Today I wanted to write about lots of things and I couldn’t make up my mind and then I would start something and then would change my mind again. It’s not so much that I am indecisive, but rather that I acknowledge that we all make decisions based on the information we have collected up to that point and sometimes as we garner more knowledge this changes our decision. Or it’s a very windy day.
I tend to change my mind a lot. It’s part of going with the flow of life.
When the wind blows in one direction it doesn’t decide it must blow in that direction for the next 4 hours 37 minutes and 22 seconds. No. It blows and then it changes. Whenever. Whatever.
So I’ve decided to go with the flow today and post about several different concepts running through my mind. One is about changing my mind, the other is about happiness:
I recently saw a quick news clip that the Dalai Lama is coming to Australia and in that short segment he says something like “If you are happy, you are happy! And if you are not happy, it doesn’t matter!”
This made me think about happiness and my own personal pursuit of happiness in my life. What makes me truly happy? Like, actually really happy? Not the happiness from that stunning handbag I bought on the weekend, but the kind of happiness that builds from within and burst out full of joy and glory. Am I happy now?

And I’ve realised something. There are two types of happiness.

1. One is superficial. There’s the happiness that comes from doing, achieving, receiving and so on. It’s the happiness that comes from being with friends, or doing a job well or buying something special. This type of happiness is an active happiness that stems from action. From doing things.
2. One is deep seated. That’s the happiness that just exists no matter what. And maybe it’s not quite happiness but more of a constant simmering contentment. The simple joy of life. The happiness that exists within all of us no matter what end of the emotional roller-coaster ride we are currently on. This is a passive happiness. It exists and we don’t have to do anything to experience it.
3. Both are equally valuable and necessary.

So the one type of happiness I need to chase down and actively participate to experience and the other one is always here. The first one is fleeting and based on external outcomes but the second one, as I just said, is always here. So what it true happiness? And again, am I happy now?
This question quite honestly makes me a little uncomfortable today. Squirmish. (Quick, what’s the right answer? Is this a test?) I want to say, YES! Of course! I’m happy all the time! Because I think I should be. And deep down I am blissfully content. But on some days (like today, when it is wet and cold and the world appears so very grey and dull and less fun than usual) all of the life stuff gets to me and I feel far away from that inner happiness. And I feel guilty for not being as happy as I could or should be. So, there it is. My belief, my expectation that I should always be happy. Because that’s what society is telling us. Be happy or go home. And the way society commonly measures happiness is through external results. The superficial type of happiness is easy to explain and to measure. The deep seated happiness, the I’m happy for no reason happiness is much harder to understand.
So this is where I change my mind. I reframe. It’s okay not to be happy all the time. To not have some external measurement of my current state of happiness. In fact I believe it’s necessary for growth. We would never change, try new things, do things differently if we were perfectly happy all the time.
Also, being not-quite-happy gives colour to my life. How gold is gold next to other gold? How happy is happy next to other happy? Happy looks much happier next to sad, as gold looks much more golden next to silver. Diversity is the spice of life and I love it!
So, am I happy? Yes. My inner being, who I am, is happy. My external experience of life is a bit glum today, and that’s okay. In fact, I kind of like it!
Image sources: 1, 2.