by Vienda | 8 Jan 2013 | Psychology + Soul
I notice that…
When I am thankful for all that fills and touches and colours my life, I have increasingly more to be thankful for. Gratitude begets sensual experiences, feelings and tactile things to be grateful for.
Gratitude is the art of noticing your life.
Of being aware of all the abundance that permeates your every day existence.
Having gratitude is a kind of attitude revolution. It is an incredibly powerful way to transform ourselves and our life experience from those things that we don’t want, to those things that we do. Thankfulness for what is already in our lives, for what we are already receiving, creates peace within. Instead of fighting against the things we don’t want we are opening yourself up to the things we do want.
To change our life experience we have to change our habits. To make peace with life we must make peace with ourselves. Change takes time. And change comes about from repetition until it is natural.
We are consistently noticing our lives, interpreting them, discussing them, evaluating them and basing our choices on previous experiences of them.
What would happen if we changed our focus from noticing what is wrong in our lives, to that which is so very right?
When we begin noticing and focusing on what we are loving, what makes us happy, what makes us feel good and the things we are thankful for, we feel fuller, more abundant, healthier, happier, luckier and more satisfied by life.
This simple act transforms our story, the belief we have of ourselves and our lives and thereby also transforms our futures.
In a gentle way, find your own gratitude practise. Incorporate it into your everyday life and do it for 30 days. Watch what happens. (*I like to do it in bed. Just before I go to sleep and just after I awake. And on aeroplanes and trains. And at meals. Any time I go to the beach and get to swim in a sea or ocean. Or when I’m walking home alone late at night). Notice how life transforms before you and fills you with abundance.
by Vienda | 28 Feb 2012 | Psychology + Soul
We are witnessing an uprising; in consciousness; in the way we do things; in the choices we make. We are awakening from a slumber of unconsciousness and becoming aware that we are responsible for every aspect of our lives, our selves, our communities, our world. We are recognising that we are one and everything we do, say and think matters.
As we awaken to what we we really want for ourselves, for each other and our communal lives, and then compare it against what we have seen happening. The wars, the violence, the cruelty, the hunger, the lack of love, of resources, the greed, the hurt, we also realise that we all must heal. And to heal with love, with compassion and with sincerity.
There has to be a revolution. But it has to be a revolution of consciousness.
It’s all becoming so much more real. The old value systems from the past no longer support us. We all want to be well and happy and loved and to share that with others rather than cut ourselves off and try to get the largest piece of the pie, when there’s actually plenty of pie for everyone. We need to learn what true wealth is.
We have become so secular, so insular and departed from the true nature of ourselves and what drives us, that we need to relearn how to feel, how to be present and fully experience life as it comes, moment to moment. No longer allowing our minds to strain from one craving to the next but being wholly, fully appreciative of where we find ourselves right now and knowing that this is exactly where we are meant to be.
It is in our minds that we create our worlds. What we believe is true for us.
And with this recognition of our own responsibility, the frailty of life and the importance that we all step forward and change NOW we point to ourselves and say “I am.”
“I am responsible for the quality of my life, my happiness, the strength of my relationships, and the environment in which I live. I empower myself to surface my values and personal passions, and to live in alignment with them. I choose to build the world I want to live in, starting with becoming the kind of person I would imagine myself to be in that world.“
This is what we are doing. It is a transformation of consciousness, that then radiates out into others and becomes reality.
It takes action; growth; self realisation. It takes commitment to yourself and your life. It means facing yourself, being honest, truly honest, vulnerable, and looking beyond the surface. This can be a very confronting process as we have all learnt to placate ourselves with fairly superficial attributions yet our souls yearn and hunger for more.
Here is our opportunity to live more simply, with more beauty and grace, to connect deeply with ourselves and each other and create the world that we really want for ourselves, for each other and for our children. We are delighting in the discovery that we can create the life experience of our dreams….. one thought, one forgiveness, one opening up to others, one step at a time.
Viva la revolution. This is our world. We get to create it.
What do you want for your world?
Image source 1 and 2.
by Vienda | 7 Feb 2012 | Travel + Freedom
Feelings are magnetic. So it goes that if you generate certain feelings — and you have the power to create any feeling you desire — then you increase the power of your emotional magnetism. But we need to limber up, loosen the images and adjectives encrusted on our goals and most-desired states. It helps to get poetic, lyrical, and abstract. Go there with me and Danielle LaPorte.
I want my day to feel like the rolling perfect waves of the ocean.
I want kissing to feel like the sweet seducing taste of a juicy peach.
I want my next success to feel like it breaks open my heart and overflows like a sparkly confetti party.
I want my body to hum as if all parts are in perfect harmony.
I want smiling to feel like shooting stars and wishes and apple pie.
I want my friendships to feel like walking across bridges for sumptuous picnics.
I want my nervous system to feel soft and safe and comforted.
I want my gigs to feel like psychedelic carnivals of wholeheartedness.
I want my neighbourhood to feel like fairy floss.
I want my integrity to feel so sweet and real and raw it surprises everyone.
I want my money-making to feel like the rain, easy, gentle, soft and fun.
I want my word to feel like an enchantment and a realisation at once.
I want my laughter to feel like the trickling and tinkling of happiness.
I want the end of the day to feel gentle and loving and sleepy and satisfied.
I want being of service to feel like rainbows taking people to their pot of gold.
I want my philanthropy to feel like turning puddles into fluffy clouds.
I want my challenges to feel like surfing with full awareness and instantaneous reaction.
I want my love to feel like sunshine and unity and sweet endearing contentment.
I want my writing to feel like poetry sung from the lips of shakespearean cherubs.
I want my ideas to feel like an unexpected gift that grows.
Image: my own.
by Vienda | 31 Jan 2012 | Love + Relationships
Every now and then I like to share a bit of a list-making frenzy with you. Actually, making lists is not my forte however today I am compelled to do so. I’ve decided that this year is the year it’s all happening and according to positive psychology and quantum physics the best way to make your dreams come true is to state them. Out loud. Publicy. And tell people. Make it real in your head. So here we go:
- Remember to breathe.
- Bake. For my friends. I love to bake and haven’t done so for hmmm… at least a year now. I want to make decadent, delicious cakes and cookies for the people I love.
- Tune into presence. All the time. Sit in my sweet spot and trust.
- Finish stitching, beading and creating the leather handbag I started making in London in 2008.
- Read more books than last year….
Go to L’etoile in Paddington. TICK! Thank you Allen for this one …. you are an angel.- Eat less sugar. I’ve fallen off the sugar-free wagon a little since Christmas and I need to get back on it. I feel so much better when I’m not consuming sugar.
- Spend a weekend in Melbourne.
- Go to Burning Man in late August.
- Spend a month in New York.
- Travel through South America from the bottom up ending my journey at the Rainbow Gathering in Guatemala in December.
- Write an e-book/ course.
- Write at least two guest posts per month. (So far so good, I’ve had one published this month with another scheduled coming up)
- Meet the most fascinating, inspirational people that I have ever encountered.
- Be a better friend. (Sometimes I am terrible at keeping in touch and showing how much I care …. I want to do so more.)
- Get clear on what is important in my life and welcome people who share the same values.
- Fall in love.
- Go gently. Don’t be so hard on myself.
- Practise the art of allowing.
- Life harmony is not the same as life balance. I don’t have to have all the balls in the air at the same time.
- Listen more slowly.
- Tell more stories.
- Write to my grandparents at least once a month. I know it means so much to them.
- Sell all the designer clothes that I never wear. And spend the money on something I really, really love!
- Commandeer an iPad.
- Go to Officeworks and stock up on notepads. My collection of scribbled on papers scattered across my room is starting to move from charming chaos to enigmatic mess.
- Manage my time a little more efficiently. (Plan without planning – if that’s at all possible! The trouble is, my nature rejects schedules and plans … I kind of have to trick myself with this one!)
- Break up with social media. “It’s not you – it’s me! Let’s just be friends and hang out sometimes, rather than spending every single minute together! (You’re suffocating me!)“
- Over the winter, watch all the films that I keep getting recommended and never see. I think this one needs a list. Any movie-buff-list-makers out there who want to help? Email me!
- Perfect the back-walker. I can go back. But I can’t seem to quite kick over yet. Soon.
- Get over my body image issues once and for all. Gulp. This one is scary. (Let’s practice a little radical self-love shall we!)
- Stretch myself. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. Try new things.
- Be more compassionate and understanding. We are all humans after all.
- Host a dinner party. Complete with fairy lights and candles and live music and chocolate gateau.
- Learn about wine.
- Organically, gracefully and easily develop my business so it flourishes and is successful on all levels.
- Allow lots of space for the unexpected.
- Slow down.
- Play with children, more than I have been.
- Kiss a man with a moustache. Just for the experience.
- Relax. Allow my body to fully relax.
- Let go. Of control. Of knowing the outcome. Of expectations. Everything. I’m quite good with this but imagine how amazing life would be if I completely let go of trying to control it. If just showed up, did my part, shared my sparkle and let what ever may happen, happen. Wow! Just the idea blows my mind.
- Go to Tetsuya’s in the city.
- Ride the rides at Luna Park with my sister and take loads of photos of our silliness.
- Make green smoothies. I know they’re good for me. I even like them. But I’m just not making them.
- Remember not to take life too seriously.
- Practise my Spanish.
- Write a loooong letter to my mama about everything. She doesn’t know me at all. Maybe she never will but I can try!
- Make peace with my ex. I really hope he speaks to me again one day and we can be friends. I guess breaking someones heart makes them not want to talk to you anymore.
- Enjoy each moment as it comes. Feel the width and the breadth of it. Taste it. Smell it. Be in it.
- Figure out how I can monetize my talents. Seek out someone practical who can help me. I need a second brain for this. Ammm so …. anyone?
- Buy socks.
- Write every single one of my friends a love letter and send it via post. With stamps and everything. Amazing!
- Print this insane listomania out and put it somewhere I can see it so I actually remember to do all these things.
- Figure out how to use all of my flying points with different airlines and hotels to the best of my advantage. I have no idea and it’s all so confusing. I need help from someone who is good with numbers and details. Both things that I detest. (I’m one of those people who still uses their fingers to count. Yes. I know.)
- Go for a long weekend away to Byron Bay.
- Convince my landlady to put me on a rolling lease. I really hate stiff contracts. They make me feel uneasy. It’s like clipping my wings.
- Go to a sex toy shop with my sister and check out the goods without acting like a demented teenager. Really. I shouldn’t be embarrassed about these things anymore.
- Create the MOST AMAZING COSTUME EVER for Secret Garden festival in March. With face paint, warrior-fairy style. And a leopard print kimono.
- Be still. Allow more stillness into my life.
- Spend my money more consciously. Don’t buy crap. Buy beautiful things that last a long time. And less of them. Spend my money on things I really value. (I can be a tad frivolous at times!)
- Don’t think too much.
- Don’t think about what other people might think. It really doesn’t matter.
- Have fun. All the time. (I do this anyway but there’s no harm in reminding myself.)
- Go on an exclamation mark detox!!!!! They seem to creep into everything I right far more than is appropriate.
- Proof read my writing a bit more before I publish. Euch! It’s that whole attention to detail thing! I hate it.
- Have at least one afternoon/evening totally to myself per week. I need time alone to recharge.
- Discover new intricacies about the people I call my friends. I love exploring the people in my life.
- Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Don’t be afraid to fail. Move through and past those fears. Do it and see what happens. Either way it’s a wonderful learning experience.
- Convince my employers to gift me with a new iPhone. Because I deserve it.
- Go through my inbox and file and tidy and organise the 1000’s of emails that are making life a little convoluted.
- Practise gratitude the moment my mind wanders into a realm of complaint. And any other time. It works so good and makes life amazing.
- Communicate my feelings and thoughts more clearly. Face to face. In spoken words.
- Cry if I feel like it. Things sometimes are worth crying over. Give myself the permission to feel my emotions and then get over it. I tend to skip straight to the get-over-it part. The feeling part is important too.
- Take the time to sit down and write more. Often I write while also doing 20 other things at the same time. Little inspirations come to my mind and I jot them down; my mornings often involve me bouncing between the bathroom and the notebook on my bed. Perhaps if I took the time to sit down with them I could take it a little deeper. The again if I wait to write when I have time, the thoughts may have already passed. It’s like trying to capture a cheeky pixie. Very slippery.
- Hold his hand. ‘Cause I like it. I’m obligation free. It’s just a gesture of affection.
- Don’t cut my hair. At all. Not even once this year. Just to experiment and see what happens.
- Make a dream catcher from dried vines, wool, shells and semiprecious stones and feathers I have collected over the past 10 years of my travels.
- Allow myself to move from super groomed to a little more wild again. I’m tired of the common “Sydney” look. I’m breaking free.
- Have a really beautiful dinner with my dearest friends for my birthday. Complete with sparklers and birthday cake and lots of wine.
- Learn how to dance with a man.
- Do something really super romantic and wonderful at least once a month.
- Fly a kite.
- Go sailing or on some kind of boat trip. Cause I love it.
- Have more real, deep and meaningful conversations. I hate small talk and mostly I just move away from it. Perhaps if I could engage people to communicate a little deeper I could stay in the conversations for longer.
- Be more accepting of others. I’m an idealist. A philosopher. A dreamer. I expect everyone else to be this way too. But I realise they’re not. And that’s ok.
- Have patience. With life. With outcomes. With myself. With others. Things often just need time.
- Host a Mad Hatters Tea Party. We can all be Alice. I’ll try to find some magic mushrooms.
- Define exactly what I want my life to look and feel like. Get clear on it. Write it out and go live life on my own terms. Use my imagination and then go beyond even that. High aspirations. No expectations.
- Tell all the people I admire, how and why I admire them. They inspire me and deserve to know so.
- Go on lots of picnics.
- Stop checking Google Analytics stats quite so much, my monthly excel spreadsheet is truly quite sufficient. Focus on what’s actually important instead. (Building an Empire of Revolutionary Love).
- Write down my dreams as soon as I awake. Something magical might come out of them.
- Learn how to make chocolate soufflé.
- Write a gig review. Just to try it out and see if I can do it. It seems daunting and intimidating but I go to so many festivals and music gigs, it’s certainly a valuable skill I could develop.
- Experiment. With everything.
- Go on a road trip without a destination in mind. Discover new and wonderful places.
- Hula hoop lots more and learn some really cool tricks I can show off at parties. (Perhaps buy a hula hoop so I can do this).
- Read every single Dr Seuss book ever written.
- Make at least one video blog aka vlog for viendamaria.com this year. Get help with the post-production so it looks AMAZING!
- Go to Confest at Easter and present some workshops ….. on topics not yet decided.
- Do a flash-mob-dance-off.
- Stay awake all night and watch the sunrise at the beach. And then skinny dip in the ocean.
- Minimise my collection of belongings. Do I really need all those books and things? Less is more I say.
- Burn my journals and notebooks from the past 10 years (after I’ve copied out all the juicy stuff).
- Blow bubbles in the park and play with glitter and take photos of these little moments of joy and amusement.
- Create a photo album of my life for my family.
- Sell all the 100’s of pieces of jewellery that I have collected to sell from my travels over the past few years.
- Wear more accessories. Aiming to look like a pirate crossed with a nymph.
- Expand my music collection. Open my ears to new and wonderful sounds. Try out something new.
- Go for walks along the beach in the winter, even when it’s cold.
- Trust in the process of life. It is truly very amazing and magical, even when my mind tries to conjure up ridiculous ideas of defeat.
Tell me. Do you share any of these? What dreams are you going to fulfil this year?
Image source.
by Vienda | 27 Dec 2011 | Psychology + Soul
To complete the “what I know for sure” series I am starting today on a slightly different note. The last two posts here and here have lead us to this significant point: the concept that life is a journey….and that this very journey is the destination. There is no future focal point. This, right now, here, is it.
You and I, we are evolving every single day. In every moment, every decision, every thought. We fuck up. Sometimes big. Sometimes small. And that’s ok.
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist. That is all.” – Oscar Wilde
And then there are some things that you and and I, we just know for sure. Even if only subconsciously at this moment. They are the simple life philosophies that makes life better, sweeter and worthwhile.
STILLNESS: At the centre of every single human being is a deep expansive well of stillness. It is our ethereal connection to all that is. Within this stillness lies our inner peace and wisdom. We all have access to this part of ourselves. We just have to remember to connect to it. And there are many ways to do so. Figure out what works for you.
Stay connected with your inner source. This brings peace, contentment and unwavering stability. Things don’t matter as much and life can flow cause your not getting all involved and in its face.
Move your attention from your thoughts to your body … to the sweet spot in your centre…from thinking to feeling….
SPACE: From the stillness comes a new-found sense of space. A gentle, warm and luxuriant buffer zone between the purest part of ourselves and out thoughts, experiences and mental bedlam. When we sit within our stillness the space appears and expands…… and then fills with joy and love.
LOVE: This is the best word used to describe the sensation we have when experiencing our own awareness and life-force or energy. Eckhart Tolle calls it “being the observer”. When we are connected we become receptive of what BEING FEELS like…. It feels like love. Like being IN LOVE. But not with someone or something. This sensation fills you up and then overflows into forgiveness and compassion for yourself and others.
Forgiveness allows all hurts and wounds to heal. You don’t need to be carrying that stuff with you any longer.
“You aren’t given the people that you want, you are given the people that you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you the person you were meant to be.“ – Unknown
PRESENCE: When you are fully engaged in the moment and at the same time connected with your inner stillness you are practicing presence. Try it, it is ecstasy.
“I don’t want to get to the end of my life and find that I just lived the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.” – Diane Ackerman
ACCEPTANCE: Being fully present leaves little room for latent thoughts to permeate, meaning all you have is acceptance of what is, right now. Acceptance arrives in the form of non-resistance. Embracing life however it shows up for you in this very moment is powerfully relieving. It’s the trust that life will always work out the best for you and releasing the need to make things happen. No forcing, pushing or pulling. Just allowing.
It means letting go of concepts such as judging things, people or situations to be good or bad. The contrasts that we experience in life simply give it flavour and colour and allow us to discern our preferences in life.
Acceptance also means recognising that everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t understand it yet.
You don’t have to know everything. Get comfortable with uncertainty….it’s a very safe place to be.
“I don’t mind what happens.” – Krishnamurti
MINDFULNESS: Our thoughts and beliefs create our reality. Even though we can move our attention away from out chatter-box minds by connecting with stillness, we can’t stop thinking. So we might as well think thoughts that support us. Mindfulness means being aware of our thought patterns and changing them accordingly if they are out of line of what you really want in life.
“Outside of this moment I pretty much have no idea what might happen… I have some ideas, some plans perhaps but nothing is set in stone. I let life surprise me because I realise that it is so much wiser than my mind can ever be. All my mind can do is recreate what it already knows. If I give space to that what I don’t know, something amazing and magical will happen.” – Vienda Maria
Image source.
