The past 7 days have been big.
Big and unexpected and filled with the energy of a wind storm.
Big in the sense that there is some huge re-ordering and restructuring happening in many lives right now. Mine included. With the most recent new moon vibes there is a cool freshness in the air.
Right now is the perfect time to soften, tune in, and listen to what your heart and soul are asking for.
Now is the time to embody those new insights, and start doing what needs to be done.
Right now is the time to write a new story for your life. One that has been waiting to be written, to be crafted and created by you. Incidentally, that’s precisely what the theme of this month’s The Free-Spirited Collective is all about.
Be ready for everything to change beyond your wildest comprehension of what is possible.
But remember, insight without action is nothing. And action takes courage, a willingness to move with the winds of change and an understanding of how to balance both the driven (masculine) and receiving (feminine) aspects of yourself.
A week ago today, I packed up my life again and left Nelson after 6 months. Julien and I drove to Christchurch, and spent two nights in the bed of a stranger, whom Julien had serendipitously met at a cafe a few months earlier. A spirited, out-going, generous and passionate entrepreneur, with a fascinating life story that keeps you wide-eyed and entertained until even the stars go to bed.
Then we drove further south, and stopped at the first house that I had arranged for us to view, to move into. We moved into it right away. After years of honing my manifesting skills, I’m pretty good at getting what I ask for. Warm with plenty of sunlight, modern, clean and tidy, quiet, with parking, walking distance to yoga and the Farmer’s Market, great wi-fi, fully furnished.
I spent that afternoon catching up on the week’s emails. There was one intensely heart-felt tenor that ran through every email I opened and read that day: how to find the courage and inspired hustle to take action and do the things you say you want to do.
Folks were feeling stuck, fearful, self-sabotaging and giving their power away. I lovingly replied. And also shared my thoughts here.
At 7.30am the next day Julien received a phone call from his new boss, asking him to come to a meeting. When he returned home, something had changed in his face. There was a shadow, that hadn’t been there before. “Yesterday the federal government cut 80% of the funding for conservation to the region. The contract that we moved for, it’s gone.” He looked at me a little fallen.
That night I couldn’t sleep.
I kept thinking about how this change in plans is a chance to make a new choice, something that feels fun and exciting and uplifts our spirits. Instead of seeing this turn of events as an obstruction, I saw it as an opportunity. I started dreaming about palm fronds, and tropical waters, and swimming with sea creatures and working in developing communities.
As soon as Julien awoke, I pounced in him and unsuspectingly overwhelmed him with my ideas. “We could go to Thailand and live on the beach, and you could do your dive master and I could weave my magic, and it would be so wonderful! Or we could go to the Philippines and volunteer our time teaching English to street children and go surfing, or even work in conservation at a marine park!” My suggestions and enthusiasm were endless.
Julien is a practical man, with very logical responses like money, and time, and plans and such. I get it. Men need to cover their bases. Not everyone is as free-spirited, or has created a life where it’s as easy to up and go as me. So we are biding our time, and coming to a compromise. We will travel around New Zealand slowly, keeping an eye open for possible options along the way. And if nothing wonderful shows up by the end of the month, we will got to Asia.
My heart won’t still and is jumping with joy at the thought of a new adventure.
Now, it’s 9pm and I’m sitting in bed, with the electric blanket on and a row of 70% dark chocolate to my left. The temperature is 5°C degrees celsius outside. There’s one more thing that keeps circling back in my mind. It’s about feeling stuck when you are wanting to take action, and do the things you say you want to do.
There are two ways to approach this.
1. Let it go.
Take off the pressure and stop pushing, striving and forcing yourself to do something that feels too big and too scary. Often, when we let things go, we realise what we are missing out on, if we don’t do them. It takes away the fear and replaces it with raw hunger. Or, it’s really not meant to be.
2. Stop thinking about it.
Too many times, there is a thick mist of thoughts between where you stand, and what you have to do. Those thoughts are fears, future-tripping and self-sabotage that stop you in your tracks. But here’s the thing: those thoughts, they are not real, and you do not have to believe them.
Beyond those two things is something far more terrifying: remaining frozen in indolence. Because if you do nothing, nothing is exactly what you get. You have to take action to learn, to grow, to get it right, to heal, to understand and to create.
Life is messy. It’s not a perfect container where everything occurs in a pristine, linear form, and one things falls in faultlessly beside the other. At its truest and most real, life is chaotic, convoluted, complex, intricate, tangled, tortuous and confusing. It’s filled to the brim with uncertainty, fuck-ups and shamble.
And that is exactly what makes it so incredibly beautiful, exciting and worth waking up for every single day.
Your job is not to know exactly how everything is supposed to be. Your job is taking what you have in this exact moment, as chaotic and messy and crazy as it is, and sculpt it into a vision of your own design.
The creations you make from what you envision can only appear by putting one foot in front of the other and actively choosing to uphold your purpose: to listen to what your heart and soul are asking for. And to embody those new insights, and start doing what needs to be done.
The words that I encourage you to hold close these next few days, as you move forward are courage, change, taking action and balance. They will guide you, as you move through these powerful times.
Photography by Champagne Victoria
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