Let’s begin with the fact that each and every one of us is 100% responsible for our life experience. This is not about blaming others for our circumstances. In fact, that’s shrugging our responsibility off our shoulders. Nonetheless; Your parents and grandparents are (definitely) stopping you from having the life that you want (and deserve).
This is how it works.
Most of us (if not all), are born into specific family lines, which are riddled with unconscious, abusive or addictive behaviour, that has the capacity to destroy individuals and harm those around them. My personal family lineage carries within it alcoholism, poverty, shame, abuse, anxiety, fear and depression. I have shared some of those experiences here and here.
Some people say that these elements are hereditary, throw their arms up in the air, and choose to be victims of their lineage and past.
And then this is what happens.
We repeat the same patterns from the past, wrapped up carefully, and repackaged in ways that appear different. We choose relationships that are abusive and controlling, because that’s what we know, what we are comfortable with, and are used to. We turn to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain, because hey, it’s socially acceptable and that makes it ok, right? We unconsciously choose to be victims of fate, and blame the name-less Gods in the heavens for our misfortunes. We live with depression and believe that there’s nothing we can do to change it. We don’t ask our worth, don’t value ourselves and are consistently underpaid, because “the world is a cold and careless place”, not because we have a poverty pattern running through us.
Essentially, we choose to be powerless and not take responsibility for our lives.
Because; Oh no. It couldn’t be us.
But that assumption wrong. It is us.
There is another choice.
In fact, I believe that our generation has been given an invaluable gift: the courage, tools, and ability to say no. This negative, undermining, self-destruction and sabotage ends here. No more. No more alcoholism, poverty, shame, abuse, anxiety, fear and depression.
We have the power to close that cycle, and end it in our lifetimes, not just for ourselves but for the generations in front of us. Not only can we end and heal those negative cycles. We can heal the past and the wounds of our parents and grandparents by choosing to do so. As far as that timeline stretches in either direction.
We have the power. And we owe it. To ourselves. To our future. And to our past.
How?
It’s simple and complex.
The simple answer is: by being aware and conscious. When we bring our fullest self-awareness into every moment, be start to notice when we do and say things that are out of alignment with our true nature. It feels edgy, we respond too quickly, choose re-actions out of habit rather than presence, and we repeat the patterns that harm us. With that awareness, we empower ourselves with seeing what these genetic patterns actually are.
The complex answer is: changing those patterns can be hard. Often they are so deeply ingrained into our DNA from generations and generations of repetition, that once we become aware of them, removing them is the only answer, just as one would want to remove a cancerous cell from an otherwise healthy body. It takes commitment, a willingness to get uncomfortable, the inner strength to face those patterns head on, and a determination to see it through, despite how emotionally or physically painful the experience may be.
The result is true freedom. Freedom from the damaging constraints of an unhealthy lineage. And freedom to create a life that is truly your own. Freedom to be you. And exhalation from the weight of generations past.
We have the choice and power to change ourselves, our physical, emotional and spiritual bodies, and the future. Which is a beautiful, beautiful inspiring thing.
I myself have been working through lineage patterns, for the past couple of years now. It was the next step, after I had cleared all the negative patterns from my own, short yet potent life so far. It’s a challenging, yet incredibly worthwhile and fulfilling process. And it gift to me the ability to create anything that I can imagine in my life, as I have shared here.
And what is truly exciting, is being able to help my clients who are going through that process in their own lives, as they wade through the muddy waters of lineage history, and choose to transform into crystal clarity.
Do you feel called to clear your past, discover your freedom and create and brilliant new path for the future. I have just opened up 2 new spots for my 3 month coaching program. Click here, to book a free 15 minute ‘get to know each other’ session, and discover more.
Photo credit: JBird.
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I’ve been thinking about this so much (its funny how your posts so often align with what I’m experiencing/realising). Last week I stayed with my boyfriends family and it made me realise that I grew up in a dysfunctional family with an emotional absent and severely depressed father, only to call in a partner who had a dysfunctional family and was emotionally absent and severely depressed a lot of the time. I’ve had this sense for the last several months that if I heal these family related dysfunctions it will allow me to finally make proper friends for the first time in my adult life. I’m not sure how but my intuition just keeps whispering that all my relationship experiences/problems are intertwined and healing the root will heal my current experiences. All your posts on your own family experiences have been so eye opening and healing for me, thank you x