Author: vienda

… and I don’t know if I feel distressed or relieved about it? Or if the bones of my business can carry me forward from here?

On Tuesday night, as I made my way to bed, I popped my phone on charge in the living room and was about to turn it on aeroplane mode — my nightly ritual of digital disconnection — when I saw the message above. Confused and with my heart already starting to race, I swiped across to my Instagram icon and tapped on it, only to confirm my worst fear: my personal brand account, years of connections and content, had vanished into the digital ether. Poof! Gone faster than my New Year’s resolution to do morning meditation.

The next two hours became a blur of frantic searching and desperate attempts at recovery. Anyone who’s lost something precious knows that initial surge of panic – the racing thoughts, the moist palms, the tightness in your chest as you try everything you can think of. From clicking the ‘hacked’ option to desperately navigating Facebook business support (an experience about as helpful as asking my cat for tech advice), I followed every breadcrumb trail I could find. Each dead end felt like another door slamming shut. Instagram’s automated responses might as well have been echoes in an empty room — they offered literally zero help. By midnight, I crawled into bed with stress hormones surging through my body, my mind a carousel of worst-case scenarios.

Yet somewhere in that chaos, a tiny voice whispered: “What if this is actually a gift?” (Plot twist: sometimes the universe has a peculiar sense of humour in delivering its messages.)

The past 36 hours have been a rollercoaster of emotions that have been equal parts terrifying and oddly liberating. Like standing at the edge of a cliff — frightening, but with a breathtaking view of possibilities I hadn’t considered before. Who knew digital detox could be so… involuntary?

While juggling multiple priorities I attempted account recovery, supported my private clients and wrote the daily lessons for the free 6-day Clarity challenge that starts on Monday:

You’re invited! It’ll be fun! bring your friends! Over 60 people have already signed up!

Each day you’ll receive bite-sized audio lessons and powerful exercises designed to spark clarity and momentum straight to your phone on Telegram. 📲 There you can share your breakthroughs, connect with others, and take bold steps forward—one day at a time. 

Day 1: Understanding Stuckness

Focus: Why you feel stuck and how to shift your mindset.

Day 2: Creating a Vision

Focus: Get clear on your authentic desires and values.

Day 3: Overcoming Resistance

Focus: Address internal and external blocks stopping you from progressing.

Day 4: Reigniting Inspiration

Focus: Build motivation and discipline for aligned action.

Day 5: Building Momentum

Focus: Start taking aligned action with clarity and confidence.

Day 6: Anchoring Self-Trust

Focus: Celebrate progress and build tools for future decisions.

These past 36 hours have forced me to deeply examine Instagram’s role in my life, and the revelation has been both unsettling and illuminating. 

Yes, it’s been an incredible platform for building genuine connections — a digital garden party where I’ve cultivated beautiful friendships and connected with kindred spirits across the globe. Through it, I’ve shared my authentic voice, sparked hope, and offered a perspective that celebrates personal responsibility and infinite possibility.

But let’s be honest. The platform has morphed into something almost unrecognisable. It’s like that friend who suddenly got really into multi-level marketing — still lovable, but exhausting to be around.

Each scroll brings another sales pitch, another algorithm-fed distraction. The wholesome creativity and genuine connection that drew us here have been largely displaced by an endless parade of carefully curated content and targeted advertisements. At this point, my feed thinks I’m simultaneously planning a wedding, starting a kombucha business, and in desperate need of 47 different productivity apps.

And when I look at my stats, of the 12k, less than 10% of you get to see anything I share. I find myself increasingly torn between gratitude for the platform’s benefits and an almost visceral resistance to being part of this attention economy. 

It’s like being at a party where everyone’s shouting, but nobody’s listening.

While I’ve always strived to maintain authenticity in this space, there’s a growing dissonance between my values and the platform’s evolution. We’re all aware of the studies showing social media’s impact on our collective mental health, our ability to focus, and our capacity for deep, meaningful in-person connections. As someone trained in psychology, I feel this weight even more heavily.

Could this forced exit be the universe’s way of nudging me toward a more aligned path? Perhaps. However, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified about my business’s survival without this digital lifeline.

There’s only one way to know. This is exactly what I am doing now: seeing how you, my community, rally around me.

While losing my account has shaken my business foundations, it’s also created space for something new to emerge. Something potentially more aligned with both my values and the genuine needs of my community.

This is where you come in. 

As I navigate this transition, I’m curious to hear your thoughts and feelings. How would you prefer to stay connected? What kind of support and content would truly serve you? How do you feel about Substack and YouTube? Perhaps together, we can create something even more meaningful than what we’re leaving behind.

How else could we live? We pour ourselves into vessels that may crack, dream dreams that may dissolve, love people who will certainly change. And in doing so, we become more fully human, more alive…

The winter rains have arrived which everyone warned me about. “It pours endlessly and everything will feel damp and moist,” they told me. 

I’ve been living in the tiny fishing village-turned-surf destination of Ericeira in Portugal, for three months now. The palms outside my windows are waving at me carelessly reminding me not to go outside.

It’s Monday and I woke in bed with my cat’s face so close to mine I could feel his soft breathing. He had tucked himself under the covers next to me like a doll, making me laugh. 

I promised myself a slow start this morning and folded myself deeper into the lingering nighttime warmth letting my mind drift and wander without holding onto any particular thought. 

Finally, the urge to relieve myself urged me out followed by padding out to the windows to confirm that it was indeed a day to stay cosy indoors.

Lighting candles and incense in the living room I moved back to the kitchen to make warm lemon water to drink always the first thing on an empty stomach followed by honey-sweetened cacao to enhance the cosy atmosphere. 

The start of 2025 has felt like water slipping through cupped hands. Impossible to grasp yet vital to life itself. Like water, we try to build our worlds on what cannot be contained: love, friendship, and the gossamer threads of possibility. In my small corner of existence, as the world churns with its fires and floods, its violence and chaos, I find myself surrendering to this paradox.

A chance encounter on a cafe stoop becomes something more. A love story with a tall Italian stranger transforming from nothing into something. 

This is the eternal human condition – to build our castles on shifting sands, to stake our hearts on what tomorrow might reshape entirely. How else could we live? 

We pour ourselves into vessels that may crack, dream dreams that may dissolve, love people who will certainly change. And in doing so, we become more fully human, more alive to the exquisite uncertainty of it all.

I sit watching raindrops fall in gentle rhythm, as candles flicker and fade one by one. My to-do list grows longer with each passing thought – a testament to my endless optimism about what I might accomplish this week. Though I know, deep down, that time will move more slowly than my dreams, I’ve learned to forgive myself for this hopeful nature. There is something beautiful about believing in possibility, even when reality gently reminds us of its own unhurried pace.

what you’re responsible for. + what NOT

It’s officially 2025, and while some folks are diving headfirst into goal-setting and vision boards, others might just be trying to remember where they left their coffee. Wherever you’re at, it’s perfectly fine. Honouring your own rhythm is a beautiful thing. And while you might not be feeling the “new year, new me” vibes just yet, this could be the perfect time to hit reset on some sneaky habits—like enabling.

It’s been a hot topic in my little corner of the universe lately.

Having grown up in an emotionally unsafe environment, I was no stranger to enabling behaviours, as these dynamics often blur boundaries and foster a pattern of prioritising others’ needs, emotions, or dysfunctions over one’s own well-being, perpetuating cycles of dependency and unhealthy interactions.

It took me years to unlearn this pattern, a process that involved becoming deeply discerning about what was mine to carry and what wasn’t, and learning to step back, allowing others to take self-responsibility by resisting the urge to react or intervene in their experiences.

I thought, to celebrate the start of this new calendar year, you might like to break free from that pattern too, if it sounds familiar.

Let me show you how!

what is enabling?

Enabling is like being someone’s personal life jacket—except they’re perfectly capable of swimming, and now you’re both exhausted. 

It’s when you step in to solve someone else’s problems, fix their mistakes, or shield them from the natural consequences of their actions. At first, it feels helpful (you’re just being a good friend/partner/parent, right?), but over time, it creates a pattern where they lean on you instead of stepping up. Meanwhile, you’re left wondering why you’re so drained and why they’re not learning to handle their own stuff. Sound familiar?

Enabling can feel like love wrapped in concern, but it often hides a deeper fear: that they might fail or face discomfort. By stepping in, you may inadvertently steal the opportunity for them to grow and build resilience. 

Think of it this way: if you’re always the one baking the cake, how will they ever learn to crack an egg?

what you’re responsible for

(aka: The “Handle Your Own Stuff” List)

1. Your health and healing.
Nobody else can drink your green smoothie, book your therapy appointment, or stretch out that lower back. Sure, someone can suggest a healthier routine or offer support, but it’s on you to make the choices that support your well-being. Pro tip: Own it, and celebrate even the smallest steps forward.

2. Your decisions.
Ever agreed to something you didn’t want to do, then fumed about it later? That’s on you, my friend. Whether it’s choosing a new career path or deciding not to answer a 10 p.m. text, your decisions are yours to make. The beauty here? You’re in charge—even if you make a mistake, you get to learn from it.

3. Your commitments.
Said you’d do something? Then do it, or renegotiate with honesty. If you promised to help with a project but now realize you’re overwhelmed, it’s your responsibility to speak up. Holding your word—or adjusting it with integrity—is the backbone of trust.

4. Your relationships.
Every relationship is a two-way street, but you’re responsible for your lane. That means communicating honestly, owning your role in conflicts, and recognising when it’s time to pour in love—or to step away. It also means not projecting your expectations onto someone else (ouch, I know).

5. Your personal space.
From the clutter in your home to the vibe you create, your environment reflects how you care for yourself. Whether it’s finally tackling that junk drawer or adding a candle that makes your living room feel like a spa, this one’s all on you. And yes, this includes asking for help when needed.

6. Your personal growth.
Change doesn’t arrive on your doorstep like a surprise Amazon package. If you’re stuck, it’s on you to take the first step. Whether it’s seeking guidance, ending something toxic, or starting that hobby you’ve been talking about for years, you’re the one who needs to pull the trigger.

7. Your happiness.
Waiting for someone else to make you happy is like waiting for your cat to clean the litter box. Danger-baby isn’t doing it, and neither is anyone else. The secret? You’re fully capable of creating joy for yourself—start small and watch it grow.

what you’re not responsible for

(aka: The “Put That Down, It’s Not Yours” List)

1. Someone else’s healing.
You can offer a supportive hand, share tools, or hold space, but you’re not their healer. Whether it’s a friend processing heartbreak or a sibling stuck in their patterns, their healing journey belongs to them. Trying to take it on will only drain you both.

2. Their decisions.
Ever tried to “fix” someone’s choices because you can’t bear to watch them struggle? Let it go. Your advice (when invited) is valuable, but you’re not the director of someone else’s life. Let them call the shots—and learn from the consequences.

3. Their happiness.
No matter how much you love someone, you can’t fill the gaps in their joy. Whether it’s a partner, child, or friend, their contentment is their own work. Yours is to love and support them, not to carry the responsibility for their inner world.

4. Their messes (literal or metaphorical).
If they didn’t pay their parking ticket, left dishes in the sink, or caused drama at work, that’s their mess to clean. If you’re always stepping in to save the day, you’re robbing them of the chance to grow and take ownership of their actions.

5. Their learning process.
Growth is a beautiful, messy thing, and everyone’s path looks different. Trying to micromanage someone’s progress (or save them from mistakes) isn’t helping—it’s holding them back. Trust their ability to figure it out—they’ll thank you later.

let’s get real: a quick example

You’ve got a friend who’s always late. Every. Single. Time. You try “helping” by texting reminders, calling them 15 minutes beforehand, or even picking them up. Guess what? They’re still late. You’re exhausted, they’re still tardy, and now you’re resentful. Why? Because you’re trying to fix something that’s not yours to fix.

Instead, take a step back. Let them be late. If it means missing the movie previews or skipping the event, so be it. They’ll either learn the value of punctuality—or not. Either way, it’s not your circus, not your monkeys.

how to tell if you’re enabling

Ask yourself:

• Do I feel drained every time I help?
• Am I more invested in their success than they are?
• Is this something they could reasonably handle themselves?

If the answer is yes, you’re likely enabling.

letting go is the best gift

When you stop enabling, you give others the chance to grow. 

You also free up your own energy to focus on what is yours. Imagine how much lighter you’ll feel when you stop carrying someone else’s load.

As we step into 2025, I invite you to honour your energy. 

Set boundaries, embrace personal responsibility, and let others do the same.

An end-of-year wrap up including a journey through 3 continents, my biggest lessons, 4 free life-changing courses for you & raw answers to your most asked questions.

I began 2024 floating in the South Atlantic Ocean off the African coast, deliberately empty of resolutions. No intentions. No ‘word of the year.’ No lofty ambitions to chase. Just a simple commitment to living life fully, moment by moment.

Life, as it turned out, had its own master plan. My role was simply to keep saying “yes” – applying the wisdom I’d shared in pieces like “cycle girlie” along the way.

Before I knew it, I found myself as a caregiver to two small boys, trudging through muddy, enchanted forests in the U.K. for six months. It was messy, beautiful, and completely unexpected.

Driven by my deepening desire to embrace idleness – a conscious rebellion against hustle culture, urgency addiction, and capitalism’s endless demands – I veered toward Spain. But life had other plans. Two weeks of confronting patriarchal structures (which, yes, thoroughly sucked) somehow landed me in Sicily’s warm embrace.

Then came another sharp turn: Portugal. And within two weeks, as if life was orchestrating a romance novel, I fell in love.

Looking back, I realise that some years aren’t meant for vision boards and carefully plotted goals. 

Some years are cosmic dance lessons, where life itself becomes the choreographer. The magic happens when I loosen my grip on carefully constructed plans and allow myself to be carried by life’s current. 

Every unexpected turn – from African shores to English forests, from Spanish confrontations to Portuguese romance – was a reminder that life’s wisdom far exceeds my limited imagination of what’s possible. 

When I surrender to this flow, I find myself exactly where I need to be, even if it’s nowhere I ever planned to go. And yet, this surrender to life’s flow has led me to perfect clarity about what’s next. 

As 2025 approaches, I’m filled with electric excitement about bold new directions — particularly a complete reimagining of my business structures — and the pursuit of new dreams. 

Watch this space! I am delighted to take you with me on this journey.

I needed to let go completely to discover what truly sets my soul on fire. That’s exactly what 2024 taught me, and now I’m ready to chase the visions that make my heart race and my spirit soar.

Speaking of which, I want to invite you to join me as we turn the page into a new calendar year.

I’ve made four of my transformative courses freely available on YouTube for you:

SOVEREIGN – A 6-part liberation journey designed to help you break free from limiting beliefs and patterns. Using four simple steps, you’ll learn to identify and clear the blocks holding you back. *If you’re ready to claim your freedom, this class is calling your name.*

INTUIMETHOD – This 15-day interactive experience is your practical guide to mastering intuition and universal connection. Through daily videos, you’ll develop a reliable method for accessing, trusting, and acting on your inner wisdom while tackling the core obstacles between you and your soul’s path.

ON PURPOSE – Forget searching for purpose – let’s find aliveness instead. This masterclass offers a refreshing 4-step process to discover meaning in your life. Because the real question isn’t “What’s my purpose?” but “How can I live with deeper significance?”

PAUSE & PIVOT – An 8-lesson journey into creating your own graceful daily routine. Learn how to align your daily practices with your core values and non-negotiables, understanding that different days call for different approaches to life.

And for those of you feeling called to bring more magic and intention into your daily life – I have something close to my heart for you. 

My beloved Plannher…

a planner-and-journal-in one specifically designed for the intuitive, magical woman you are, is available in its final print run. This isn’t just another planner – it’s a sacred space for your dreams, your intuitive hits, your magical moments, and your practical plans to weave together.

I won’t be creating more once this batch finds their homes, so if you’ve been feeling that nudge to elevate how you plan and dream… this is your moment. 

As we stand on the threshold of a new year, gifting yourself this tool is more than a purchase – it’s a commitment to your future self, a declaration that you’re ready to plan with both purpose and magic.

Reply here or DM me for yours.

your questions answered

Recently, I opened up my Instagram for an AMA (Ask Me Anything), and your questions touched me deeply. They reflect so much of what we’re all navigating – from setting intentions mindfully to finding love, from moving through grief to embracing self-compassion. 

Here are my thoughts on some of these beautiful questions…

1. On Setting Intentions for 2025

“How can we set intentions about how we want to feel in 2025, rather than just making resolutions?”

Instead of creating a rigid list of goals, try this: Close your eyes and imagine yourself on December 31st, 2025. How do you want to feel in your body, your spirit, your relationships? What sensations do you want to experience daily? Maybe it’s feeling grounded and peaceful, or perhaps alive and electric with creativity. Let these desired feelings guide your choices rather than external measures of success.

2. On Trust and Surrender

“Can you speak about letting go of expectations and trusting the path?”

Letting go of expectations has been my greatest teacher this year. Trust isn’t about knowing the outcome – it’s about believing in your ability to handle whatever comes. Start small: practice releasing control in tiny moments, notice how life flows more easily when you loosen your grip. The path reveals itself one step at a time.

3. On Navigating Grief

“How do you move through grief during the holiday season?”

Grief during the holidays feels especially heavy because joy and sorrow dance so closely together. Honour your grief as a reflection of your love. Create small rituals to acknowledge both what was and what is. Light a candle, write letters, cry when you need to. Remember that healing isn’t linear – some days will be harder than others, and that’s perfectly okay.

4. On Writing Practice

“Any advice for starting and growing a writing practice?”

Start before you feel ready. Write for yourself first, without judgment. Set aside sacred time – even just 10 minutes daily – where you meet yourself on the page. Don’t edit as you write; let it flow raw and real. Your voice will emerge naturally through consistency and courage.

You might also enjoy my article: everything I know about how to write…

5. On Finding Love

“Would you share your journey of finding love?”

After focusing on my relationship with myself, nurturing my own growth, and getting clear about my non-negotiables, love appeared naturally. Not as a chase or a game, but as a recognition of souls. I’ll devote a longer article on this in the future.

6. On Course Creation

“What’s your biggest lesson after years of creating courses?”

The biggest lesson? Authenticity over perfection, always. People don’t connect with polished perfection – they connect with genuine sharing, with vulnerability, with real stories of transformation. Every course I’ve created has taught me to trust my unique way of seeing and sharing.

7. On Life’s Flow

“How do you relax into just trusting life and yourself? How do you find the confidence to believe that life feels good?”

It’s a daily practice of choosing trust over fear. Build evidence: keep a journal of all the times life worked out better than you could have planned. Notice the synchronicities, the “coincidences,” the magical moments that arise when you relax into flow. Your confidence in life’s goodness grows with each recognized blessing. 

I share more on this here: how I taught myself to make my own life; here: let go of control: body leads, mind follows; here: not ready; and here: not yet.

8. On Healing and Love

“Can you speak about finding true love after disappointment and big heartbreak?”

Upon request, I have many articles on this topic including: I’ve been heartbroken many times and a 28-step guide to heartbreak 💔

Heartbreak can be our greatest teacher if we let it. Each disappointment helped me refine what I truly wanted and needed in love. The key is not to close your heart but to keep it open while raising your standards. True love often arrives when we’ve done the work of loving ourselves through the healing process.

Before I wrap this up, I want to pour my heart out to you. 

Your presence here, reading these words, sharing this journey – it means everything. The dreams and visions I have brewing for what’s ahead make my heart race with excitement. I can’t wait to unfold them with you, to share all that’s been growing in my mind and heart. 

This is just the beginning of something beautiful, and I’m so grateful you’re here for it.