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Tag: spirituality

become a creator
8/8 — the eighth rule of her way club (aka: how to change your life in 6-12 months)

NOV 11, 2025

The final of our 8 rules of her way club series. If you’re just joining, begin here:

1/8 — deciding to play by your own rules
2/8 — subtracting what doesn’t belong
3/8 — the natural consequence: uncertainty
interlude — her way deep rest
4/8 — trust yourself
5/8 — inner life
6/8 — outer life
7/8 — life design
8/8 — creator

walking through the streets on errands yesterday

Yellow-gold leaves fall like snow outside my window, drifting in gentle spirals before surrendering to the earth. Nature is shifting from outward display to inward repair, from the urgency of life to the humility of dying. Inside my body, a similar transition is underway. The lining of my womb is dissolving, shedding, releasing itself through me. There is a tenderness in this inner autumn; a sense of being thinned out, emptied, more bone than blossom.

On days like this, I feel less like a creator and more like those leaves outside: untethered, weightless, caught in forces larger than myself. Creation feels distant, like a memory it has temporarily forgotten.

And yet… I know this perception is only half the truth. Because in the very same moment that life inside me is breaking down, life is also preparing to renew. What looks like loss is, in fact, nature reorganising itself. What feels like death is the unspoken prelude to emergence.

This is the essential paradox of existence: two opposing truths held in one body, one moment, one heart. We are both the falling leaf and the seed beneath the soil. We are endings and beginnings, decay and future possibility, all at once. Maturity, real maturity, is learning to live inside that tension without collapsing into either. To honour the ache, and yet trust the regeneration.

If you are anything like me — porous, perceptive, shaped by instinct and feeling — you have likely sensed a similar shedding on a global scale. Something in the ‘old world,’ the one many of us were taught to obey, is splitting at its seams. Systems that once seemed stable now reveal their fragility. Ideals we inherited are dissolving, and the scaffolding of what we were told to trust is quietly shaking itself apart.

Which is why choosing to become a creator is so imperative right now. What is really happening is that humanity is quietly rearranging its resources. And you are a vital part of that.

I don’t believe this is a collapse. I believe it is a rearrangement. A redistribution of attention, energy, power, possibility. Humanity is composting its outdated structures and beliefs, and whether you feel ready or not, you are part of that metamorphosis.

Which is why choosing to become a creator: not merely a consumer, observer, or critic, is not optional anymore. It is essential.

Creation is a way of relating to life. A discipline of perception. A willingness to meet the world as an active participant rather than a passive witness. To create is to engage: with your thoughts, your desires, your environment, your body.

Every choice you make, every emotion you metabolise rather than outsource, every space you shape, every idea you dare to hold… these are acts of creation. Quiet ones, often unseen, but foundational.

By this point in this 8-part series, you have already stripped away the noise. You have practised discernment. You have learned what no longer deserves your time, your energy, your belief. You have strengthened the inner ground that makes outer integrity possible. All of that was preparation for this final threshold: stepping into your life as a creator.

Creation is not linear. It is cyclical, like the body, like the seasons, like breath itself. To create is to stay in conversation with who you are, who you are becoming, and the mystery that moves through and beyond both. You are never shaping your life alone. You are co-crafting it with uncertainty, with intuition, with timing, with forces that are ancient and wise and not always rational.

Real creation asks something intimate and courageous of you: coherence.

The willingness to bring your inner life into alignment with your outer actions. The bravery to trust what you feel before you have proof. The devotion to act even when the path ahead remains partly obscured. Creation is less about control and more about participation. A dance between intention and surrender, vision and mystery, action and grace.

We do not create because we are certain. We create because it is the only honest response to being alive.

Being a creator begins with your personal ideal lifestyle. This is the first lens through which all your choices, projects, and decisions must pass. By now, you have an inkling of what that looks and feels like.

It is not just a set of routines; it is the container that supports your creativity, your energy, your relationships, and your work. It is a framework for how you move through your days and weeks, a blueprint for how you honour your body, your mind, and your desires. Before you make a decision that could impact your future, you consult with your ideal lifestyle. You ask yourself, “Does this align with the life I want to live? Does this support my growth, my energy, my joy?”

Creation also requires radical responsibility. This is the part that most people resist. It is easier to blame circumstances, wait for permission, or hope that someone else will shape your life for you. But creators know that the only power they can fully claim is their own. You take responsibility for your mind, your body, and your environment. You choose your thoughts, you manage your energy, and you shape the spaces you inhabit. And you do it continuously, intentionally, with courage and curiosity.

not linear at all…

The path of a creator is not linear.

You will encounter problems. Infinite problems. But every problem is soluble, and each is an opportunity. Problems are the curriculum of your life. Solve the problem in front of you. Learn. Grow. Share your solution with others. Repeat. Life becomes an ongoing laboratory where progress and contribution converge. Happiness is a byproduct of solving meaningful problems. Joy arises when your skills meet a challenge, and your work serves something greater than yourself.

Humans are tool builders. From the moment we learned to make fire, to the invention of the wheel, to the creation of the internet, we have transformed our environment through creativity. It is our most fundamental skill. And yet so many people never take the time to recognise that this skill extends to the life they live.

Becoming a creator is central to a good life, because it is through creation that you experience progress, purpose, and contribution. Every time you solve a problem for yourself or for others, you grow stronger, wiser, and more capable of tackling increasingly complex challenges.

Being a creator is both intensely practical and deeply spiritual. You take the reins of your life, but you also recognise the presence of forces larger than yourself. There is a mystery, a flow, a life energy that cannot be forced, only leaned into. Creation is the dance of holding on and letting go. You set the stage, cultivate your resources, and take action, but you allow life to meet you halfway. There is grace in that surrender, and strength in that presence.

To make this tangible, here is how I recommend stepping into creation:
1. Start with lifestyle. Map out your ideal day, week, and month. Where do you want to spend your time? How do you want to feel? What relationships, work, and activities support that vision? Compare this to your current reality, and identify the gaps. Every adjustment, no matter how small, is a creative act.
2. Shift your mind. Begin noticing the stories you tell yourself, the patterns that hold you back, and the beliefs that no longer serve you. Replace them with curiosity, experimentation, and a commitment to problem-solving.
3. Take care of your body. Energy is the currency of creation. What you eat, how you move, how you rest—all of it matters. Creation requires vitality, not just motivation.
4. Curate your environment. Your spaces influence your thinking and your actions. Choose surroundings, tools, and people that elevate you. Remove what drains you. Design an environment that reflects your values, your rhythm, and your vision.
5. Solve a problem, share a solution. Pick one thing that matters to you. Identify the problem, create a solution, and release it into the world. Repeat. This is the engine of creation, and the path toward impact and independence.
6. Seek support where it accelerates growth. Courses, mentorship, and community do not replace your agency; they amplify it. They allow you to shortcut the trial and error, integrate ideas faster, and find others walking parallel paths. They are accelerators, not crutches.
Creation is not about perfection. It is about alignment. It is about being awake, aware, and active in the process of building a life that is yours. It is a practice of presence, of integrity, and of courage. And it is infinitely rewarding, because each problem you solve, each solution you share, and each step you take toward your vision is a step into freedom, joy, and mastery.

The time is now. The stakes are everything. Your life is waiting, ready to be shaped by your choices, your attention, and your care. This is where being a creator begins.

You don’t need to join a community, take a course, or seek mentorship to get where you are going. You could do it alone: slowly, quietly, piecing yourself together through trial and intuition. Many people do, and there is nothing wrong with that path. But in my lived experience, support doesn’t replace your power; it accelerates your evolution. It adds oxygen, perspective, and momentum to the fire you are already tending.

We resist guidance not because we don’t value growth, but because it requires effort to integrate, to act, to change. Transformation asks something of us. It isn’t passive. It doesn’t happen from thinking alone. The discomfort people feel around learning containers is rarely about the container. It is about the part of us that fears our own expansion. Because to grow is to become responsible for a bigger life.

Yet community, mentorship, education… these are some of the most life-altering investments we can make. Information becomes embodiment. Insight becomes behaviour. Aspiration becomes lived reality. We pay for accelerated becoming.

I was reminded of this in a way I didn’t ask for. If you’ve been here with me through this past year, you know I walked through the most painful and disorienting breakup and rapid change of circumstances in my life. A rupture that rearranged my world from the inside out. I trusted I would heal — I always do — but I also knew I wasn’t willing to drag the grief behind me for months. So I found help. I chose support in devotion to my future self.

With the right guidance, what could have taken a year unfolded in four months; not rushed, not bypassed, but metabolised with clarity, compassion, and pace. That experience crystallised a truth I already knew in my bones: life moves faster, more gracefully, when you allow yourself to be supported.

We are entering a new era. One where creators are not just artists or entrepreneurs, but the sense-makers, the bridges, the ones translating chaos into meaning and possibility. In a world that is shedding old structures and outdated authority, people look not to static systems, but to humans they trust: those a few steps ahead, living what they teach, offering perspective, skills, and orientation in real time. It’s about resonance and proximity to truth.

If you feel the pull to build these capacities — to become someone who can shape meaning, lead yourself, create value, and root deeply into your vision — I share resources, pathways, and invitations. High-value skills. Creative confidence. Nervous system leadership. The inner and outer muscles of a self-directed life.

You don’t have to walk into the next season alone. You can; you are fully capable. But you don’t have to. And there is a particular magic in choosing support not because you are collapsing, but because you are rising.

For those ready to step into your next iteration, in Her Way Club, I offer pathways to accelerate your becoming:

Her Way Club Community — $33/month
A gentle container to practice habits, stay connected to your vision, and build momentum through small, meaningful steps alongside women walking a similar path.

CLEAR — special opening price $150; increasing to $200
A practical and self-honest process for identifying the patterns, beliefs, and behaviours that are holding you back, and shifting into a more aligned, empowered way of moving through the world.

Practical Dreamer — $1,800
A two-month mentorship for women ready to turn their ideas into tangible expression. This is where vision meets structure, where dreams become plans, and where you build confidence through real progress and accountability.

1:1 Business Mentoring — starting at $1,250
For the woman ready to build a values-led, creatively fulfilling, financially aligned business — one that honours her rhythm, her expertise, and her deepest calling. This is intimate, strategic support to craft offers, refine messaging, and build a business that feels like you.

Ongoing Private Mentorship — by application, enquire within
For those who desire close support as they evolve, create, and lead in alignment with who they truly are. This is a private, personalised journey where we go deep, build steadily, and expand your life, your work, and your inner world together.

Becoming a creator is a lifelong journey, but the first step is conscious action. You have everything you need to begin, and every problem you face is part of your curriculum. Show up, experiment, share, and trust yourself. Your life is your creation, and the world is waiting to receive it.
November 11, 2025
outer life
6/8 — the sixth rule of her way club (aka: how to change your life in 6-12 months)

OCT 15, 2025

Continuing our 8 rules of her way club series. If you’re just joining, begin here:

1/8 — deciding to play by your own rules
2/8 — subtracting what doesn’t belong
3/8 — the natural consequence: uncertainty
interlude — her way deep rest
4/8 — trust yourself
5/8 — inner life
6/8 — outer life

Before we continue, 2 important things:
1. Next week, starting on Tuesday with the New Moon 🌚, I am gathering a small circle of writers and dreamers for six weeks of writing together for The Art of Noticing. I’d love you to join me. Doors close on Saturday at midnight. Join here.
2. Please continue completing this questionnaire. The competition ends at the end of this week. If you haven’t completed it yet (and you’d like the gift of working with me 1:1), please, do so here.
Life changes in an instant. The ordinary instant. You choose a new way to view your life, and suddenly it takes on an entirely new flavour and trajectory.

I remember the day that I decided to devote myself to living a life that is truly my own. I was living in Venice, just a couple of blocks back from the beach in Los Angeles. It was a sparkly late September afternoon, the sun in that part of the world a generous haze that fractures the light, scattering it in such a way that there are no shadows. I had just come home from a date with a curly-haired actor who lived in a garage and was delusionally committed to his acting career. If he can be so devoted to his dream, so can I, I decided.

My dream was not anchored in what my life would look like, but how it would feel.

I want a life that feels soul-led, heart-driven, alive, romantic, bohemian, and rich. I want a life that, if at any given moment it comes to an end, every moment of it was well-lived and full.

On that afternoon in Venice, I surrendered my motivation for curating a life that looks good on the outside for a devotion to one that feels good on the inside. And to allow my outer life to be a co-creation between me and a higher power based on my inner life and essence.

At first intentionally, and more recently, with a stronger desire to find my place, I have been moving between cities and countries, following the rhythm of my life and the quiet pull of my work. I don’t have a dedicated office or a desk that anchors me, but I have something far more powerful: a dedication to my expression and my work and as an extension of both, to my writing that exists in my mind, in my days, and in the life I’ve intentionally crafted.

On some mornings, I write in a sunlit café overlooking cobbled streets; on others, in a small apartment with the hum of a city below me. Sometimes, I’m sitting cross-legged on a patch of grass under a tree, letting my notes scatter into the wind. The space itself is secondary. What matters is the commitment, the devotion, and the intentionality I bring to it.

This is what outer life is really about: creating the conditions for your inner world to find expression.

The first five steps of this series built the internal architecture for this moment.

You’ve taken back your power, carved space for yourself, leaned into uncertainty, trusted your instincts, and begun tending your inner life. Now, all of that work begins to take shape. This is where the choices you make daily, deliberately, insistently, start to build a life that reflects your authentic self.

You must understand this: your outer life is a reflection of your inner life. The more intimately you know yourself, the more consciously you can build the world around you.

Outer life can be divided into three intertwined arenas: belonging, contribution, and life design. Each is a reflection of the inner work you’ve done. Each requires courage, curiosity, and clarity.

belonging

Belonging is one of the quietest, yet most vital parts of your outer life. It is about the subtle, soul-deep resonance that occurs when you are seen and reflected in ways that align with your inner self.

There is a paradox here: authentic connection requires both discernment and vulnerability. You must choose wisely, noticing who nourishes your essence and who depletes it, and yet you must remain open, willing to reveal your true self even when it feels risky.

I learned this while building my life across cities, coasting between cafés, shared apartments, and rented studios. Some friendships, no matter how long or familiar, feel heavy. They pull on my energy, asking for parts of me that I am no longer willing to give. Others, sometimes newly formed or unconventional, carried me and lifted me higher. Conversations sparked ideas, laughter became inspiration, collaboration became growth. I had to learn to notice the difference, to audit not only who was present in my life but how their presence made me feel in my body, mind, and spirit.

You started this practice in rule 2: subtraction. Take stock of the relationships you have: colleagues, friends, family, collaborators. Ask yourself, who energises me? Who inspires curiosity, excitement, and possibility? Who mirrors the essence you’ve begun cultivating through your inner work? Then notice the opposite: who consistently drains, frustrates, or diminishes your energy? The goal isn’t to cut everyone away or to judge harshly, but to become conscious of how your interactions affect your alignment.

Once you’ve mapped it, create space for the relationships that resonate and set gentle but firm boundaries with those that don’t. This could mean choosing to collaborate only with people who value your creative ambitions, or spending more time with friends who encourage risk-taking and experimentation rather than comfort and stagnation. It might mean letting go of obligations. Dinners, calls, or group chats that no longer serve your inner or outer growth.

In my own life, I’ve found immense freedom and clarity when I consciously chose to invest in friendships that fed my curiosity, supported my projects, and shared my love for a life that is deliberate and full.

Belonging, at its best, is about alignment. It is choosing to be seen and to see others who reflect your values, your energy, and your evolving essence. And paradoxically, when you practice discernment, when you allow yourself to step away from the relationships that weigh you down, you also become more open, more present, and more available to the connections that truly matter. This is where your inner life finds its reflection in the outer world.

contribution

Your contribution to the world is the vehicle through which your inner life can be expressed and give back to the world you live in by shaping it through your creations, thoughts, words and work.

Think of contribution as a state of mind.

High-agency individuals do not wait for instructions or validation. They notice a problem, a need, a desire, and move toward it, creating solutions that ripple outward. Low-agency individuals wait, follow, and defer. The difference is not titles or job descriptions; it is the inner decision to act, to trust your ideas, and to cultivate the skills that make those ideas real. Entrepreneurship, creative work, leadership, and artistry all function in this high-agency space. They require the courage to take risks, to fail, to experiment, and to use life itself as a laboratory for growth.

I’ve learned this through my own contributions in the world, by testing ideas that feel aligned with my essence. I have discovered that the work itself exposes the gaps in knowledge. It is in the doing that I learn what you don’t know and discover what only I can create.

Contribution occurs when: I give myself permission to start following a desire, pleasure, or an inspiration, before being ready.

To put this into practice, start with one project aligned with your inner life. It could be writing, a business idea, a piece of art… whatever resonates with you.

Set aside a notebook, a document, or a blank page. Brain-dump everything that comes to mind about the project: the goals, the feelings, the possibilities. Identify 3-5 sources of inspiration: people, books, practices, or models you admire. Study them. Break down what works, what excites you, and what you can adapt for your own path. Then outline your project in phases: the milestones, the skills you’ll need, the experiments you’ll try.

Most importantly, start immediately with what you know. Don’t wait to feel ready. Let the project teach you. Let it expose gaps, questions, and opportunities. Each day, complete 1-3 priority tasks that move you forward. Progress matters more than perfection. Over time, the work itself becomes the teacher, and your contribution becomes a living reflection of your inner life.

life design

There is a romantic impulse that lives in all of us. The longing for a life that feels as beautiful as it looks in our imagination. We dream of sunlit mornings, meaningful work, creative expression, and evenings that feel expansive and unhurried.

Dreaming is not enough. Romanticism must meet reality, and reality must be shaped intentionally to reflect your inner life. Life design is the art of building a world that aligns with your essence, day by day, hour by hour.

Your life is not a checklist to complete: it is a way of being to cultivate.

Your routines, your rhythms, your work, your rest, your play, all form the architecture of your lived experience. When your inner life is tended to, the outer life begins to mirror it, but only if you make it visible through deliberate choices.

Life design is about crafting that visibility.

Start with your day. Observe how you move from waking to sleeping, noticing where your energy flows, where it stagnates, and where you feel most alive. Map out routines that nourish and reflect your essence. Begin with your mornings: the way you wake, the rituals you practice, the tone you set for your day. Then structure your work blocks around your peak focus, creative bursts, and the tasks that move your projects forward. Schedule time for rest, play, and reflection as the infrastructure that sustains clarity, energy, and joy.

You will have to compromise old ways of being to bring in new ones. There are parts of you that will have to die. It may not be easy to start living the life you want to at first.

Treat your life as a project. Every week, plan, iterate, and course-correct. Some experiments will fail, some will illuminate hidden desires, and some will unlock surprising ease. Creating, making, curating spaces that feel alive, or testing new habits: each is an experiment in aligning your outer world with your inner truths.

The key is not perfection but responsiveness: noticing what works, what nourishes, and what elevates your capacity to live fully.

The ultimate aim of life design is coherence between your inner life and outer life. Your values, your priorities, your creative impulses, and your work all converge into a living, breathing system that serves your essence. When done well, life design allows your days, weeks, and years to feel intentional, expansive, and deeply satisfying.

Living a life that reflects your inner world asks you to take risks. Emotionally, creatively, financially. To fail forward, knowing that each misstep illuminates the next step. It asks you to romanticise your days, letting joy, curiosity, and pleasure lead the way, while simultaneously honouring the structures and boundaries that give those impulses space to flourish.

Have you ever been so absorbed in a book, a song, a painting, or a piece of writing that you were entirely pulled in, entranced by it? That feeling, that rush of energy and attention, is what Rick Rubin calls the ecstatic: a compass that arises in the moment. Your outer life works the same way.

Notice when fear, doubt, or external expectations are slowing you down. This is when the inner work you’ve done: the self-trust, the enthusiasm, the surrender, becomes your guide. It is your signal that you are moving in the right direction, that you are living in alignment, and that you are capable of generating a life that resonates with your essence.

Your inner landscape determines your outer reality. Clarity, boundaries, purpose, and energy are the tools of life design. Every choice you make, every connection you cultivate, every project you take on is a reflection of your inner world.

practice

Choose one project (personal, professional, or both). Identify three small but tangible steps to take this week to bring it into reality.

micro-vow

I will take one deliberate action this week to translate my inner alignment into my outer world. I trust my guidance and my ability to learn through action.

comment

What is one relationship, project, or habit you will align with your essence this week? Share below.
October 15, 2025
inner life
5/8 — the fifth rule of her way club (aka: how to change your life in 6-12 months)

OCT 10, 2025

Before we begin, 2 important things:
1. This fall/autumn, starting on October 21, with the next New Moon 🌚, I am gathering a small circle of writers, dreamers, and noticers for six weeks of writing together. It’s called The Art of Noticing. I’d love you to join me. Learn more here.
2. Thank you for completing the questionnaire I sent out last week! The responses are so valuable, interesting and beautiful. If you haven’t completed yours yet (and you’d like the gift of working with me 1:1), please, do so here.
Continuing our 8 rules of her way club series. If you’re just joining, begin here:

1/8 — deciding to play by your own rules
2/8 — subtracting what doesn’t belong
3/8 — the natural consequence: uncertainty
interlude — her way deep rest
4/8 — trust yourself
5/8 — inner life

Let’s zoom out for a moment and look at this her way club series, this living guide to “how to change your life” from the inside out, from the meta perspective.
1. Play by your own rules → agency + permission.
2. Subtract what doesn’t belong → space-making + integrity.
3. Embrace uncertainty → courage + surrender.
4. Trust yourself → embodiment of agency + intuition.
5. Inner life → alignment + authenticity
This chapter is about self-intimacy and alignment.

You’ve taken your power back. Now you have to learn how to use it well.

Each step so far has been designed to move you from external orientation to inner sovereignty. To peel back the noise and return you to your own truth.

Here, in Rule 5, the invisible becomes visible. Your inner world: your beliefs, your essence, your nourishment, begins to take shape in how you live. This is the bridge between the private self and the life that others see; between what you feel and what you create.

Everything that follows next: where you belong, the work you do and what you createin the world rests on this foundation.

Your outer world can only expand as far as your inner life allows. Prosperity, creativity, and fulfilment all flow from how well you tend to the unseen parts of yourself.

Let’s unpack this with some questions I’d like you to sit with, ponder, or journal on:
- Who are you when no one is watching?
- What are the themes that keep repeating in your life (your soul’s curriculum)?
- What qualities define your way of being (not what you do)?
Before we look outward, we must look inward.

Your authentic life begins with knowing yourself intimately, noticing how you show up in your life, and distinguishing your authentic essence from the patterns and conditioning you’ve absorbed.

This is where you learn what truly nourishes you, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually and cultivate the inner alignment that allows prosperity, clarity, and vitality to flow naturally. The life you want doesn’t need to be chased; it meets you when your inner world is tended, your essence is clear, and your choices reflect who you truly are.

your life is a mirror

The way you see yourself shapes the life you inhabit.

Psychologically, it’s perception in action. The human brain is a meaning-making organ. It filters billions of pieces of information each second, searching for coherence: evidence that matches your existing story of who you are.

Every encounter, every opportunity, every setback, reflects back to you what you already believe about who you are. If you carry a story of not being enough, of not being ready, of being small or invisible, the world obliges in its own subtle ways, nudging you to notice evidence that confirms your fears. And so you move through your days tense, alert, protective, half present, waiting for life to prove you right or wrong.

Three months ago, I filmed this simple Q&A. While answering one of the questions, I happened to start speaking about one of my deepest core wounds and fears: abandonment. It’s a pattern that stems from childhood. My core caretakers abandoned me as a child. The day after I published that video, my ex-boyfriend abandoned me with a phone call, leaving me alone in the city we had moved to together. Life was mirroring a self-perception I had of myself, encouraging me to release it. The past three months of my life have been a deep dive into clearing this old pattern and telling a new story. I have been on a journey of consciously changing my self-perception to change my reality. I teach how I do this in CLEAR landing in Nov.

When you begin to see yourself with gentle curiosity instead of judgment, things shift. Your life experience as a mirror is never against you. It is a teacher, a reflection of the energy you carry, of the care or the neglect you hold for yourself.

There’s a paradox: the more you accept who you are, exactly as you are in this moment, the more room you create to evolve.

Acceptance does not mean complacency or stagnation. It is where growth, change, and transformation can take root. By acknowledging your current limits, your fears, your flaws, and your brilliance, you create the space for new parts of you to emerge.

You breathe into yourself the permission to be fully present and fully human, and in that presence, the world shifts around you. Opportunities appear, guidance flows, relationships deepen, and your own intuition becomes a clearer, more unwavering compass.

Self-perception is the foundation of everything. It determines what you notice, how you act, and what you allow into your life. If you want to cultivate a life that feels aligned and expansive, the first place to start is here, in the mirror, in the tender, unwavering attention you give to the one person who will always be with you: yourself.

You don’t need anyone to tell you who you are. You already know. You need to listen.

your essence

Your essence is not hidden. It is already present, already alive, already breathing within you. Your essence is your lived expression of the nexus of your soul.

What obscures it are the layers of conditioning, the inherited expectations, the shoulds, the stories you’ve been told about who you are supposed to be. Essence is what remains when you subtract those things.

You uncover your essence by paying attention.

Notice the moments when you feel fully alive, when time seems irrelevant, when your attention sharpens effortlessly, when your body and mind are in quiet alignment. These are signposts. They show you what lights you up, what nourishes you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

Make a list of these moments. Be specific. What activities, conversations, environments, and ways of moving make your energy sing? Which choices leave you depleted? Which patterns make you feel small or constrained?

Parallel to discovering your essence is recognising conditioning. Conditioning is subtle, woven into your daily life like a thread you don’t notice until you pull it. It shows up as automatic reactions, habitual thoughts, the urge to conform, the fear of disappointing others, the compulsive need to perform or prove yourself.

Once you notice these patterns, you can begin to deconstruct them. You can experiment with saying no to old rules, with acting differently than you “should,” with testing new ways of thinking, feeling, and being. Each choice to step out of conditioned patterns is a reclamation of your energy, a clearing of space for essence to breathe and expand.

Essence is living, breathing, and fluid. It evolves as you evolve.

The needs and desires of my authentic self, my essence, shift constantly. The person who began writing online twelve years ago, compared to the person writing now, is entirely different. My values remain, yet they are lived and understood in entirely new ways. Love is felt in the willingness to show up for myself even when it’s hard. Freedom is claimed not through limitless choices but by being able to choose what is meaningful to me. Beauty is found in the attention I place on the ordinary. My essence is always maturing. It is a conversation with myself across time, a deepening dialogue between who I am becoming and the life I am willing to inhabit.

You cannot fully access essence when you are operating from the script written for you by others.

The act of naming your essence is also an act of claiming it: I choose this. I am drawn to this. I move in this way. I feel alive here. With that recognition, you create the foundation for all the inner and outer work that follows. The clarity to decondition, to reshape your habits, to remove the old narratives that no longer serve you, and to step forward with intention and alignment.

Sometimes we lose touch with what we’re drawn to, what we want, desire, or even like. It happened to me recently. I couldn’t access the parts of myself that once pulsed with desire. Too much had happened too fast, and life spun me around until I didn’t quite know who I was anymore. So I began a small, secret practice I call ‘Things I WANT’ list. Since I no longer knew what I wanted, I started collecting clues. Every time I heard someone talk about something they were doing, experiencing, or feeling, and my body reacted with a quiet spark of recognition, a soft ‘me too’, I wrote it down. Because they revealed something about how I wanted to feel. Over time, those little notes became signposts back to myself.

some things I overheard ppl speak about that I noted down

Desire is a compass. The things you want are indicators of what nourishes you, what enlivens you, what helps you remember who you are.

nourishment

Nourishment is the way you feed your mind, body, emotions, and spirit so that your life can function at full capacity, so that your presence can hold space for yourself and others.

Rest is nourishment. Play is nourishment. Silence, ritual, beauty, immersion in nature… they are infrastructure.

When you nourish yourself, you create a nervous system that feels safe to expand, a body and mind capable of holding joy, curiosity, and creativity without depletion. Everything you build: your work, your relationships, your life path, is only as sustainable as the inner ecology that supports it.

Pay attention to what sustains your energy rather than depletes it. Notice which conversations leave you full and which leave you empty. Notice what thoughts and stories you tell yourself that feel like nourishment, and which ones tighten, constrict, or exhaust. Notice how movement, food, and environment affect your clarity, focus, and vitality. Nourishment is as much about subtraction as it is about addition. Removing what drains you, creating space for what feeds you.

The more devoted you are to this kind of inner prosperity, the more effortlessly your life flows, because you are operating from fullness rather than deficit.

prosperity

Prosperity is measured not just in money but in clarity, in capacity, in the freedom to create the life you want. It is the overflow of a well-tended inner world. A life in which your essence is honoured, your instincts are trusted, and your energy is devoted to what makes you feel alive.

The work is always inward first: nourishing yourself, holding space for your evolution, cultivating self-trust and intuition.

Then, and only then, does the external world respond, drawn to the light you carry. Your inner abundance becomes a magnet. Attracting resources, opportunities, and experiences that match the vibrational reality you have already created for yourself.

Nourishment and prosperity are inseparable. One is the root; the other, the fruit. Without tending the root, the fruit cannot ripen fully. With devotion to yourself, your energy, and your essence, abundance flows as a natural consequence of a life lived in alignment.

The heart of transforming your life is knowing yourself intimately.

Not superficially, but at the level of your thoughts, feelings, instincts, desires, and patterns. Change doesn’t begin with the outside world; it begins with you, with the way you show up in your own life.

The question isn’t just what you want, but who you are being as you move through each day, as you respond to challenges, as you make choices. Are you living out of your authentic soul essence, or are you unconsciously following old patterns, conditioning, and expectations that no longer serve you?

Taking responsibility for this is understanding that every small choice either nourishes you or depletes you. When you begin to show up for yourself in alignment with your essence, you learn what truly sustains your energy, what makes you feel alive, what your life needs to flourish.

This is the work of self-knowledge: observing without judgment, naming the ways conditioning has shaped you, and making deliberate choices to nourish yourself in the ways that matter. Only when you are clear about who you are and what nourishes you can you begin to recognise what kind of life is right for you.

In our next step of this series, we begin to build that life externally. But first, let’s complete this section here:

practice

Take this week to quietly study yourself. Not your habits or productivity, but the subtler currents underneath: what lights you up, what drains you, what makes you feel most you.

Each day, jot down one small observation about what nourishes you and one about what depletes you. Don’t try to fix or optimise anything. Just notice. This is how self-intimacy begins: through witnessing, not forcing.

At the end of the week, look at what you’ve written. See if you can trace the shape of your essence through those notes. The qualities, environments, and rhythms that bring you alive. Those are the clues to the kind of life that fits you.

micro-vow

“I am willing to know myself deeply.
I take responsibility for how I show up in my life.
I will tend to what truly nourishes me,
so the life meant for me can find me.”

comment

What’s one subtle way you’ve noticed yourself living out an old pattern that no longer fits? Share it below. Naming it is the first act of coming home to yourself.

P.S. A peek into CLEAR (clear your path, change your life), landing in November.
October 10, 2025
trust yourself, trust your path
4/8 — the fourth rule of her way club (aka: how to change your life in 6-12 months)

SEP 28, 2025

Continuing our 8 rules of her way club series. If you’re just joining, begin here:

1/8 — deciding to play by your own rules
2/8 — subtracting what doesn’t belong
3/8 — the natural consequence: uncertainty
interlude — her way deep rest
4/8 — trust yourself

where I am writing this to you from, today

The fourth rule of her way club is about owning your path.

I’ve just returned from a kundalini yoga class. At the start, our teacher said: “There are two things people fear most in themselves: their anger and their instinct. But we need both: to metabolise anger and to connect with instinct. How could anyone not feel anger in these times, with the world stage pulling antics that belong to centuries past?”

I thought about her words all class. Anger and instinct are scary because they’re truth tellers. And truth is confronting. It forces us to face ourselves or others in ways we’d rather avoid. It makes us choose paths outside the norm.

The kriyas focused on metabolising anger. Hot, annoying, fast movements and breath that help me unglue myself from my subconscious resistances. I have my own private anger to metabolise. Anger is a fire: it burns away what isn’t meant for you and fuels you to do things differently. Anger gives you agency to choose your most authentic path.

Instinct is different. Instinct is information. It tells you, moment by moment, what next step to take. And every time, you have a choice: trust yourself and your path, or not and pay the consequences until life offers you the chance to choose again.

If rule one was claiming your agency, rule two subtracting what doesn’t belong, rule three embracing uncertainty and the deep rest required to hold yourself through it, then this, rule four, is about owning your path. We are at the heart of our journey.

Most people follow the crowd, chasing safety, belonging, and love. They measure success on someone else’s scoreboard: celebrity culture, external validation, possessions that inflate the ego for minutes rather than decades. They mistake comfort for alignment. They choose paths where the ending is visible. But knowing how the story ends doesn’t mean it’s the right story for you.

Comfort, in fact, can be the cage that keeps potential small and life mediocre. The more your life reflects your authentic code, the more alive you feel. The more you resist it by staying small, safe, palatable the more numb you become. At some point, you have to admit: the life you’ve been living might not actually be yours.

There are three keys to owning your path:
- Self-trust: developing your instinct and allowing yourself to make mistakes.
- Enthusiasm: devoting yourself to what makes you feel alive.
- Surrender: letting yourself not know exactly how it will play out, and trusting anyway.
This is the ‘her way’ approach to creating a life that is actually yours.

Key 1: Self-Trust

Everything is spiritual, even the most ordinary logistics. Self-trust is where your inner world meets the outer one. It’s deeply practical. The more you trust yourself, the easier life feels.

Without self-trust, you continue to outsource decisions, scanning others’ opinions, adapting to their expectations, and doubting your own instincts. This is exhausting. It makes you feel wobbly and unsafe.

With self-trust, everything shifts:
- You get things done. Procrastination fades when you trust yourself to follow through.
- You feel steadier and safer. The world softens when you know you can rely on yourself.
- You grow your instinct. Each decision becomes practice, and even mistakes turn into evidence that you can handle whatever comes.
Self-trust begins with a choice: gathering your energy back from the outside world and returning it to yourself. Each time you stop looking outward for permission and instead ask, What feels true for me? you strengthen that muscle.

It’s about being available to yourself. That means listening inward and actually honouring what you hear with action. It means tending to your body, energy, and emotions so you have the capacity to show up for your own needs. It means following through with integrity, doing what you said you’d do because you are in relationship with yourself.

Self-trust doesn’t mean getting it right all the time. It means allowing yourself to act in the unknown, to risk imperfection, to treat mistakes as feedback instead of evidence against you. The more you do this, the more natural and effortless it becomes.

When you trust yourself, you stop second-guessing, stop beating yourself up, and start freeing up energy for what matters most. Life flows differently. Relationships soften. And you begin to notice how the universe meets you halfway, aligning the pieces once you’ve chosen to stand firmly in your own inner ground.

Key 2: Enthusiasm

To live your way, you need enthusiasm. The word itself comes from the Greek enthousiasmos, “having god within.” It’s being lit up by a divine spark. Enthusiasm is devotion to what makes you feel most alive. It’s the master key to the good life.

To practice enthusiasm, your task is simple, but not easy: notice.

Notice what distorts time, what makes focus effortless, what fills you with ideas you can’t put down. Enthusiasm leaves traces: goosebumps, a quickened pulse, the sudden sense that the world has tilted open in possibility. These are signals pointing you toward your path.

Redirect your intensity away from chasing people or external validation, and toward the skills, projects, and fascinations that nourish you. Pour your energy where it multiplies, not where it leaks. Accept what cannot be changed. Eliminate or outsource what drains you.

Then make it real. Literally block off one to two hours each day: a standing appointment with your own aliveness. Do the things that bring you excitement, that light you up.

For me, that’s starting the day, phone off, writing for two hours every morning. As I have shared before, writing informs every other part of my life that literally brings my dreams and visions to life. For you, it might be something else. Devote yourself to it.

Enthusiasm is both compass and fuel. It shows you where to go and gives you the stamina to keep going, even when the path is uncertain. The more you cultivate it, the more your life begins to feel like your own: alive, expansive, divinely guided.

Key 3: Surrender

Surrender is the alchemy that allows everything else to work. It’s letting go of the need to control the outcome, releasing the illusion that you can map every step of your journey, and trusting anyway. It means holding your agency and your enthusiasm, while allowing the unknown to unfold.

Surrender begins with a choice: to step into the unknown without fear of being “wrong.” Life rarely delivers guarantees, and the map you imagined often fades the moment you try to follow it. Surrender is the practice of leaning into uncertainty with calm, of showing up fully even when the next step is invisible.

It’s also a recognition that the universe, or life, or your own deeper self, is smarter than your anxious mind. When you act with integrity, follow your instinct, and devote yourself to what makes you alive, surrender allows the pieces to align in ways you cannot predict. You trust that the guidance you feel, the enthusiasm you cultivate, and the self-trust you’ve built are enough.

Surrender is giving over. Giving over to the flow, the timing, the magic that only emerges when you stop resisting. It’s a practice: showing up for your life without needing to know the whole story, trusting that the steps you take, even imperfectly, are carrying you forward.

When you surrender, you move with grace instead of struggle. You release the tension of trying to force outcomes, and you open yourself to the full richness of living her way.

I have so many stories from this year alone about practising self-trust, enthusiasm, and surrender, stories I’d love to share. But for this her way club series (aka: how to change your life in 6–12 months), I want to stay focused on giving you the tools to take steps in your own way. I trust your innate intelligence to guide you. If you’d like more of my personal stories woven in, let me know.

practice: the self-trust check-in

Take five minutes to check in with yourself and your inner guidance. Write down:
- One decision you’ve been hesitating on, and what your instinct is telling you.
- One area where you’ve been looking outside yourself for approval.
- One small action you can take this week that aligns with your own guidance, not someone else’s.
- One way you can honour your energy, emotions, or body to show up fully for yourself.
- One past moment where trusting yourself paid off, and how it felt.
Notice the difference between what your mind overthinks and what your deeper sense knows. This is your internal compass — your self-trust — sharpening.

micro-vow

This week, pick one moment where you’ll act from your own guidance, not what anyone else says you “should” do. Say it aloud:

I trust myself. I trust my path.

comment prompt

What’s one small act you can take this week to follow your own instincts, rather than someone else’s rules? Share it below…
September 28, 2025
you are planet powered 🪐
…as I discovered one day when I went for a walk with my astrologist Zoe on London’s Hampstead Heath

I didn’t set out to live in rhythm with the planets.

I was just trying to figure out how to get through the week without falling back into the old paradigm of life and work.

It was a decade ago, sometime in the early years of my business, that tender in-between season when you’re no longer in the old world (but still haunted by its rules), and not yet anchored in the new one. I had refused traditional work because I craved freedom. Flexibility. Something that felt like mine. But what I found was that freedom — without structure and rhythm — can feel like floating in deep water without anything to hold onto.

Each day bled into the next. I was either wildly inspired or totally untethered. I’d start Mondays trying to be productive, then spiral into guilt when I couldn’t focus. Some days I’d push myself to work until 10 pm. Other days, I’d drift, half-present, getting nothing done and feeling even worse about it.

It wasn’t that I didn’t love the work. I did. But I was still trying to move through time as if it were a flat surface. Like each day should hold the same energy, the same productivity, the same focus.

And then something shifted.

One day, I went for a walk with my astrologist Zoe on London’s Hampstead Heath. We were examining wild-grown herbs and trees, discussing how they relate to each individual. At some point, the conversation drifted to how we organise our days and how fortunate we were to go for a walk in nature on a beautiful day while everyone else was stuck behind a desk in a square room somewhere. She mentioned in passing a simple idea: that each day of the week is ruled by a planet. Each one carries its own essence. A mood. A direction. A rhythm.

Fascinated, I took myself to the British Library and fell into a deep research dive on anything I could find out about the days of the week being related to planetary systems. As it turns out, in a vast number of languages, the names given to the seven days of the week are derived from the names of the classical planets in Hellenistic Astronomy, which were in turn named after contemporary deities, a system introduced by the Sumerians and later adopted by the Babylonians from whom the Roman Empire adopted the system.

Monday is ruled by the Moon. Of course it is. Monday blues are real! That’s why it always felt so emotionally dense. Tuesday, by Mars — no wonder I always wanted to push through my to-do list that day. Wednesday — Mercury — my best meeting day. And so on…

It’s not new information. It is ancient, and that felt like remembering something I already knew in my bones. So I started experimenting.

Just gently at first. I stopped scheduling intense work-heavy starts to the week on Mondays. I started batching bold, courageous tasks on Tuesdays. I held my meetings on Wednesdays and saved my writing for Thursdays. I let Friday be soft. Sensual. More space, less noise.

The changes were subtle, but the impact was immediate. Suddenly, I wasn’t pushing against myself anymore. I had a relationship with time: one that felt intimate, reverent, and alive.

I started feeling less like I was managing time, and more like I was dancing with it. Listening. Responding. Moving in flow. The more I lived this way, the more everything began to shift.

My business felt more coherent. My body relaxed in response.

I could actually feel the difference between a Moon day and a Mercury day. I have language for my inner world and permission to meet each day with integrity and grace.

Introducing:

PLANET POWERED ~ https://stan.store/herwayclub

A new rhythm for life — soft, structured, and alive.

Inside, you’ll find:
- 114-page guide
- Six tailored lifestyle guides
- Energetic themes for each day of the week
- Planetary symbolism and modern integration
- Custom: calendars, cheat sheets, and daily rituals
- Journaling prompts, reflection tools & real examples
- A live Telegram community for connection and support: July 13–August 10
$55 — INSTANT ACCESS

What if your whole week made sense?

What if you knew exactly why Monday always feels a little heavier… And why Tuesdays feel sharper, more focused… And why by Friday you want to wear something cute and take yourself out dancing (or at least light a nice candle)?

There’s a reason. You don’t flail or feel your way through the week by accident.

There are real, rhythmic forces influencing your emotions, energy, and attention — every single day. But we’ve been trained to ignore that rhythm.
To push through. Force clarity. Work like we’re machines.

Planet Powered invites you to live differently.

To stop fighting time — and start flowing with it.

Planet Powered is a new way to move through time — ancient, intuitive, and wildly effective.

✦ Why this matters

✔ You stop wasting energy on the wrong things at the wrong time
✔ You feel more emotionally supported and less scattered
✔ You create with more ease, confidence, and momentum
✔ You find a rhythm that’s both soulful and sustainable
✔ You stop asking “what’s wrong with me?” and start asking “what’s the energy today?”

This guide will teach you how.

Time isn’t flat. It’s textured. Alive. Rhythmic.

✦ Who this is for
- You’re self-employed and want a rhythm that balances structure with flow
- You’re in a corporate job but craving more soul and spaciousness
- You’re a parent trying to stay grounded inside the chaos
- You’re a student or seeker looking to live more intuitively
- You’re done with pushing. You’re ready to align
Whether you’re an entrepreneur, seeker, parent, student, or simply someone craving a new way to relate to time, this guide offers structure without rigidity, softness without chaos, and a return to something your body already knows.

Planet Powered includes tailored guidance for different life paths.

Each day of the week carries a unique planetary frequency.
It has since ancient times — and deep down, your body already feels it.
- Monday is ruled by the Moon — emotional, internal, tender.
- Tuesday belongs to Mars — bold, active, focused.
- Wednesday is Mercury’s — clear, communicative, connected.
- Thursday expands under Jupiter — wise, generous, abundant.
- Friday glows with Venus — beauty, love, creativity.
- Saturday grounds us in Saturn — structure, integrity, completion.
- Sunday re-centres in the Sun — joy, self, radiance.
When you honour that rhythm instead of override it — everything changes.

You stop pushing against your own energy. You stop trying to be everything, every day. You stop feeling like you’re constantly behind.

Instead, you begin to flow…

This is what Planet Powered is here to help you do:
Reorient your life around the energy that already lives in the week.
Through a steady rhythm.

$55 — INSTANT ACCESS

Why I created this

When I first left behind traditional work, I was craving freedom. But freedom without rhythm just left me overwhelmed. I didn’t want the rigid 9-to-5. But I didn’t want to drift endlessly, either. I needed something that felt both fluid and practical. A system that could hold me, without boxing me in. That’s when I stumbled across the planetary week… and everything clicked.

Suddenly, I understood why certain days flowed and others didn’t. I stopped forcing deep work on Moon days. I started writing on Mercury days, launching on Jupiter days, and resting on purpose. This rhythm didn’t make me productive. It made me present.

That’s what I want for you.

What You’ll Get

This is more than an eBook or a course: it is a living rhythm, with beautiful tools and a community of friends to help you step into it.

Let your days become a devotion.

Let your week become a map.

Let your life be Planet Powered.

This isn’t a one-time read. It’s a way of living that holds you, day after day, cycle after cycle.

✧ The Guide

A beautifully designed 114-page PDF and digital resource that teaches you the energy of each day, with poetic insight and grounded, real-life examples for all different life seasons — whether you’re self-employed, working in a corporate setting, parenting, studying, or walking a spiritual path.

Each section offers real-life suggestions, energetic check-ins, and practical ways to honour the rhythm within your unique lifestyle — so you can make this work for you, not the other way around.

Includes:

~ Tips to integrate rhythm into work, relationships, creativity and rest

~ Planetary day-by-day breakdowns

~ Journaling prompts & rituals

~ Practical lifestyle guides and tools for entrepreneurs, professionals, parents, students, and seekers

$55 — INSTANT ACCESS

✧ The Calendar

A downloadable iCal/Google Calendar layer that brings the energy of the day right into your digital schedule, so you don’t have to remember. It’s just there. Subtle. Seamless.

✧ The Spotify Playlist

An ambient, atmospheric playlist to support you through the week — music to match the mood of each planetary energy.

✧ The Community

Our private Telegram group, where we share the rhythm in real-time. Daily check-ins. Honest reflections. Celebrations. Gentle support. A place to not do it all alone.

One-Month Live (July 13–August 10)

Join us in a private Telegram group where Vienda will share live daily reflections, answer your questions, and guide you through the rhythm together.

This is more than a group chat — it’s a virtual hearth. A live rhythm lab. A space to bring structure, magic, and collective resonance into your week.

$55 — INSTANT ACCESS
June 30, 2025
choice architecture + invisible currents
because so much of what we do each day isn’t really a choice, not in the conscious sense

A month ago I was invited to teach this workshop for The Wild Ones Community. Today I decided I would share it with you too.

The premise is that we are moved by invisible currents. Nudged by our surroundings. Directed by systems we didn’t design.

Through this workshop, we’re going to pause and pay attention.

To notice the subtle structures shaping our decisions — from the arrangement of a room, to the rhythms of our inbox, to the silent expectations in our relationships.
And then… gently, deliberately, begin to redesign them.

practical exercise (if you feel called to it)

Choose one area of your life where you feel stuck, or where you tend to make choices you later wish you hadn’t.

Then:
1. For three days, notice and document all the environmental cues influencing your behaviour in that area — the physical setup, digital distractions, people nearby, time of day, even your energy levels or mood.
2. Identify the three strongest “currents” — the forces most powerfully pulling you off course.
3. Share your most surprising or interesting discovery in the comments below. What did you notice, now that you are really looking?
You never know — your insight might help someone else spot a current they didn’t even know they were swimming in.

this is where we go deeper

One of the quiet teachings of The Way She Knows is that your inner knowing isn’t something you have to find but rather something you return to, again and again.

And to return, we need to notice what pulls us away.

We need to see the systems, structures, and subtle influences that guide our days and ask: Who designed this? Is this serving me? What do I want instead?

This is an act of reclamation.

It’s a way of lifting the veil on the environments and patterns that keep you in loops and gently beginning to reorient them toward the life you actually want to live.

It’s less about control and more about tending. Less about discipline, and more about designing your life to support the way you want to feel.

That’s the deeper current of this work: To live in a way that’s attuned, not just to your values, but to your body, your seasons, your intuition, your truth.

This is how she knows.
Not by force, but by design.

Maybe today something was brought into focus — a pattern, a pull, a way you’ve been shaped — The Way She Knows is where we go deeper.

Together, we release the limiting beliefs, patterns, and conditioning that keep you stuck — and rebuild trust in your own voice. Guided by the RRRRI Method (Reflect · Review · Release · Replace · Integrate), you’ll receive daily audio teachings, soul-led prompts, and two live group calls to support you in returning to your truth and leading your life from within.

You’re invited. If your body says yes, come join us. We begin in 14 days.

JOIN HERE
May 12, 2025
how to actually change your life

who am I when I am not running toward something new?

For the next ten days, I am inviting you into a conversation about transformation—the kind that is deep, sustainable, and truly liberating. I’ll be sharing insights, stories, and practices from ALIGNED, my 6-week programdesigned to help you take intentional action in your life and business. This program is the culmination of years of personal exploration and guiding others through the delicate process of inner shifts that lead to tangible change.

This work is profoundly important to me because I have lived and breathed it for years, testing its principles in my own life and witnessing its impact on the lives of those I’ve worked with. And nothing speaks to its power more than the experiences of past participants:

“One key takeaway from this course was identifying my limiting belief: ‘I have to do it like everyone else.’ Realizing this and choosing a different story feels incredibly freeing.”

“Having a group of people to get to know helped me feel like there was a community of like-minded individuals, offering support even as we worked on different areas of our lives.”

“I love the way you always include accountability and listening partners in your courses. It creates such valuable connections, and I’ve stayed in touch with past participants, supporting each other’s businesses and visions in truly special ways.”

“I took your course on money, and my entire life shifted within 2-3 months—that was crazy! I had been aware of my fears and beliefs for years but never found a way to let them go until I took your course. I am still mind-blown.”

So much of what holds us back is invisible to us.

Our minds become intricate labyrinths of inherited narratives, subconscious fears, and well-worn patterns that shape our choices, often without our awareness.

This is why today, I want to talk to you about how to actually change your life — starting with the very thing that keeps you stuck: limiting beliefs.

It’s been five months since I moved to this little surf town on the Atlantic coast of Portugal. Five months of waking to the sound of waves rolling against the cliffs, of salt-drenched air that clings to my hair and skin, of slow mornings wrapped in mist and coffee and the promise of something unknown.

And yet, despite all this beauty — this wild, unpredictable, heart-expanding beauty — there have been moments when I have felt utterly, inexplicably stuck. As if something inside me was pressing against an invisible ceiling, a quiet resistance lurking beneath the surface.

It never fails to astonish me how I carry every part of myself wherever I go — every fear, every belief, every invisible boundary I have ever built.

In the past five months, I’ve found myself face to face with an unfamiliar stillness, a startling absence of the urge to chase something new. It lingers like a question I can’t quite answer, so foreign that I wonder if I’ve misplaced my ambition entirely.

I used to think that growth meant running toward something new — more freedom, more success, more peace.

But I’ve learned that the most important work isn’t in the external shifts, but in the quiet, often uncomfortable act of meeting yourself where you are and asking:

What is actually keeping me here?

I recently ran a free challenge to help you find clarity in your life — over 100 people joined (you can, too) — and the most common struggle you shared was this:

How do I uncover my limiting beliefs when I can’t even see them?

That’s the thing about the patterns that hold us back—they exist in the shadows, shaping our choices without us even realising it. It’s an inside job, and our limitations are often our biggest blind spots.

That’s exactly why I created Aligned —a deeply supportive, transformative space designed to help you move through those hidden limitations in a way that feels pragmatic, expansive, and fun. Because real change doesn’t have to be heavy—it can be meaningful, energizing, and deeply freeing.

Doors close in 10 days, and there are only 12 spots available per group.

Hit reply if you’re on the fence, or sign up here.

the simple process I use for shifting limiting beliefs

1. identify my current challenge

The first clue that I am operating from a limiting belief is the sensation of being stuck. That heavy, unmoving energy that tells you something isn’t working but doesn’t quite reveal why.

For me, in those first few months in Ericeira, I felt a deep-seated fear that no matter how much I expanded, I would always find myself circling back to the same struggles—uncertainty about what I was supposed to be doing, my business growth, and the question of whether I was truly doing enough.

It was familiar, frustrating, and maddeningly persistent.

I had to sit with it. To acknowledge it and feel it.

TIP 1: Instead of trying to bulldoze through it, pause. What’s the exact problem? Name it. Be as precise as possible. The more clarity you bring, the more power you have over it.

2. taking ownership without shame

What I discovered was that, after years and years of living the life I had dreamed of, my dreams had run dry.

I was out of alignment with who I am, and what I wanted because I didn’t believe I was worthy of having big dreams anymore. I discovered that I am someone with enormous desires. Desires that I had squashed.

Career-wise, I blamed the algorithm (it’s changed so much!), the economy (people are spending less!).

And then! My 12k Instagram account was hacked and then stolen from me. A decade of work, gone overnight!

But the truth? None of that was the real reason I felt stuck.

The real reason was that I was clinging to old stories about my worth and ability, stories that whispered: You have to work harder to deserve more. You have to struggle for this to count.

Taking ownership didn’t mean blaming myself. It meant acknowledging that if I was the one unconsciously building these walls, I was also the one who could tear them down.

TIP 2: Here’s where it gets tender: can you take full responsibility for your current reality—without shame, without self-punishment? Can you look at the patterns that have led you here with compassion, rather than criticism?

3. seeing the invitation for growth

I know — even though, like all of us, I often need to be reminded — that my biggest frustrations are signposts pointing me toward the exact lesson I need. The solution is always to lean in and ask: What is this here to show me?

The moment I did, things shifted. I saw how my limiting beliefs weren’t just abstract ideas—they were running the show. Success requires struggle. Ease is irresponsible. If you slow down, you’ll fall behind. And I realised: these weren’t truths.

They were choices.

TIP 3: The blindspots are the areas in life we are not in alignment with because we have limiting beliefs around them. Your mind is powerful. It will always find evidence for what you believe. The good news? You get to decide what to believe next.

4. embrace the ripple effect

I am going through growing pangs. This is an opportunity to build something even stronger. It’s a painful shift, but these moments create space for new approaches that end up being more aligned.

I am valuing myself and my work in ways that I should have a long time ago, but did not, because I did not believe I was enough. This shows me that my external reality was only ever reflecting what I believed to be true about myself.

TIP 4: When you start dismantling the old stories, your life shifts in ways you can’t yet see. The work you put in today—challenging your beliefs, choosing different thoughts, moving from a place of trust instead of fear—will show up in unexpected ways. New opportunities. Conversations that change everything. A lightness you can’t explain.

This morning I woke up, warm after many cold nights, my hair stuck to my face.

It’s one of those mornings where everything feels a little lopsided.

My soy milk has curdled so I can’t make myself a matcha and have to settle for a herbal tea. My dentist appointment is cancelled because the dentist is ill. I am relieved because I don’t feel like walking the 20 minutes in the torrential downpour anyway. I journal.

Your life is always responding to you. And if you want something different, you don’t have to work harder, force it, or prove yourself. You just have to start believing a new story — and living from it as if it were already true.

I am learning, awkwardly, how to embody the new version of myself that I am becoming. Anticipation builds alongside the next steps life is revealing to me.

TIP 5: What makes this process so transformative is that it moves us from feeling powerless to feeling deeply, profoundly capable. When you stop trying to change everything outside of you and instead start working on what’s within, everything shifts.

If you’re considering joining me for either ALIGNED OFFER (business-focused) or ALIGNED ACTION (life-focused), now is the time. Doors close in 10 days, and there are only 12 spots available per group.

LEARN MORE HERE

If you’re unsure, email me — I’m happy to help you decide.

February 27, 2025
everybody has a different story
…and you know you want to live yours

I never planned to be here.

It’s 7.34, and the sun is just starting to peek over the hill covered in tall buildings that shadow the village in the mornings. I am cross-legged on my sofa, wrapped in a blanket grateful for the ache in my chest that arrives whenever I sit, fingers softly poised above keys, ready to pour all of myself into the words on a page. I can hear the waves crashing onto the shore 300 metres from my balcony and the washing machine slopping wet dirty clothes around inside itself.

What I did plan on is to feel alive.

To me, Ericeira smells like sea salt and algae. It smells like fishing lines and burnt coffee. Most days the humidity is around 90%. It feels like walking through a neverending water wall. Mostly infiltrated by people not from here this winter the streets have been silent. The locals shuffle through their days in their unhurried solitude. The cold, humid ache that goes deep into my bones is interspersed by warm sunny hours in the middle of the day.

Here, my everyday life is quiet.

When I arrived I had followed something in my body that told me ‘not here’. A subtle disquiet that had been with me. Because place matters. But I had decided to stop planning and start living without knowing how this story ends.

It brought me here.

For so much of my life, I thought that to live a meaningful life I needed to choose my steps carefully. That it would all unravel and fall apart if I wasn’t meticulous in my decision-making and planning. It’s me and the world. I am alone. I don’t have a family to fall back on. There is always some risk involved when I do anything new and I am acutely conscious of the fact that I lack a cushion to rely on if things go wrong. Which they do.

Frustrated with living in fear I cultivated a new approach.

What I discovered was that there is a state of alignment you can reach in which magical things will start happening for you. I often call it kismet but really, it’s being in a relationship with the dynamic aliveness of life. Once I figured out how it worked I was able to relax and now have a lot of fun inviting that kind of serendipity into my decision-making processes and day-to-day life.

I have very literally been in the business of living in alignment for years and I still need reminders that the way I move through life is enough.

It’s no surprise. The rampant roar of the outside world is strong. It overpowers the subtle nudges and the cultivation of inner stillness necessary to enter into alignment. Despite years of evidence that living in alignment works I still have times of doubt and uncertainty. I have had to learn how to stay centred and not let that derail me.

I have to be resolute in my devotion to alignment.

I’m teaching exactly how I do this — both in my life; and in my business — across 6 weeks starting on Monday, March 10 2025. There are only 12 spaces in each cohort. Join me for ALIGNED, here.

I could never have planned the life that was waiting for me.

I left England last year because it dimmed my light. I was becoming someone I didn’t recognise. I had outgrown my environment and had become complacent and indolent in every area of my life. I was out of alignment. This misalignment isn’t just uncomfortable – it’s costly. It drained me of my energy, dampened my creativity, and held me back from the life I was meant to live.

But I know I always have a choice.

So I left and it took me on a misadventure through the Mediterranean Sea where I was redirected to a village by the Atlantic Ocean where I fell in love and am now moving to New York. I could never have planned any of this. But life, in its mystery and intelligence, did. All I had to do was let go of trying to control the uncontrollable and get into alignment instead.

Choosing change is hard. Choosing a new story without knowing how it ends is even harder. But when you choose alignment, life moves you to where you are meant to be with so much grace and ease, that the obstacles on the way no longer matter.

They don’t go away. But they become insignificant in comparison to the bigger vision. The project of living your most alive, vibrant, dynamic and meaningful life.

Aligned teaches a dynamic way to live and work in alignment, where action flows from clarity, trust, and surrender.

ALIGNED is not just one program — it’s two distinct pathways, running simultaneously, designed to support you based on where you are right now.
- ALIGNED ACTION is for you if you are ready to transform your personal life — activating changes in relationships, career, purpose, and finances with trust and confidence.
- ALIGNED OFFER is for you if you are ready to build or grow an online business — creating offers that sell with ease, alignment, and momentum.
Both programs follow the same structure but focus on different areas of life. You’ll be part of a powerful container with daily insights, live workshops, and a supportive community—all guiding you toward aligned, inspired action.

LEARN MORE & JOIN HERE

I don’t know exactly what is next.

What I do know is that as long as I remain aligned, life happens for me. Things that I can never imagine or plan or prepare for. Things I hope and dream for but only reach when I move into alignment and let go.

As these winter days and nights come to an end and spring starts to make itself known in the slightly longer and warmer days I relish the tiny moments.

Some afternoons I see the locals leaning out of their windows watching the world pass by and if we have crossed each other often enough we smile and nod. Bright purple and yellow wildflowers are beginning to cover the cliff edges facing the restless Atlantic Ocean reminding me of the dynamic nature of life. The damp air as I walk home in the evening carrying dates from the organic market and I look up and see the stars. A luxury that is here and won’t be when I leave.

I can’t wait to see how this story continues.
February 25, 2025