by Vienda | 31 Jan 2012 | Love + Relationships
Every now and then I like to share a bit of a list-making frenzy with you. Actually, making lists is not my forte however today I am compelled to do so. I’ve decided that this year is the year it’s all happening and according to positive psychology and quantum physics the best way to make your dreams come true is to state them. Out loud. Publicy. And tell people. Make it real in your head. So here we go:
- Remember to breathe.
- Bake. For my friends. I love to bake and haven’t done so for hmmm… at least a year now. I want to make decadent, delicious cakes and cookies for the people I love.
- Tune into presence. All the time. Sit in my sweet spot and trust.
- Finish stitching, beading and creating the leather handbag I started making in London in 2008.
- Read more books than last year….
Go to L’etoile in Paddington. TICK! Thank you Allen for this one …. you are an angel.- Eat less sugar. I’ve fallen off the sugar-free wagon a little since Christmas and I need to get back on it. I feel so much better when I’m not consuming sugar.
- Spend a weekend in Melbourne.
- Go to Burning Man in late August.
- Spend a month in New York.
- Travel through South America from the bottom up ending my journey at the Rainbow Gathering in Guatemala in December.
- Write an e-book/ course.
- Write at least two guest posts per month. (So far so good, I’ve had one published this month with another scheduled coming up)
- Meet the most fascinating, inspirational people that I have ever encountered.
- Be a better friend. (Sometimes I am terrible at keeping in touch and showing how much I care …. I want to do so more.)
- Get clear on what is important in my life and welcome people who share the same values.
- Fall in love.
- Go gently. Don’t be so hard on myself.
- Practise the art of allowing.
- Life harmony is not the same as life balance. I don’t have to have all the balls in the air at the same time.
- Listen more slowly.
- Tell more stories.
- Write to my grandparents at least once a month. I know it means so much to them.
- Sell all the designer clothes that I never wear. And spend the money on something I really, really love!
- Commandeer an iPad.
- Go to Officeworks and stock up on notepads. My collection of scribbled on papers scattered across my room is starting to move from charming chaos to enigmatic mess.
- Manage my time a little more efficiently. (Plan without planning – if that’s at all possible! The trouble is, my nature rejects schedules and plans … I kind of have to trick myself with this one!)
- Break up with social media. “It’s not you – it’s me! Let’s just be friends and hang out sometimes, rather than spending every single minute together! (You’re suffocating me!)“
- Over the winter, watch all the films that I keep getting recommended and never see. I think this one needs a list. Any movie-buff-list-makers out there who want to help? Email me!
- Perfect the back-walker. I can go back. But I can’t seem to quite kick over yet. Soon.
- Get over my body image issues once and for all. Gulp. This one is scary. (Let’s practice a little radical self-love shall we!)
- Stretch myself. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. Try new things.
- Be more compassionate and understanding. We are all humans after all.
- Host a dinner party. Complete with fairy lights and candles and live music and chocolate gateau.
- Learn about wine.
- Organically, gracefully and easily develop my business so it flourishes and is successful on all levels.
- Allow lots of space for the unexpected.
- Slow down.
- Play with children, more than I have been.
- Kiss a man with a moustache. Just for the experience.
- Relax. Allow my body to fully relax.
- Let go. Of control. Of knowing the outcome. Of expectations. Everything. I’m quite good with this but imagine how amazing life would be if I completely let go of trying to control it. If just showed up, did my part, shared my sparkle and let what ever may happen, happen. Wow! Just the idea blows my mind.
- Go to Tetsuya’s in the city.
- Ride the rides at Luna Park with my sister and take loads of photos of our silliness.
- Make green smoothies. I know they’re good for me. I even like them. But I’m just not making them.
- Remember not to take life too seriously.
- Practise my Spanish.
- Write a loooong letter to my mama about everything. She doesn’t know me at all. Maybe she never will but I can try!
- Make peace with my ex. I really hope he speaks to me again one day and we can be friends. I guess breaking someones heart makes them not want to talk to you anymore.
- Enjoy each moment as it comes. Feel the width and the breadth of it. Taste it. Smell it. Be in it.
- Figure out how I can monetize my talents. Seek out someone practical who can help me. I need a second brain for this. Ammm so …. anyone?
- Buy socks.
- Write every single one of my friends a love letter and send it via post. With stamps and everything. Amazing!
- Print this insane listomania out and put it somewhere I can see it so I actually remember to do all these things.
- Figure out how to use all of my flying points with different airlines and hotels to the best of my advantage. I have no idea and it’s all so confusing. I need help from someone who is good with numbers and details. Both things that I detest. (I’m one of those people who still uses their fingers to count. Yes. I know.)
- Go for a long weekend away to Byron Bay.
- Convince my landlady to put me on a rolling lease. I really hate stiff contracts. They make me feel uneasy. It’s like clipping my wings.
- Go to a sex toy shop with my sister and check out the goods without acting like a demented teenager. Really. I shouldn’t be embarrassed about these things anymore.
- Create the MOST AMAZING COSTUME EVER for Secret Garden festival in March. With face paint, warrior-fairy style. And a leopard print kimono.
- Be still. Allow more stillness into my life.
- Spend my money more consciously. Don’t buy crap. Buy beautiful things that last a long time. And less of them. Spend my money on things I really value. (I can be a tad frivolous at times!)
- Don’t think too much.
- Don’t think about what other people might think. It really doesn’t matter.
- Have fun. All the time. (I do this anyway but there’s no harm in reminding myself.)
- Go on an exclamation mark detox!!!!! They seem to creep into everything I right far more than is appropriate.
- Proof read my writing a bit more before I publish. Euch! It’s that whole attention to detail thing! I hate it.
- Have at least one afternoon/evening totally to myself per week. I need time alone to recharge.
- Discover new intricacies about the people I call my friends. I love exploring the people in my life.
- Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Don’t be afraid to fail. Move through and past those fears. Do it and see what happens. Either way it’s a wonderful learning experience.
- Convince my employers to gift me with a new iPhone. Because I deserve it.
- Go through my inbox and file and tidy and organise the 1000’s of emails that are making life a little convoluted.
- Practise gratitude the moment my mind wanders into a realm of complaint. And any other time. It works so good and makes life amazing.
- Communicate my feelings and thoughts more clearly. Face to face. In spoken words.
- Cry if I feel like it. Things sometimes are worth crying over. Give myself the permission to feel my emotions and then get over it. I tend to skip straight to the get-over-it part. The feeling part is important too.
- Take the time to sit down and write more. Often I write while also doing 20 other things at the same time. Little inspirations come to my mind and I jot them down; my mornings often involve me bouncing between the bathroom and the notebook on my bed. Perhaps if I took the time to sit down with them I could take it a little deeper. The again if I wait to write when I have time, the thoughts may have already passed. It’s like trying to capture a cheeky pixie. Very slippery.
- Hold his hand. ‘Cause I like it. I’m obligation free. It’s just a gesture of affection.
- Don’t cut my hair. At all. Not even once this year. Just to experiment and see what happens.
- Make a dream catcher from dried vines, wool, shells and semiprecious stones and feathers I have collected over the past 10 years of my travels.
- Allow myself to move from super groomed to a little more wild again. I’m tired of the common “Sydney” look. I’m breaking free.
- Have a really beautiful dinner with my dearest friends for my birthday. Complete with sparklers and birthday cake and lots of wine.
- Learn how to dance with a man.
- Do something really super romantic and wonderful at least once a month.
- Fly a kite.
- Go sailing or on some kind of boat trip. Cause I love it.
- Have more real, deep and meaningful conversations. I hate small talk and mostly I just move away from it. Perhaps if I could engage people to communicate a little deeper I could stay in the conversations for longer.
- Be more accepting of others. I’m an idealist. A philosopher. A dreamer. I expect everyone else to be this way too. But I realise they’re not. And that’s ok.
- Have patience. With life. With outcomes. With myself. With others. Things often just need time.
- Host a Mad Hatters Tea Party. We can all be Alice. I’ll try to find some magic mushrooms.
- Define exactly what I want my life to look and feel like. Get clear on it. Write it out and go live life on my own terms. Use my imagination and then go beyond even that. High aspirations. No expectations.
- Tell all the people I admire, how and why I admire them. They inspire me and deserve to know so.
- Go on lots of picnics.
- Stop checking Google Analytics stats quite so much, my monthly excel spreadsheet is truly quite sufficient. Focus on what’s actually important instead. (Building an Empire of Revolutionary Love).
- Write down my dreams as soon as I awake. Something magical might come out of them.
- Learn how to make chocolate soufflé.
- Write a gig review. Just to try it out and see if I can do it. It seems daunting and intimidating but I go to so many festivals and music gigs, it’s certainly a valuable skill I could develop.
- Experiment. With everything.
- Go on a road trip without a destination in mind. Discover new and wonderful places.
- Hula hoop lots more and learn some really cool tricks I can show off at parties. (Perhaps buy a hula hoop so I can do this).
- Read every single Dr Seuss book ever written.
- Make at least one video blog aka vlog for viendamaria.com this year. Get help with the post-production so it looks AMAZING!
- Go to Confest at Easter and present some workshops ….. on topics not yet decided.
- Do a flash-mob-dance-off.
- Stay awake all night and watch the sunrise at the beach. And then skinny dip in the ocean.
- Minimise my collection of belongings. Do I really need all those books and things? Less is more I say.
- Burn my journals and notebooks from the past 10 years (after I’ve copied out all the juicy stuff).
- Blow bubbles in the park and play with glitter and take photos of these little moments of joy and amusement.
- Create a photo album of my life for my family.
- Sell all the 100’s of pieces of jewellery that I have collected to sell from my travels over the past few years.
- Wear more accessories. Aiming to look like a pirate crossed with a nymph.
- Expand my music collection. Open my ears to new and wonderful sounds. Try out something new.
- Go for walks along the beach in the winter, even when it’s cold.
- Trust in the process of life. It is truly very amazing and magical, even when my mind tries to conjure up ridiculous ideas of defeat.
Tell me. Do you share any of these? What dreams are you going to fulfil this year?
Image source.
by Vienda | 24 Jan 2012 | Travel + Freedom
home is not a place. it is a feeling.
to me, I feel most at home in the spaces between. the space between somewhere and elsewhere. I love the feeling in the train, in the bus on the motorbike, when you know you’re going somewhere but without expectations or knowledge of that place. it’s a sense of freedom. the sense of flinging yourself into the arms of the world with no idea of what might happen and pockets full of faith.
I haven’t travelled for 2 years now. quick breaks, holidays, yes. but that’s not travelling. that’s just leaving your current reality with the intention to return to the safety of what you know. travelling is letting go. completely. of everything you know + watching, waiting, becoming an observer. surrendering to the unknown and seeing where it takes you.
and my heart hurts because of it. this feeling washes over me in waves akin to having your umbilical cord cut. separated from that which nourishes you.
for some months it subsides as I converse with myself that right now I am making the choice to stay. because sometimes it’s good to stay. to grow roots. to feel grounded in a space. things grow when you stay. relationships flourish + form. and that just because the north wind blows doesn’t mean I must rise + throw myself into the tempest…
then it returns and breezes about my shoulders. sings sweetly into my ears. into my soul.
“let me carry you away with me”
like a long-lost lover it intoxicates me with whimsical dreams of undiscovered shores. exotic sights and sounds. the song of wanderlust is enchanting and casts a spell over me. an inner struggle passes through and I bide my time with promises for the future. promises which I know I will keep. because it’s in my blood. my heart will not stop drumming the gyspy beats until my feet once again are wayfaring.
ergo until the opportune moment arises I persevere. adventures in this concrete jungle are just as wonderful as those in lands unchartered. they simply come with a different set of rules. it’s more challenging to surrender control. to let go. but staying in one place gives you the richness and depth of life that travelling cannot. so, for now, I stay. be still my gyspy heart.
Image source 1 + 2.
by Vienda | 28 Oct 2011 | Psychology + Soul
Do you remember this post’s title as a lyric from Alanis Morrisette’s All I Really Want track from the album Jagged Little Pill released in the mid 90’s? That entire album soundtracked my teenage angst at 14 and 15. Embarrassing to admit now but also very true. You can hear it here if you crave a little journey down memory lane.
So, to give you a deeper look into my life as well as musical journey I want to share something with you. One of my best friends in the world forwarded the following video onto me in which I briefly feature at about 31.37 minutes. This is a glimpse into what was my entire life and world for about 5 years from the ages of 21 to 26. I travelled the world working, dancing and playing my way through myriads of psychedelic trance festivals. Often people ask me what I call home, and to be honest I think the only time I have really felt at home, like this is completely and totally where I belong is at these festivals. It’s where my heart and mind are set free. It’s where I find my people, my tribe.
This little film is about an hour long so I suggest you go get a drink, settle into a lovely comfortable chair and join me in watching this psychedelic peep into what was once an enormous part of my life. Smile and giggle at my friends and gasp with wonder that so many hippies manage to organise something quite so spectacular!
(Love it when they say “love is the message of salvation for mankind“. I’m always harping on about that!)
[vimeo]http://vimeo.com/30683956[/vimeo]
Thank you for sharing this journey with me! xox
Image source.
by Vienda | 17 Aug 2011 | Travel + Freedom
A week of the simple life – because island life is so eeeaaasssyyyyy – On Gilli (meaning small island) Trawangan, Lombok, Indonesia:
We’ve settled into a shady spot on the beach, watching the crystal clear water in shades of aquamarine, turquoise and moonlight blue gently lapping at the sand, the jingle from the bells of a horse drawn carriage passing by behind us every now and then ….. otherwise just the soft hum of island life surrounds us.
This is the sort of place where one could easily lose themselves, disappear for eternities and completely forget about time. Forget about the world that exists outside of island life and enjoy the pure pleasures of the simple things.
Walks along the beaches that dreams are made of, fresh young coconuts to drink and sweet pineapples so juicy it’s hard to contain the succulent waters in your mouth. Gentle swims in the ocean so clear and pristine you can see your own toes sparkling in the depths. Freshly caught seafood and produce at every twist and turn. It’s an easy existence. the sun is strong and the shade comforting.
It’s Ramadan in this Muslim part of Indonesia and the only partially built mosque has started back on its call to prayer – various voices taking their turns blasting over the beach in a soothing rhythmical manner. We giggle as one of the songs of prayers sounds like ooh la la ooh la la ooh la la ooh la la ooh la la ooh la la and sing along.
Life has taken on a considerably slower pace and my sister and I adjust immediately – we are island girls at heart anyway, we are made for this kind of life – we agree simultaneously.
We cycle around the island which takes about two hours including pushing our bikes through the sandy depths on some parts of the single path that goes round the island, and the pit stop by a little grass hut for a freshly cut up pineapple devoured in juicy mouthfuls as we gaze across the stunning ocean – shimmering, dancing before us.
Most late afternoons we wander down to the Sunset Bar and meet up with friends we’ve gathered on the island, chat about our day, about each other and watch as the sun gracefully takes a bow and makes its exist for the day. This is followed by a visit to the night food market where we hungrily choose some fresh seafood to be grilled before our eyes. It comes out on wicker basket plates lined with banana leaf and piled high with rice, vegetables and sauces to accompany the delicious ‘fruits of the sea’. The arrival of food is accompanied by moments of utter silence around the long tables stretched across the market place as we delight in our meals.
Bar Gilli has enormous, comfortable bean bags and free wifi when you purchase something from their menu so on occasion we relax there during the midday sun and sip on fresh watermelon juices as we update ourselves and each other on the goings on in the rest of the world with our iPhones. It’s an incredible sensation to be so detached physically and yet still bound emotionally through technology to those that you connect with in daily life.
At some point it’s my 30th birthday and we celebrate with cycling around the island like we own it, with flowers in our hair and in the evening with Pina Coladas, sashimi, lobster, garlic butter sauce and decadent chocolate souffle at the famed Ko Ko Mo restaurant owned by an Australian chef. This birthday is the main incentive for this little getaway to Indonesia – the day passes much the same as the others – languidly, leisurely, peacefully, happily. Everything that one could want in paradise.
Birthdays tend to carry an expectation to suddenly feel different – changed somehow – perhaps older, wiser, time worn? I feel none of those except in the days following I become aware of a sense of having arrived. Like I’ve finally made it.
Our final days are met with some trepidation, having fallen in love with the island, the local people, the way of life. We have spent afternoons daydreaming of spending our existence on this tropical isle with various business ventures, each more comical than the last. We have laughed and giggled for hours as we always do, digressing every minute thought that comes to our heads, sharing tears from sad stories and enjoying our peaceful existence. Ah! Island life! It’s so easy and it’s hard to say goodbye!
by Vienda | 10 Aug 2011 | Travel + Freedom
Those of you who have read the book or seen the film Chocolat starring Juliette Binoche and Johnny Depp, will know exactly what I mean when I speak about the north wind. This is a story about Vianne Rocher, a young woman whose mother comes from a lineage of nomadic women who were healers and mystics and used cacao as their potion. Vianne and her daughter Anouk are bound to travel to a new town or destination whenever the north wind blows, and thereby share the sacred magic of chocolate around.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JliG1yEtpPc[/youtube]
In the film this strong urge to travel from town to town is illustrated by the north wind whereas for me it as more of an enticing inner urge to just keep moving. I’m not really sure why I get it, I think it’s just a part of me and I know that from time to time this feeling grows very strong and sometimes I listen to it and other times I choose to stay.
Right now this feeling is very strong however I choose to stay because I feel this is what I need. I want travel to be spontaneous and impulsive not out of habit or acting compulsive. And just to be clear, going on holidays negotiated with workplaces is NOT travelling. That’s simply taking a break from one’s current experience of life and seeing something new!
So what do you do when the traveller’s curse to keep on moving becomes too strong but you know that right now is not the time to go? Here are my eleven favourite tricks to keep that pesky yet enlightening north wind at bay:
1. Run for the hills on a weekend. I for one, and I know many of you agree, live in the bubble of the city or town that we reside in and forget that there is a whole world out there that looks and feels differently, and simply taking a road trip somewhere new with abundant fresh air can give us a whole new perspective on life. Don’t have a friend to go with? Go on your own! Solo road trips have the potential for magic. Don’t have a car /motorbike / etc? (don’t worry neither do I) Take the train! This is all about putting yourself into a state of adventure and trying out new things.
2. Read a book set in a foreign or magical land. Reading is taking a journey in itself whilst remaining in the comfort of your own home. How convenient! No packing or unpacking to do and no wondering where you will sleep tonight!
3. Learn a new language. Preferably one you might actually use in the near future. There are some amazing apps available for smart phones these days as highlighted in this article featuring 80 Apps to Learn a New Language. Technology is making it easier and easier for us to gather information, educate ourselves and adopt new cultures, beliefs and habits without actually having to travel. Then take it a step further and have an evening themed entirely around the language you are learning and demand that guests at least speak in the accent of the language if they cannot throw in a few words themselves. For example, if you chose Italian, simply saying pasta in an Italian accent a few times will suffice to get everyone in the spirit!
4. Cook or make something you’ve never, ever made before. Be ambitious and create an entire menu from a foreign land. It doesn’t have to to be elaborate …. just new, different, mind-expanding. One of my favourite exotic meals to make is Moroccan Tagine, I usually make one with a base of tomato, eggs and spinach. Its super easy and really, really fun! You basically can throw anything you can think of together with lost of interesting spices and see what happens. The result is always delicious, nutritious and perfect to share with friends. If you eat it in the traditional style, make some authentic Moroccan bread or couscous and eat out of the tagine pot, in communal fashion! So fun and most importantly, yummy!
5. Meet new people. One of the greatest thrills of travelling is meeting new people, and when you travel, you are normally much more open to new people and new experiences. Somehow after a while of living in the one place, we become comfortable within the circles of friends we have created and forget to be open to allowing new people into those circles. Soooooooo make an effort! Say hello to someone you’ve never spoken to before, a friend of a friend, a stranger in the street, someone at a party… You’ll be surprised what interesting and amazing people you’ll meet, and who knows something might even blossom into a romance!
6. Start planning your next dream adventure into the vast of an exotic country you’ve never been to before. Nothing will get you excited and tripping over your little feet as making grandiose plans for a dream trip. Even if the aforementioned trip is a whole year away, there’s plenty to learn, research, daydream and find out about in the meantime. Unfortunately I myself cannot take this piece of advise as I very rarely if ever do much research on the place that I am heading. I prefer to, how do you say ……. wing it!
7. Fall in love. This in itself is clearly self explanatory! When you fall in love the whole world becomes a wonderful kaleidoscope of colours and sensations and travelling will be far away from your mind …. unless of course your new lover is planning an extended trip to a foreign land which may provide you with the flutters to do the same. Do however try in this moment to resist the impulse because nothing dampens a new love as someone who wants to chase them on their own adventures. At this point you have to have a clear vision of what you actually want in your own life. I digress…..we are coming off the topic a little here!
8. Take yourself on a tour of your own city, and explore all the places you’ve never been to before. Take photos to share with your friends and remember to write down all the cute cafes and cool bars you discover along the way. Spending time alone can be wonderfully fulfilling and gives you the chance to do exactly what YOU want, no compromising, no haggling!
9. Spend a day with children and see the world through their eyes. Children are just discovering the world that we live in so every single day they learn something new and amazing. This world is pretty damn spectacular no matter where you are, so slowing down and taking it all in from a naive and innocent point of view is exhilaratingly refreshing. Sometimes we forget to take in our surroundings appreciate just how beautiful and amazing the place we live in really is. This is why it can be so fun to show friends around your special haunts and share in their wonder as they experience your world through new eyes.
10. Take a course or do a workshop. Learning is not only fun, but one of the exciting parts of travelling is all the new sensations and knowledge you gain through the experience. Taking a course activates the same brain cells and can be very satisfying without the cost of flights and hotels and with all the comforts of familiarity. A weekend photography course can be excellent as you go outside to places you haven’t been before, meet new people and get to indulge in a creative pursuit. Also wine or cheese tasting in the local country side will certainly life your spirits and shake those twinkling travel bugs off for a while! Or learn to surf!
11. Go on holidays!!! (As I am at moment, enjoying Bali to the full!!!)
Image source: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11.
