations, fulfilling traditions and being on time for social slavery and other obligations that we’ve been set to accept as our undoubted lives. It frustrates and deeply hurts me to see when people have not awakened or become aware of themselves yet. It saddens me that not everyone has realised that we have the power to consciously create our lives, and make choices every single day of our lives.
This is an extreme view of what “normal” society looks like:
Be a robot.
Get up in time to rush your way out the door in order to make it just in time to your job where no one appreciates your uniqueness, creativity or value you have to offer as an individual. Make sure you always arrive just in the nick of time with a harassed wide eyed look of exasperation on your face, like a wild animal that’s in fight or flight mode.
Stay dull.
Make sure that you stay within the box, converse with people on themes that are acceptable, add your common complaints and generally bemoan the suffering and lack and unhappiness that is your life, which clearly is the fault of everyone and everything except for your own. You are a victim of life.
Do not, absolutely not, in any case whatsoever, have independent thoughts.
Independent thoughts are incredibly dangerous. They may make you stray from the pack, do things differently and essentially have you shunned from your workplace, community and society in general. Instead, make sure you are so overwhelmed, stressed and busy that you don’t have a moment to have a creative thought in your head. That way you will remain in the safe strongholds of “reality”.
Slowly kill yourself.
Eat food-like substances that contain no nutrition which are not only slowly poising you but also destroying the earth. Remain completely disconnected with life and how EVERY SINGLE CHOICE YOU MAKE MATTERS. Drink until you are so drunk that you cannot contain yourself in an effort to get further away from yourself because facing what you have become is too painful. Smoke your youth, you self love and your lungs into oblivion because the way you treat your own body is the way you interact with you world. With discord and contempt.
Strive to reach the unobtainable.
That’ll keep you busy! A bigger house, a faster car, more debt, better plastic surgery, wealthier friends, a grander job title and so on. Since happiness is only accessible through the external portals of achieving and obtaining things, you must push and work and strive against the current until you fall over from exhaustion.
This is what I know to be true:
Be true to yourself.
You are a unique individual made up of star dust. You have a one-of-a-kind set of skills, talents, passions and experiences within you. This arsenal is your wealth and therefore you already have everything you need. Every step you take on the silken, silver thread of your journey, Life will take five towards you to support you. You are never alone and always taken care of.
Express yourself.
You are Life, manifesting and articulating itself through you. Your only job is to feel this experience, to enjoy it, to embrace it and to play with it. Stay within your own bliss and trust that everything is exactly as it should be. Any pain, suffering or hurt you experience is simply a lesson to bring you closer to yourself, to source, to truth, freedom, beauty and love.
Indulge in your creativity.
You have so much to give, to share, to teach and to learn. Every single independent thought and idea you have is a creative one. Allow this creativity to flow into you, through you and out of you in whichever form that you enjoy sharing it the most. Everything is art anyway; even accounting.
Treasure yourself and your body.
This vessel is your gift to use during this lifetime. Cherish it, honor it, enjoy it and love it. Think beautiful thoughts about yourself, your life and others. Nourish it with Life force giving foods and beverages. Move it in ways that feel joyful and energizing. Take pleasure in experience Life through the body you have been given. This life is a sensual, exotic experience and your body is the gateway between the physical and metaphysical world that we live in.
Realise that peace is simply a choice away.
Acceptance of what is, in the NOW, in the present moment is all you need in order to connect with inner peace. And inner peace has a ripple effect cast out into external peace. And then world peace. You already are who you are meant to be. Life will strive on your behalf to make sure so have everything you need and want. Everything already is here for you. You simple need to accept it. Learn to receive the gifts that are beholden to you.
imageHow, you ask?
I implore you to move away from what feels artificial, hard, harsh, constrained and contracting in your life, and instead move towards those things that feel natural, easy, freeing, gentle, soft, abundant and expansive.
Your number is up. Choose the life you REALLY want.
Move in the direction of what makes you feel good.
This is how you know that you are going the right way.

the listomania riposte. 112 dreams to realise in 2012 results are in!!!

Remember this from the end of last year? Well, here are the long awaited results! Some of you have been asking so I know you are just as curious to find out as I am!

  1. Remember to breathe. I’ve gotten so much better at taking time out….
  2. Bake. For my friends. I love to bake and haven’t done so for hmmm… at least a year now. I want to make decadent, delicious cakes and cookies for the people I love.  Done! Here are the recipes 1, 2 & 3.
  3. Tune into presence. All the time. Sit in my sweet spot and trust. GETTING SO GOOD AT THIS xx
  4. Finish stitching, beading and creating the leather handbag I started making in London in 2008. I didn’t event start….
  5. Read more books than last year…. YES, in fact I’ve read 18 books this year! Here are some of them.
  6. Go to L’etoile in Paddington. TICK! Thank you Allen for this one …. you are an angel.
  7. Eat less sugar. I’ve fallen off the sugar-free wagon a little since Christmas and I need to get back on it. I feel so much better when I’m not consuming sugar. It’s a lifestyle choice now, I avoid sugar as much as I can on a daily basis but don’t beat myself about it if I have some.
  8. Spend a weekend in Melbourne. Didn’t happen…
  9. Go to Burning Man in late August. Also didn’t happen because I didn’t get a ticket in their ticket lottery, but I went to Boom Festival in Portugal instead!
  10. Spend a month in New York. Maybe next year!
  11. Travel through South America from the bottom up ending my journey at the Rainbow Gathering in Guatemala in December. I’ve unexpectedly been traveling through Europe the past 5 months, but still have Mexico set in my sights… Who knows what might happen!
  12. Write an e-book/ course. I’ve been writing…it’s coming!
  13. Write at least two guest posts per month. (So far so good, I’ve had one published this month with another scheduled coming up)  YES! Though it’s been more like 1 a month….
  14. Meet the most fascinating, inspirational people that I have ever encountered. ALWAYS xx
  15. Be a better friend. (Sometimes I am terrible at keeping in touch and showing how much I care …. I want to do so more.) I believe so….
  16. Get clear on what is important in my life and welcome people who share the same values. This has been a bit blurry at the edges….I think I need to get clearer here!
  17. Fall in love. I did. And I also learnt that falling in love is a choice, not just something you tumble into. It’s not all chemistry & hormones….you have to make a real life choice. Unfortunately this time I had to choose no….
  18. Go gently. Don’t be so hard on myself. YES! And ditto to the next 4 below:
  19. Practise the art of allowing.
  20. Life harmony is not the same as life balance. I don’t have to have all the balls in the air at the same time.
  21. Listen more slowly.
  22. Tell more stories.
  23. Write to my grandparents at least once a month. I know it means so much to them. My grandfather died in April and I went to visit my grandmother in Austria in September… That’s better than writing.
  24. Sell all the designer clothes that I never wear. And spend the money on something I really, really love! No…
  25. Commandeer an iPad. I gifted myself one…which is not quite commandeering…
  26. Go to Officeworks and stock up on notepads. My collection of scribbled on papers scattered across my room is starting to move from charming chaos to enigmatic mess.
  27. Manage my time a little more efficiently. (Plan without planning – if that’s at all possible! The trouble is, my nature rejects schedules and plans … I kind of have to trick myself with this one!) Still working on this one….
  28. Break up with social media.It’s not you – it’s me! Let’s just be friends and hang out sometimes, rather than spending every single minute together! (You’re suffocating me!) I’ve radically cut down and only use it for growing my connections and business…
  29. Over the winter, watch all the films that I keep getting recommended and never see. I think this one needs a list. Any movie-buff-list-makers out there who want to help? Email me!
  30. Perfect the back-walker. I can go back. But I can’t seem to quite kick over yet. Soon. TBC!
  31. Get over my body image issues once and for all. Gulp. This one is scary. (Let’s practice a little radical self-love shall we!) YES! Finally :)
  32. Stretch myself. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. Try new things. Yes, but really am craving more yoga…
  33. Be more compassionate and understanding. We are all humans after all. Easy!
  34. Host a dinner party. Complete with fairy lights and candles and live music and chocolate gateau. It was a grand success and I was so thrilled! Can’t wait to do it again.
  35. Learn about wine. Still not…
  36. Organically, gracefully and easily develop my business so it flourishes and is successful on all levels. It’s happening but more slowly than I’d like….. I’d need some help I feel….
  37. Allow lots of space for the unexpected. Always…..
  38. Slow down. Getting there…slowly! Ha!
  39. Play with children, more than I have been. Not so much….
  40. Kiss a man with a moustache. Just for the experience. Totally did this, I came with the falling in love experience. And I miss him….
  41. Relax. Allow my body to fully relax. I feel relaxing is a continuous learning process…I can always relax a little bit more! As is No.41 below….
  42. Let go. Of control. Of knowing the outcome. Of expectations. Everything. I’m quite good with this but imagine how amazing life would be if I completely let go of trying to control it. If just showed up, did my part, shared my sparkle and let what ever may happen, happen. Wow! Just the idea blows my mind. 
  43. Go to Tetsuya’s in the city. No.
  44. Ride the rides at Luna Park with my sister and take loads of photos of our silliness. No.
  45. Make green smoothies. I know they’re good for me. I even like them. But I’m just not making them. Really got into them this year and felt the benefits permeate every nook of my body and soul… LOVE green smoothies! Here’s a recipe of one I loved.
  46. Remember not to take life too seriously. YES!
  47. Practise my Spanish. Desperately need to do this, it’s getting embarrassingly awful!
  48. Write a loooong letter to my mama about everything. She doesn’t know me at all. Maybe she never will but I can try! SO WORTH IT! 
  49. Make peace with my ex. I really hope he speaks to me again one day and we can be friends. I guess breaking someones heart makes them not want to talk to you anymore. I think we did make up… Kind of.
  50. Enjoy each moment as it comes. Feel the width and the breadth of it. Taste it. Smell it. Be in it. YES! It’s an ongoing project….
  51. Figure out how I can monetize my talents. Seek out someone practical who can help me. I need a second brain for this. Ammm so …. anyone? Have done so but need more strategy & assistance…
  52. Buy socks. Done. Twice.
  53. Write every single one of my friends a love letter and send it via post. With stamps and everything. Amazing! I did write letters and post them to 7 friends. It’s a start!
  54. Print this insane listomania out and put it somewhere I can see it so I actually remember to do all these things. Done
  55. Figure out how to use all of my flying points with different airlines and hotels to the best of my advantage. I have no idea and it’s all so confusing. I need help from someone who is good with numbers and details. Both things that I detest. (I’m one of those people who still uses their fingers to count. Yes. I know.) STILL HAVE NO IDEA!!!
  56. Go for a long weekend away to Byron Bay. Ammm I spent a day there. Does it count?
  57. Convince my landlady to put me on a rolling lease. I really hate stiff contracts. They make me feel uneasy. It’s like clipping my wings. I moved house instead….
  58. Go to a sex toy shop with my sister and check out the goods without acting like a demented teenager. Really. I shouldn’t be embarrassed about these things anymore. Yet to accomplish!
  59. Create the MOST AMAZING COSTUME EVER for Secret Garden festival in March. With face paint, warrior-fairy style. And a leopard print kimono. It was pouring so the outfit became obsolete but I had a ball dancing in the rain!
  60. Be still. Allow more stillness into my life. YES! Also an ongoing project…
  61. Spend my money more consciously. Don’t buy crap. Buy beautiful things that last a long time. And less of them. Spend my money on things I really value. (I can be a tad frivolous at times!) DONE! Same for the following 4 points below….
  62. Don’t think too much.
  63. Don’t think about what other people might think. It really doesn’t matter.
  64. Have fun. All the time. (I do this anyway but there’s no harm in reminding myself.)
  65. Go on an exclamation mark detox!!!!! They seem to creep into everything I right far more than is appropriate.
  66. Proof read my writing a bit more before I publish. Euch! It’s that whole attention to detail thing! I hate it. Erm, this still hasn’t been accomplished. I accept that as one of my lovable flaws…
  67. Have at least one afternoon/evening totally to myself per week. I need time alone to recharge. YES!!
  68. Discover new intricacies about the people I call my friends. I love exploring the people in my life.
  69. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Don’t be afraid to fail. Move through and past those fears. Do it and see what happens. Either way it’s a wonderful learning experience.
  70. Convince my employers to gift me with a new iPhone. Because I deserve it. I am my employer now, and well, I’m a little difficult to convince nowadays…something about expenses & income having to be proportionate or something….
  71. Go through my inbox and file and tidy and organise the 1000’s of emails that are making life a little convoluted. YES!
  72. Practise gratitude the moment my mind wanders into a realm of complaint. And any other time. It works so good and makes life amazing. YES, YES & YES!
  73. Communicate my feelings and thoughts more clearly. Face to face. In spoken words. The bane of my existence….in the face of confrontation I loose it….I stop communicating…something I’d really like to change….
  74. Cry if I feel like it. Things sometimes are worth crying over. Give myself the permission to feel my emotions and then get over it. I tend to skip straight to the get-over-it part. The feeling part is important too. Definitely accomplished.
  75. Take the time to sit down and write more. Often I write while also doing 20 other things at the same time. Little inspirations come to my mind and I jot them down; my mornings often involve me bouncing between the bathroom and the notebook on my bed. Perhaps if I took the time to sit down with them I could take it a little deeper. The again if I wait to write when I have time, the thoughts may have already passed. It’s like trying to capture a cheeky pixie. Very slippery. I give myself a tick for this one…it may not have been consistent but it happened!
  76. Hold his hand. ‘Cause I like it. I’m obligation free. It’s just a gesture of affection. Another yes which went along with the whole falling in love thing….
  77. Don’t cut my hair. At all. Not even once this year. Just to experiment and see what happens. I had it cut twice, from friends who are hairdressers. I couldn’t say no!
  78. Make a dream catcher from dried vines, wool, shells and semiprecious stones and feathers I have collected over the past 10 years of my travels. I still want to do this…
  79. Allow myself to move from super groomed to a little more wild again. I’m tired of the common “Sydney” look. I’m breaking free.
  80. Have a really beautiful dinner with my dearest friends for my birthday. Complete with sparklers and birthday cake and lots of wine. I didn’t have a birthday this year…I’m saving it for another time…which means I’m actually still 30 FYI!
  81. Learn how to dance with a man.
  82. Do something really super romantic and wonderful at least once a month.
  83. Fly a kite.
  84. Go sailing or on some kind of boat trip. Cause I love it.
  85. Have more real, deep and meaningful conversations. I hate small talk and mostly I just move away from it. Perhaps if I could engage people to communicate a little deeper I could stay in the conversations for longer. YES!
  86. Be more accepting of others. I’m an idealist. A philosopher. A dreamer. I expect everyone else to be this way too. But I realise they’re not. And that’s ok. YES!
  87. Have patience. With life. With outcomes. With myself. With others. Things often just need time. YES!
  88. Host a Mad Hatters Tea Party. We can all be Alice. I’ll try to find some magic mushrooms. Still on my Definitely To Do List. I did find magic mushrooms though.
  89. Define exactly what I want my life to look and feel like. Get clear on it. Write it out and go live life on my own terms. Use my imagination and then go beyond even that. High aspirations. No expectations. Must Do This!
  90. Tell all the people I admire, how and why I admire them. They inspire me and deserve to know so.
  91. Go on lots of picnics.
  92. Stop checking Google Analytics stats quite so much, my monthly excel spreadsheet is truly quite sufficient. Focus on what’s actually important instead. (Building an Empire of Revolutionary Love). Yep, it’s under control!
  93. Write down my dreams as soon as I awake. Something magical might come out of them.
  94. Learn how to make chocolate soufflé. I still want to learn this….
  95. Write a gig review. Just to try it out and see if I can do it. It seems daunting and intimidating but I go to so many festivals and music gigs, it’s certainly a valuable skill I could develop.
  96. Experiment. With everything. Always!
  97. Go on a road trip without a destination in mind. Discover new and wonderful places.
  98. Hula hoop lots more and learn some really cool tricks I can show off at parties. (Perhaps buy a hula hoop so I can do this).
  99. Read every single Dr Seuss book ever written. Not quite but I went to Dr Seuss a exhibition instead which was AMAZING!
  100. Make at least one video blog aka vlog for this year. Get help with the post-production so it looks AMAZING! I still want to do this…and the next 9 are yet to be completed too….
  101. Go to Confest at Easter and present some workshops ….. on topics not yet decided.
  102. Do a flash-mob-dance-off.
  103. Stay awake all night and watch the sunrise at the beach. And then skinny dip in the ocean.
  104. Minimise my collection of belongings. Do I really need all those books and things? Less is more I say.
  105. Burn my journals and notebooks from the past 10 years (after I’ve copied out all the juicy stuff).
  106. Blow bubbles in the park and play with glitter and take photos of these little moments of joy and amusement.
  107. Create a photo album of my life for my family.
  108. Sell all the 100’s of pieces of jewellery that I have collected to sell from my travels over the past few years.
  109. Wear more accessories. Aiming to look like a pirate crossed with a nymph.
  110. Expand my music collectionOpen my ears to new and wonderful sounds. Try out something new.
  111. Go for walks along the beach in the winter, even when it’s cold. LOVED THIS!
  112. Trust in the process of life. It is truly very amazing and magical, even when my mind tries to conjure up ridiculous ideas of defeat. Getting so good at this! Yay!

How did your dreams come into fruition this past year? x

actions speak louder than words

There is a power in taking confident strides in the direction of your dreams.
This power is so overwhelming, all-consuming, that it leaves little room for doubt and fear.
Live as if your success is inevitable and it will come and find you, where you stand.
There are now words, no drawn up plans, no well researched assurances or mapped out strategies that will take you as far as you actions, one step at a time, will.
Your actions are the sign that you have been waiting for.
Take action in the direction of what you truly want. Small steps is all it takes.
Make that phone call. Write that email. Read that book. Buy that flight. Choose yes. Choose no. Say goodbye. Draft your notice. Ask him/her out. Get on that train, bus, plane. Move. Dance. Be. Try something. Climb that mountain. Go there. Smile. Talk to a stranger. Cry. Laugh. Step outside your boundaries. Write. Sing. Create. Build.
Actions speak louder than words.
They tell the world that you’re ready. You are ready. For your veritable dreams. For your life to be the one that you have conceived for yourself.
Rush into the arms of the world with your heart wide open. It’s all there, waiting for you to grasp hold of it. To ride its wild, buccaneering saddle and allow life to come through you.
Take action and watch how the world summons itself to support you and give you all that you need.
Your actions speak louder than words.

the 9 rules for being human

Handed down from ancient Sanskrit.
Like it or not it will be yours for the entire period round. Respect it. Care for it. Love it.
You are enrolled in a full time informal school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You make enjoy the lessons or young think that they are stupid or irrelevant.
Growth is a process of trial and error, experimentation. The ‘failed’ experiments are as much part of the process as the ones that work.
A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learnt it. Then you can go on to the next lesson.
There is no part of life that does not contain lessons. If you are alive there are lessons to be learned.
When your ‘there’ has become ‘here’ you will simply obtain another ‘there’ that looks better than ‘here’ again.
You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.
You have all the tools and resources that you need, what you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours….
The answers to life’s questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen and trust.

procrastination + the art of life

The beautiful and endearing Rachel from In Spaces Between wrote a fantastic piece titled Do The Work: Inspired Action in the Face of Procrastination recently. I sat there reading her wonderfully strung together words, nodding my head thinking, “Yes, yes, I totally know what you mean. In fact I was there pretty much all of last week”.
In reading these musings that so many of us resonate with, I wanted to add another element.
Sometimes procrastination is necessary. It is part of the process in creating content. We are socialised to be DO’ers. To accomplish tasks, to meet deadlines, to fulfil commitments and to generally be productive with a tangible outcome that can be measured. Words written. Assignments completed. Dishes done. Facebook updated. Dog walked. Art project finished. Creative process outlined.
However, I notice within myself that when I consciously choose NOT to feel guilty about neglecting to do what I have assigned myself and just accept where im at right mow, no matter how much I love to do it, if I’m not feeling it in that moment, then there is no point in forcing it out of myself. Of course, there are plenty of times where I have work to do, work that I adore, but I just don’t feel like doing it! And so I let it go, move on. In the letting go, the inspiration returns, in it’s own time, providing with it a flurry of new ideas and the drive to let it all tumble out of you.
Rachel’s article wouldn’t have been what it is had she not tapped into herself, let it go and accepted that right now, she wasn’t going to accomplish what she had set out for herself to do, and in that letting go inspired her to write and share with us a topic that we all deal with, some on a daily basis. Procrastination.
Sometimes, it’s about letting go and accepting yourself in the space that you show up in this moment. When I plague myself with guilt and try to force a creative element out it seems to extend my romance with procrastination. When I let it go and focus on doing things that make me feel good, I easily and happily return to the project I have at hand.
I think these moments in time of not-doing, are as equally valuable as the times where we are creating output. They are the times where we absorb the lessons and inspiration around us in order to share something of value. These are the times where we connect with BE-ing rather than DO-ing and this is beneficial in order to have content to create and share. After all, I believe it was Elkhart Tolle that asked “Are you a human Being or a human Doing?”

Image source unknown.

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