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I want it all. I can’t help it, it’s just the type of girl I am.

The cute little family AND the blow-my-mind fun and intellectual career. ♥ The sweet relationship AND the freedom of not having to worry about someone else. ♥ To travel all around at any time AND to have a home, a place to call my own. ♥ To have adventures in strange and wonderful places AND to nest, to stay at home and bake elaborate cakes or prepare dinners for my friends and loved ones. ♥ A community, that sense of belonging, the embrace of the people you have known through many moments AND the inspiration of the new faces I meet. ♥ To be entirely independent AND also be in a supportive relationship, so entirely trusting in the belief that someone will be there for me when I need them, and visa-vi. ♥ I want to stand beside a man, not behind him, not before him, but in perfect balance. ♥ And yet sometimes I am afraid of what might happen if I am tied to anything or anyone.

Apparently one key point in this is something that many women feel, but might not allow themselves to say so out loud: the romantically named Cinderella Complex. This concept arrived in the late 80’s through the author Collette Dowling in which she explores the modern female struggle between independence and an unconscious desire to be taken care of, the idea of being saved by a knight in shining armour. Dowling argued that women suffer in silent confusion whilst battling within themselves “when our intellects tell us to stand on our own two feet …….. at the same time that we yearn to be fetterless and free, we also yearn to be taken care of”.

Another perspective to consider is the current society we live in which is so widely abundant with choices. We all have so many decisions and choices to make, we have immense freedom in deciding how we want to live our lives, but sometimes having too many choices can be very difficult. I feel I have been immensely blessed in my life and everyday I am learning how to make better and better decisions. It becomes easier to know which way to focus and make choices that allow me the freedom as well as the intimacy of life.

Finally, I believe there is a right time for everything. Just because I DO want all those things stated above, I do not necessarily expect them all to come at the same time. Oprah Winfrey is famed for having said:

You can have it all, just not all at once.

There’s something wonderful to be said about balance in life. There is a time for everything and being open to new experiences which bring you fulfilment in unexpected ways is such a wondrous way to live. From my experience the key is remaining centred within you wherever you are in life, be flexible and move with the flow of life. And in the end, I can have it all.


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