
Growing older is such a luxury and honour. Every year I become more myself, stronger, softer, wiser, kinder, happier, I let go of and move with things easier. This year was one of my favourite birthdays yet surrounded by friends, new and old, by the sea in the sun, laughing a lot.
There’s a really powerful shift that happens when you embrace exactly where you are. No chasing other things/places/people. Not wishing they were different. Fully allowing yourself to be exactly where you are and celebrating the eternal motion of life.
When people ask me what’s next my answer is always “I’m enjoying what’s right in front of me. That’s where I believe life gets really good.”
At 39 I have lost the care for counting years in numbers. Instead, I want to count the number of times my heart swelled with love, the times I lived fully in rapturous joy, the times I broke down in tears and fell apart entirely succeeded by a new version of myself. I want to measure my life by my ability to stay soft when things are hard, to approach things gently when they are sharp, and to choose trust and tenderness in any conditions.
Over my lifetime I developed a high resilience for uncertainty. At first by circumstance and later by choice and further on by habit I chose uncertainty in my home environment, in my work, in finances, in relationships. The more I stripped away at the external sense of certainties the more effectively I was able to anchor myself in my centre letting go of the illusion that anything is for sure.
Over the past 2 years, the rebuilding began for me. It feels so good to be able to create and fully grasp this physical life in both hands without attachment, treading through it lightly. Once nothing was left I had everything to play with without the illusion is that things are solid in their certainty.
It is an illusion that has melted for many of us this year.
There was an innocence to the beginning of this year that none of us can ever reclaim. A hopeful naivety. We were invincible in our optimism that things would continue the way we know them. There was no hint of how the year would unfurl. No evidence of the ways it was yet to break us open and the ways we would have to stitch ourselves back together again, never quite the same as before.
While not much makes sense right now I know that this is happening for us. It’s a coming of age for all of us as a society. A chance to strip away the stuff that made our foundations weak and crippled our society. An opportunity to burn it all down. We are creating space to rebuild a new way of life.
I feel so strongly that the air is thick with thousands of new different ideas and new ways of living and doing life right now. So much is coming through.
We are being propelled forward. We don’t have time to indulge in the unhelpful dogmatics like our fears and pity ourselves or play the victim game. We have to continuously clear all the ego-debris that comes up along the way to keep the space open and be a clear channel for what needs to come through.
These past months and those going forward I am keeping tremendous amounts of time and space open for me to hear the new ideas, concepts and ways of being to allow them to drop in so they can move through me.
One of the huge pieces that I feel is being released collectively right now came through yesterday around working hard and doing things that create socially valued results and how we can start doing work and showing up in a way that is entirely new. I think the concept of jobs as we have known them is starting to fall away.
Ultimately amongst all this, I feel a sense of vulnerable patience knowing what really matters is moving with this stream of the unfolding of my life and trusting that while we don’t know what is next, or how it is all going to pass, it is all exactly as it should be.
This is 39. I like it here.
From previous years:
This is 38.
This is 37.
This is 36.
Photo by Ste Marques
Author: vienda
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This is 39.
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5 fiction books that changed me
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When I was a child dragonflies, mermaids and mystical lakes were the epitome of my reality. I escaped into the magical world of books as often as I could devouring whole volumes in a few short days.
I spent so many nights imagining my own worlds into existence. Worlds where I was heroic and special. Where there were no abusive stepfathers or bullies, just monsters I fought and won.
I believed in the world those books opened doors to and couldn’t wait to be a part of them. They gave me the strength and the vision to create a life of my own.
As I grew up books offered me a different kind of solace. A body of work to refer to when even I didn’t understand my own point of view. Beliefs made up of intuitive, instinctual feelings face with a world demanding proof and evidence and science when I had nothing tangible to base them on.
Over the years I’ve collected a small body of stories that offered me a perspective that struck me with an intimacy too compelling to ignore and left me changed, forever.
Yesterday some new books arrived in the mail, ones I’ve heard great things about and can’t wait to sink my imagination into. While I do I felt to share the ones I’ve already loved so far. These are those:
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Atlas Shrugged
I read it while travelling around Eastern Europe in the summer of 2018, my heart reeling from a recent breakup, and aching for a new world. Atlas Shrugged is a 1957 novel by Ayn Rand â about a dystopian United States in which the greedy capitalist society starts to unravel â revealing the tricksters shuffling papers under the guise of work and stuffing their pockets at the loss of ‘the people’. Sounds kind of familiar, does it not? The theme of Atlas Shrugged, as Rand described it, is “the role of man’s mind in existence”. The book explores a number of philosophical themes and expresses the advocacy of reason, individualism, and capitalism, and the failures of governmental coercion. Years later I still think about the close parallels this 50-year old book depicts our present experiences. It took me a while to get into it but once it captured me I couldn’t put it down and left me thinking about our reality in an entirely new way.
Siddhartha
A novel by Hermann Hesse that an ex-boyfriend gave to me in my early twenties while I was studying at university that ultimately set in motion my own spiritual journey of self-discovery alongside that of a man named Siddhartha during the time of the Gautama Buddha. The book, Hesse’s ninth novel, originally written in German, in a simple, lyrical style eluding with messages that are essential universal spiritual laws. Siddhartha replies that for every true statement there is an opposite one that is also true; that language and the confines of time lead people to adhere to one fixed belief that does not account for the fullness of the truth. That, because nature works in a self-sustaining cycle, every entity carries in it the potential for its opposite and so the world must always be considered complete. Siddhartha simply urges people to identify and love the world in its completeness.
The Night Circus
Le Cirque des RĂŞves (The Circus of Dreams) has no set schedule, appearing without warning and leaving without notice; moving from place to place in a train disguised as an ordinary coal transport â this is a phantasmagorical fairy tale set near an ahistorical Victorian London in a wandering magical circus that is open only from sunset to sunrise â with such a staggering level of imagination that imprinted in my mind the exceptional limitless of possibility. There’s drama, romance, mystery and of course, every possible kind of magic you can conceive.
Fugitive Pieces
Titled after Lord Byron’s first volume of verse, the poetic style of narrative had me stop to gasp and re-read whole pages as I allowed the melody of the words to sink into my body. A story of trauma, grief, loss, and memory in relation to the Holocaust, explored via metaphors of nature told through two narratives, in the first part, Jakob’s, then in the second part, Ben’s, which are connected through one main event that had an effect on both narrators. There is this visceral understanding of the layering effect of life as it is lived that left me awe-struck.
The Reader
She takes this child, barely a man as a lover, she â a fully grown woman â and he, teaches her to read and write and yet never learns her name. I think the vulnerable and volatile nature of humanity really comes through in this book, a parable, dealing with the difficulties post-war German generations have had comprehending the Holocaustexploring how the post-war generations approach the future while also honouring the trauma and impact that the past had left on everyone. I watched the film after I read the book and enjoyed it though in my imagination Hanna never looked like Kate Winslet. -
3 ways to make real Mexican cacao [chocolÄtl] at home
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The history of cacao [chocolÄtl] began in Southern Mexico sometime in 450 BC.
The Aztecs believed that cacao seeds were the gift of Quetzalcoatl â a feathered serpent â who was connected to the planet Venus. Perhaps that is why, alongside its large quantities of magnesium, cacao is considered to open one’s heart. Originally prepared only as a drink, chocolate was served as a bitter liquid, mixed with spices or corn puree. It was believed to be an aphrodisiac and to give the drinker strength.
When the Spanish arrived in the 16th century, they didn’t like the bitter taste and added sugar, and made it a fashionable drink amongst high society.
Cacao is the unprocessed raw cacao bean, ground into a sort of paste that then looks like chunks of chocolate. Most people are familiar only with cocoa, the processed and roasted version that usually comes in a powder or store-bought chocolate which is the powder mixed with fats, sugar and flavours.
When I first moved to Mexico in 2018 I was pleased to discover how easy it was to purchase locally-grown cacao. Being caffeine sensitive but loving the ritualistic motions of making a hot beverage in the mornings’ cacao is one of my favourite go-to’s.
Since I am asked so often how I make my cacao, here are 3 ways to make real Mexican cacao [chocolÄtl] at home.
Morning Beauty Cacao
The perfect ritual to start to the day and bring presence, mindfulness and connection as well as some beauty-enhancing ingredients into the mix.
20g (2 tbs) cacao paste (I chop it up and put it in a jar for when I want to use it) / 1 cup of filtered water / placed in a small pot on the stove / heat / a pinch of sea salt / a pinch of chilli powder / pour into a blender / a dash of vanilla essence / a scoop of collagen powder / blend until smooth and frothy.
I like adding adaptogens. Beauty Blend and Mason’s Mushrooms are my favourites. You get 10% off using this link.
Love Spell Cacao
For any of the 3: self-love or to give love to someone or encourage someone to fall in love with you, this love spell cacao drink works.
1 cup of filtered water / placed in a small pot on the stove / heat / 1 tsp cinnamon / / 1 tsp sprinkle of organic edible dried rose petals / 1 crushed cardamom pod / pour into a blender / 1/2 tsp ‘I Am Gaia’ powder / blend until smooth and frothy.
Ceremonial Cacao
You don’t have to wait to go to a cacao ceremony to create your own ceremonial cacao for deep connection, meditation and practice.
30â40g cacao paste / 1 cup of filtered water / placed in a small pot on the stove / heat / 1/2 tsp cinnamon / pinch of cayenne / pour into a blender / blend until smooth and frothy.
If sharing in ceremony, you can gently reheat the blended mix on the stove when youâre ready to serve.
Always keep on low heat and never let the cacao come to a boil as this changes its molecular structure and the way our bodies are able to absorb its nutrients.Try cacao unsweetened for a deeper, potent dose. Cacaoâs bitter medicine is good for us… For added sweetness, I recommend adding raw honey.
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A spiritual + sustainable Christmas with Ojo de Dios

For some reason, the title reminds me of “under God’s eye” from The Handmaids Tale. Besides all the patriarchal domination “blessed be!” should be a daily greeting in my opinion.
In this case, however, Ojo de Dios or God’s eye is a ritual tool that is used for protection â a magical object â and an ancient cultural symbol evoking the weaving motif and its spiritual associations for the Huichol and Tepehuan Indians of western Mexico. The Huichol call their God’s Eyes Sikuli, which means “the power to see and understand things unknown.”
Ojo de Dios is a spiritual and votive object made by weaving a design out of yarn upon a wooden cross used and made by both Indigenous and Catholic peoples.
I was inspired by one of my many visits to Sayulita, always astounded by the many beautiful colours of the Ojo de Dios flapping in the wind against the bright blue skies, that I decided to make some myself and give them away as Christmas presents. Each one holds a precious little mantra that I sing as I weave to protect the receiver from the things he or she cannot see that may harm them.
How to have a very spiritual + sustainable Christmas with Ojo de Dios (God’s eye):

- Collect driftwood from your nearby beach or fallen sticks from a nearby forest.
- Choose a colour combination you like and purchase wool. Sometimes charity shops have wool leftovers so it’s worth checking there. Being in a developing country means that these sorts of things rarely go to waste so that’s not an option for me.
- Make a cross with two similarily shaped and long pieces of wood, and then tie then with a cross knot.
- Wind the wool around the first stick then across to the next one and around, and so on, and so forth until a pattern emerges.
- Change colours and how you want.
- Tie them together or keep them separate. It’s up to you!
- For my gifts, I’ve painted rainbows on watercolour board and folded them in half to serve as cards and tied 3 Ojos de Dios together to make a wall hanging for my friends.
- Wrap them in any leftover paper, newspaper or put them in fabric bags to give away.
Enjoy!

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Help! Iâm obsessed with my cat.


I used to judge people who openly were compulsively obsessed with their furry friends. I judged them because I had no idea how you could completely lose yourself to an animal in that way.
Then, one day, in April 2019 a woman left a little kitten with me to foster while she found him a permanent home. I was clear with her: I could only keep him for 2 months at the most. I had plans and flights booked and furry beings didn’t fit into those. I gave him a home, named him Danger Zone, googled about kitty-litter and cat-development and played with him knowing that I’d have to give him up soon.
At 2 months when I hadn’t heard anything from his original owner I contacted her “How’s the forever-home search going?” She never replied. And then literally disappeared. I half-heartedly began to reach out and search for someone who could take him, convincing myself that it was best for him (and me). In the meantime I found cat-sitters to stay in my home while I went on my trips.
But something had happened… Somewhere along the way, I have become one of those people. I’m completely obsessed with my cat. He pre-occupies my mind all the time and I miss him when we are apart for more than 8 hours.
It’s the way he reaches out his paws to touch my toes when I’m standing by the basin to do my makeup or at the sink to wash the dishes or hold my hand when I’m working and the way he throws his entire body onto mine so as much of us is touching whenever I am still long enough, and the way he rests his little head on one ankle and stretches his back paws out to touch the other while I’m sleeping, and the way he cries at the door when he hears me coming home, and the way he looks at me, with this deeply devoted love when I kiss his little nose, and the way he nips me when I’ve gone away too long, to let me know that he’s not pleased… Somewhere in there, he has completely captured every piece of my heart and wrapped it around his silky little paws.
On my last return, things changed. I made one final attempt to find him another home. And found myself completely depressed and in tears the entire time. I surrendered to this new love of mine and completely accepted that he is to be part of my life from now on. And it changed everything.
There’s science behind this inexplicable obsession with my cat.
Cats are, by nature wild and a product of natural and not artificial, selection â they domesticated themselves â choosing humans to live with. Unlike dogs, cats arenât programmed to please people. They choose you which explains why cat people seem to have an incredibly deep bond with their pets. It means that when cats give and receive affection, itâs not necessarily in exchange for food or because their DNA is hardwired to do so. Itâs because, like humans, they feel inspired to express it.
I have always known it but now am not afraid to proudly say, I am 100% a cat person. A renowned study by psychologist Samuel Gosling examined personality traits of people who label themselves âdog peopleâ and âcat people,â and found that cat-lovers tended to be less cooperative, compassionate, and outgoing than those who dig dogs and tended toward more anxiety and depression. Cat people were also found to be more artistic and intellectually curious than dog people.
Danger has taught me so much about life and love. I see him as a divine teacher. “The Egyptians looked at the cat the same way they looked at everything, as a way to explain and personify the universe,” explains Egyptologist Melinda Hartwig. They saw cats as spiritual protectors of the astral plane and powerful healers.
Also, he’s magical. Since ancient times, cats have been a vital part of the magical arts and have left their mark on the world of divination, folk healing, and occult sciences. So much so that all over Europe across the 11th century, the Catholic Church tortured and executed cat owners for witchery.
And so I find myself in a curious position where my life has expanded to hold both of us. Next year we are moving together, a journey that heightens my anxiety as I navigate the challenges that bringing and Mexican cat to Europe entails and worry that he will hate this journey with the hope that he survives it. His flights are booked, the airline-specific cat-crate purchased and lined with sheepskin, his pet-passport is on the way and micro-chip and rabies vaccine soon to be inserted. All this extra effort because my heart has been stretched wide with a new obsessive kind of love.
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How to combine structure (planning + systems) with intuitive living.

There exists in the world, the strange paradoxical belief that living an intuitive life requires one to be reckless and flighty. That structure cannot coexist with intuitive flow. That planning leaves no room for spontaneity. I know, because I used to believe all those things. But not anymore.
Here’s what I know.
Intuitive living and structure are two parts of the whole: they are the yin yang of life, they represent the feminine and masculine aspects that live within each of us.
The reason for the paradox that these two ends of the spectrum cannot coexist lies in the fact that most people haven’t yet learned how to marry their own inner masculine and feminine. Most people are out of balance too far in one or the other direction.
When we want to learn how to fluidly move between our own inner intuitive wisdom within the secure container of structure, we have to learn how to integrate and use both aspects. Here is a great example:

What I’ve learned over the years with plenty of trial and error is that when we use the masculine container of structure = more freedom to flow and live intuitively within that container.
It’s very much like relationships. A man/masculine energy in the relationship brings in structure that allows the woman/feminine energy in the relationship to bring in the intuitive flow. This way we steer the ship/life/business together in unity and harmony
But hereâs the thing: everyone is living according to a system. And every system is perfect for the result it gets.
Here’s how I do it. (I am still learning, also.)
I create a soft structure:
â My clients are automatically scheduled into my calendar two days a week that are carved out specifically for private clients.
â I have a practice where I outline a vision for the year and then every 3 months revisit it and refine and rewrite it.
â I work with the energy of the days of the week to give my weekdays are container within which to work in.
â I set monthly intentions for my work, my personal life and finances every New Moon.
â I write weekly ‘to-do’ lists that keep me on track.
â I’m incredibly disciplined and focused.
I leave room for flow:
â I have no set routines and no hard rules around what I must do and when.
â The only commitments I absolutely adhere to are the appointments with clients in my calendar.
â I use my IntuiMethod system to stay on track with how I feel and what I need on a moment-to-moment basis.
â I prioritise rest, nature, connection and love over “productivity” and recognise that a lot of the extra work we place upon ourselves isn’t effective and doesn’t create any results beyond feeding your ego with the notion that being “busy” means you are worthy and valuable.
â I let go of things, often and easily, over and over again.
What works is to use habits, routines, and structure to create a system for yourself that supports you in your dreams and endeavours (creating a masculine container) and then allowing the power of momentum and habits to kick in to make trusting your intuition the focus as you move through your life within your system.
The issue is that most people have learned to use structure and planning as a crutch, not to support their system and lives, but as a way to feel in control and micromanage the details because they haven’t learned to develop self-trust and trust in the universe and the bigger picture. Learning to relax into the unknown and hear and respond to the intuitive nudges that are with you all day long, opens up space for possibilities that you could never plan or imagine, to fall into place.
To understand this approach, join me for IntuiMethod: my 15-day course into living an intuitively-led life.
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This is how I meditate.

Some days my meditation feels like hungrily sucking on a motherâs teet, sometimes it feels like an unsettled turbulent engagement where I just canât seem to connect, sometimes itâs sweet and feels like milk and honey, sometimes itâs filled with epiphanies and wisdom, sometimes itâs empty and quiet, sometimes itâs satisfying, sometimes itâs agitating.
Every day, meeting myself in meditation and connecting to the limitless universe looks and feels different. Iâve been meditating for 15 years now. Some years devotedly, daily. Some years halfheartedly, weekly. This year I recommitted to my practice and itâs true what they say: you get what you put in. Iâve celebrated a homecoming, a sense of belonging and a new level of self-awareness this year, that makes staying present and centred the only thing o need to do each day.Â
I’ve met parts of myself I’ve never know existed before and it’s intoxicating. It’s true what they say that the entire universe exists within you. The landscape of exploration is as infinite within as it is without.
I think meditation has become another commodity. Another “thing” to check off the list of things to do to be a perfect being so you can be worthy of existence. Lol. That entire statement is ego bs that we are wanting to transcend through meditation and yet ego has used this very tool to keep you stuck in navigating the superficial landscapes that our world is made up of.
I want to simplify meditation by sharing with you how I meditate. Because I want you to see that you don’t need to do or be anything to meet your self there.
- I like to meditate when I first wake up while my mind is still and quiet, so I either stretch out in my bed or reposition the pillows behind me and sit up.
- I breathe deeply and centre myself into my body.
- My focus is on feeling the body and keeping my attention away from my mental narrative and instead on how I feel.
- Over and over as my mind wanders I bring myself back to how I feel.
- Eventually, sometimes within a few minutes, sometimes not for 20 minutes, I hit the sweet spot. That space of complete unity, surrender… a feeling of having arrived.
- The journey there can be scattered, agitated, restless. It can also be sweet, smooth, easy. Sometimes it feels fluid, sometimes it feels full of resistance. It doesn’t matter how I get there. That’s just part of moving past the mind.
- And then I stay. I stay and I sit there until I feel full.
- There are no expectations, no “getting something” or “results”.
- It is what it is. It’s different every time.
That’s it.
Over time, you meet yourself in this space. You get visions and epiphanies sometimes. You get to escape the agitations of life sometimes. You get to just be still for a minute sometimes. Most of all, you get to know your truth, your authentic self, in this space. And that is the best feeling of them all.
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What happens when you outgrow a relationship

I laced up my black trainers while simultaneously texting a WhatsApp message. “Iâm running a tiny bit late… time just ran away with me! If I leave now itâll take me about an hour to get to you. Does that still work for you?” Rosie responded, “Okay why donât I meet you halfway at Dalston, then we can walk down the canal to Victoria Park back towards mine.”
Rosie is a journalist, and one of the most thoughtful, intelligent and considered women I know. And she’s a prolific, well-balanced writer. Her monthly emails are amongst the very small handful that I am subscribed to and actually read. A few years ago she interviewed me for an article titled ‘Life coaches on Instagram break the first rule of therapy â that’s why it works’.
We remained friends and, whenever I’m in London, make an effort to catch up.
“Can I ask about what’s going on in your love life?” she asked, eventually, inevitably. We spoke about the brief 3-month relationship I had been in recently, and how it didn’t quite support my natural independence and freedom-focused values. Somehow we moved on to the relationship before that; the one where we bought a house together and made life-plans. The one where I learned that love is not enough.
“You were so brave to leave,” she said. “Not really,” I responded “It was more like choosing between life and death. I was like a plant wilting, slowly dying. I had to choose life.”
For someone (me) who has dedicated their life to growth and expansion, in ways that are unfamiliar to others, I explained that I felt suffocated and like I was forced to contract in both recent relationships. Both of them gave me what I needed at that moment, they taught me lessons and shone a light on things that I needed to see, in the particular context that they were shown to me. The recent one distinctly revealed to me the areas in my life where I was playing small, believing that I needed the support of a partner to make certain big life decisions, and holding back in my creativity and my work.
The way I see it, I explained, is that each person has a particular sized container within which they feel safe and comfortable in, to be themselves with another. That container is determined by their upbringing, their conditioning, and their personal life experiences and life choices. Women require a man who can hold a container small enough for a woman to feel secure and big enough to give her space to explore, grow and experience herself in.

John Wineland articulates this beautifully when he says that it’s a deep responsibility, to hold a woman. He gives voice to 3 key factors to be able to do so:- Breathe deeper than she does.
- Get stiller (develop your inner stillness) than she does.
- Get wider than she is, so she can feel the infinite.
My ‘container’ has exceptional breadth and depth. I’ve spent the past 15 years dedicated to exploring the limitlessness of myself and how I can create a life that reflects the vastness of our Universe. Some would say that I have no limits, but that’s no true. I know where the boundaries lie: in the areas that I am still peeling away the layers of myself.
It will take someone truly exceptional to hold that kind of space for me. It’s something that I am willing to be patient for.
Outgrowing a relationship is a sign that your container is expanding. Neither partner is wrong. Rather each partner is working within the confines of what they consider safe, and how much they value their own limitlessness and expansion. Sometimes we grow together. And sometimes we grow apart.
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7 simple shifts to have more money (that anyone can do).

Recently, after returning from a whirlwind trip to the UK, I thought a lot about how wildly different everyone’s relationship with money is and how broadly the topic of money is viewed. The UK, one of the wealthiest countries in the world, is a great example of how the most affluent and the poorest people in one country, live side by side.
After I came back, I reflected on what kind of life I want to live and what that means to me in terms of financial wealth and affluence. I’ve already told you the money story that kept me in poverty for 10 years and shared with you all my numbers and how I’ve transformed my personal relationship with money in my 13-part video course Affluent. But I’ve not really revealed how much money I think I need or want to have, now.
I like to live something that I call a “high/low life experience”.
High = luxuriant, opulent, rich, expensive and expansive experiences â those that cost a lot of money. Low =  cost-free, natural, simple, modest and inexpensive experiences â those that aren’t about money but about appreciating what exists outside the consumer-driven culture I live in. I like to salt-and-pepper these experiences throughout my days, weeks and life. I also prefer to choose high-quality, expensive and long-lasting things occasionally over cheap, inexpensive things with questionable ethics in their production. Which is how I put together my capsule wardrobe.
For me it’s less about money and more about creating contrast and variety. Do I value an opulent hotel overlooking a cityscape over a night spent in an economic bungalow underneath the stars? No. They are both beautiful, enriching experiences that offer me a sense of connection with different parts of myself and the world. Do I prefer name brands over high-street brands? No. I want to feel beautiful and good in what I use and wear and make purchases based on material, cut and quality.
As someone who highly values choices and freedom, having more than enough money to offer me the freedom of choice is vital to me. I’ve come to the conclusion that my next benchmark aim is to make a profit of ÂŁ100,000 GBP (because that’s the currency of my bank accounts) within the next financial year.
One of the lessons I teach in Affluent is stating your desired level of financial wealth. Once it’s out and in the world to see, it becomes real so much more quickly. I’ve seen this to be true time and time again.
One of the other things I teach is that it’s not about money, but rather your relationship with money that impacts how much you have in your bank account. To get started towards my aim, here are 7 simple shifts I’ve integrated into my life to have more money (that anyone can do).
â Pay attention to the habitual programming you have around money, deservability and self-worth. Something that really helps is to ask yourself and even journal around sticky points: “Is this my truth or my programming?” As soon as you shine the light of awareness on it, you have room to make a new decision and change. If that wasn’t your truth but programming, how would you act? Do that.
â Be prepared to dissolve the belief that to be worthy of good things, and financial ease and abundance in your life, you have to pay with feeling burned out. Acting from fight or flight adrenalin mode isn’t serving you (or your work or your worth or anything else). Instead, it’s time to start trusting yourself, life and your ability to attract everything you need and be supported in who you are.
â Start a Monthly Money Tracking practice where you have a little notebook (one that you really like :) and write the month at the top, and track every single penny, gift, payment and piece of abundance that comes your way. This practice shifts your focus from what you lack and don’t have enough of, to what you have and what you are receiving: from desperation to abundance. It takes a few months but it will shift everything for you.
â Make friends with your money. Appreciate what you have, look at your accounts daily with equanimity, and pay attention to the emotional responses you have to spending money, owing money, receiving money and so on. Money is an inanimate object and yet we give it SO MUCH POWER through our emotional responses to it. Money is energy and it responds to feelings of high self-worth. The better your relationship with money, the more you like it and embrace it, instead of fear it and blame it for the troubles in your life, the more you attract it.
â Money loves movement. It loves being responded to and it loves speed. Every time you avoid money (by not saying “yes” to opportunities that offer you money) it will avoid you too. Start to respond to money with speed, make making money a priority and look at the beliefs that pop up when you think about it this way. Do you feel resistance to admitting that you want money and would like more of it? Don’ feel shame for wanting money. It’s the same as wanting anything: food, water, sunshine, love.
â Open a savings account that you commit to putting 10% of your earning into for the rest of this year. You need to prove to yourself and money that you can take care of it, that is safe with you, and that you are a responsible custodian. Pay yourself first, before all the bills. I know it may feel scary because you think “but I need that money to pay for my necessities!” but if you want your money circumstances to change, YOU have to change, first.
â Start a rolling manifestation list where you put down the things that you want in your life. Salt and pepper it with big and little things, and release the expectation around how it will show up. Whenever your self-worth matches the thing on your list, it will show up for you, so your job is really just to raise your self-worth by doing things that feel good and stretching yourself by saying “yes” to more. This is meant to be fun and playful as you get to exercise your imagination and stretch your ability to want and ask for (instead of playing small).
Want to join me in meeting a really BIG financial goal? Come, enrol in Affluent.
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The money story that kept me in poverty for 10 years

All the way until my early 30âs I believed the lie that money somehow made people evil, that it was toooooo haaard to deal with and that I just didnât really understand the whole financial system. I spiritually bi-passed it taking the âhigherâ route aka self-sabotaging by ignoring it, hoping that someone would come and rescue me (ahem, knight in shining armour, where are you?) and âtrusting the universeâ that it would sort me out. Which it always did (thanks universe) BUT I was limited by how MUCH I could receive because I refused to look at my own money narrative and clear the blocks.
I had been handed a script as a little girl that told me that, as a woman, I would never have to learn to manage or handle money. I had a very traditional upbringing with my elderly grandmothers playing a strong role who informed me that if I was nice and pretty and good at housework and baking (Iâm really good at baking, guys, just FYI :) that I would attract a nice, hard-working man and he would be in charge of all the money.
Nobody in my family spoke about money. It was a taboo subject and considered an absolutely improper topic to ever mention. I was taught that one must never ask how much something cost, how much someone earned or how they managed their money. I never questioned this growing up because often avoiding punishment was more important for my survival than allowing my natural curiosity to ask all the questions I wanted to.
I lived in a cycle of being able to make money easily (Iâm naturally magnetic and good at manifesting) but not being able to hold on to it for long. I had money, and then I was broke. Over and over and over again. It was exhausting and the times that I was broke did a number on my self-esteem and nervous system. It was extremely stressful and made me anxious and reactive.
But then, when I turned 31, life and the universe (Ha! Thanks again universe, you are the smartest!) decided it was time and that I was ready to decondition my old belief systems and rewrite my new narrative. One that actually aligned with my soul, the abundance of our cosmos and the modern world that we live in.
Through some (really touch) lessons I learned that money isnât so hard at all, itâs actually really easy. That thereâs actually so so so much of it â more than we can even wrap our minds around. Being and feeling affluent is a privilege available to anyone who is willing to truly look at themselves. And that having (more than enough) money allows us, women, to become powerful changemakers in the world where we can transform the direction our world is moving in through consciously and with nurturing loving awareness investing out money in all the right ways and places.
Money equals both security and freedom, paradoxical ends of the spectrum that we need to feel in order to live out the fullest expression of ourselves. Money acts as a mirror to how we show up for ourselves, nurture ourselves and value ourselves. When we feel full grace and ease overflows. When we feel empty and lacking, we are always looking to someone else’s cup and creating conflict and drama with ourselves and our relationship with life.
Over the past 5 years I have moved from living in a cycle of never having enough money, and often being broke, to increase my net worth and income every single year. Through a combination of practical practices, manifesting tools and psychological mindset shifts that helped me to completely transform my relationship with money I learned how to create true affluence.
Behold: AFFLUENT. My new course where IÂ teach you everything I know to create an abundant, affluent and prosperous life, against all odds, so you can do it too. AFFLUENT is the result of 10 years of lessons learned and 5 years (and counting) of amassing affluence that provides me with a lifestyle that is everything I have ever hoped and dreamed for. Welcome.
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My career story â how I got to where I am

âWe do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backwards, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.âÂ
â Anais Nin
My career story and how I got to where I am now, is probably the most requested question that lands in my inbox every week. Like every story in my colourful life, it is by no means linear â it’s less about what I did and more about who I became.
The short version (what I did) goes like this: I spent 4 years at university and left with a degree in psychology. I studied Level 1 and 2 Reiki and completed formal and informal studies in the areas of emotional engineering, counselling, business, meditation, positive psychology, epigenetics and neurolinguistic programming as well as developed an analytical practice observing humans in their natural habitat. I delved into personal development out of curious compulsion and for the sake of my own growth and tested (and continue to test) everything I teach, on myself first. I became a blogger and that led to the business that I have now. I continue to study with a focus on spirituality, manifestation, astrology, marketing, photography and deepening my understanding of human behaviour.
THE SEED
It was 2007. I was wandering through the gothic quarter of Barcelona where I lived in a boat-shed-turned-studio-apartment with my best friend, and a string of DJ’s that moved in and out, based on where they were playing. On that one day, I turned to her and said “I wish I could create my own job! One where I could get paid to just be me.” It was the comment that planted the seed.
I was getting to the end of my festival career, tired of the drugs, the sleepless weeks, and the shady characters that bespeckled my otherwise rainbow-filled eccentric life. I’d spent the past 4 years contracted as an artist coordinator for underground music festivals all over the world. Something that I unintentionally fell into right after I finished my psychology degree by being charming, fun and getting to know all the festival producers.
It was the end of the year, the weather was getting cooler and the next job was at a New Year’s Festival in Portugal, still some weeks away. I knew things had to change but I had no idea what to do or where to even begin. I had outgrown the festival life. It had served me well. I had travelled and seen more of the world than anyone else I knew, stories of which I shared in monthly group emails to my ever-growing list of international friends.
Right after Portugal, I moved to London for the second time in my life, became an event coordinator for a prestigious dance company and started seeing a kind man from Manchester. A year later I was done with city life, still no closer to an answer. My self-doubt of what I was capable of and my confusion on how to even start infiltrated any ideas I came up with. I booked a one-way flight to India, hoping that I would discover the missing pieces of myself there. My boyfriend begged me to get Facebook so we could stay in touch, something I forcibly resisted because I was obstinately against the internet at the time. I eventually gave in and created a profile to keep him happy, right before boarding my plane.
THE BEGINNING
I spent 5 months travelling those magical lands, turning to write down every little insight and observation. Writing had always been my solace. One day, a sweet Swiss man who had joined me on my travels for a few days, emailed me back after one of my lengthy group emails and told me that he loved my writing and that I should start a blog. Too attached to the idea that the internet is not “natural” I resisted and dismissed his suggestion.
What I did work out on those travels were two things: 1. I, in my essence, am creative. And to be truly fulfilled and happy, I need a creative project at all times. 2. I really suck at being an employee. I had to create my own thing. I started exploring what was in front of me. I have always loved self-expression through fashion and living in London amplified that. I also wanted to do good in the world, and ethical fashion brands were amazing but the styles mostly drab. Plus, I loved drawing and designing. And I was in India â the land of textiles and inexpensive tailors. My conclusion: start an ethical fashion brand.
I continued travelling, letting this idea infuse within me: back to Europe for a final summer of festivals, then a contract to work in Abu Dhabi for a film festival, then Australia to visit my mum. Another year had passed before I took steps towards this idea.
THE FAILURE
In 2009 I took a government-funded business course to give me a foundation to this dream of mine alongside a pattern cutting and design intensive. I was terrified and deeply limited by my belief that, as a sensitive creative woman, I was not going to be any good at business.
I was right. I didn’t do any of the inner work to look at my limiting beliefs and how they were impacting my life, so my aptly named brand Etica&Ella failed. After developing the branding, the first season of designs and spending 3 months in India forming relationships with ethical production companies, and sinking $20,000 of my savings into the concept, I realised I had no idea how to market my brand and launch it out into the world, and I was already completely over having to cart around so much fabric. And I quit.
I was wiser now. I knew my strengths and limitations better, and while I smarted from the failure of my first attempt my desire to be self-employed only became stronger. It wasn’t even a dream or desire anymore. It was the only way.
In 2010, with the intention to learn how to market and run a business, I was hired as a business manager for an author and public speaker whose expertise was in marketing, with the intention that I would learn everything I could to apply to my own thing. I embarked on the steep learning-curve of coding and WordPress, started blogging and developing an online voice, and did BSchool while cocooned in the safety of that role for 2.5 years.
THE NEW VISION
I distinctly recall shaking with fear and apprehension the first time I shared a blog post on my Facebook wall. I finally pushed the ‘post’ button with the force of my second hand on my finger and waited with bated breath for something to happen. For someone to judge me. To tell me I was being ridiculous. And then… nothing happened. Nothing at all. Some hours later a couple of friends left some sweet words of encouragement. And that was it. I learned that I had to keep going. Keep writing. Keep sharing. Keep honing my skills.
While I didn’t learn as many of the marketing skills as I had hoped, running someone else’s business gave me the confidence I previously lacked, that I could run my own. Consistently blogging and sharing, as uncomfortable as it was at first, grew my self-worth and as a result, my belief in myself. It was the devoted consistency that I showed up with, that allowed the momentum to build and grow.
I still didn’t really know what kind of business I wanted. I was willing to surrender my ego at this point and live my work life the way I lived the rest of my life: with the spiritual philosophies of surrender, trust and being guided. The key lesson in this initial stages was to stop looking for validation to start doing what I felt inspired to do. To just start creating. To do it for me, first.
One day, I received an email from a reader, telling me her harrowing story about the big transition in her life that she was facing and how much my words and writing helped her. She closed the email asking if I was willing to get on a Skype call with her and guide her through some issues. She offered to compensate me. I jumped at the chance and told her that no payment was necessary. That I’d gladly support her in this way. At the end of the call, I realised something: this call was just like the counselling practicals I did after I finished studying psychology at uni. with a more intimate flavour.
A little light went on in my mind. Perhaps this is what I could do for my work! This tiny incident was the turning point for my entire career and I decided to pursue mentoring as the signature service of my business.
By mid-2012 my itchy gypsy feet called me back on the road. My tattoo-artist boyfriend agreed to join me and we booked flights to a festival in Portugal in August, and then travelled through Europe together before settling in Amsterdam, so he could work. I took on creative writing and social media marketing contracts to support myself and practice working online while travelling. I knew I needed to keep building my online presence by consistently sharing quality, free, helpful, entertaining content before I could start earning money from it. That first year, I devotedly kept showing up for my business, without receiving anything in return. I spent the second half of 2012 in Europe and then flew to Mexico for the Mayan end-of-the-world ceremony. I continued: Guatemala, Belize, Honduras, Nicaragua, a month in Costa Rica to stop and work at Envision Festival, Panama… followed by San Francisco and 3 months in Venice Beach, LA.
THE (REAL) BEGINNING
By the time I hit Venice in Summer 2013 I knew something had to give. I had to start making money from my own business. I was absolutely terrified to step out from behind the shadows of supporting other people. It was so much easier relying on others to provide me with income, instead of being responsible for the money coming into my life myself. I knew my mindset and my relationship with money had to shift and that I needed to take a leap of faith and back myself fully even though I was scared.
I’ll never forget the week that I wrapped up and ended all of my contracts. I cried a lot. The fear was almost unbearable. I didn’t have a safehold or savings to fall back on. I was running on hope, my manifestation practices and a whole lot of faith. Inspired by the pain of fear, I rebranded myself as a gypset life coach and developed my first 1:1 offering. I finally put myself out on the line and visible for the world to see. The vulnerability hangover I felt was debilitating. To my disbelief and soul-shaking relief, I had 5 clients sign up to work with me right away. It felt like a fucking miracle. I was finally doing it! My first paying clients, the first time I was really in business, the beginning of it all: August 2013.
All that networking on social media and in real life, the consistent content creation, and the relationships I’d built with people had started to pay off. Showing up, creating and sharing consistently is the only way I know to build and grow a business, something I teach and share in depth in my collaborative course The Heartful Biz. It takes time and dedication and is an investment that grows if you are patient and continue to feed it.
THE MONEY + LESSONS
That first year of business was not easy, I won’t lie. Learning to handle the ebb and flow of income (sometimes it’s scarce, sometimes there’s more), learning to keep a steady stream of promotion and marketing material progressing, wearing every hat from strategy to admin to bookkeeping, and staying engaged in a professional manner was a steep learning curve. Financially, I struggled the first year, clearing just over $18,000. The second year was much easier â it took 2 years before I finally felt supported by my work. I learned a lot about money, my relationship to it, and how to make it.
The past 3 years have since been a development of maturation as my business grows. I developed courses on topics that were frequently repeated in my private client sessions to make those resources more available to everyone. I developed PR and marketing strategies that unfold with time as our online world changes with a key focus of showing up and sharing from a heartfelt place of authenticity, integrity and vulnerability with my key message essentially being “hey, we are all human trying to navigate this strange, beautiful, messy landscape that is life, each in our own unique way, together”.
WHAT’S NEXT
This August I celebrated 5 years in business. Being self-employed isn’t for everyone. It’s tireless dedication, boundaries being tested, risks and endless learning. But I love it. It’s definitely for me. And when I am asked what I wished I had known before starting I would say these three things:
- Start sooner and donât let fear of not knowing enough hold you back.
- Stop looking for validation to start doing what you feel inspired to do. Just start. Do it for you, first.
- Start where you are at and give yourself permission to evolve and grow instead of hiding behind the need to have it all figured out or âbe somethingâ.
YOUR QUESTIONS, ANSWERED
You recently asked a multitude of other great questions so I thought I’d share the answers here.
Do you have an assistant or do you do everything yourself?
I have a video editor and I occasionally hire a graphic designer or accountant to help me with specific business assignments, and I usually have an intern that helps me with general administration tasks but I predominantly do everything myself. I enjoy having full creative control over my work and working in my own flow without having to explain my motives or having to manage other people. This may change in the future as I have considered hiring a full-time assistant to come on board but I’m not quite in that space yet.
What are the next steps in your business?
It’s starting to shift from a service to a product-based business. I’m slowly restricting my availability for private client sessions with my focus narrowing on short, affordable and potent courses that are more accessible to my audience. I love the creative process of teaching in this way and can see that it’s the future for personal development education. Which means that if you want to work with me in person, now is a really good time to get in touch via email: studio@viendamaria.com. I’m also running my popular signature course Manifest More for the very last time this November before retiring it as I have big plans for something completely new and exciting for next year, so if you want to learn about how I create and attract everything in my life, this is a really great course to get on board on before it disappears.
How did you manage the uncertainty of life/business?
I have really powerful practices around trust and manifestation (that I teach in Manifest More). I trust myself, I trust my intuition, I trust the Universe and where it is guiding me, and have tools that bring me back into trust and help me let go of the need to control things (which is fear expressing itself) when I find myself in doubt.
How do you make business decisions?
I 100% use my intuition for every single decision I make ever. I teach the simple process that I use in my course IntuiMethod. My intuition is the smartest, most strategic and surprisingly accurate advisor I have.
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My list of best indie movies for bed days â 2018.

It’s Sunday afternoon and I’m (still) in bed and desperately trying to find a witty, interesting, intelligent film to watch.
I am here because my period started yesterday afternoon and I have a personal pact to this life-changing act of self-care: spending the first two days that I am bleeding in bed, as much as I can. When I do this, the rest of my cycle is such a joy. Resting enough now means that in a week or two I’ll have so much more happiness and energy, than if I pushed on through.
I’m pretty sure I’ve exhausted my Netflix account of any watchable indie films. I feel like every time I ask for recommendations I get the same old: Outlander (ugh, gross, weird fake romance novel series â I mean, what sensible woman actually wants to sleep with, an albeit very handsome â virgin! That’s just… ridiculous), Game Of Thrones (I preferred the books) and oh, I can’t even remember what else right now (period brain â it’s a thing).
So… I thought, why not do you a service instead, and share my list of best indie films I have watched in the past year, along with their trailers so you can check if you might like them, right here. Enjoy!
Lady Bird
If you’ve ever been a mother or a daughter, then this movie about a girl in her last year of high school will speak to you.The Florida Project
Six-year-old Moonee (Brooklynn Prince) lives in a motel on the outskirts of Disney World with Hailey (Bria Vinaite), her young, struggling single mother. Summer vacation’s just begun, and for Moonee, life stretches on like one long, wild adventure. Sean Baker’s film is an unforgettable portrait of childhood and America, lived on the outskirts. I loved it!Home Again
After separating from her husband, Alice Kinney (Reese Witherspoon) thinks the most adventure she’ll have is moving back to L.A. and painting her bedroom pink. Then, she meets a dashing group of 20-something filmmakers â and invites them to stay for a while.The Lost City of Z
In this movie based on a true story, a British explorer finds evidence of a long-lost, highly-advanced civilization in the middle of the Amazon rainforest.Maudie
Maudie is the true story of an arthritic housekeeper who went on to become one of Nova Scotia’s most beloved folk artists.Band Aid
In an effort to save their marriage, Anna and Ben decide to set all their tired arguments to song. This comedy depicts something rarely shown in cinema: The hard work it takes for a couple to stay together, and stay happy.Tulip Fever
A married noblewoman, Sophia Sandvoort, was swept up in an affair with an artist. To escape her husband, Sophia switches places with the maid and runs off with her lover to invest in the tulip trade. Both beautiful and fascinating.Personal Shopper
A personal shopper (Kristen Stewart) for a celebrity in Paris makes contact with the ghost of her twin brother, who died in Paris.I Don’t Feel At Home In This World Anymore
Ruth doesn’t have much of a sense of purpose until one day she finds her home has been burglarized.The Lobster
The weirdest, most excellent film about not having plans on Valentine’s Day. In The Lobster, people are expected to pair off with a monogamous partner by a certain age. If a person fails to achieve coupledom, like Colin Farrell’s character, he’s shipped off to a “single’s resort” where people have a last-ditch chance for romance. I loved it.20th Century Woman
Set in the 1970s, this movie focuses on three California women experiencing love and change in California. Annette Bening, Greta Gerwig, and Elle Fanning were nominated for “Best Motion Picture” at the Golden Globes.American Honey
Shia LaBeouf’s latest film has been nominated for six Independent Spirit Awards. Equal parts weird and fascinating.A Bigger Splash
Watch Tilda Swinton and Ralph Fiennes deal with their angst as they lounge by the pool.
Equals
Nicholas Hoult and Kristen Stewart star in this dystopian film about a couple who dares to fall in love in a society that views emotions as a disease.The Shape of Water
Guillermo Del Toro’s imaginative, sweeping new film is about a deep relationship that develops between a mute cleaning woman and a fish-man, transported to a government lab from his home in the Amazon. Just go with it. You’ll be happy you did.Hello, My Name Is Doris
Watch Sally Field become the most endearing Brooklyn hipster ever.Demolition
Watch Jake Gyllenhaal as a grieving husband tackling his emotions in an unorthodox way.Love & Friendship
Kate Beckinsale in a witty adaptation of Jane Austen’s Lady Susan.Captain Fantastic
This film about a father raising his kids completely off the grid â a fascinating meditation on family and modern living â is amazing!!! -
This is 37

Yesterday, sitting on the 9th floor of the Tate Modern in London â looking out at St Paul’s and the Millennial Bridge through the misty rain â I remembered the very first time I lived in London, 18 years ago. It was the year 2000. The millennial bridge had just been unveiled. I was 19, and young and naive.
18 years later, here I am again, for the fourth time, licking my wounds and spilling my heart out, amongst the concrete and old and new buildings that make up this city.
I turned 37 on Wednesday, August 8. Age and the passage of time feel like such a foreign thing to me. I cannot grasp their concepts and yet, here I am, another year has gone and when I am asked how old I am, I now say “37”. Do I feel 37? I don’t even know what that means.
What I feel, is more myself than ever. I like who I am… no, I love who I am, who I have become and all the incidents, the joy, the pain, and the rollercoaster of life that have brought me here. I have loved and left and lost more times than most, and I am more fulfilled, secure in myself and whole, for it.
Yesterday something else happened. I found a pineapple plant in a bin, which I took home to nurse back to health. It is sitting in a bucket of sugar-water by the window, and I laugh at myself and my compulsion to see the potential in everything and everyone, coupled with an intense desire to bring that potential to life. People, plants, homes. The platform doesn’t matter. I am driven to turn everything with an ounce of breath in it, to its highest potential.
As I nurture this plant back to a full life, mourning all the house plants I left behind only 3 short months ago in the home that I shared with my love, I recognise the one fierce desire that has my mind spinning in circles at the moment. While I cannot, will not live a conventional life, I yearn for a home that I can call my own. But where that home could possibly be, is entirely lost on me. I have no idea how to commit and bind myself to one place.
I always thought that a relationship would tether me to a particular place, but I’ve come to discover that if the terms of the relationship don’t suit me, it is not enough reason to stay. I’ve also realised that this is too heavy a weight to place on another person. I am responsible for my own anchoring and the decision has to come from within me.
My ultimate dream is to live 6 months in one place (Europe?) and 6 months in another (Mexico?) but even committing to that feels almost overwhelming because what if I change my mind?
Where on my last birthday I declared that this was the end of a 9-year cycle, this year feels like the beginning of something completely new. It’s plot-twist central and all I have is my body as a compass. Do what feels good. That’s my strategy and plan of action. Just do what feels good.
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8 self-care products to amplify your intuition

While I touch on the importance of self-care in my new course IntuiMethod because when we take care of ourselves we become a clear channel towards what our body, heart and soul most needs, I focus mostly on the psychological aspects and practices that amplify your intuition. They are the ones that make the biggest difference, but there are a few simple and fun self-care practices that I thought would be fun to share with you.
As you may have noticed, when you feel stressed, are in fight or flight survival mode, and your adrenaline is running high, which is how most people function on a day-to-day basis, it is really hard to tune into the subtle messages and inner knowing of your intuition. Instead, what we do is we rely on our linear, logical minds to direct us forward. The problem with that is that our minds cannot *think* beyond what they already know, so they get stuck in a cyclical pattern which just gives you more of the same.
To step out of that reactive conditioning and actually return to alignment so you can hear your intuition you have to find ways to relax the body enough so you can feel it again instead of avoiding your bodies sensations by staying stuck in your mind. Here are some of my favourite useful and inexpensive products that help me do exactly that, so I can amplify my intuitive voice and follow the IntuiMethod.
GABA â Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid is a kind of neurotransmitter in the central nervous system that helps to ease nervous tension, reduce stress and anxiety, promoting a positive mood and a feeling of well-being. I pop a 750mg tablet in my mouth after a big working day when I feel my central nervous system is extra flustered and it makes me feel so relaxed and kind of stoned. Some people call it “natural Valium” and I have friends who used to use it after big nights out partying to inhibit a comedown.
Calm Nights â We all know that sleep and dreams help us get unstuck from our waking mindset. They allow us to see solutions that aren’t apparent to our logical, conscious minds. Studies show that more than one-third of the subjects in any given study reported that deep sleep or dreaming about a problem guided them to an intuitive solution. But if you’re not getting that deep REM sleep so you can access your intuition? Try Calm Nights, a powerful blend of magnesium, GABA, Suntheanine, L Theanine and Melatonin. I use it sparingly but it works like a dream.
Evening Primrose Oil â  It has a compound known as phenylalanine that can help with pain relief, and is increasingly used with remedying headaches, as well as reducing inflammation. Pain, headaches, inflammation, all these body conditions tend to make us want to avoid our bodies and therefore avoid our intuitions, so taking Evening Primrose Oil regularly helps dispel this avoidance and amplifies your ability to connect with your intuition.
Bach Rescue Remedy â I use the “comfort and reassure” one which I keep in my handbag. I tend to reach for it especially when I am travelling as all the bright lights and weird smells and people coughing and fake air in airports and on planes really disrupts my calm and balance. It helps me stay present, connected to my intuition and patient.
Lavender essential oil â I love dropping lavender essential oil on my pillow before I got to sleep but you can also diffuse it during meditation or journaling or place it on your wrists or ankles before you go out. Its role is to increase calmness that enables us to relax and let intuition be the guide.
Dry body brush â Dry brushing improves the function of the nervous system and rejuvenates the nervous system by stimulating nerve endings in the skin. When your nervous system in feeling good, clean and clear, you are a clear channel for your body to transmit intuitive messages to you.
Epsom salts â If you’re empathic (aka: human) it’s possible that you sometimes feel confused, scattered, exhausted, fatigued and irritable because of the whirlwind of life that is going on around us. Epsom salt in a hot bath soaks away all the external noise so you can come back to the subtle, gentle voice that is always guiding you to your own truth, inside.
Almond Oil â While you’re in that bath, pop a glass bottle of almond oil in it and let the hot water in the bath gently heat the oil so that when you get out you can generously slather it onto your skin. This is a trick I learned from my Ayurvedic practitioner who taught me that it is important to care for my drier Vata dosha type with lost of warm oils. Almond oil is now for pacifying a strung out central nervous system so you can feel your intuition again. Most interestingly, the word ‘Almond’ comes from âAmygdalaâ â a part of the limbic system of the brain â the key role of the amygdala is the function of decision-making, memory and emotions. It is believed that applying almond oil can help keep these in balance.
See all the products listed here:
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How I hone in and focus on a specific project even when I have alllll the ideas

I woke up this morning at 6 am feeling a familiar combination of excitement and anxiety: I had a full day of Skype calls with clients and a creative project persistently tugging at my ankles. It is the one. I want to give it every ounce of my attention. I wake up in the middle of the night to type notes with eyes half closed into my phone for it. I dream about it and stress about it and it is consuming me.
But it wasn’t always that way.
Like every idea, this one came as a passing thought, amongst many other thoughts on a regular thought-filled day. There was nothing special about it. It didn’t stand out in any particular way.
After years of creativity, I now have a candid system, that allows me to capture the ones that are meant for me. This is how I hone in and focus on a specific project even when I have alllll the ideas.
Just like the seasons and the moon and everything else in nature, I go through a sequence of cycles in my creative process. There are four parts: idea, incubation, evolution and formation. Within those four parts are woven four other strategies: testing, space, structure and offer.
Idea
Ideas are like stars. There are billions of them but not all of them are going to light up the sky in your corner of the universe. Whenever I have an idea that I feel particularly inspired or excited by, I add it to a fluid ever-changing list of ideas. I often get ideas while I am working on something else, and sometimes there is an irresistible urge to jump ship and move onto this new idea now. If it’s something smaller, that I can do in a day, I allow myself to be swept away by the creative current. If it’s something bigger, I add it to my list and trust that, if it is the next one, it will incubate and start to reveal more of itself in the future. Some ideas are particularly persistent and alluring, while others fade away and end up being crossed off the list.
Test
Once an idea had caught my attention particularly, I test it out. I start with self-enquiry:
Does this idea stand the test of time?
Do I have the resources to execute it?
Will I still be excited by it in a week, month or year?
Can I commit myself to it for however long it takes to complete?
Is the commitment worth my time and energy?
If there is even an inkling of apathy, I let it be for now. If there is a full-body yespleasetakemenow, I move onto the next phase: testing. I check in with my tribe, the people that I create for, and see if they’re as into the idea as I am. I love that I can rely on them to always tell me how it is. If it’s “no” I drop it and move on. There are always more great ideas.
Incubation
Upon receiving a green light from my folks, the idea generally moves into the incubation stage. This is where timelines start to differ. Some ideas have been quietly incubating before I even took notice of them, so the incubation phase is shorter. The creative project that I am working on right now, has been incubating for about 18 months, but in reality, it is the culmination of my 36 years of existence.
Space
Incubation requires a lot of space in order for the idea to take form. Because it is my idea, it is something that I am already wildly fascinated by and involved with in my life in one way or another, and so it is being fed by my natural curiosity and interest to explore and learn more. Ideas come through me, they are not mine, but rather an expression of all of us, that takes pieces of me and integrates them into it as it grows. I give it space and quietly ruminate, allowing myself time to come to a place where I can feel the fullness of it start to burst forth.
N.B.: Incubation and Space are non-active parts of the creative process. What that means is they require nothing from me, but the allowing of them to be present in the back of my mind, while I do and focus on other things. I might be working on a different creative idea or project while a new one is taking form and incubating. I might be in-between ideas. I might be brimming with allll the other ideas, and giving some of them my attention, while I file others away to refer back to in the future, using the system outlined previously. My focus is not entirely on the idea. Instead, I allow it to guide me, around when it is time to give it my undivided attention. I know when that is, because, like right now, there is nothing I would rather do or think about.
Evolution
This is when things get exciting because I get to initiate the making of the idea into a real, tangible, accessible thing. Generally, all that the evolution process involves is some blank paper or my journal and some coloured pens. I give myself the freedom to play, to be curious, to brainstorm and write down all the concepts and ways that I could engineer this idea. Sometimes it takes a few minutes, as a result of much incubation, sometimes the process happens in moments between other things over several weeks.
At this point, I usually have a number of options around roll-out and will go back and test those with my tribe once more. Sometimes what I think is best, is not what they want, and they always provide me with fresh insight on how to make the things I make, better.
Something else that often happens at this point, is a new wave of bright and brilliant ideas, vying for my attention. I give them the same treatment as I do all ideas: follow through if they are resolute and easily completed, or add them to my list for further review. I firmly believe that if the idea is that good, it can wait for me or move on to someone else who can provide it with the nurturing it requires in that moment.
Structure
Along with this evolution of the idea into a more cohesive form, a tangle of many elements, thoughts, concept and visions, comes the need to wrap the idea in structure, to give it lasting power.
Much like we swaddle a newborn, we want to tightly envelop our idea-babies in a safe web of timelines and plans, so that it can grow into the thing we want. I used to believe that structure was creative kryptonite. I quickly learned after many incompleted and failed attempts to follow through on creative ideas, that without something to hold and move it all together in union the evolution of my ideas are at risk of getting lost and falling apart.
It is here, where I take everything and break it down into a comprehensive, chronological flow that can be easily utilized. I write the overlying concept to guide me and pull out the leading topics. I create a breakdown of all the various steps that need to be done to completion and map out a timeline within which I want to create my vision. And finally, I place each step into my calendar over the defined time-period.
Formation
I often feel like formation is the most paradoxical phase because it is both the most fun (yay: creativity) and the one that brings up the most resistance because now you’ve actually got to do this thing and give form to something that was previously only a notion. The birthing of a creative idea is not without pain or challenge.
The one I am working on right now has been full of stops and starts, and yet every day it finds a way to lure me back in and engage me. I am being stretched and asked to dig deeper than I ever have before which takes more time than my overly-optimistic taskmaster mind likes. I know this about myself and plan in less than I think I can do when I am creating the structure and timeline. I also make a note of celebrating my accomplishments as I go along, every day, even if it’s as small as completing a particularly difficult paragraph.
Offer
This is all about sharing the creative idea with the world and offering it. Another word I could use here is marketing. My marketing process begins as soon as I’ve engaged in the evolution stage. I start by sharing my creative process on social media. I write little hints about it on my blog, like this article you are reading right now. I keep the lines of communication open with my tribe and keep coming back to them, asking how they feel about specific approaches I have in mind around the creative project I am working on. The closer I come to completion, the more I share.
At this point, I am still fairly early on in the active formation stage, and so I’m still holding much of this project close to my heart. It’s important to keep some secrets, secret. But slowly, slowly I am revealing more and more. What I do know and can share is that that I am going to have a month-long pre-sale period where folks can buy this project at a significantly reduced price, before the official release date in January 2018.
That’s my strategic process for honing in and focusing on a specific project, even when I have allll the ideas. I teach other heart-led creative and business practices, like this one, in another of my projects: The Heartful Biz.







