Vienda Maria

about

work

Author: vienda

  • What happens when you outgrow a relationship

    What happens when your outgrow a relationship
     
    I laced up my black trainers while simultaneously texting a WhatsApp message. “I’m running a tiny bit late… time just ran away with me! If I leave now it’ll take me about an hour to get to you. Does that still work for you?” Rosie responded, “Okay why don’t I meet you halfway at Dalston, then we can walk down the canal to Victoria Park back towards mine.”
     
    Rosie is a journalist, and one of the most thoughtful, intelligent and considered women I know. And she’s a prolific, well-balanced writer. Her monthly emails are amongst the very small handful that I am subscribed to and actually read. A few years ago she interviewed me for an article titled ‘Life coaches on Instagram break the first rule of therapy — that’s why it works’.
     
    We remained friends and, whenever I’m in London, make an effort to catch up.
     
    “Can I ask about what’s going on in your love life?” she asked, eventually, inevitably. We spoke about the brief 3-month relationship I had been in recently, and how it didn’t quite support my natural independence and freedom-focused values. Somehow we moved on to the relationship before that; the one where we bought a house together and made life-plans. The one where I learned that love is not enough.
     
    “You were so brave to leave,” she said. “Not really,” I responded “It was more like choosing between life and death. I was like a plant wilting, slowly dying. I had to choose life.”
     
    For someone (me) who has dedicated their life to growth and expansion, in ways that are unfamiliar to others, I explained that I felt suffocated and like I was forced to contract in both recent relationships. Both of them gave me what I needed at that moment, they taught me lessons and shone a light on things that I needed to see, in the particular context that they were shown to me. The recent one distinctly revealed to me the areas in my life where I was playing small, believing that I needed the support of a partner to make certain big life decisions, and holding back in my creativity and my work.
     
    The way I see it, I explained, is that each person has a particular sized container within which they feel safe and comfortable in, to be themselves with another. That container is determined by their upbringing, their conditioning, and their personal life experiences and life choices. Women require a man who can hold a container small enough for a woman to feel secure and big enough to give her space to explore, grow and experience herself in.
    if you want someone to fall in love with you...
    John Wineland articulates this beautifully when he says that it’s a deep responsibility, to hold a woman. He gives voice to 3 key factors to be able to do so:

    1. Breathe deeper than she does.
    2. Get stiller (develop your inner stillness) than she does.
    3. Get wider than she is, so she can feel the infinite.

     
    My ‘container’ has exceptional breadth and depth. I’ve spent the past 15 years dedicated to exploring the limitlessness of myself and how I can create a life that reflects the vastness of our Universe. Some would say that I have no limits, but that’s no true. I know where the boundaries lie: in the areas that I am still peeling away the layers of myself.
     
    It will take someone truly exceptional to hold that kind of space for me. It’s something that I am willing to be patient for.
     
    Outgrowing a relationship is a sign that your container is expanding. Neither partner is wrong. Rather each partner is working within the confines of what they consider safe, and how much they value their own limitlessness and expansion. Sometimes we grow together. And sometimes we grow apart.
     

  • 7 simple shifts to have more money (that anyone can do).

    A monochrome image of a person stretching with their arms raised, wearing a bra and shorts, against the backdrop of a window with visible shelves.


    Recently, after returning from a whirlwind trip to the UK, I thought a lot about how wildly different everyone’s relationship with money is and how broadly the topic of money is viewed. The UK, one of the wealthiest countries in the world, is a great example of how the most affluent and the poorest people in one country live side by side.

    After I came back, I reflected on what kind of life I want to live and what that means to me in terms of financial wealth and affluence. I’ve already told you the money story that kept me in poverty for 10 years and shared with you all my numbers and how I’ve transformed my personal relationship with money in my 13-part video course Affluent. But I’ve not really revealed how much money I think I need or want to have now.

    I like to live something that I call a “high/low life experience”.

    High = luxuriant, opulent, rich, expensive and expansive experiences — those that cost a lot of money. Low =  cost-free, natural, simple, modest and inexpensive experiences — those that aren’t about money but about appreciating what exists outside the consumer-driven culture I live in. I like to salt-and-pepper these experiences throughout my days, weeks and life. I also prefer to choose high-quality, expensive and long-lasting things occasionally over cheap, inexpensive things with questionable ethics in their production. Which is how I put together my capsule wardrobe.

    For me, it’s less about money and more about creating contrast and variety. Do I value an opulent hotel overlooking a cityscape over a night spent in an economic bungalow underneath the stars? No. They are both beautiful, enriching experiences that offer me a sense of connection with different parts of myself and the world. Do I prefer name brands over high-street brands? No. I want to feel beautiful and good in what I use and wear and make purchases based on material, cut and quality.

    As someone who highly values choices and freedom, having more than enough money to offer me the freedom of choice is vital to me. I’ve come to the conclusion that my next benchmark aim is to make a profit of £100,000 GBP (because that’s the currency of my bank accounts) within the next financial year.

    One of the lessons I teach in Affluent is stating your desired level of financial wealth. Once it’s out and in the world to see, it becomes real so much more quickly. I’ve seen this to be true time and time again.

    One of the other things I teach is that it’s not about money, but rather your relationship with money that impacts how much you have in your bank account. To get started towards my aim, here are 7 simple shifts I’ve integrated into my life to have more money (that anyone can do).

    — Pay attention to the habitual programming you have around money, deservability and self-worth. Something that really helps is to ask yourself and even journal around sticky points: “Is this my truth or my programming?” As soon as you shine the light of awareness on it, you have room to make a new decision and change. If that wasn’t your truth but programming, how would you act? Do that.

    — Be prepared to dissolve the belief that to be worthy of good things, and financial ease and abundance in your life, you have to pay with feeling burned out. Acting from fight-or-flight adrenaline mode isn’t serving you (or your work or your worth or anything else). Instead, it’s time to start trusting yourself, life and your ability to attract everything you need and be supported in who you are.

    — Start a Monthly Money Tracking practice where you have a little notebook (one that you really like :) and write the month at the top, and track every single penny, gift, payment and piece of abundance that comes your way. This practice shifts your focus from what you lack and don’t have enough of, to what you have and what you are receiving: from desperation to abundance. It takes a few months but it will shift everything for you.

    — Make friends with your money. Appreciate what you have, look at your accounts daily with equanimity, and pay attention to the emotional responses you have to spending money, owing money, receiving money and so on. Money is an inanimate object and yet we give it SO MUCH POWER through our emotional responses to it. Money is energy and it responds to feelings of high self-worth. The better your relationship with money, the more you like it and embrace it, instead of fear it and blame it for the troubles in your life, the more you attract it.

    — Money loves movement. It loves being responded to and it loves speed. Every time you avoid money (by not saying “yes” to opportunities that offer you money) it will avoid you too. Start to respond to money with speed, make making money a priority and look at the beliefs that pop up when you think about it this way. Do you feel resistance to admitting that you want money and would like more of it? Don’ feel shame for wanting money. It’s the same as wanting anything: food, water, sunshine, love.

    — Open a savings account that you commit to putting 10% of your earning into for the rest of this year. You need to prove to yourself and money that you can take care of it, that is safe with you, and that you are a responsible custodian. Pay yourself first, before all the bills. I know it may feel scary because you think “but I need that money to pay for my necessities!” but if you want your money circumstances to change, YOU have to change, first.
     
    — Start a rolling manifestation list where you put down the things that you want in your life. Salt and pepper it with big and little things, and release the expectation around how it will show up. Whenever your self-worth matches the thing on your list, it will show up for you, so your job is really just to raise your self-worth by doing things that feel good and stretching yourself by saying “yes” to more. This is meant to be fun and playful as you get to exercise your imagination and stretch your ability to want and ask for (instead of playing small).

    Want to join me in meeting a really BIG financial goal? Come, enrol in Affluent.

  • The money story that kept me in poverty for 10 years

    A black and white photograph of a woman seen from behind, with her hands in her hair, creating a soft and artistic silhouette.


    All the way until my early 30’s I believed the lie that money somehow made people evil, that it was toooooo haaard to deal with and that I just didn’t really understand the whole financial system. I spiritually bypassed it, taking the “higher” route, aka self-sabotaging by ignoring it, hoping that someone would come and rescue me (ahem, knight in shining armour, where are you?) and “trusting the universe” that it would sort me out. Which it always did (thanks universe) BUT I was limited by how MUCH I could receive because I refused to look at my own money narrative and clear the blocks.

    I had been handed a script as a little girl that told me that, as a woman, I would never have to learn to manage or handle money. I had a very traditional upbringing with my elderly grandmothers playing a strong role who informed me that if I was nice and pretty and good at housework and baking (I’m really good at baking, guys, just FYI :) that I would attract a nice, hard-working man and he would be in charge of all the money.

    Nobody in my family spoke about money. It was a taboo subject and considered an absolutely improper topic to ever mention. I was taught that one must never ask how much something cost, how much someone earned or how they managed their money. I never questioned this growing up because often avoiding punishment was more important for my survival than allowing my natural curiosity to ask all the questions I wanted to.

    I lived in a cycle of being able to make money easily (I’m naturally magnetic and good at manifesting) but not being able to hold on to it for long. I had money, and then I was broke. Over and over and over again. It was exhausting and the times that I was broke did a number on my self-esteem and nervous system. It was extremely stressful and made me anxious and reactive.

    But then, when I turned 31, life and the universe (Ha! Thanks again universe, you are the smartest!) decided it was time and that I was ready to decondition my old belief systems and rewrite my new narrative. One that actually aligned with my soul, the abundance of our cosmos and the modern world that we live in.

    Through some (really tough) lessons I learned that money isn’t so hard at all, it’s actually really easy. That there’s actually so so so much of it — more than we can even wrap our minds around. Being and feeling affluent is a privilege available to anyone who is willing to truly look at themselves. And that having (more than enough) money allows us, women, to become powerful changemakers in the world where we can transform the direction our world is moving in through consciously and with nurturing loving awareness investing out money in all the right ways and places.

    Money equals both security and freedom, paradoxical ends of the spectrum that we need to feel in order to live out the fullest expression of ourselves. Money acts as a mirror to how we show up for ourselves, nurture ourselves and value ourselves. When we feel full grace and ease overflows. When we feel empty and lacking, we are always looking to someone else’s cup and creating conflict and drama with ourselves and our relationship with life.

    Over the past 5 years, I have moved from living in a cycle of never having enough money and often being broke to increasing my net worth and income every single year. Through a combination of practical practices, manifesting tools and psychological mindset shifts that helped me to completely transform my relationship with money I learned how to create true affluence.

    Behold: AFFLUENT, where I teach you everything I know to create an abundant, affluent and prosperous life, against all odds, so you can do it too. AFFLUENT is the result of 10 years of lessons learned and 5 years (and counting) of amassing affluence that provides me with a lifestyle that is everything I have ever hoped and dreamed of. Welcome.

  • My career story — how I got to where I am

    My career story — how I got to where I am
     

    “We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backwards, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.” 

    ― Anais Nin

     
    My career story and how I got to where I am now, is probably the most requested question that lands in my inbox every week. Like every story in my colourful life, it is by no means linear — it’s less about what I did and more about who I became.
     
    The short version (what I did) goes like this: I spent 4 years at university and left with a degree in psychology. I studied Level 1 and 2 Reiki and completed formal and informal studies in the areas of emotional engineering, counselling, business, meditation, positive psychology, epigenetics and neurolinguistic programming as well as developed an analytical practice observing humans in their natural habitat. I delved into personal development out of curious compulsion and for the sake of my own growth and tested (and continue to test) everything I teach, on myself first. I became a blogger and that led to the business that I have now. I continue to study with a focus on spirituality, manifestation, astrology, marketing, photography and deepening my understanding of human behaviour.
     
     

    THE SEED

    It was 2007. I was wandering through the gothic quarter of Barcelona where I lived in a boat-shed-turned-studio-apartment with my best friend, and a string of DJ’s that moved in and out, based on where they were playing. On that one day, I turned to her and said “I wish I could create my own job! One where I could get paid to just be me.”  It was the comment that planted the seed.
     
    I was getting to the end of my festival career, tired of the drugs, the sleepless weeks, and the shady characters that bespeckled my otherwise rainbow-filled eccentric life. I’d spent the past 4 years contracted as an artist coordinator for underground music festivals all over the world. Something that I unintentionally fell into right after I finished my psychology degree by being charming, fun and getting to know all the festival producers.
     
    It was the end of the year, the weather was getting cooler and the next job was at a New Year’s Festival in Portugal, still some weeks away. I knew things had to change but I had no idea what to do or where to even begin. I had outgrown the festival life. It had served me well. I had travelled and seen more of the world than anyone else I knew, stories of which I shared in monthly group emails to my ever-growing list of international friends.
     
    Right after Portugal, I moved to London for the second time in my life, became an event coordinator for a prestigious dance company and started seeing a kind man from Manchester. A year later I was done with city life, still no closer to an answer. My self-doubt of what I was capable of and my confusion on how to even start infiltrated any ideas I came up with. I booked a one-way flight to India, hoping that I would discover the missing pieces of myself there. My boyfriend begged me to get Facebook so we could stay in touch, something I forcibly resisted because I was obstinately against the internet at the time. I eventually gave in and created a profile to keep him happy, right before boarding my plane.
     
     

    THE BEGINNING

    I spent 5 months travelling those magical lands, turning to write down every little insight and observation. Writing had always been my solace. One day, a sweet Swiss man who had joined me on my travels for a few days, emailed me back after one of my lengthy group emails and told me that he loved my writing and that I should start a blog. Too attached to the idea that the internet is not “natural” I resisted and dismissed his suggestion.
     
    What I did work out on those travels were two things: 1. I, in my essence, am creative. And to be truly fulfilled and happy, I need a creative project at all times. 2. I really suck at being an employee. I had to create my own thing. I started exploring what was in front of me. I have always loved self-expression through fashion and living in London amplified that. I also wanted to do good in the world, and ethical fashion brands were amazing but the styles mostly drab. Plus, I loved drawing and designing. And I was in India — the land of textiles and inexpensive tailors. My conclusion: start an ethical fashion brand.
     
    I continued travelling, letting this idea infuse within me: back to Europe for a final summer of festivals, then a contract to work in Abu Dhabi for a film festival, then Australia to visit my mum. Another year had passed before I took steps towards this idea.
     
     

    THE FAILURE

    In 2009 I took a government-funded business course to give me a foundation to this dream of mine alongside a pattern cutting and design intensive. I was terrified and deeply limited by my belief that, as a sensitive creative woman, I was not going to be any good at business.
     
    I was right. I didn’t do any of the inner work to look at my limiting beliefs and how they were impacting my life, so my aptly named brand Etica&Ella failed. After developing the branding, the first season of designs and spending 3 months in India forming relationships with ethical production companies, and sinking $20,000 of my savings into the concept, I realised I had no idea how to market my brand and launch it out into the world, and I was already completely over having to cart around so much fabric. And I quit.
     
    I was wiser now. I knew my strengths and limitations better, and while I smarted from the failure of my first attempt my desire to be self-employed only became stronger. It wasn’t even a dream or desire anymore. It was the only way.
     
    In 2010, with the intention to learn how to market and run a business, I was hired as a business manager for an author and public speaker whose expertise was in marketing, with the intention that I would learn everything I could to apply to my own thing. I embarked on the steep learning-curve of coding and WordPress, started blogging and developing an online voice, and did BSchool while cocooned in the safety of that role for 2.5 years.
     
     

    THE NEW VISION

    I distinctly recall shaking with fear and apprehension the first time I shared a blog post on my Facebook wall. I finally pushed the ‘post’ button with the force of my second hand on my finger and waited with bated breath for something to happen. For someone to judge me. To tell me I was being ridiculous. And then… nothing happened. Nothing at all. Some hours later a couple of friends left some sweet words of encouragement. And that was it. I learned that I had to keep going. Keep writing. Keep sharing. Keep honing my skills.
     
    While I didn’t learn as many of the marketing skills as I had hoped, running someone else’s business gave me the confidence I previously lacked, that I could run my own. Consistently blogging and sharing, as uncomfortable as it was at first, grew my self-worth and as a result, my belief in myself. It was the devoted consistency that I showed up with, that allowed the momentum to build and grow.
     
    I still didn’t really know what kind of business I wanted. I was willing to surrender my ego at this point and live my work life the way I lived the rest of my life: with the spiritual philosophies of surrender, trust and being guided. The key lesson in this initial stages was to stop looking for validation to start doing what I felt inspired to do. To just start creating. To do it for me, first.
     
    One day, I received an email from a reader, telling me her harrowing story about the big transition in her life that she was facing and how much my words and writing helped her. She closed the email asking if I was willing to get on a Skype call with her and guide her through some issues. She offered to compensate me. I jumped at the chance and told her that no payment was necessary. That I’d gladly support her in this way. At the end of the call, I realised something: this call was just like the counselling practicals I did after I finished studying psychology at uni. with a more intimate flavour.
     
    A little light went on in my mind. Perhaps this is what I could do for my work! This tiny incident was the turning point for my entire career and I decided to pursue mentoring as the signature service of my business.
     
    By mid-2012 my itchy gypsy feet called me back on the road. My tattoo-artist boyfriend agreed to join me and we booked flights to a festival in Portugal in August, and then travelled through Europe together before settling in Amsterdam, so he could work. I took on creative writing and social media marketing contracts to support myself and practice working online while travelling. I knew I needed to keep building my online presence by consistently sharing quality, free, helpful, entertaining content before I could start earning money from it. That first year, I devotedly kept showing up for my business, without receiving anything in return. I spent the second half of 2012 in Europe and then flew to Mexico for the Mayan end-of-the-world ceremony. I continued: Guatemala, Belize, Honduras, Nicaragua, a month in Costa Rica to stop and work at Envision Festival, Panama… followed by  San Francisco and 3 months in Venice Beach, LA.
     
     

    THE (REAL) BEGINNING

    By the time I hit Venice in Summer 2013 I knew something had to give. I had to start making money from my own business. I was absolutely terrified to step out from behind the shadows of supporting other people. It was so much easier relying on others to provide me with income, instead of being responsible for the money coming into my life myself. I knew my mindset and my relationship with money had to shift and that I needed to take a leap of faith and back myself fully even though I was scared.
     
    I’ll never forget the week that I wrapped up and ended all of my contracts. I cried a lot. The fear was almost unbearable. I didn’t have a safehold or savings to fall back on. I was running on hope, my manifestation practices and a whole lot of faith. Inspired by the pain of fear, I rebranded myself as a gypset life coach and developed my first 1:1 offering. I finally put myself out on the line and visible for the world to see. The vulnerability hangover I felt was debilitating. To my disbelief and soul-shaking relief, I had 5 clients sign up to work with me right away. It felt like a fucking miracle. I was finally doing it! My first paying clients, the first time I was really in business, the beginning of it all: August 2013.
     
    All that networking on social media and in real life, the consistent content creation, and the relationships I’d built with people had started to pay off. Showing up, creating and sharing consistently is the only way I know to build and grow a business, something I teach and share in depth in my collaborative course The Heartful Biz. It takes time and dedication and is an investment that grows if you are patient and continue to feed it.
     
     

    THE MONEY + LESSONS

    That first year of business was not easy, I won’t lie. Learning to handle the ebb and flow of income (sometimes it’s scarce, sometimes there’s more), learning to keep a steady stream of promotion and marketing material progressing, wearing every hat from strategy to admin to bookkeeping, and staying engaged in a professional manner was a steep learning curve. Financially, I struggled the first year, clearing just over $18,000. The second year was much easier  — it took 2 years before I finally felt supported by my work. I learned a lot about money, my relationship to it, and how to make it.
     
    The past 3 years have since been a development of maturation as my business grows. I developed courses on topics that were frequently repeated in my private client sessions to make those resources more available to everyone. I developed PR and marketing strategies that unfold with time as our online world changes with a key focus of showing up and sharing from a heartfelt place of authenticity, integrity and vulnerability with my key message essentially being “hey, we are all human trying to navigate this strange, beautiful, messy landscape that is life, each in our own unique way, together”.
     
     

    WHAT’S NEXT

    This August I celebrated 5 years in business. Being self-employed isn’t for everyone. It’s tireless dedication, boundaries being tested, risks and endless learning. But I love it. It’s definitely for me. And when I am asked what I wished I had known before starting I would say these three things:

    1. Start sooner and don’t let fear of not knowing enough hold you back.
    2. Stop looking for validation to start doing what you feel inspired to do. Just start. Do it for you, first.
    3. Start where you are at and give yourself permission to evolve and grow instead of hiding behind the need to have it all figured out or “be something”.

     
     

    YOUR QUESTIONS, ANSWERED

    You recently asked a multitude of other great questions so I thought I’d share the answers here.
     
    Do you have an assistant or do you do everything yourself?
    I have a video editor and I occasionally hire a graphic designer or accountant to help me with specific business assignments, and I usually have an intern that helps me with general administration tasks but I predominantly do everything myself. I enjoy having full creative control over my work and working in my own flow without having to explain my motives or having to manage other people. This may change in the future as I have considered hiring a full-time assistant to come on board but I’m not quite in that space yet.
     
    What are the next steps in your business?
    It’s starting to shift from a service to a product-based business. I’m slowly restricting my availability for private client sessions with my focus narrowing on short, affordable and potent courses that are more accessible to my audience. I love the creative process of teaching in this way and can see that it’s the future for personal development education. Which means that if you want to work with me in person, now is a really good time to get in touch via email: studio@viendamaria.com. I’m also running my popular signature course Manifest More for the very last time this November before retiring it as I have big plans for something completely new and exciting for next year, so if you want to learn about how I create and attract everything in my life, this is a really great course to get on board on before it disappears.
     
    How did you manage the uncertainty of life/business?
    I have really powerful practices around trust and manifestation (that I teach in Manifest More). I trust myself, I trust my intuition, I trust the Universe and where it is guiding me, and have tools that bring me back into trust and help me let go of the need to control things (which is fear expressing itself) when I find myself in doubt.
     
    How do you make business decisions?
    I 100% use my intuition for every single decision I make ever. I teach the simple process that I use in my course IntuiMethod. My intuition is the smartest, most strategic and surprisingly accurate advisor I have.
     

  • My list of best indie movies for bed days — 2018.

    My list of best indie movies for bed days — 2018.

    It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m (still) in bed and desperately trying to find a witty, interesting, intelligent film to watch.

    I am here because my period started yesterday afternoon and I have a personal pact to this life-changing act of self-care: spending the first two days that I am bleeding in bed, as much as I can. When I do this, the rest of my cycle is such a joy. Resting enough now means that in a week or two I’ll have so much more happiness and energy, than if I pushed on through.

    I’m pretty sure I’ve exhausted my Netflix account of any watchable indie films. I feel like every time I ask for recommendations I get the same old: Outlander (ugh, gross, weird fake romance novel series — I mean, what sensible woman actually wants to sleep with, an albeit very handsome — virgin! That’s just… ridiculous), Game Of Thrones (I preferred the books) and oh, I can’t even remember what else right now (period brain — it’s a thing).

    So… I thought, why not do you a service instead, and share my list of best indie films I have watched in the past year, along with their trailers so you can check if you might like them, right here. Enjoy!

     

    Lady Bird
    If you’ve ever been a mother or a daughter, then this movie about a girl in her last year of high school will speak to you.

     

    The Florida Project
    Six-year-old Moonee (Brooklynn Prince) lives in a motel on the outskirts of Disney World with Hailey (Bria Vinaite), her young, struggling single mother. Summer vacation’s just begun, and for Moonee, life stretches on like one long, wild adventure. Sean Baker’s film is an unforgettable portrait of childhood and America, lived on the outskirts. I loved it!

     

    Home Again
    After separating from her husband, Alice Kinney (Reese Witherspoon) thinks the most adventure she’ll have is moving back to L.A. and painting her bedroom pink. Then, she meets a dashing group of 20-something filmmakers — and invites them to stay for a while.

     

    The Lost City of Z
    In this movie based on a true story, a British explorer finds evidence of a long-lost, highly-advanced civilization in the middle of the Amazon rainforest.

     

    Maudie
    Maudie is the true story of an arthritic housekeeper who went on to become one of Nova Scotia’s most beloved folk artists.

     

    Band Aid
    In an effort to save their marriage, Anna and Ben decide to set all their tired arguments to song. This comedy depicts something rarely shown in cinema: The hard work it takes for a couple to stay together, and stay happy.

     

    Tulip Fever
    A married noblewoman, Sophia Sandvoort, was swept up in an affair with an artist. To escape her husband, Sophia switches places with the maid and runs off with her lover to invest in the tulip trade. Both beautiful and fascinating.

     

    Personal Shopper
    A personal shopper (Kristen Stewart) for a celebrity in Paris makes contact with the ghost of her twin brother, who died in Paris.

     

    I Don’t Feel At Home In This World Anymore
    Ruth doesn’t have much of a sense of purpose until one day she finds her home has been burglarized.

     

    The Lobster
    The weirdest, most excellent film about not having plans on Valentine’s Day. In The Lobster, people are expected to pair off with a monogamous partner by a certain age. If a person fails to achieve coupledom, like Colin Farrell’s character, he’s shipped off to a “single’s resort” where people have a last-ditch chance for romance. I loved it.

     

    20th Century Woman
    Set in the 1970s, this movie focuses on three California women experiencing love and change in California. Annette Bening, Greta Gerwig, and Elle Fanning were nominated for “Best Motion Picture” at the Golden Globes.

     

    American Honey
    Shia LaBeouf’s latest film has been nominated for six Independent Spirit Awards. Equal parts weird and fascinating.

     

    A Bigger Splash
    Watch Tilda Swinton and Ralph Fiennes deal with their angst as they lounge by the pool.

     

    Equals
    Nicholas Hoult and Kristen Stewart star in this dystopian film about a couple who dares to fall in love in a society that views emotions as a disease.

     

    The Shape of Water
    Guillermo Del Toro’s imaginative, sweeping new film is about a deep relationship that develops between a mute cleaning woman and a fish-man, transported to a government lab from his home in the Amazon. Just go with it. You’ll be happy you did.

     

    Hello, My Name Is Doris
    Watch Sally Field become the most endearing Brooklyn hipster ever.

     

    Demolition
    Watch Jake Gyllenhaal as a grieving husband tackling his emotions in an unorthodox way.

     

    Love & Friendship
    Kate Beckinsale in a witty adaptation of Jane Austen’s Lady Susan.

     

    Captain Fantastic
    This film about a father raising his kids completely off the grid — a fascinating meditation on family and modern living — is amazing!!!

  • This is 37

    This is 37
     
    Yesterday, sitting on the 9th floor of the Tate Modern in London — looking out at St Paul’s and the Millennial Bridge through the misty rain — I remembered the very first time I lived in London, 18 years ago. It was the year 2000. The millennial bridge had just been unveiled. I was 19, and young and naive.
     
    18 years later, here I am again, for the fourth time, licking my wounds and spilling my heart out, amongst the concrete and old and new buildings that make up this city.
     
    I turned 37 on Wednesday, August 8. Age and the passage of time feel like such a foreign thing to me. I cannot grasp their concepts and yet, here I am, another year has gone and when I am asked how old I am, I now say “37”. Do I feel 37? I don’t even know what that means.
     
    What I feel, is more myself than ever. I like who I am… no, I love who I am, who I have become and all the incidents, the joy, the pain, and the rollercoaster of life that have brought me here. I have loved and left and lost more times than most, and I am more fulfilled, secure in myself and whole, for it.
     
    Yesterday something else happened. I found a pineapple plant in a bin, which I took home to nurse back to health. It is sitting in a bucket of sugar-water by the window, and I laugh at myself and my compulsion to see the potential in everything and everyone, coupled with an intense desire to bring that potential to life. People, plants, homes. The platform doesn’t matter. I am driven to turn everything with an ounce of breath in it, to its highest potential.
     
    As I nurture this plant back to a full life, mourning all the house plants I left behind only 3 short months ago in the home that I shared with my love, I recognise the one fierce desire that has my mind spinning in circles at the moment. While I cannot, will not live a conventional life, I yearn for a home that I can call my own. But where that home could possibly be, is entirely lost on me. I have no idea how to commit and bind myself to one place.
     
    I always thought that a relationship would tether me to a particular place, but I’ve come to discover that if the terms of the relationship don’t suit me, it is not enough reason to stay. I’ve also realised that this is too heavy a weight to place on another person. I am responsible for my own anchoring and the decision has to come from within me.
     
    My ultimate dream is to live 6 months in one place (Europe?) and 6 months in another (Mexico?) but even committing to that feels almost overwhelming because what if I change my mind?
     
    Where on my last birthday I declared that this was the end of a 9-year cycle, this year feels like the beginning of something completely new. It’s plot-twist central and all I have is my body as a compass. Do what feels good. That’s my strategy and plan of action. Just do what feels good.
     

  • 8 self-care products to amplify your intuition

    8 self-care products to amplify your intuition
     
    While I touch on the importance of self-care in my new course IntuiMethod because when we take care of ourselves we become a clear channel towards what our body, heart and soul most needs, I focus mostly on the psychological aspects and practices that amplify your intuition. They are the ones that make the biggest difference, but there are a few simple and fun self-care practices that I thought would be fun to share with you.
     
    As you may have noticed, when you feel stressed, are in fight or flight survival mode, and your adrenaline is running high, which is how most people function on a day-to-day basis, it is really hard to tune into the subtle messages and inner knowing of your intuition. Instead, what we do is we rely on our linear, logical minds to direct us forward. The problem with that is that our minds cannot *think* beyond what they already know, so they get stuck in a cyclical pattern which just gives you more of the same.
     
    To step out of that reactive conditioning and actually return to alignment so you can hear your intuition you have to find ways to relax the body enough so you can feel it again instead of avoiding your bodies sensations by staying stuck in your mind. Here are some of my favourite useful and inexpensive products that help me do exactly that, so I can amplify my intuitive voice and follow the IntuiMethod.
     
    GABA — Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid is a kind of neurotransmitter in the central nervous system that helps to ease nervous tension, reduce stress and anxiety, promoting a positive mood and a feeling of well-being. I pop a 750mg tablet in my mouth after a big working day when I feel my central nervous system is extra flustered and it makes me feel so relaxed and kind of stoned. Some people call it “natural Valium” and I have friends who used to use it after big nights out partying to inhibit a comedown.
     
    Calm Nights — We all know that sleep and dreams help us get unstuck from our waking mindset. They allow us to see solutions that aren’t apparent to our logical, conscious minds. Studies show that more than one-third of the subjects in any given study reported that deep sleep or dreaming about a problem guided them to an intuitive solution. But if you’re not getting that deep REM sleep so you can access your intuition? Try Calm Nights, a powerful blend of magnesium, GABA, Suntheanine, L Theanine and Melatonin. I use it sparingly but it works like a dream.
     
    Evening Primrose Oil —  It has a compound known as phenylalanine that can help with pain relief, and is increasingly used with remedying headaches, as well as reducing inflammation. Pain, headaches, inflammation, all these body conditions tend to make us want to avoid our bodies and therefore avoid our intuitions, so taking Evening Primrose Oil regularly helps dispel this avoidance and amplifies your ability to connect with your intuition.
     
    Bach Rescue Remedy — I use the “comfort and reassure” one which I keep in my handbag. I tend to reach for it especially when I am travelling as all the bright lights and weird smells and people coughing and fake air in airports and on planes really disrupts my calm and balance. It helps me stay present, connected to my intuition and patient.
     
    Lavender essential oil — I love dropping lavender essential oil on my pillow before I got to sleep but you can also diffuse it during meditation or journaling or place it on your wrists or ankles before you go out. Its role is to increase calmness that enables us to relax and let intuition be the guide.
     
    Dry body brush — Dry brushing improves the function of the nervous system and rejuvenates the nervous system by stimulating nerve endings in the skin. When your nervous system in feeling good, clean and clear, you are a clear channel for your body to transmit intuitive messages to you.
     
    Epsom salts — If you’re empathic (aka: human) it’s possible that you sometimes feel confused, scattered, exhausted, fatigued and irritable because of the whirlwind of life that is going on around us. Epsom salt in a hot bath soaks away all the external noise so you can come back to the subtle, gentle voice that is always guiding you to your own truth, inside.
     
    Almond Oil — While you’re in that bath, pop a glass bottle of almond oil in it and let the hot water in the bath gently heat the oil so that when you get out you can generously slather it onto your skin. This is a trick I learned from my Ayurvedic practitioner who taught me that it is important to care for my drier Vata dosha type with lost of warm oils. Almond oil is now for pacifying a strung out central nervous system so you can feel your intuition again. Most interestingly, the word ‘Almond’ comes from ‘Amygdala’ — a part of the limbic system of the brain — the key role of the amygdala is the function of decision-making, memory and emotions. It is believed that applying almond oil can help keep these in balance.
     

    See all the products listed here:

     

  • How I hone in and focus on a specific project even when I have alllll the ideas


     
    I woke up this morning at 6 am feeling a familiar combination of excitement and anxiety: I had a full day of Skype calls with clients and a creative project persistently tugging at my ankles. It is the one. I want to give it every ounce of my attention. I wake up in the middle of the night to type notes with eyes half closed into my phone for it. I dream about it and stress about it and it is consuming me.
     
    But it wasn’t always that way.
     
    Like every idea, this one came as a passing thought, amongst many other thoughts on a regular thought-filled day. There was nothing special about it. It didn’t stand out in any particular way.
     
    After years of creativity, I now have a candid system, that allows me to capture the ones that are meant for me. This is how I hone in and focus on a specific project even when I have alllll the ideas.
     
    Just like the seasons and the moon and everything else in nature, I go through a sequence of cycles in my creative process. There are four parts: idea, incubation, evolution and formation. Within those four parts are woven four other strategies: testing, space, structure and offer.
     
    Idea
    Ideas are like stars. There are billions of them but not all of them are going to light up the sky in your corner of the universe. Whenever I have an idea that I feel particularly inspired or excited by, I add it to a fluid ever-changing list of ideas. I often get ideas while I am working on something else, and sometimes there is an irresistible urge to jump ship and move onto this new idea now. If it’s something smaller, that I can do in a day, I allow myself to be swept away by the creative current. If it’s something bigger, I add it to my list and trust that, if it is the next one, it will incubate and start to reveal more of itself in the future. Some ideas are particularly persistent and alluring, while others fade away and end up being crossed off the list.
     
    Test
    Once an idea had caught my attention particularly, I test it out. I start with self-enquiry:
     
    Does this idea stand the test of time?
    Do I have the resources to execute it?
    Will I still be excited by it in a week, month or year?
    Can I commit myself to it for however long it takes to complete?
    Is the commitment worth my time and energy?
     
    If there is even an inkling of apathy, I let it be for now. If there is a full-body yespleasetakemenow, I move onto the next phase: testing. I check in with my tribe, the people that I create for, and see if they’re as into the idea as I am. I love that I can rely on them to always tell me how it is. If it’s “no” I drop it and move on. There are always more great ideas.
     
    Incubation
    Upon receiving a green light from my folks, the idea generally moves into the incubation stage. This is where timelines start to differ. Some ideas have been quietly incubating before I even took notice of them, so the incubation phase is shorter. The creative project that I am working on right now, has been incubating for about 18 months, but in reality, it is the culmination of my 36 years of existence.
     
    Space
    Incubation requires a lot of space in order for the idea to take form. Because it is my idea, it is something that I am already wildly fascinated by and involved with in my life in one way or another, and so it is being fed by my natural curiosity and interest to explore and learn more. Ideas come through me, they are not mine, but rather an expression of all of us, that takes pieces of me and integrates them into it as it grows. I give it space and quietly ruminate, allowing myself time to come to a place where I can feel the fullness of it start to burst forth.
     
    N.B.: Incubation and Space are non-active parts of the creative process. What that means is they require nothing from me, but the allowing of them to be present in the back of my mind, while I do and focus on other things. I might be working on a different creative idea or project while a new one is taking form and incubating. I might be in-between ideas. I might be brimming with allll the other ideas, and giving some of them my attention, while I file others away to refer back to in the future, using the system outlined previously.  My focus is not entirely on the idea. Instead, I allow it to guide me, around when it is time to give it my undivided attention. I know when that is, because, like right now, there is nothing I would rather do or think about.
     
    Evolution
    This is when things get exciting because I get to initiate the making of the idea into a real, tangible, accessible thing. Generally, all that the evolution process involves is some blank paper or my journal and some coloured pens. I give myself the freedom to play, to be curious, to brainstorm and write down all the concepts and ways that I could engineer this idea. Sometimes it takes a few minutes, as a result of much incubation, sometimes the process happens in moments between other things over several weeks.
     
    At this point, I usually have a number of options around roll-out and will go back and test those with my tribe once more. Sometimes what I think is best, is not what they want, and they always provide me with fresh insight on how to make the things I make, better.
     
    Something else that often happens at this point, is a new wave of bright and brilliant ideas, vying for my attention. I give them the same treatment as I do all ideas: follow through if they are resolute and easily completed, or add them to my list for further review. I firmly believe that if the idea is that good, it can wait for me or move on to someone else who can provide it with the nurturing it requires in that moment.
     
    Structure
    Along with this evolution of the idea into a more cohesive form, a tangle of many elements, thoughts, concept and visions, comes the need to wrap the idea in structure, to give it lasting power.
     
    Much like we swaddle a newborn, we want to tightly envelop our idea-babies in a safe web of timelines and plans, so that it can grow into the thing we want. I used to believe that structure was creative kryptonite. I quickly learned after many incompleted and failed attempts to follow through on creative ideas, that without something to hold and move it all together in union the evolution of my ideas are at risk of getting lost and falling apart.
     
    It is here, where I take everything and break it down into a comprehensive, chronological flow that can be easily utilized. I write the overlying concept to guide me and pull out the leading topics. I create a breakdown of all the various steps that need to be done to completion and map out a timeline within which I want to create my vision. And finally, I place each step into my calendar over the defined time-period.
     
    Formation
    I often feel like formation is the most paradoxical phase because it is both the most fun (yay: creativity) and the one that brings up the most resistance because now you’ve actually got to do this thing and give form to something that was previously only a notion. The birthing of a creative idea is not without pain or challenge.
     
    The one I am working on right now has been full of stops and starts, and yet every day it finds a way to lure me back in and engage me. I am being stretched and asked to dig deeper than I ever have before which takes more time than my overly-optimistic taskmaster mind likes. I know this about myself and plan in less than I think I can do when I am creating the structure and timeline. I also make a note of celebrating my accomplishments as I go along, every day, even if it’s as small as completing a particularly difficult paragraph.
     
    Offer
    This is all about sharing the creative idea with the world and offering it. Another word I could use here is marketing. My marketing process begins as soon as I’ve engaged in the evolution stage. I start by sharing my creative process on social media. I write little hints about it on my blog, like this article you are reading right now. I keep the lines of communication open with my tribe and keep coming back to them, asking how they feel about specific approaches I have in mind around the creative project I am working on. The closer I come to completion, the more I share.
     
    At this point, I am still fairly early on in the active formation stage, and so I’m still holding much of this project close to my heart. It’s important to keep some secrets, secret. But slowly, slowly I am revealing more and more. What I do know and can share is that that I am going to have a month-long pre-sale period where folks can buy this project at a significantly reduced price, before the official release date in January 2018.
     
    That’s my strategic process for honing in and focusing on a specific project, even when I have allll the ideas. I teach other heart-led creative and business practices, like this one, in another of my projects: The Heartful Biz.
     
     

  • 8 books that have opened my eyes and given me pivotal tools for transition + change


     
    I have noticed that I tend to go through two different phases: In one phase I block out all the external noise and create, a lot. In the other phase I am selectively receptive, open and I learn, a lot.
     
    It is in that second phase that I start reading and absorbing all the books that I have collected over the months, ready for them to open my eyes and give me pivotal tools for transition and change. This is where I find myself right now.
     
    I love the way books, and their audio counterparts that accompany me on long walks and while sunbathing, always tell me exactly what I need to hear and seem to arrive at exactly the time I am ready to hear them.
     
    Whether you find yourself in phase one or two right now, I wanted to share with you my latest favourites, so you can either tuck them on your bedside table for later, or start devouring them with hungry eyes, straight away.
     
     
    Sacred Success
    I often catch myself enthusiastically nodding my head and emphatically gasping “yes” even on my second spin of this book as Barbara Stanny, author of Overcoming Underearning explores the true meaning of money for women, and how it can be used as a tool to step into their power. Essentially, for us women money isn’t about money, it is about choice, freedom, alignment and power. I love every word she speaks and my heart skipped a beat when you, very practically, teaches you how to wield the power of money well. She makes affluence meet generosity and creating positive change in the world. Get it here.
     
     
    The Woman Code
    I picked this one up upon several recommendations when I decided I wanted to educate myself around my health changes and challenges. It completely changed the way I viewed and understood women’s hormones, our cycles and the way that our needs for different types of foods and exercises changes, week-by-week and even day-by-day. Alisa Vitti’s book helped me change my diet habits and gave me the permission slip I needed to take a different approach to life. Get it here.
     
     
    Red Moon
    I’m obsessed with the link between moon cycles and menstrual cycles at the moment and Miranda Gray is my go-to women to reference on this topic. She says when women ovulate at the full moon and bleed at the dark, new moon you are in a fertile cycle that supports nesting, settling down and caring for loved ones… And when a woman ovulates at the dark moon and bleeds at the full moon our attention is away from the energies of procreation and the material world and towards inner development and its expression.’ She adds that both cycles are expressions of the feminine energies and neither is more powerful or more correct than the other. I used to always bleed at the full moon, but ever since my lover and I bought a house my nesting instinct immediately kicked in and I now bleed at the new moon. Fascinating stuff! Get it here.
     
     
    The Universe Has Your Back
    I am a firm believer that we create our lives through the words we speak, the thoughts we think and the vibes that we emit out into the universe. I personally call it ‘manifesting’ and talk, teach and write about it a lot. This easy read by Gabby Bernstein is essential about exactly that: how we can create our lives through intentional thinking and being. It’s a beautiful reminder of just how powerful we are, and how important it is to dance the co-creative dance with the universe to live your happiest, most fulfilled and best life. Get it here.
     
     
    Jab, Jab, Jab, Right Hook
    This book was recommended to me years ago, but I wasn’t quite ready to read it until recently. The premise is that effective marketing is real and generous, something that I wholeheartedly agree with. In more detail, the formula is to give 75% value and then only ask for sales 25% of the time, something that I have applied to my work as much as possible, and love. Gary Vaynerchuk is a leader in social media marketing and I love the straightforward, no BS approach he has toward business. Get it here.
     
     
    Defy Gravity
    Another one of those books that just left me nodding my head like a bobble head, Carolyn Myss takes us through the energetic healing that has to occur in order for our bodies to be at their healthiest. While the title may seem a bit misleading listening to this audio book makes me feel weightless as I work through past traumas and unwanted patterns as I listen to her wisdom. Get it here.
     
     
    The Vortex
    Voices of wisdom channeled through Esther Hicks, The Vortex is an extensive outline on how to live a spiritual life and use manifesting in a way that is conscious and self-aware. Since this is a topic that I have stepped much of my life into, these teachers are my favourite source of knowledge on creating a life in alignment with my unique energy. Get it here.
     
     
    Nobody Wants to Read Your Shit
    I wrote 24,000 words to turn into a book last year. Then I came to Canada and life happened and I’ve not quite gotten the last part finished. Partly because only now am I learning more about what needs to be included. Partly because I’m scared it won’t be good enough. In this book Steven Pressfield very beautifully outlines how to write anything: a script, a blog post, a movie, or a book, so that people will read it and love it. I took millions of notes and it was a game-changer in the way I have structured and formatted and created the flow of my writing. I would call this a bible for writers. Get it here.
     

  • 99 sacred characters and symbols for you to copy and paste into your social media


     
    Every now and then, when I am writing a social media post or updating my profile, I want to embellish it with pretty symbols and characters that illustrate pieces of my soul.
     
    For some reason, it always feels like such a chore to find the exact ones I want, and to put them together in a way that’s magical and alluring.
     
    So decided to gather a list of sacred characters and symbols that I like to use, and copy and paste into my social media, without having to scour the entire internet for them.
     
    I thought you might like them too. Enjoy!
     
     
    SUN, MOON + STARS
    ☾ ☽  ❍ ☼ ☀ ★ ☆ ☄ ╰☆╮ ✳ ✴
     
    PLANETS

    ☉☽ ☾ ● ◯ ☿ ♀ ♄ ♃ ⊕ ♁ ♂ ♅ ♆ ♇
     

    ARROWS
    ↠ ↞ ➵ ➳ ➳ ➴ ➵ ➶ ➷ ➸ ➹ ➺ ➻ ➼ ➽ ← ↑ → ↓ ↔ ⋖ ⋗ ⋘ ⋙ ☟
     
    FLOWERS
    ❀ ✿ ❇ ❈ ❅ ❄ ❆ ✷ ✸ ✹ ✺ ✻ ✼ ❆ ❈ ❊ ❋
     
    LOVE HEARTS
    ♥ ♡ ❥ ❤
     
    SACRED SYMBOLS
    ◯  ◠ ⋒ ≋ ❂ ྊ ྾ ྿ ࿄ ࿇ ࿈ ࿉ ࿊ ࿋ ࿌ ࿏
     
    TRIANGLES
    ► ◄ ᐄ ⍙ ◣◢◥▲ ▼△▽
     
     

  • The truth is, I’ve been struggling…

    The truth is, I've been struggling...
     
    Yesterday I went to a lunchtime yoga class. There was a small rectangle of sun on the studio floor shining in from the window. I hurried to it and placed my mat down within that exact rectangle. I didn’t care that I wasn’t in line with the other mats. I just needed the sun. As I peeled my top off to reveal my sports bra and pulled my yoga tights up to my knees, and laid down, tears came to my eyes. The sun felt so good on my stomach, chest, arms and legs as it warmed me and penetrated my skin.
     
    Tears have been a daily companion the last two weeks.
     
    I can’t really explain them. I suppose many things have compounded at once. I just feel really sad. And sometimes really angry. One kind word from someone and I feel those tears well up in my eyes again. I quickly squeeze my eyes shut in the hope to make them go away. Crying doesn’t always feel so comfortable around people you barely know. More often than not they well over and slowly make their way down my face, as I look at people apologetically and assure them it’s not their fault.
     
    I can explain the tears logically, pragmatically, sensibly, if I want to.
     
    I’m coming off the traveler’s high. After 6 months of rapid movement, adventure and constant focus on what’s next, stopping and being still feels like a small death. Withdrawal has set in and I desperately want that feeling of being immersed in the sensation of the high to never end, yet I know that it’s time to stop and restore life to a softer pace. I want this. And yet I resist it.
     
    I haven’t had real sun in about 2 months, and it is possible that I have a vitamin D deficiency. Our bodies need 10 – 20 minutes of direct sunlight on our skin every day. Without it we start to whither, much like a flower, and can feel anxious, depressed, and have a compromised immune system. People often mock me about having a hard time with winter, but you’re Austrian! And they are right. But I have spent my entire life living in summer.
     
    I haven’t found my tribe… yet. That sort of thing takes time. And there are so many people who are barely alive, here. It hurts to see so much of humanity walk around like zombies like this. I cried to one of my best friends who lives in the UK about a few days ago. She said You often miss the real version of people… you have surrounded yourself with adventurous folk who have an open-minded global perspective… most people are boring and bored. Another friend said Welcome back to Earth. They are right. I have created a very narrowly filtered reality for myself filled with incredible human beings doing truly great things. And I intend to keep doing exactly that. Because that’s what I want to strengthen in the world. That’s why I have this space, here, and you.
     
    On a deeper level, I think there’s a lot more going on than the practical reasons I can give to my solemn mood. Because really, my life is very, very good. A new, local friend reminded me yesterday that often when we are processing strong, heavy, challenging emotions they are not only ours. There’s a lot shifting in the world and in our stars. Those of us who are willing to feel it, do the work for all of us. That’s what lightworkers do she said.
     
    I know exactly what I need to do during this time: allow myself to feel as uncomfortable as I feel.
     
    These times of discomfort are always the rich fertilizer for radical transformation. I can almost taste it, there’s an urgency to what’s ahead. A sense that what will happen next is really, really different, and that I am being prepared for it. Yet I feel impatient and want to know everything, now. Cultivating radical self-trust takes all my strength and courage during times like these.
     
    Two things are saving me during this time.
     
    A deepening in my spiritual practice: my meditations are more insightful and powerful than ever, as I return to this connection with Source from within over and over during the days. I feel pulled to bring in more ritual and dedication to listening and connecting, and crave a space of my own to do that in. This too, will come.
     
    And gratitude: every night before I go to sleep, I mentally walk myself through all the things that I have to be grateful for during the day that just passed. It always surprises me how many things I can find that I am truly appreciative of. The thing here, is not to just think it, but to actually feel it. It’s with feeling gratitude that my body relaxes and can absorb the loving energy that flows through from the thoughts.
     
    Fascinatingly, I’ve never felt more creative than I do now. Creatives often bemoan the fact that they are most inspired when faced with challenge. It’s almost like that sense of loneliness, of isolation, allows us to nudge that much closer to our souls, and pour what we find inside, out. This process is to heal more than to share. And the result of the process is art.
     
    Last Sunday I frantically created ‘Love Letters’, a free 7 day journaling course as it surged out from within me. From it has evolved an idea that has been toying with me for longer than I care to admit: a very intimate look into my daily writing and journaling practice, that I use to literally create my life. I can’t wait to reveal it to you, in a few short days, with the New Moon.
     

  • Intuition is seeing with the soul.

    Intuition is seeing with the soul.
     
    Intuition is seeing with the soul. — Dean Koontz
     
    Intuition is a phenomenon of bridging the heart and the mind, through an intangible sense or feeling. It describes the ability to acquire knowledge without inference or the use of logical reasoning. The word “intuition” comes from Latin verb “intueri” translated to the word intuit, “to contemplate”.
     
    Intuition is often interpreted as the ability to understand something instinctively, without the need for conscious reasoning.
     
    It is an ability available to all of us, commonly known to be an aspect of our right brain function, and requires strengthening, just like a muscle. The more you use it, the easier it is and the faster it responds.
     
    The universe sends us directions through our intuition; and we receive them through an inner voice, a tug in the heart, a sense, a vibe, a deep inner thought, a feeling, a certain subtle knowing, an energy that directs us along the way. We each feel this intuition in a different way and because it is subtle, it can seem elusive. If we pay attention we can connect to it in the centre of our body, like a deep inborn guidance system wired to the divine.
     
    Have you ever been in a situation where you heard a very quiet, yet distinct intuitive warning, and ignored it, only to look back in hindsight and think “I knew that was a bad idea!”?
     
    Yes? No? Maybe?
     
    I have been in that situation tonnes of times!
     
    It was around the time that I decided to start listening to my intuition more, that I noticed just how often I was getting myself into trouble, by ignoring the wisdom that the universe was consistently sharing with me.
     
    I was 23, and I decided, after many, many mishaps — more than I’d like to admit — that I was finally ready to heed the strong persistent signs, voices and feelings that were arising as my intuition. So I set an intention, and made a pact with my intuition that I wrote in my journal.
     
    Why not write one yourself?
     
    Set the intention to connect to the universe and write a letter to your intuition, making a promise and a pact to start listening, paying attention and heeding its call.
     
    Here’s a template to get your wheels turning…
     
     
    Dear Intuition,
     
    I am sorry I have been ignoring you for so long. It’s not because I don’t appreciate you, but because I was taught not to listen and trust you, or that you are wrong.
     
    Thank you for the way you have _____________.
     
    I now make a pact and a promise to connect to your guidance and hear your wisdom.
     
    Please guide me when I  _____________.
     
    Please speak louder when I _____________ and show me the signs even if I _____________.
     
    I may not always heed your call as I learn to recognise you more. Please be patient with me and show yourself in ways that I can understand.
     
    Thank you for being my _____________, my _____________, and my true _____________.
     
    I love and appreciate you.
     
    [your name here]
     
     
    Soon after I wrote a letter, very much like this one, literally days later, I found myself in another one of those ‘situations’.
     
    I was meant to go on a date with a very cute boy; a dreadlocked ballet dancer. On the morning of that day, I woke up, stretched and went outside to our backyard in my panties and t-shirt for a few minutes to catch some sun. Moments later, the back door slammed shut, and for the first (and last) time of living there, was suddenly locked out of my house.
     
    Barely dressed, I walked around the sides of the house, looking for ways to break in. Nothing. The neighbours weren’t home and there was nowhere I could go. So I sat down and waited.
     
    I heard my phone ring. I ran around the house and saw it, happily buzzing away on my bed, with no way to reach it. I was late for my date.
     
    Several hours later my housemate arrived back home, and let me in. I apologised profusely to my date and rescheduled. Only to discover that this very cute boy, had some serious anger problems, a drug addiction, and was on too many counts entirely wrong for me.
     
    In hindsight, I realised that my intuition was trying to tell me very loudly (as I had asked) not to meet this boy. But I was stubborn and determined and had to find out for myself.
     
    This particular incidence prompted me to completely surrender myself, my life, and my decisions to the wisdom of the universe, as communicated to me by my intuition.
     
    Over the past 12 years, since that fated day, my intuition has grown in strength and precision, and is now my only counsel for the choices I make and the way I live my life.
     
    What it took, was to learn to listen, hear and take action on the direction of a gentle guidance, that often doesn’t have a logical explanation.
     
    I had to practice, from moment to moment, being very still within myself, to check in, ask for guidance and pay attention to the direction I was being guided in.
     
    Practice taking time throughout the day, checking in with how you feel, and adjusting your choices and environment to align with what feels right for you.
     
    Photo: Camille Moir Smith
     

  • 35 BIG mistakes I’ve made in the past 35 years that changed my life for the better. 

    35 BIG mistakes I've made in the past 35 years that changed my life for the better.  with VSCO with f2 preset
     
    In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you.
     
    I turned 35 today. I wrote about it earlier this year. I feel really good about it. I’ve done so much in my life already, more than the average human, and that makes me feel proud and satisfied. I’ve also fucked up (a lot) and made some big mistakes in my life that have changed my life for the better.
     
    I thought I’d share them with you today. Maybe you’ve made the same mistakes. Or maybe you can skip making them and just learn from mine.
     
    Enjoy!
     
    1. Loving too much. While I do believe that love is the answer to almost everything, it also has to be balanced. I tried to save my mother with love, and didn’t work. I got into the wrong relationships and they didn’t work. It wasn’t until I learned that love alone isn’t enough, that I understood what love really is.
     
    2. Dishonouring my boundaries. It’s still something I’m working on, boundaries were non-existent in my life a few years ago. As a recovering ‘rescuer’ I’m learning how to identify boundaries as a safe container for self-love while also taking risks.
     
    3. Believing in external security. Our society loves to pump us full of promises that we will find a sense of security out there if we follow the rules and buy the things. Get a job, and get married and you’ll feel secure. Lies. People get fired and divorced all the time. Buy our insurance and get all the fancy things and you will feel secure. Lies. Insurance doesn’t pay for acts of god, and acts of god often vanquish our fancy things. Real security comes from knowing, loving and accepting oneself. And staying open and flexible with the ever-changing nature of life.
     
    4. Fighting for things to go my way. When we soften, the world softens. If you are fighting, and it isn’t working — try softening. This is where you learn to go with the flow.
     
    5. Not trusting. The signs, the people with good advice, the support networks all around. I didn’t realise that these where all here to guide my way and take care of me. Trust is the highest currency of the heart. Use it generously and wisely.
     
    6. Being afraid of being ‘weak’. In the meantime I’ve discovered that vulnerability is a superpower. When I am vulnerable, open, honest — I am stronger than anything that might be in my way.
     
    7. Wanting to ‘find myself’. Finding myself actually showed me that I was never lost. What was lost is a sense of certainty in myself. But uncertainty is a gift: it breeds skepticism, it breeds openness and it breeds non-judgement. It helps you grow and evolve.
     
    8. Needing to know all the answers. So instead I’ve learned the art of not having to know. And I let it all be. And just keep moving. It’s much more fun, this way.
     
    9. Being too hard on my self. It is atrocious, the demands and expectations we place on ourselves. Since I’ve let go, I’ve achieved and done more than I ever did when I gave myself a hard time.
     
    10. Waiting for external validation. When instead, it’s up to you (and me) to decide: you are fucking awesome.
     
    11. Getting caught up in eating trends. The green smoothies. The paleo. The vegan thing. The all or nothing. The raw till 4. Fuck that shit. Eat what your body wants to eat. Eat things that are alive. Avoid boxes and packaging. It’s that simple.
     
    12. Being addicted to stress. Gah! I’m still working on that one. It’s cellular. But I’m getting better and better at relaxing and enjoying the simple, little things, every day.
     
    13. Thinking that who you spend time with, doesn’t matter. I had this crazy belief that I could overcome any negative person with my positive energy. But man is that exhausting! And you just end up giving away your energy. Now I’m very, very selective and adhere to the rule: the 5 people closest to you are a representation of who you are; and choose to spend my time with people who uplift me and encourage me to shine brighter.
     
    14. Putting joy at the bottom of my essentials list. My upbringing was all about putting others first. Martyrdom before joy. Many of us have been taught that. But the moment I made joy a non-negotiable, I started living the life I always dreamed of.
     
    15. Waiting for permission. How often do we wait for someone to say “yes” to what we want to do? Too often. That’s how often. You don’t need permission. If it lights you up, do it. End of discussion.
     
    16. Being afraid to speak my truth. Because no-one wants to hear what I have to say, right? Don’t want to upset the god-damn boat, do we?! Wrong. No-body cares what you say, but saying what it truth for you, is ground-breaking.
     
    17. Having grandiose fears of being punished. Just in case the entire world is out to punish me for innumerable sins, I would hide away. And then I realised, hey — we’re all sinners! And stopped that.
     
    18. Doing the ‘nice girl’ thing. For many years I thought that in order to get the things you want, you had to play the ‘nice girl’ card. But being nice, is suffocating. It’s stifling. It’s soul-murder. Don’t be nice, be you.
     
    19. Believing that everyone else has the answer. Guess what?! Everyone’s making it up, just like you. So no more of that, thank you very much.
     
    20. Shrinking, because I’m a woman. I love men. This is not about them. It’s about the social conditioning to be less than men, because I’m a woman. This is not helpful and true, for anyone. There is not better. Men are men. Women are women. We show up in our individual ways. Be who you are. Stand tall and proud and do what you want to do.
     
    21. Waiting for someone else to take care of my finances. I grew up in a world where money was ‘the mans realm’. It’s almost like I grew up in the 1940’s. Lady, did I have to break down some social conditioning to get through that mountain of a molehill! Now, I very happily am in charge, and my money mound is healthily expanding.
     
    22. Blaming others, or circumstances for my woes. Learning to take 100% responsibility for my well-being and happiness has been the best lesson ever. Now, whenever I want to point my finger out into the world, I take that finger and point it straight back at me and ask “What can I do right now, to change this / make this better / choose something else?”. Simple, easy, mind-blowing.
     
    23. Being scared to piss people off. But being a people-pleaser is social suicide, and at some point, we are all going to do things that others don’t like. And that’s ok.
     
    24. Expecting others to just ‘know’ what I need. These lips didn’t know how to ask for what I need, or communicate what my boundaries are, because I thought, for too long, that we all work on an equal assumption of what we all need and what everyone’s boundaries are. Not so however.
     
    25. Feeling guilty when things are going great. It’s almost like I would expect someone to come along and show me that I didn’t deserve all the awesome. Enjoy your awesome, people! You deserve every ounce of it. Own it. It’s yours.
     
    26. Being afraid to set real, definite goals. Call them intentions if you wish. Or dreams. But essentially, I was so afraid of failure, I wouldn’t put my big dreams in motion and hence miss out on multitudes of opportunities, that the universe is constantly gifting us with.
     
    27. Having FOMO. The fear of missing out is so real, that sometimes we say “yes” to things that should definitely be a “no”. It’s so wonderful to have the wisdom I have now: that everything is happening at just the perfect time, and what is for you, won’t pass you by.
     
    28. Bulldozing past my energy levels. I’d push and push and push until I fell into a heap of exhaustion. It’s not okay. Now, I protect my energy levels, my time and space, like a spiritual ninja.
     
    29. Giving away my power to situations I cannot control. What I can control is myself, and how I choose to show up in this world. You too? Perhaps now is the time to start asking yourself, what kind of legacy and impact do you want to leave behind in the world… Write it down, map it out, and turn it into a plan by breaking it down into daily micro-actions that result in re-creating your life and telling a new story.
     
    30. Trying to do everything the ‘right’ way. As if there is a right way. Ha!
     
    31. Confusing my identity with my work. The part of you that equates your sense of worth with “what you do” is your ego.
     
    32. Confusing my output with my worth. The part of you that equates your worth with “how hard you work” is also your ego.
     
    33. Thinking that ‘more is better’. It’s not. More is more. This is better: what is necessary, for this to be at its ultimate, most essential, best? That is all that’s required. Magic. Love. Work. Worth.
     
    34. Holding on too long, to people who didn’t deserve it. I think that’s a mistake we all make at some point. Letting go, letting go, letting. There’s purification and expansion in knowing when to let go.
     
    35. Copying others because my art didn’t feel ‘enough’. When I first started writing, I would copy others’ words down into a notepad to see what it feels like to write words that meant something. It took me a long time to trust and like my own art and voice. I did the same thing when I was learning to draw. I would take sketches that I loved and draw them myself until their art felt like my art. I’m doing the same as I’m learning to sing. I hear a voice and imitate it until I can’t tell if it’s my voice or theirs. Part of this is learning, part of this is hiding because owning what you have, doesn’t feel ‘enough’. Holding back my own art, and copying others is both detrimental and helpful. Knowing when and where to draw the line, is the difference between stealing and learning.
     

  • How ‘going with the flow’ and ‘intentionally creating your life’ live side by side. 

    How 'going with the flow' and 'intentionally creating your life' live side by side. 
     
    Two plane rides. A bus. 3 nights in a hotel. 4 Nasi Goreng (rice with veg) 3 thali (Indian curries with rice). 2 pineapples. Another bus. Another plane ride. A short trip in a car. 1 night in a hotel. A breakfast buffet where I stuffed myself with as much melon and coffee as I could. 3 client calls. 47 emails. A long car ride. A small dog vomiting in the back of the car. And I arrived at my current destination.
     
    Within moments I was devastated. This was not, absolutely not in any circumstances, what I wanted.
     
    Weeks ago, when Julien and I first decided to leave New Zealand 3 months early, we made a compromise. That Julien would arrange for us to spend time at, and work for, various volunteering projects along the way, which would be good for his career and his interest in conservation. I wholeheartedly agreed. Travel is so much more fulfilling and meaningful, when you can channel what you are experiencing and learning into something valuable. I get to do it, every day, with the work that I do.
     
    So he went ahead, and arranged for the first volunteer position. An orangutan conservation centre on the Malaysian side of the 3rd biggest island in the world: Borneo. They needed someone to baby-sit a beach resort they are building, a project designed to support the conservation centre, while the main caretaker is on holidays. It sounded idyllic and ideal.
     
    Arriving, I was miserable to discover what we had stepped into.
     
    The building, floors and rooms we sleep in were covered in concrete dust. The beds are springy, old steel frames covered in sheets that have holes in them. I found a flea in one of them. The bathroom and kitchen were overflowing with filthy water. The beach was covered in plastic rubbish. There was dust and dirt and sand everywhere. Building and construction trash sits in almost every room, and around every single edge of the unfinished concrete buildings.
     
    There was no love. There was no beauty. There was no cleanliness. The place was a mess. It felt like a refugee war camp.
     
    I hated it.
     
    I came out onto the beach. Julien was swimming in the water. “I love it here!” he says. I look at him stunned. “Really?!!!”
     
    I explain to him that this is a far cry from the reality I am intentionally creating for myself. I honour myself by holding certain boundaries and standards in place. A few years ago, I learned what it takes for me to feel good, to care for myself and give the best of myself to the world. When I don’t uphold what feels good to me, my energy levels feel depleted, I cannot show up fully, my creativity wanes, and I get frustrated, annoyed and resentful more easily.
     
    As an act of self-love I choose to spend time in places that resonate beauty, spaces that are filled with love, projects that are fuelled with grace and abundance. It’s better for me, and for those around me. This place screams lack, limitation and leaves a bitter after-taste of forlornness. It is in no way aligned with the direction I am moving in, in my life.
     
    This current life experience is a reflection of several factors.
     

    • A partner who doesn’t uphold the same standards that I do. Not all people are as sensitive as I am, to their environment. Not everyone is doing the same kind of deep soul-work that requires a safe, beautiful container to flourish in. Not everyone has learned the powerful impact that choosing to live life at your highest level has. I know and understand this. He attracts experiences that are at a different level of vibration than I do. I’ve seen this happen in the past, and I am aware of it.

     

    • The residue of my boundless enthusiasm to embrace all experiences. I hold such strong boundaries in my life now, in response to not having had any at all in the past. I spent most of my twenties exploring the darkest depths of life. I cared not for taking care of myself. I cared only for adventure. And adventure I got. But it came at a cost. A cost that I now appreciate as life lessons, and have transformed into the magic of upholding boundaries. I see now, however, that there are still some energy leaks in my precious container. I still have things to learn around upholding my values and boundaries. I am grateful for the reminder.

     
    This is where ‘going with the flow’ and ‘intentionally creating your life’ find a way to live side by side.
     
    Intentionally creating your life is about the vision you hold for yourself now, and into the future. It’s the dreams, the values, the desires, the beliefs and the intentions you have. These elements create the roadmap for how you want life to feel and look like. They invite your manifestations and determine the direction you will move.
     
    Flow is the natural movement that your life takes in response to your beliefs, choices, visions, dreams and circumstances. Some may call it karma. Others might call it life lessons. Most of our current experiences are a response to intentions and manifestations that were set, often subconsciously, in the past. Our current life is an indicator of what we once believed was true and possible for ourselves. It is the best compass for showing us, where we need to grow, expand, heal and make new choices.
     
    In every moment, you are intentionally creating your life, with your thoughts and focus, and living the flow-on effect of that. The flow then gives us indicators on how we want to adjust our sails to experience the level of life that we desire for ourselves.
     
    I believe everything in life is exactly as it is supposed to be. And that sometimes, when life gives you a circumstance that doesn’t align with your vision, the best thing you can do is surrender and open up to the lesson.
     
    Returning to the beach that day, with Julien in the water, he asked me if I was going to be miserable. He noted my disappointment and feared that I would resent him for the choices that led us to where we are now.
     
    “I’m going to do what I always do.” I replied. “I am going to make it the best experience that I can.”
     
    We swept the concrete building that we are living in. Twice. I mopped the floors of our rooms. Three times. We places buckets of water at entry ways to wash away the sand. We cleaned the kitchen and dried out the floors. Julien built me a bamboo cabana to sit on, in the sand. I created a little office space with a space mat and a chair as a desk in an empty room.
     
    I get up to watch the sunrise every day, and enjoy the simple stillness. I collect fresh, ripe fallen mangoes from the surrounding trees for breakfast every morning. I swim in the warm, salty blue ocean. I work, as much as I can. And I surrender.
     
    This experience wasn’t what I wanted. It is not aligned with my vision and the life I am intentionally creating for myself. If I was on my own, I wouldn’t have chosen it.
     
    But I am being given many gifts here.
     
    The opportunity to share my vision, beliefs and boundaries with the one I love, at a deeper level. This conflict in interest became an invitation to open up a deeper conversation around self-worth, values and boundaries.
     
    Tremendous space and time to simply be in stillness. Nothing inspires my creative mind more than complete and utter acceptance and stillness. And while it’s still at its tender intangible stages, this space that I find myself in, has become fuel for creating something bigger in life and work. It’s exciting.
     
    And a reminder to let go, and focus on the little things. Appreciating the little things, is all that really matters.
     
    Every experience holds a precious lesson in it. When you find it, you discover that you are always exactly where you are meant to be.
     

  • My non-negotiable travel essentials + packing list.

    My non-negotiable travel essentials + packing list.
     
    To travel is to take a journey into yourself. | Danny Kaye
     
    Travel acts as a truth serum. I recommend travel as a tangible inquisition into the depths of your soul. There is nothing like travel to accentuate your buried strengths, expose your slight deficiencies and shine a bright light on the unique magic that you bring into the world.
     
    As I am sitting here, writing, my love is next to me, planning out the places we might go from Borneo to Myanmar to Vietnam and everywhere in between. In 3 days we will embark on the greatest adventure of our relationship: 6 months in unchartered parts of South East Asia. He’s the planner in our relationship, while I prefer to arrive, and see which way the winds blow me, so I nod and smile, as he points out places we absolutely must visit.
     
    While I’m an expert at solo-wanders, traveling in a couple is a whole new world for me. I confess I am equally exhilarated and intrigued. This journey will be an adventure unlike any other.
     
    Every week I receive many enthusiastic emails from gorgeous readers wondering things like…
     
    “I want to travel the world with my work. How can I do it?”
    “I’m about to leave on an indefinite world-wide trip. What do I pack?”
    “What are my absolute must-have essentials for travels?”
    “Have I missed anything? I’m scared and leaving tomorrow!”
     
    Etc, etc, etc.
     
    These are the best questions to receive in my email, because if you’re as enthusiastic about travel as I am, then we are bound to be friends. After 13 years of on-going indefinite travel plans I’ve got a pretty clear idea of what is required and included.
     
    So I have put together my non-negotiable travel essentials and packing list, for anyone taking their life (and work) on the road for an indefinite period of time. Things like: visas, banking, portable office, emotional and health precautions and what (and what not) to pack. I hope this gives you the confidence to fill your rucksack and take a leap into the atlas, to re-acquaint yourself with the depths of your soul.
     
    Enjoy!
     
    Booking flights.
     
    (Almost) every journey begins with a flight. I keep flight searches simple. I start by going to Google Flights to get a first impression of dates and costs. Often (more often than not) I find the flight I want there, but sometimes I like to check in other places like Momondo and Skyscanner, just to compare. When I find a flight I like, I’ll also check with the airline directly, to see if they have any specials or better deals, which is often the case. I tend to book my flights a few weeks out even though that’s not necessarily the most cost-effective route, simply because my life changes so often and so quickly, that in the end it works out better, as I save in flight change fees.
     
    Hot tip: Mondays and Tuesdays tend to be the cheapest days to fly.
     
     
    Emotional preparations.
     
    The emotional rollercoaster that escorts travel, especially the kind that is unplanned and open-ended, the kind that leads to adventure and spirited inner growth, often arrives unannounced and in the most unexpected ways. There are family members to console, who think you are leaving them (no matter how often you tell them you love them forever); friends who are terrified you will change (and you will); and your own fears and anxieties to quell. Remember that these emotions are part of the experience, and choose to find your zen throughout it all by practicing patience, compassion, openness, courage and acceptance.
     
    Hot tip: 3 days before your departure, you will likely encounter “the freak-out”. It includes completely questioning your plans, feeling that you are absolutely not ready, and wanting to cancel everything. This is normal. Breathe through it. The moment you step onto that plane all this tension will dissolve and will be replaced by heartfelt excitement and joy.
     
     
    Travel insurance, banking and visas.
     
    I always get travel insurance through World Nomads. They are simply the most competitive and best that I have found. I try to have $100 USD in a hidden pocket, just in case of emergencies, and beyond that, pull out local currency in lots of $400 or $500 (depending on what the maximum of the ATM is) when I arrive. It tends to be the cheapest and simplest way that I have found. In first world countries like Europe, the UK, North America, Australia and NZ, I open up accounts so I can transfer money from my PayPal account into them without having currency costs and fees to deal with. I always work and travel on tourist visas. It’s easy, inexpensive and hassle free. Except for in Europe because I was born there, and Australia because I’m a permanent resident there.
     
    Hot tip: If you have a freelance or online business like I do, talk to your accountant about how to make your travels work for you. All my travels are tax-deductible for me, because they are part of my “education business”. I pay taxes every year in Australia, because that’s where my business is registered, but my accountant is awesome, and I’ve not literally had to pay anything, yet.
     
     
    Places to stay.
     
    The next thing you will want to organise is where to stay. I like to reach out to my global online community first and foremost, to see who is out there, in the places I am going. Sometimes they have a spare room to rent, or recommendations or friends I can stay with, which is awesome. I love connecting and staying with real people, rather than outsourcing places to stay. Second to that, I also like to use AirBnB, Booking.com and WorkAway, as options and solutions.
     
    Hot tip: WorkAway is different, as it allows you to exchange your time for food and accommodation, and give you really authentic experience, plus covering your basic expenses, as you learn about the new culture you are exploring. This is perfect for slow travels, especially for those still growing their business, and wanting to save some money while giving back to the local community.
     
     
    Portable office.
     
    I’m a fan of sweet and simple. My entire portable office includes: My Filofax, Mac Air laptop, Olympus Pen 1 camera and an assorted ziplock bag of pens. Everything else is organised digitally, some of which I outline in my Love List. I pack it all into my small canvas duffel bag which goes with me practical everywhere, so I can stop and work whenever and wherever I go.
     
    Hot tip: Create systems and processes that mean you don’t have to print anything. Printing on paper kills trees and is a serious waste.
     
     
    Packing essentials.
     
    Unless you’re going to Australia or New Zealand everything you could possibly want or need is going to be cheaper at your destination. Which means that I recommend not buying anything extra for your trip, using what you have, and buying what you need upon arrival. This goes for: electronics, beauty and personal products, clothes and so on. Literally everything.
     
    Beauty: I keep it simple. I use Dr. Bronner’s Sandalwood and Jasmine liquid soup; virgin coconut oil for my body (and face as a makeup removes and even moisturizer sometimes); Sukin Restoring Night Cream, Kiehl’s Skin Tone Correcting BB Cream + Sunscreen in Medium; Buxom Lash Mascara in Black; a no-brand black kohl eyeliner and a liquid eyeliner I picked up somewhere along the way for sultry nights; an eyebrow power kit I bought in a supermarket once and a cherry lip and cheek tint by Glory Boon. I usually get all the important places waxed, but always have a razor and tweezers handy for emergencies, and carry around loofah gloves because sometimes you just need a good scrubbing.
     
    Health: I travel with Spirulina powder; Magnesium tablets; and Melatonin to help with relaxation and adjusting to time zones quickly and easily.
     
    Clothes: Since my travels are always open-ended, and I never know what seasons I will encounter, I always, always pack clothes that can carry me from hot, sweltering summers (my personal preference) to mild winter, and will purchase any additional clothes and jackets that I might require upon arrival. In an attempt to give you an idea what that looks like, I am spilling the current contents of my bag.
     

    For cooler weather: 3 pairs of jeans; 2 warm weather dresses; 3 knitted sweaters; 2 long-sleeved tops; 1 hooded sweater; 1 flannel; 1 leather jacket; and a scarf that doubles as a blanket on cold flights and bus rides. These are all optimal layering clothes where almost everything can work together in some way.

    For warmer weather: 2 pairs of denim shorts; 2 muscle t’s; 3 t-shirts, 2 playsuits; 6 dresses, 1 kimono, 1 light jacket.

    Everything else: 2 pairs of leggings that double as pyjamas / lounge-around-the-house clothes; a pair of yoga leggings; 4 bras; 1 sports bra; 9 pairs of panties; 3 sets of bikinis; 5 pairs of socks and my current favourite 5 rings, 2 necklaces and 1 pair of earrings.

    Footwear: 1 pair of ankle boots; 1 pair of runners; and 1 pair of leather sandals.

     
    Hot tip: When at tropical, warm beaches, go find a bit of beach with privacy, grab a handful of wet sand, and scrub your body with it. It feels amazing, and is the best natural exfoliation you could ask for, leaving your skin baby-soft, as soon as you dip into the water to wash it off. Nature is the best beautifier! (Don’t forget to follow it up with coconut oil when you get back to your abode.)
     
     
    Luggage: I absolutely adore and recommend using duffel roller bags. They’re easy to manage, can fit a surprising amount in them and are hardy. I’ve taken mine across the scariest borders and through glamorous hotels, and they stand the test of time, no matter what. I used to have one from Dakine that looked a bit like this, and now I have a Quicksilver one that’s similar to this.
     
    Hot tip: I like compartmentalising my bag so one area is filled with things that I rarely use (i.e. winter clothes during summer), and the other is one that I access often, so I don’t have to rummage around everything to find what I am looking for.
     
     
    Carry-on: My carry-on essentially doubles as my portable office. So it includes everything outlined above, plus some nuts to snack on in emergencies, my Brita filtered water bottle, my scarf / blanket in case I get cold, Yes to Cucumbers facial wipes, my Medicine Mama’s Bee Magic Wand for dry face, lips and skin from airport transfers and some essential lavender oil for relaxation and to rescue me from any surrounding stink.
     
    Hot tip: Keep your passport and important documents in your handbag or purse rather than your carry-on bag to keep them easy to access and always carry a pen. It will come handy when you least expect it, and will help you make friends.
     
     
    Healthy transit.
     
    This section could really have an article all of its own. I’m very sensitive to travel and my environment, and so I try to keep things as easy and stress-free as possible. I arrive at airports early, especially because I love prowling through the duty-free for unusual deals. I usually fast during flights, and just drink teas and lots of water, because flying messes with my stomach, and pack nuts to nibble on in case I can’t get a healthy meal upon landing. How much effect lasts in time, I had it for 12 hours, but for a pleasant evening in a couple of visits, I have enough. In the morning there is no trace of cork. Yes, another small secret: so that the face does not blush much, you can start taking the medicine in small portions. For example, a third, after 20 minutes a third and then another third. Then, as I noticed, the side effects described at https://summitps.org/buy-levitra-vardenafil-online/ (facial flushing and others) are not so pronounced. I take my makeup off, if I’m wearing any, before take-off to let my skin breathe, and spritz it with water and moisturize it during the flight to keep it hydrated because the airplanes suck everything out of you. And I take Melatonin during the flight to relax and sleep as much as possible.
     
    Hot tip: Staying hydrated is the kindest thing you can do for your body. Make sure you bring a big bottle with you, that you can fill up at the water stations in the airport (they all have them). The tiny cups they give you en route are simply not enough. 
     
     
    Older travel articles you might enjoy on this topic.
     
    I want to help people, and travel, and I don’t know how to start.
    Travel-hack your way into free first-class flights.
    The modern-day gypsies travel essentials guide.
    10 tips on keeping healthy while traveling.
    8 gypset travel tips for keeping it simple.
    The dark side of travel.