Tethers are obligations, commitments, memories or beliefs that keep me from fully experiencing all of myself or from moving forward creatively, intuitively and spontaneously.
Tethers bind us to places, people or things and while there is great value in these tethers from time to time, there is also great value in untethering. In letting go.
It was around the time that I wrote You Are Ready, More Than You Know, that I realised that this calling, this yearning in my heart and the message that came out of me in those words was as much for me as it was for you. Is for me. I am ready, more than I know. I am ready to untether, to let go and start facing a new direction.
It was an intuition, a gentle push to go where my heart is calling me and my spirit is yearning for. It’s time to walk my talk and take that leap of faith to a place that people don’t often go. Into the dream-world. Into the unknown. Into the immeasurable. I have heard the calling. I listened and I said to my soul “You know where I want to go. What my dreams are and the joys I want to experience. If I let go, will you take me there?“
The answer came back crystal clear. “Trust and I will take you there.”
So I am untethering.
A new movement has filled my world and one by one my life has started to change direction. I started off with plans to finish my “day job” and go full-time working for myself with writing and coaching. I could feel I was ready to take that step. I am untethering from the illusion of the safety of receiving a salary every fortnight instead of trusting in my own money-making abilities and that the universe would conspire to support me in whatever I need. I recognise that I don’t need to “make a living” as I am already alive. I know that I can just BE, do the things that I love and everything will fall into place. Just keep following the love.
Then some more twists and turns occurred and I recognised the calling to leave Sydney. I am untethering from structured city living. This part of the process surprised me. Although I was definitely on the path to go traveling in the near future, I was certain I still had another 6 months in the picturesque and intricate, twisted city. Sydney has been the first place in many years that I have settled down and grown some roots. But life called out with explicit signs that it was time to move on. The north wind picked up and said to me “Girl, it’s time to go. Follow your dreams.”
I am untethering from routines, from social expectations, from structured life and from everyday commitments. I am restructuring the things that I do so that I am no longer tied to them, but rather living out what feels to be right for me in each any every moment. I will still be writing, Because I LOVE it. I will still be coaching. Because I LOVE it. But how and when may change as I figure it all out.
This is what’s happening:
- Saturday 7 July 2012 I am departing Sydney, driving north to visit friends and my mum for a few weeks.
- I am going to take some time and space to re-evaluate EVERYTHING and where I want to take things from here. What is important to me.
- I will still be writing and posting on schedule as much as possible. If things are little unusual around here, I am sure you will understand. But I will most certainly be here.
- I have weaned all of my physical 1 to 1 coaching clients in Sydney off or converted them to Skype or email sessions if we still have more work to do. I am so grateful and joyful for all of my clients and their generous understanding!
- In the time between now and the end of this month I am going to book a one way flight. Location yet undetermined.
- The rest I am still yet to figure out.
I am untethering myself from a common or traditional way of life and concurrently am spreading my wings and re-learning how to fly. Because the only way for me to learn to fly is to jump out of the nest.
By the end of this month I will have bought a one way plane ticket. To where exactly I am not yet sure. I will let you know. I invite you to embark on this journey of truth, love and self-discovery with me. Let’s see where it can take us!
Life is much like a dance.
You learn the steps, you take one at a time, follow the rhythm of the music and allow yourself to be guided through.
And sometimes you’re just spinning, spinning, spinning.
I’m at the spinning bit at the moment. Life is taking me for a little twirl and causing me to change, to grow, to transform yet again ~ and coming to a whole new level. This is what’s been happening recently:
Near the beach
with one really lovely and supportive housemate
who is likeminded;
a spacious, light filled room in a clean and tidy house
full of nurturing and peaceful energy.
Less than a month ago I was sitting in one of my favourite cafe’s in Bondi with the lovely Connie from A Life of Perfect Days chatting about life and love and how lovely Bondi is, what a great community it has full of all sorts of people from the ego-centric to the pseudo-spiritual, the yogic and the inane, and how fun and and wonderful it would be to live here.
Less than a week later my landlady decided to increase my rent on my gorgeous albeit tiny studio apartment by $50 a week. It was clearly a sign that it was time to move on. As much as I loved my one-girl-home I don’t love people taking the piss and asking for crazy amounts for rent. I mean, really, the rental prices in Sydney are high enough! So, within hours of receiving the notification in the mail I began looking for a room and home to share. I decided I was ready to live with someone else again. I had a pretty clear idea of what I wanted and asked the universe for the following:
Clearly, that is exactly what I found. After a couple of hours of looking online on a flatmate search site I found the perfect place. I just knew it from the moment I encountered it and made an appointment for a viewing for the coming weekend.
As soon as I met the girl who was looking to share the flat and had a look at the place I felt at home and was already a little bit in love. Within half an hour we agreed that we wanted to love together and the next day I gave 2 weeks notice on my studio and started packing.
Such unexpected changes in life tend to signify tremendous changes in myself as well. As without so within. It’s the world telling me that I’m ready for new things. That I’ve reached a new playing ground.
When I first moved into my studio apartment, it was the first time that I had ever lived alone, it was a space for escape and for healing at the end of a tumultuous, emotionally manipulative relationship, which also signified the end and resolution of a lot of unrequited behaviour patterns that I had carried with me from childhood. As challenging as it was, I had to go through this relationship with full awareness in order to recognise the old habits and patters, resolve them and restore harmony in my life.
In saying this, that relationship also gave me many wonderful things; it was a warm and cosy, loving, comfortable place to be in when things were good.
So, living on my own for the first time signified a massive commitment to myself and the need to be selfish for some time, to give myself the space and time that I needed without the interference or consent of others.
Time passed and I grew stronger, happier, more confident. I released the past and learnt from the experiences and became at ease with myself again, something that I felt I had lost somehow along the way.
A year and a half later, life decided that I was clearly ready to leave my introverted nest and spread my wings again. And it’s true, I really was ready! So here I am, living with a lovely new friend, by the beach in Bondi, a renewed person with a whole new host of gifts, skills and experiences to share with you.
I love change. I embrace it. I allow it to spin me around and give myself the time to catch my breath and find my balance again. Right now I’m waiting for the spinning to stop and to find my sweet spot again.
In the meantime, I am going to share with you how I accelerated my inner change through a 10 Day Master Cleanse in the two weeks prior to my move (post will be coming soon) and my current domestic goddess phase with lots of delicious and nutritious food ideas. After all taking care of your health is one of the best ways to nurture and take care of yourself. It is an optimum example of self love.
When I return with a new sense of equilibrium we will continue our journey into the deeper aspects of our soul’s psyche with thoughts and concepts on truth, love and self realisation.
Photography by Metin Demiralay.
It’s most definitely Autumn here in Sydney now.
A beautiful albeit wet summer has come to an end and the days are getting shorter, the evenings are dark earlier and daylight savings hasn’t even ended yet. I love that sensation of moving from one season to another. There is definitely a change in the air, but it’s slow enough to make preparations for it. Slowly the warm winter clothes are moving from the back of the wardrobe to the front. The summer deep golden tans on Bondi has started to fade to a lighter bronze. Salads and green smoothies are being swapped for soups and hot teas.
I’m loading my external hard drive up with movies to watch, my bedside table is filling with new books and a big trip to Officeworks is planned to stock up on notebooks, stationary and pens to keep this creative little minx with ample opportunities to allow her art to spill forth.
Although I infinitely cherish the summer months, there is a settling quietness to the cooler times of the year which allow us to hibernate, culminate and let our ideas form. It is the perfect time to create a new plan, one that can be planted to blossom and grow in the Spring. I don’t feel the impetuous urge to attend every social event that crops up and rather find an endearing indulgence in sharing my time with those that I am already close to and that bring so much wealth into my life experience.
It is the season to spend more time with a lover, to touch and tantalise and cuddle and curl up amongst mounds of feather down pillows and duvets and snuggle and read and philosophise about the meaning of life and love and why sea shells make the noise they do when you hold them to your ear, and quarrel about whose turn it is to get up and make another pot of tea.
Then there are those of you who are welcoming Spring with open arms. Ready to shake off the heaviness of icy cold toes and fingers and layers upon layers of clothing and to just be able to be free and move and breathe without tiny little icicles dripping from the tips of your noses.
You’ve seen more than enough of your lover, watched every film you own at least thrice and are ready to roll out the latest project, unravel 5 months worth of knitting and dance off the recent indulgences in sweet pastries and hot chocolates that have been brightening the grey and weary winter’s days. Your energy levels are pulsating and ready to be let off the chain, your creative juices are flowing and you want to embrace life, live it, move out from within the hibernation cave and breathe again amongst the birds and the trees and the blossoms that are peeking their little buds out to greet the sun’s rays.
Whilst I’m shading down the summer brights with more subtle earthy colours, soft knits and subdued shades of white, black and grey, you are pulling out your floral miniskirts and off-the-shoulder tops to pair with stockings in excited expectation for the warmer days. Out comes the skin baring sheer complicated fabrics that we call dresses which I am carefully folding and hiding away.
We are moving with the seasons of life. Change. And all that it encompasses.
home is not a place. it is a feeling.
to me, I feel most at home in the spaces between. the space between somewhere and elsewhere. I love the feeling in the train, in the bus on the motorbike, when you know you’re going somewhere but without expectations or knowledge of that place. it’s a sense of freedom. the sense of flinging yourself into the arms of the world with no idea of what might happen and pockets full of faith.
I haven’t travelled for 2 years now. quick breaks, holidays, yes. but that’s not travelling. that’s just leaving your current reality with the intention to return to the safety of what you know. travelling is letting go. completely. of everything you know + watching, waiting, becoming an observer. surrendering to the unknown and seeing where it takes you.
and my heart hurts because of it. this feeling washes over me in waves akin to having your umbilical cord cut. separated from that which nourishes you.
for some months it subsides as I converse with myself that right now I am making the choice to stay. because sometimes it’s good to stay. to grow roots. to feel grounded in a space. things grow when you stay. relationships flourish + form. and that just because the north wind blows doesn’t mean I must rise + throw myself into the tempest…
then it returns and breezes about my shoulders. sings sweetly into my ears. into my soul.
“let me carry you away with me”
like a long-lost lover it intoxicates me with whimsical dreams of undiscovered shores. exotic sights and sounds. the song of wanderlust is enchanting and casts a spell over me. an inner struggle passes through and I bide my time with promises for the future. promises which I know I will keep. because it’s in my blood. my heart will not stop drumming the gyspy beats until my feet once again are wayfaring.
ergo until the opportune moment arises I persevere. adventures in this concrete jungle are just as wonderful as those in lands unchartered. they simply come with a different set of rules. it’s more challenging to surrender control. to let go. but staying in one place gives you the richness and depth of life that travelling cannot. so, for now, I stay. be still my gyspy heart.
Image source 1 + 2.
To continue on my detox series which you can read about here and here let me share with you my experiences of my recent exploration into juice cleansing: a foray into the 12 day juice detox.
Juice cleansing promises to not only clean your body’s hardworking system, but to also help you improve your health and since it’s Spring time, why not spring cleanse?!
The juices presented in many variants of the juice diet include wholesome ingredients from a myriad of vegetables and fruits. Fresh juices have the added benefit of being abundantly plentiful in antioxidants, vitamins, natural antibiotics, and anti-inflammatory substances as well as active ingredients that boost immunity and vitality. Some juices also contain enzymes that can improve the digestive process.
Many people in the Western world today have measurable levels of specific toxins in their systems as a result of lifestyle, exposures in the environment, and other factors. These chemical substances include pesticides, PCBs (from plastics), lead, mercury, cadmium and other heavy metals, dioxins, herbicides – the list goes on.
In the healthy person, the body has been genetically wired to self-detoxify with the assistance of the skin, liver, kidneys, intestine and lymphatic system. However, in the face of modern day strains, an additional yearly or seasonal detoxification process can be helpful.
Juice cleansing allow the body to imbibe large quantities of rapidly available nutrients, in many cases more nutrients than the individual obtains through a regular diet. The minerals and nutrients contained in juice can help break down and eliminate old or dying cells, enliven active cells, and speed the process of new cellular growth. Raw juices contain all the following elements:
- Vitamin K (especially prevalent in dark leafy green vegetables), which promotes bone strength, the immune system, and healthy blood.
- Minerals such as calcium, copper, magnesium, potassium, phosphorus, boron, zinc, and selenium.
- Organic sulfur compounds, which help to destroy poisonous chemicals and cleanse the bloodstream and liver.
- Polyphenols (the plant molecules which give fruits and vegetables their color) serve as potent antioxidants.
- Additional antioxidants such as vitamin C, vitamin E, flavanoids, beta carotene and others.
- Anti inflammatory agents.
- Powerful antibiotic substances.
- Living enzymes to improve digestion.
- Phytochemicals that help the immune system battle disease.
The juice cleanse that I decided to be a part of was the Organic Low Fruit Cleanse (to keep my sugar intake low) provided by a local Sydney company called Schkinny Maninny, whose unfortunate name directs people to think that juice cleansing is for weight loss when in truth with all the nutrients and calories in the juices you will only lose weight if you have weight to lose.
“Our Low Fruit Cleanse is a combination of juices, soups and smoothies made from a combination of vegetables, legumes, nuts and seeds with only a little fruit. The Low Fruit Cleanse contains about 1/4 the fruit of the Standard Cleanse, and consequently less sugar. This is our most challenging program and it is rich in antioxdants and cleansing vegetable juices. There is little variation in this cleanse as it based on a Naturopath program designed for people with fructose intolerances. The soups are lovely and you also get your protein and unsaturated fats from nuts and seeds. “
The menu includes:
- Leap Frog – a refreshing green smoothie of spinach, parsley, kiwi, apple and cucumber
- Vego Mego – a zesty combination of beetroot, spinach, lemon, celery and ginger
- Lentil Luncheon – a spicy legume and tomato based soup
- Vego Mego – a zesty combination of beetroot, spinach, lemon, celery and ginger
- Coll, Meg and Lee Soup – a creamy soup of cauliflower, leek, sunflower seeds, celery and nutmeg (unfortunately I really dislike cauliflower)
- Sleep Well – a relaxing nut smoothie of almonds, brazil nuts and almond milk
How did I go with my adventure into the juice cleansing world? Here are the dirty details!
Day 1. It’s 6.45am and my door buzzer goes off…the delivery man is here! For some reason he can’t seem to get in so I bounce down the 4 levels to meet him. My first delivery arrives complete with 6 x 600ml juices, a tiny pot of sunflower and pumpkin seeds to chew on, epsom salts (I wish I had a bath!!) and a loofah to scrub those toxins away. I’m excited, delighted and surprised by how much juice there is. There’s no way I’m going to get hungry here! Each juice is labeled with a number to order them, I put the 2 evening juices away in the fridge, keep 3 to take to work and settle back into bed for my first green morning Leap Frog juice. It’s delicious! And full of fibre from the cucumber. I’m definitely full at the end. I have my next juice, the Vego Mego at around 10am after which I get a dull throbbing headache. I slowly persevere at work and by 3pm I have had my lunch time juice and am on to my second round of the Vego Mego. The headache is gone but I am oh so sleepy! I close my eyes and put my feet up at my desk for 15 minutes. The rest of the day I feel tired but happy. I LOVE the bed time juice which is brazil nut and almond milk. Divine!
Day 2 + 3. I bounce out of bed full of energy and excitement and even have a techno dance party in my bedroom at 6am before I get ready for work on Day 3. My body feels great and full of energy. Detox symptoms are minimal, I just get tired easily, nothing more.
Day 4. Euch! This is a tough one. I struggle to wake up and am still tired. I have a metallic taste in my mouth – an indication that my body is eliminating heavy metals. I feel pretty blah all day with cycles of headaches, drowsiness, difficulty focusing + lethargy. I’m also craving solid food, even things I don’t even normally eat! I know that my body is now coming into a state of ketosis and the detox is in full force. Lots of water and early to bed!
Days 5 – 10. It varies throughout each day but I either feel extremely energetic or a little light-headed and sleepy. I have lost most of my appetite and only manage to have 3-4 of the juices out of the 6 each day: the Leap Frog, the 2 Vego Mego and some of the nut milk. I feel amazing, my body feels light and I am happy. Pure optimism permeates my days!
Day 11 + 12. Even though I am excited about eating again (scrambled eggs have featured heavily in my imagination!) I am actually really sad that the detox is ending. I feel like I could keep going like this forever were it not for it complicating my social life! I started to read about Accutane on the Internet and came across an article on https://summitps.org/accutane-isotretinoin/ about the pros and cons of Accutane, and still decided to take it. Accutane is a Dutch pill, which subsequently gives an excellent result. There are not so many contraindications, but there are enough side effects, so you need to be prepared for anything. My skin is glowing and dewy, I feel super healthy, happy and radiant and all my winter blues are gone! Bring on the summer I say!